My Doctor Visit - Answered Prayers

It has been a week. What a week it's been. Dog sittin' is hard work, especially when they're old dogs and they can't climb stairs any better than you can. I had to go to where they were. And stay. And when I wasn't with them, Austin was.

My kid, bless his heart, stayed up all night with the dogs Monday night. He stayed up while I went to the doctor Tuesday morning and then couldn't sleep when I got back. He went back up there again Tuesday night like a trooper and slept a few hours on the couch. He even handled the vacuuming. I know he's no Rhodes Scholar but God love him, he really does help me a lot. I couldn't have made it through the past few days without him.

Lily the dog has bouts with incontinence. She's did great except for last night... puddles everywhere. We followed her around with a towel and scrubbed the carpet in more spots than I care to think about. I went through three pairs of socks. My pant legs were dragging in it. It was nasty.

I made a pound cake yesterday afternoon. It still feels like a bit of a magic trick, mixing up stuff and POOF... it's cake! I tried to make lemon poppyseed but I didn't have enough lemon zest so it's more like almond poppyseed. Then I decided it would be nice to have a glaze and my glaze ended up too thick. It's more like sweet cement. Tastes good.

Yesterday morning on the way to the doctor I prayed that God would provide some encouragement for me there. I'm not sure if you can tell from the tone of my posts but I've been pretty bummed out since my attorney dropped me and the functional capacity evaluation came back as it did. It made me feel like nobody gets it. I really needed to get some sort of validation for the cost of my office visit.

So I get there and ... that stupid drug test they make me take at every visit? They didn't make me take it. I don't know if it was intentional and I sure didn't ask. Saved me $50. I didn't even finish filling out the two page form I have to do every time and you know what? I didn't mention that either.

When Matt came in (Matt's the PA - I pretty much only see him except for I'm supposed to see the main doctor at least once a year. I never saw him this year) I told him that I was feeling really discouraged and frustrated. I told him that the attorney dumped me because they felt that my records didn't have enough documentation for my case to be approved. I told him I was discouraged that my medical records didn't reflect how disabling my pain has been. I told him that I felt like I either wasn't articulating accurately or I wasn't being heard and that the evaluation only made it worse. Here's what he said:

It's tough to get a disability approval if you are educated or trained in a profession that doesn't involve physical labor. They always assume you can either be retrained - whereas, if you're swinging a hammer all day, once your body goes, they think you can't do something like a desk job because you would have been doing that in the first place. It's one instance where being smart and/or being educated counts against you.

Companies that specialize in disability want to only deal with the slam dunks. That doesn't mean I can't be approved, just that it will take more work. It also puts them in a position that their percentage of approval could go down if my case isn't approved. He thinks that's why they dropped me.

He felt like my evaluation was really good because it validates a lot of the symptoms that I list in my claim. It also says many times that I made a good effort to complete every task. It showed that I wasn't playing up anything, and having that legitimacy goes a long way. The evaluation is only the musculo-skeletal piece of the puzzle. What my doctors will do is attach a statement to the evaluation that takes their findings and expounds it to explain the cumulative nature of my problems... so what I could do one day, I wouldn't be able to repeat on a second or third day and in no way could I do these things five days a week. It will also show how my other diagnosis (things like my lung issue, the interstitial cystitis, etc) that I have in addition to the back pain essentially make me unemployable. And that's what they'll say.

I had felt like the doctor's opinion would be based solely on the evaluation and whatever it said was final. He said that they needed to show that we had done recent tests and had an independent assessment but my doctors know that I'm not able to work. Not part-time, not light duty, not anything. There are too many things wrong. My back might be ok one day but my hip or the fibromyalgia flare up. Or the fibro might be under control and my back gets out of whack. They know that there's no way I can have five solid good days in a row hardly ever. They always encouraged me to work as long as I could and they weren't surprised when I reached the point where I couldn't. They expected that all along.

And he gave me the name of an attorney they work with frequently. So I'll call them... get my records sent over... and be back on track, I hope. To be honest. It's been since yesterday when I left their office and I still haven't called the attorney. I'm so afraid they're going to say they can't help me and I think at that point I might just lose hope.

So, all of that was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm so grateful that Dr. Matt understood what I needed and was willing to provide it. Plus drugs. Without a drug screen. It was the best appointment I've ever had with them and I truly believe that was an answered prayer.

Throughout this process - gosh, for that matter, throughout all of the difficulties I've faced in my lifetime - I've seen a very clear way that God has been able to use my struggles to grow me and to help me better relate to others who are struggling in different areas. It's softened my heart and made me a more compassionate person, I believe.

It actually struck me while I was driving to the doctor that I've always stressed over whether God "could" or whether God "would" do what I had asked for but I finally realized yesterday that so many people who feel hopeless actually wonder if God IS. It's one thing to struggle with what he can do but to not have confidence that He exists would... I don't even know where you turn. Health can fail you... wealth can disappear... our government is so unstable right now, especially in the area of health care... there is so much uncertainty in the world. I need to be able to believe that there is God up there watching over me and directing my path, even when I feel disconnected and discouraged.

