My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Monday, October 17, 2011

Reasons to love Monday... zzzzzzzzzzz

I slept until 5:54 this morning which is about two hours longer than I usually sleep. My alarm cat woke me up in his usual way... putting his paws on my eyes to try to make them open. It worked. I feed them while my coffee is brewing so his welfare check on me is not really unselfish on his part... he wants his num nums.

Intense pain this morning on my lower back/tailbone. I think I'm going to have to take a pillow to work with me. My chair at work is good... comfy... but... even still, I think a little extra lumbar support would help.

I posted pictures from Sarabeth's party yesterday... I kept getting an error message saying that the file was corrupt or the file was full and nonsense like that. I just kept uploading a few pictures at a time... it was time consuming but it worked. There's an album with captions on facebook. I think my facebook is public so that even if you're not a friend you can see the pictures... I'll post pictures here soon...

Sleeping "late" has me all in a tizzy! Have to be at work early this morning for the staff meeting... no time to play! I went to sleep slightly before 9 last night so it's not like I stayed up "late"... but I hadn't slept well Saturday night so I guess I was extra tired.

Ok... let's get this week underway... and although I'm draggy and in a bit of pain... there are still Reasons to Love Monday:

1. Austin worked hard helping me clean house on Saturday... we got an SOS from Jim that mom, dad and grandma were on the way to my house so it was "all hands on deck"... and he really stepped it up to help me.

2. Cooler temps... beautiful fall colors... people come up here on the weekend, "Leafers" we call them, to see the beauty that I get to see every day. I don't take that for granted.

3. My Uncle Bill sent me some more genealogical info with family stories. I'm working on putting these together into a book. I love this kind of information. Our roots are deep in this country and although, the deeper I dig, the more I realize that I'm only about 1/4 Southern Belle when you go back a few generations... that's Belle enough for me!

3.  I just made a second third point. I don't know what my problem is... apparently I'm only about half awake... sleeping late... that's a reason to love Monday, right?

4. We ate so good yesterday! We were definitely living off the bounty of the pantry and I was proud that we could put together good stuff for cheap. I'm going to keep building the pantry bounty, work on that more than on treats and junk we don't need. I'm told that this area gets stuck whenever there's winter weather. I need to have enough staples that we can survive bad weather or lack of funds. Anyways... yesterday it was yellow rice, which Austin loves... and it's incredibly easy to cook in the rice cooker (again, I love my rice cooker! best gift ever!) we were supposed to have tilapia with it but I forgot to cook it and we decided the rice by itself was perfect. We had beef tips and gravy with potatoes cooked in the crockpot. Also yummy. We had a cherry cobbler for dessert.

5. I had a great weekend... which helps lead to a great week... I'm starting my day well rested, energized and enthusiastic. Attitude is everything.

6. It's PAYDAY! It's gonna be rough stretching through to November 1st, fifteen days away, so I'm going to change my phone plan from the unlimited talk, text to just text capability. I pay an extra $40 to talk and I never use it for that. I'll put a few extra dollars on it in case of emergency but that's one very easy way to save money. I'm on a pay as you go plan so I can change it at will. Good times.

A few pictures from the weekend... y'all have a great Monday! Love and hugs!

my kitty cat... tucked in... he can't decide if he's a person or a dog... 

jamie has birthday fatigue... 

my sweet NINE year old Sarabeth

Amused at her card...


Austin and Hannah - not really cousins but... cousins....

Sarabeth with Mawmaw and Pop

Sunday, October 16, 2011

My opinion about the Occupy Wall Street and other similar movements...

I've been sitting and simmering over this post... and I'm finally going to share with you my thoughts on the "Occupy Wall Street" crowd.

I used to tell my boys when they were younger that if they couldn't accept responsibility for their problems that they were powerless to change their situation. You have to know where you went wrong. That's not to say that there are no victims in this world... certainly, there are. There are people who are less advantaged. There are people who find themselves in situations or circumstances that are difficult to overcome. Difficult does not mean impossible.

Are there people in this world who are obscenely wealthy? Yes. Is it their responsibility to share their wealth with you, me, the guy on the street? Maybe. Does the government have the right to Robin Hood mentality - to take from the rich to give to the poor? I don't think so.

Where did we as a society go wrong? Well. Take my life for example... if everyone in my life, including myself, had done what we should have done, my economic situation would likely be very different. If I hadn't gotten pregnant in high school, if I hadn't married Robert, if we had been more financially responsible, if we had worked harder at our marriage, if we had gone to college... see, all those things were ME. My choices, my path that I took in life. Having to depend on someone who is undependable... that was my mistake. If he doesn't pay child support... well, that's his fault... but the fact that I picked someone like that to be the father of my kids... my fault. The fact that I didn't get child support set up to be collected by the government... my fault. The fact that over all these years apart that I have only once taken him back to court... that's on me. So when I look into an empty pantry today, that's MY FAULT.

There are as many different sets of circumstances for the Occupy crowd as there are people. There are people going down to the protest site that are themselves obscenely wealthy. Kanye West went down there draped in gold jewelry. I think the rich... no, I think everybody who has anything in this world has an obligation, a moral obligation, that is, to help their fellow man. But I also believe we have the freedom of choice. My disadvantages, my poor choices don't entitle me to a crumb from anyone else... but there is a moral obligation and I believe that we are spiritually enriched by sharing with others.

Since I left Michael I have had several thousands of dollars of assistance from various friends and family members. I have had help with car repairs... car payments... house cleaning... decorating... hanging pictures... organizing my kitchen... meals brought to us... transportation to the doctor... I have been richly blessed.

I have also been sued by a creditor who I didn't pay.
I have had my house struck by lightning.
I have had my car repossessed. (and returned, thankfully)
I have had my water cut off. My power cut off. My satellite cut off.
I have bounced checks.
I have run out of money long before I ran out of month.
I have had many, many, many situations that were difficult.

But I don't blame the creditors. I don't blame the bank. I don't even blame the lightning that came from the sky. Seriously. If I hadn't moved to a cheaper place this time of economic difficulty would be a much greater crisis. I was BLESSED to be struck by lightning.

These are my choices. I made a choice to marry Robert knowing that he had some character traits that were less than desirable. I married Michael knowing that he was the kind of person who would be difficult for me to stay with. Could I have predicted the Pandora's Box that Michael hid with the unpaid bills and the infidelity, etc? No. But I knew he was not a good man from the moment that he disallowed my children to bring their pets to live with us.

The protesters, those were their choices, too. Anyone who isn't employed right now made a choice or a series of choices that led to that situation. Can I empathize with them? Absolutely. But for the grace of God, that could be me. I don't take for granted anything I have. I don't attach. Health and wealth are not guaranteed in this life.

I don't think anybody has the right to take over private or public property for an extended protest. They are denying others their liberties by supposedly fighting for their own. I don't believe that all those people are there for a legitimate reason. I think a lot of people there don't even know what they are fighting for... because if they did, they wouldn't be Occupying Wall Street... they would be occupying the White House.

I've said it many times... you can't support a socialist agenda in a capitalist economy. One or the other has to give and obviously, with this administration, it's the economy.

What kind of difference would it make in our country - or our world - if everyone gave out of their abundance of what they have to a friend, family member, person in their community who was in need? What if we voluntarily made an effort to make someone else's life better? What if we kept the government and all those pork barrel spending projects out of the equation and each of us took up our moral responsibility to help our fellow man? Each one reach one. Each person investing in the lives of someone... because no matter how much or how little we have, there is no one reading my blog who doesn't have an abundance of SOMETHING that they could share... whether it was financial assistance or encouragement (that's free, y'all!) or lending a hand with something or helping to connect an unemployed person with a job... are we really doing all we can to help our fellow man? We all have something we can share.

To the protesters I say, pack up your signs and clean up the area that you have trespassed on... go out into your world and make a difference. Stop sitting around demanding change... make that change happen.

That's what I think, anyways.