I'm grateful for the struggle if in the end it helps someone - anyone - see how well God takes care of us. I'm so unworthy. Things go bad but He always intercedes and I believe that His intercession on Tuesday was because I specifically asked for help and maybe... just maybe... that's where I've been going wrong. Or maybe, that first attorney was never going to be the right one to be able to handle things and God provided this season of "regroup" to get things in order before my case goes to a judge. Or maybe God is going to heal me and I'll be able to go back to work. I don't know. I just know that this was a good reminder to me that even though I feel disconnected in most relationships in my life, my relationship with him needs to remain strong.

I got more challenging news today. Austin never recertified for his food stamps last month. He had such a long window of time to do it. He knew he had to - it was just a phone call - and he didn't. That means that we lose half our food money for this month and I'm out of the extra money that I've been using to buy food when the food stamps run out every month. It means we have to stretch $75 in food money through the next 12 days. Our pantry is fairly packed. We can do it. It's just that ONE MORE THING, one more frustrating, totally avoidable issue to raise my blood pressure and make me lay awake at night doing mental budget math. Honestly, I've been through so many Christmases where we had to struggle. It wouldn't be Christmas if I wasn't broke.

Anyways. Getting sleepy. Sorry that I've been slackin' on pictures this week. I'll do better tomorrow. Happy Wednesday. Love and hugs, y'all!

Dear Santa / My Favorite Things / Stuff I'd Waste Money On If I Had Money To Waste

Santa Baby... just slip a sable under the tree for me...
Favorite Christmas song ever! I mean, favorite secular Christmas song. Surely my favorite Christmas song of all time is a hymn or praise song although none come to mind at the moment because Santa Baby is an earworm and once it starts, I can't mindsing anything else.

I'm running low on blog fodder (I watched the dogs today. The end.) so I thought it would be fun to share my Christmas wish list with you. I don't really do a wish list because ... well, when you're single and your kids are grown nobody really asks you what you want and to be honest, I never ask people what they want. I just buy stuff that I think they'd like. Surprises are fun, aren't they?

And if I could... just a public service announcement... if there's a single mom in your life, especially a truly single single mom (i.e., without a significant other) give her a little something that she can open on Christmas Day. It's hard to be the only one without gifts. Not that Christmas is about the stuff. It's just... when other people get stuff and you don't get stuff, it's depressing. It doesn't have to be much. Just don't let her feel forgotten. I always hated the first day back to work after Christmas because inevitably my co-workers would be sporting new clothes and new jewels and new bags. The time between Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day is the worst time to be single. Everybody gets stuff, you don't. And if you're like me... as a single mom I made a lot of sacrifices and stretched the budget to the point of usually being out of grocery money by the time Christmas was over. I'd be eating peanut butter sandwiches and feeling poorer than ever. DUH-pressing!

For me, over the years it's gotten better. The past few years we've made Christmas Eve day our Christmas morning and by the time we go to bed on Christmas Eve, the gift exchange is over. In a way, it's nice to make *the day* about Jesus and not about opening presents or eating or anything else. It's a day that's truly set apart for me now and I like that a lot. Also, having Christmas Eve be the big day allows my kids the opportunity to be with their significant other's family and with their dad on Christmas and that makes me happy. I've got to tell you... I miss spending the actual day with my boys but them having other people in their life takes a lot of pressure off of me. I don't have to worry about filling their wish lists because I know there are lots of people in their lives who love them and do things for them. There's a special peace in my heart knowing that my kids are loved.

Ok... so my wish list/ favorite things /things I'd buy if I had money to waste list...

1. Crazy as it sounds.... I've always loved browsing gift catalogs from places like Swiss Colony and Harry and David's. I love those big towers of random assorted food stuff. I only window shop. I don't think I've ever ordered anything from one of those places but I can really waste hours picking out my favorite gift box. Good alternate: edible arrangements except for the fact that they use a lot of pineapple (I'm allergic) and they're even more expensive.

2. I have a strange addiction to coffee table books. I've never paid full price for one. I stalk Barnes and Noble after Christmas and find the ones that are 90% off. I've got a nice collection of them and if I ever have spare change after Christmas (which is never) I'm sure to spend it on some big photo biography of First Ladies or something random like that. I like the books with big pictures. It's that simple. My brother's girlfriend got me a book, "What I Eat" three Christmases ago and would you believe that it's one of three books displayed in my living room not on a bookshelf? (The other two books, in case you're wondering are The Bible and a scrapbook I made of the kids' photos when they were little.)

3. Silver rings or earrings. I never wear anything but silver and the jewelry that I wear never comes off. Every once in a great while I'll find an interesting ring and splurge... you know, spend $20 or so... and wear the thing until it's no longer a circle any more. I've had the same silver earrings in my ears for five years. I definitely get my money's worth out of my silver.