life is good

My Steel Magnolia, Grandma Leta with my sweet NINE YEAR OLD niece, Sarabeth
Sarabeth is nine.
There's a lot of other stuff I could talk about but... look at her... she's as tall as her great-grandmother... wears the same size shoe as her Aunt Mimi... she's beautiful and smart and was a perfect little hostess yesterday at her birthday party.
That's what's on my mind this morning... she's growing into such a lovely young lady. A tween, I think. Not sure exactly what ages that includes... but I think she is one.
I could tell you about getting the notarized official form on Friday that allows me to get a handicapped tag for my car ... and although I knew since Monday that I qualified for it... and I've known for nine months now that it's my current reality... there was something about seeing the words: "permanently disabled" on a notarized document somehow sucked all the oxygen out of the room.
I could tell you about how my kids' dad has apparently gotten into some trouble with the IRS and apparently won't be paying child support in the near future...
And how that left me scrambling to come up with the money to buy food for this weekend... we had stretched our three days of groceries from last weekend and made them last all week... but we're down to the bare bones of our pantry and I needed a good "we just got child support" grocery run. It won't happen.
I could tell you how awesome Austin was about helping with an abbreviated grocery run...
And how thankful I am that he loves tomato soup and ramen noodles (not together, although I bet he would like them together)...
And how I love the way that God provides for us. He really does.
And how I think, there are so many of God's precious children who are going hungry all over the world... who am I to be aggravated with having to actually conserve instead of having our usual indulgences?
Who am I to complain? We have a warm, cozy place to live... internet, satellite tv, running water, a comfy nest... we really are blessed.
Yesterday was a bright, sunny fall day... Sarabeth, Jamie and a dozen or so of their friends... playing outside in the perfect fall temperatures... having birthday cookie and ice cream.... opening her awesome gifts... singing in the back of the truck on a hay ride down to the main road and back...
Life is good.
I mean... ok... life is not perfect. But life is good.
There's a file corruption that is preventing me from downloading the pictures from yesterday... the only one, so far, that I've been able to retrieve is the one at the beginning of this ... Sarabeth and her great-grandmother. Nine years old... and almost 88... the matriarch and her legacy... and when Sarabeth is grown she will have memories of her great grandmother... and this picture, I hope.
And no matter what hardships she faces in her life, she will always be able to look back to a happy, stable childhood... surrounded by a loving family... great friends... birthday parties....
That's what I want to think about today... not the yucky stuff... not the stress... I want to think about how blessed I am...
Sarabeth is nine and life is good!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Family Friday - losing my Scarlett cred....

I hope you'll indulge me another genealogy related post. Uncle Bill sent me some really cool stuff yesterday and saving it on my blog will help me retain it for ... if not posterity, at least for awhile. (although that didn't work so well with AOL Journals... but anyways). 


Yesterday I posted the picture of Lydia Worden, my great-great-grandmother through my mom's dad. John Peet was her grandfather - which would make him my great-great-great-great grandfather. (I think). John Peet was one of the first settlers of Potter County, Pennsylvania. Yep. Pennsylvania. I'm totally losing my Scarlett O'Hara credit through this family line, but I assure you, there truly are deep southern roots for me too. We just don't have the pictures and records because General Sherman burned them up. I'm kidding. I have no idea if Sherman burned anything my southern family owned. But it COULD have happened...


Here is John Peet's account of settling in Potter County:

John Peet moved into Potter County on the 23rd day of May, 1811 taking up a piece of land one mile below where Coudersport now stands.

The following was written by John Peet:

It will be twentythree years the 23rd of May, 1834 since I moved into Potter County. Old Mr. Ayers was in the county at that time, and had been in the county about five years alone.  In the fall before I came three families (Benjamin Burt, Major Lyman and Mr. Sherman) moved to the county.  The east and west state road was cut out the year before I moved in.  It was very lonesome for several years.  People would move in, stay a short time, and then move away again.  It has been a few years since settlers began to stick.  I made some little clearing and planted some garden seeds, etc., the first spring. We brought a small stock of provisions with us.  On the 3rd day of July I started with my yoke of oxen to go to Jersey Shores to mill to procure flour. I crossed  Pine Creek eighty time going to eighty times coming from mill; was gone eighteen days, broke two axeltrees to my wagon, upset twice, and one wheel came off in crossing the creek.

Jersey Shores was the nearest place to procure provisions, and the road was dreadful.  The few seeds that I was able to plant the first year yielded but little produce. We, however, raised some half grown potatoes, some turnips, and some corn, with which we made out to live, without suffering, till the next spring at planting time, when I planted all the seeds that I had left, and when I finished planting we had nothing to eat but leeks,  cow cabbage, and milk. We lived on leeks and cow cabbage as long as they kept green, about six weeks.  My family consisted of my wife and two children. and I was obliged to work, though faint for want of food, The first winter month it snowed twenty-five days out of thirty, and during the three winter months it snowed seventy days. I had one yoke of my oxen in the fall, the other yoke I wintered on browse, but in the spring one ox died, and the other I sold to procure food for my family, and was now destitute of a team and had nothing but my hands to depend upon to clear my lands and raise provisions. We wore out all our shoes the first year.  We had nothing to get more, no money, nothing to sell, and little to eat, and wre in dreadful distress for the want of the necessaries of life. I was obliged to work and travel in the woods  barefooted.  After a while our clothes were worn out.  Our family increased and the children were nearly naked. I had a broken slate that I had brought from Jersey Shores. I sold that to Harry Lyman and bought two fawn skins, of which my wife made a pettycoat for Mary, and Mary wore the pettycoat until she outgrew it, and then Rhoda took it til she outgrew it., then Susan had it until she outgrew it, and then it fell to Abigail and she wore it out.


(Coming next will be John Peet's beautifully written obituary.  -  The "Susan" noted above is Susannah Peet who married William Worden who became the parents of Lydia Worden Clow,)



I was a little confused with this because I thought it was Abigail who married William Worden... but anyways... it is hard to comprehend such financial hardships... I have to wonder if my ability to adapt to economic hardship is genetic... of course... my granddaddy Pennington who came thru this line was an excellent gardener and I can't grow anything but weeds. So I inherit some abilities and failed to evolve other skills. 


OK... John Peet's obituary:


The following is the verbatim obituary of John Peet dated December 20, 1859:

The veteran pioneer is no more.  Being one of the first settlers in this county, and a remarkable man in many respects. it is due to his memory, and it will be profitable for his neighbors to note briefly his life and labors among us.

He was born in the city of New York. April 4, 1772.  Four years later was taken to Elizabethtown, New Jersey.  He was married to his first wife September 28, 1803. lived with her ten days when she died of yellow fever. Was married to the widow who now survives him on August 2, 1808.  Emigrated from Elizabethtown to Potter County on May 23, 1811.  Had two children at that time and seven others were born later. These nine children, the youngest thirty-six are all living.  Eight of them in this county.

When John Peet moved here there were four other families in the county. There were no roads, stores, schoolhouses, and none of the comforts of civilization.  He was a small sized, slender built, feable looking man.  But he was temperate in his habits, industrious, economical, preserving, upright and determined and so was enabled to endure all the hardships which followed and to support a large family under difficulties that would have made it impossible for an ordinary man.

The first grist mill he went to after moving here was Jersey Shores, Lycoming County, distance of 72 miles.  Trip was made by two yokes of oxen and took eighteen days. He went by way of Pine Creek which streams he crossed 82 times.  The only house on the route which he could find shelter after leaving Lymonsville was at Big Meadows.

After this for nine years the nearest grist mill was that of Francis King of Ceres, McKean County, distance of 25 miles. The road to this being very hard, and the trip having to be made with oxen.  It took four days to go to the mill and return.  There were no houses on the road so that one night going and returning had to be passed in the woods.  In the wintertime he necessarily suffered much on these trips.

Notwithstanding the difficulties he and his equally faithful wife continued to support and educate their large family.  He found time and had the inclination to supply the place of minister to all the funerals in the county for more thn twenty years and to minister to other congregations as desired his presence.

His farm consisted of seventeen acres of cleared land, not naturally of the best. He prospered on the small farm because he did thoroughly all his work and spent no money for intoxicating drinks or other useless things, had no lawsuits, and attended to his own business.  Never held either county or township offices, but once at the end of his life term said he "did not see the use of offices of any kind if people would only live right".



I find it a bit ironic that my 4x great grandfather disdained politics just as I do. 
Also find it fascinating that he was born in New York and then moved to New Jersey. On the other side of my lineage, my dad's dad was largely from New Jersey. I mean, can you imagine me as a Jersey Girl? Other than flying into and out of Newark, I've never even BEEN to New Jersey. 


It's also interesting to me to note the extreme hardship traveling to the grist mill. I complain about driving the couple of miles into town for basic supplies and the 45 minutes into Gainesville for things like shoes. 


I'd be interested in hearing from any of you who live in these areas where John Peet lived. 


In other non-genealogical, non-political news: Had another all-day headache yesterday. I was supposed to go back to the doctor after a week if the sinus headaches and earaches continued... it's been two weeks. One of my co-workers is taking a two week vacation starting on Monday so it will be hard for me to take time off to go back to the doctor but it looks like I'm going to have to. File this under major inconvenience.


Of course... it's no 72 mile trip in a wagon pulled by two yoke of oxen... it's all relative. *teehee* It really is.


Hope you have a great Friday! I have some other information about another ancestor that I'll share tomorrow.  Love and hugs!







Thursday, October 13, 2011

thankful thursday - more "begats"



(again, this is copied from my Uncle Bill... 


This is Lydia Worden (1852-1931) born Roulette, PA, daughter of William Worden and Abigail Peat. William Worden left Wisconsin at the age of 44 in 1864 and joined Gen. Sherman's Army. He died of illness at the Etowah House in Rome, GA in 1864. He is buried at National Cemetery in Marietta, GA. His brother also enlisted and was captured by Condeferates at Decatur, GA and imprisoned at Andersonville which he survived but never returned home. Lydia Worden married Ezra Clow (1840-1907), a Canadian. She had two children with Ezra; Clarence Calvin Clow who was killed in France in WW I in 1918; and Alice Clow (1882-1963) who married William J. Pennington in 1905 and gave birth to Clarence B. Pennington (1908-78) and another son and a daughter. Lydia Worden is buried beside her husband at Dawson (Tulsa) OK.)


So the "begats" would go something like this:
William Worden and Abigail Peat had 
Lydia Worden who married Ezra Clow  Lydia & Ezra's daughter,
Alice Clow married William J Pennington and Alice & Williams son,
Clarence Pennington was my mama's daddy. 


That means that this handsome woman is my great-great grandmother. 


this picture is the Dawson Hotel in Dawson (Tulsa, OK) taken about 1910. The small child on the porch is my grandfather, C.B. Pennington (1908-1978). The little girl is one of his aunts. The two ladies are granddaddy's two grandmothers, Lydia Worden Clow (1852-1931) (also pictured above), wife of Ezra Clow (1840-1907); and Louisa McCubbin Pennington (1855-1929), wife of John Pennington (1857-1946). The Dawson Hotel was operated by the Clow family during the very early days of Oklahoma's statehood.


This Thankful Thursday, I'm thankful for the "begats"... I'm thankful for the diverse and interesting people who are my ancestors. I'm thankful for these tidbits of information that I'm learning courtesy of Uncle Bill's research. I hope that blogging about this information will help me remember well enough to pass on to the next generation. 


I'm thankful for the family ties that bind... for those who are close in geography or close at heart... or both... for those who I may not see often (or ever) whose lives still shaped and impacted mine. I'm thankful for the beautiful Steel Magnolia's on my daddy's side - my grandmother and my great-aunt Bette - and the incredible example they are as matriarchs. I'm thankful for the time I spent with my grandmother and granddaddy on my mom's side and how fortunate I was to know - and love them - as a child. I treasure those memories. 


I'm thankful to be a mommy. I'm thankful to be a sister. I'm thankful to be a daughter. I'm thankful to be an aunt - and for the sweet nieces that are the daughters I never had. I'm thankful for the nieces and nephews that are far away but as close as my prayers for them. I'm thankful to have dozens of cousins and a quartet of brothers. I'm thankful to be the only girl in my family! I'm thankful for the life that my parents have given us and how they still take care of us. I'm thankful for my aunts and uncles - some I know better than others. I pray that whether it's in person or through reading the things I've written, that all of my family will feel connected to me and that by living social, I'll feel connected to them.


I'm thankful for the lineage and heritage that is spelled out in the bible. It's a great history book and it's fascinating to understand that Jesus came to a holy family that had some interesting and less than perfect ancestors. That gives me hope... 


This week has taken a lot out of me. I'm exhausted and haven't been able to escape stress this week. I wear stress deep in my back and as a pain in my brain and I don't like feeling this way. I'm feeling a little under appreciated and overtaxed and I'm having to work too hard to just get by. God is in control... I have no doubt... and I have no doubt that the lessons I'm learning this week, the things that are stretching me thin (both my money and my nerves) are part of that thick book of life's lessons that I have yet to learn.


Lydia Worden... didn't have the internet... or electricity... (at least for most of her life, I would guess)... I'm sure she worked hard... probably felt isolated at times because she didn't have the luxury of signing onto the internet and finding hundreds of friends available to chat with from all over the world. I'm sure cooking was much more of a chore for her than it is for me. I imagine that life was much harder for her than my life will ever be. And I pray that my children, grandchildren and so forth will have an easier life than I have had. 


I pray that when my descendents look back and read the things I wrote, that they will be proud to know that I begat them. 


Have a great thursday, y'all. Love and hugs!



Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Terrible Tuesday

It's time to celebrate WHINY WEDNESDAY... and while my first inclination is to expound on the Occupy Wall Street nonsense... this is not a political blog and I won't let it get bogged down in politics. I'm a Southern girl which means we don't discuss politics or religion. Much.

Yesterday had a good chance of becoming Whiny Tuesday but I appreciate alliterations so much that I resisted the urge. We finally got the situation ironed out regarding Austin's reduced lunch. I can't even remember if I've blogged on the issue but essentially what happened was... I got a letter on September 21st letting me know that  his reduced lunch was ending because they hadn't received his new application for this school year. Little surprise... he's a senior... I've been dealing with Austin's failure to deliver paperwork back and forth from the school since he was in kindergarten. I called the head of the Food Service department to ask if I could fax his application. Left a message. Tried to fax with an attached cover sheet. Fax was busy. And busy. And busy. Sent an email with the application attached. No response. This pattern has continued... until I had made four phone calls with no response... three emails with no response... I don't care who you are or what your job is... if a client/constituent/parent makes 8 legitimate attempts to contact you and you don't respond... you either need retraining or a new job. I probably would have let it continue - I'm mellow lately - until Monday when they refused to let Austin charge his lunch - his account was empty because he had not been getting the appropriately priced meals - and so he had NOTHING for lunch on Monday. Not cool.

Long story short ... (too late) ... I called the Superintendent's office, gave them the summary I just gave you and a very apologetic Food Service director called me back within an hour. She had a list of excuses and reasons and some of them are legitimate.... well over half the students in our county receive either free or reduced lunch. It's a big job to process those applications. She would have had a deluge of applications around the time that the benefits from the previous school year end. I get that. However... it would have taken her two minutes to review his application and respond to me and over the course of the past two weeks, there's no reason that she or her clerk couldn't have done that. I asked that she refund the amount that Austin overpaid over the past two weeks since I first attempted to contact her - she was admittedly able to trace back to my original email and application - and she agreed to refund his account the difference between the full price lunch that he paid and the reduced priced lunch that he should have received. It's a difference of over $20.

*sidebar* Having a tight budget this week and honestly, that surprise extra moolah in his lunch account came right on time... so you have to wonder if some of these things happen for a reason, right?

It was frustrating... I'm weary of having to be Austin's only advocate in this world. It's a heavy burden, some times too heavy for me. He had an altercation with his Economics teacher yesterday... who took issue with Austin's "listening position" in his class while the class was taking notes. Austin's IEP provides for him to get a typed copy of notes because his small motor skills (i.e. handwriting) has never improved. His handwriting is entirely illegible, even to him, so if he hand writes his notes, he is never able to read them or use them for study. He has a solid B in that class so it's not as if he doesn't have an interest in and a mastery of the material. He frequently brings up topics and concepts they discuss in class. He's listening. Now, to be fair, he may listen with his head on the desk... but that's how he excludes other stimuli... and when confronted about his listening position he very likely was disrespectful - he always is when challenged, lately. Ultimately, though, the "discussion" escalated to the extent that the teacher told him he wasn't going to make those type of accommodations for him any longer... which he legally can't do. And Austin KNOWS he can't... but it will be another matter that I will have to make phone calls, send emails, probably visit the school causing me stress, frustration and missed work.

I've been doing this since he was two and was biting his playmates. I've been Austin's ambassador to the world... the one who has to listen to his complaints about people... and people's complaints about him. I've lost friends... lost close family members... it's isolating and frustrating and yet, I'm the little Dutch boy with my finger in the dam. If I STOP supporting him, who will? If I stop being his outlet for his frustrations, who will listen to him?

I also got a call from the Sleep Study people yesterday who said I have "mild sleep apnea" which I doubt. I have already been diagnosed with tachycardia and my heart can race at random times without explanation whether I'm awake or asleep. They want me to come back for another sleep study with a c-pap machine, which I really don't want to do... I feel like it's a bit of a scam, have you ever heard of anyone who had a sleep study who DIDN'T need a c-pap? On the other hand... my deductible is paid, I'm approaching my out of pocket limit and... if I'm going to do it, I should do it now.

I'm paying off the cardiologist out of this next paycheck. I'm determined to get this medical debt paid off. The bill to the hospital who provided the MRI and other high dollar exams is more than I can pay in one pay day but I'm going to try to send $50 out of each paycheck until we get there. It may take me ten years... but I want to be debt free before I die, know what i mean?

My blood pressure and heart rate were too high at the doctor on Monday. They want me to follow up with my doctor about that again. Argh.

If I click my heels together three times will I be able to go back to a time when I was healthy or at least healthier? Taking care of my health is a full time job. Taking care of Austin is STILL a full time job and I have a feeling the transition to adulthood is going to create a whole new bag of problems. And I do have, on top of these issues a real full time job. It's going to get worse before it gets better.

So there you have it... a Whiny Wednesday recap of what should probably be called Terrible Tuesday.

Other than that... life is good. I fell asleep early... woke up early... the coffee is awesome, the kitty cat is loving and... we're gonna make it after allllll!


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Newsday Tuesday!

Yesterday I had my follow up visit to the Pain Clinic. I still feel like I junkie when I go there, even though I'm not on what they refer to as "A Narcotics Plan". Nope. No good drugs for me.

Every time I go it's more depressing. The more time that passes without getting better... the more doctors accept it as my new status quo... they don't expect me to get better. I finally figured out yesterday that my follow up visits are to find out when I get worse.

Case in point...I very sheepishly and meekly said, "Is my condition one that would warrant getting a handicapped tag?" and the doc said, "Yeah, that's no problem, we'll give you the form today". I was expecting (hoping for?) him to say, "there's no reason..." or "we can give you a temporary tag"...nope. For me, it's PRINCESS PARKING for LIFE.

The girl in the next exam room was on morphine and oxycotin. It could be worse, right?

I can at least fake it  function most of the work day.

Good news - my cousin Rik's stepson is getting better.
My niece Tiffany is pregnant with her second baby.
Austin worked really hard on organizing his room this weekend. It still looks like chaos to me but at least we're making progress.
The weather has been damp and cool.
Our power went out yesterday morning at 6:30-ish. Fortunately, Pyro-Austin knew where the candles and lighters were. I dressed and put on makeup by candlelight. I had only straightened one side of my hair but it was so humid that even the straight side frizzed out like Roseanne Rosanna Danna by the time I got to work.
I had a bit of a dilemma.... I needed to leave for work when it was still black but when it's dark, because we're basically in the woods, it's PITCH black... I didn't want to move the candles close to the door but I needed to see all the way to the door. I went into MacGyver mode and turned on the car headlights to flash on the porch... I brought my laptop into the living room and angled it toward the front door... i got the candles to the nearest solid surface to the living room... blew them out... followed the laptop light to the door... and the headlights to secure the door behind me and find my way to the car.
Maybe we need to invest in a flashlight.

The work day was shorter since I had my Pain Appointment. The drive to Gainesville and back were stressful because it was raining steadily both ways and windy. My little car was slipping and sliding. I got home and Austin was wiped out... he didn't sleep well Sunday night. He had a bowl of tomato soup and toast and went to sleep at 6pm. I had a grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of hot chocolate and went to sleep... a little later than usual, I crashed at around 9pm.

I'm highly aggravated with the Food Service people at the school. Austin gets reduced lunch- always has since we've been here but we have to reapply every year in September. I've been trying to get his renewal application into the hands of the Food Service director for a month. I've left messages. I've emailed. I've faxed her. No response. They gave him reduced lunch until the last week of September but since then, he's been paying full price which I really can't afford. I've been trying to make sure he has enough cash but money is just really tight right now. I've been working to pay down some debt, partly because it was court ordered and I HAVE to and partly because I need to get these medical bills paid down. So I just don't have cash flow to the extent to pay full price for his breakfast and lunches. Apparently he had charged once before so yesterday... at lunch...he didn't have any money... and they wouldn't let him charge. He just had to go without lunch. THAT HACKED ME OFF! If that woman in charge had called me back at my first phone call on September 21st... he would have a surplus in his lunch account, not having to go hungry. I've talked to the lady who handles Austin's case through Special Ed and today... I'm going over everybody's heads, even if that means I have to go down to the Superintendant's office. Don't make my child go hungry!

Anyways... that's the news from the nest for today... hope you have a Terrific Tuesday! Love and hugs!