4. Comfy shoes. Especially Mary Janes. Must be flats, must be wide enough to not give me ingrown toenails. Slippers are acceptable, the more obnoxious and fuzzy the better. In the same category, fuzzy socks make me happy.

5. The Whine Cellar is close to perfect. The only thing missing is a kitchenette. I would settle for a coffee pot, a microwave and a mini-fridge then I'd never have to climb stairs except to join the WOTWC (World Outside The Whine Cellar).

6. The Whine Cellar is really close to perfect but a nice big fuzzy rug in the middle of the Living Room would make it so much cozier, don't ya think?

7. If I rubbed a magic lamp and a genie gave me three wishes, one of those wishes would be for infinite wishes. In that vein, for my Christmas wish list I would wish for gift cards to buy stuff forever and ever and ever. I need a RiteAid gift card (for my meds), a huge gift certificate to the two doctors I see regularly, cards for the two places I go regularly besides the doctor and the pharmacy: Ingles and the gas station. My wants and needs pretty much run a parallel course. And a gift certificate to zulily.com because that's my daily retail therapy site. I almost always just window shop and hardly ever buy but it would be nice to buy sometimes.

8. Santa, could you send me a few ads for my blog? You know, the kind of ads that some bloggers with huge readership are making five figures a month from? Please and thanks. Then we could pretty much eliminate wishes 1 through 7.

9. An MSNBC talking head bemoaned the use of the "racist and derogatory term dreamed up by a room full of white men" - Obamacare - so instead of asking for an overhaul of Obamacare, I'll be politically correct and ask for a repeal of the UnAffordable Health Care Act. Here's how you fix it: you take all those millions of dollars you spent on the website that doesn't work, you cut out all the bureaucracy needed to make people buy health insurance, you go back to being a barely functional government that isn't trying to develop a single payor healthcare system and you spend the money you've saved helping people who truly don't have access to affordable healthcare by providing it. For a fraction of what's been spent they could increase services available at local health centers. They could stop worrying about stealing from the very slim margins of profit that health insurers recoup and start putting limits on the exorbitant cost of health care. My lab work that I have to have done on every visit has increased from $25 per visit to $50 per visit because they've gone to an automated system. Doesn't automated mean less work? For a person who has never shown positive on any of the things they test for - reduce the frequency of testing. If I had insurance and that lab test was done for a pre-negotiated rate, it would probably be less than $5. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. If I bought into the cheapest Obamacare - I mean, Affordable Health Care plan - I would be spending several hundred dollars a month to have a $12,000 deductible which means that I would have to spend over $15,000 a year before I have any health insurance coverage at all.

I say all that to say this, Santa can you bring me some truly affordable health care this year? My life, health and sanity depends on it.

10. What more can I ask? How about a lovely Winter Wonderland, at least once this Winter. The kind where the snow is deep and the power stays on. Full melting and return to safe streets by the time I develop cabin fever and/or run out of munchies. No deaths. No suffering. Just a few days where White County is really white. That's all.

11. I need three of those really high tech poop removal systems for the cats. I want to know less about their bodily functions than they know about mine (and they all follow me to the potty... ) and not have to worry about scoopin'. For that matter, the absence of dealing with any animal bodily fluids would be awesome. I'd almost move that to the top of the list.

12. Straight hair with body. Not frizzy hair. Not hair that requires thirty minutes of taming every day. No split ends, few grey hairs. Not Farrah worthy hair, just low maintenance hair that looks presentable.

13. Low blood pressure and cholesterol and weight loss without work and while eating whatever I want. Is that too much to ask?

14. A big stockpile of common sense so that I can pass it out to all those who are lacking.

15. An elevator. Jus' sayin'.

16. More sleep. Austin tapped out on the dog watching duties yesterday morning at 5am. He relieved me last night around 7pm - which was nice - and he's on duty until I get back from the doctor this morning so he's going to want to sleep all day. I woke up on my own at 5am this morning and I want to go back to sleep so. so. bad. Hopefully the dogs will be as chilled out as they were during the day yesterday and we can all nap to our hearts content.

And for my family, my wish is that the fish will be biting, FSU wins the National Championship, Pop finds a golf course and golf buddies up here that he loves and doesn't lose his mind being retired, that my kids would be happy and successful, that Austin will find motivation, that my disability will be approved so that I won't be a burden and that we all appreciate each other more and more every year.

Just a Drive-by

It turns out that dog sittin' doesn't involve as much sittin' as you might hope, even with old girls. Especially with old girls. I relieved Austin at 7:45 this morning... he had slept some (and eaten a lot) and had to take the girls out a few times during his shift. He dealt more with Lady trying to gnaw her hide off again. I sent him down to the Whine Cellar so he could rest and I got busy cleaning up his mess. By my count he ate approximately 12 times last night. And thus began my second shift of dog sitting.

I have a ragin' headache. My throat is killing me. I'm running a fever, complete with chills. It's just a continuation of the sinus stuff because my head sounds like a hollow melon. My ears hurt. I feel dizzy and disconnected. It's so hard to tell if it's really illness. The fibro stuff when it rears it's ugly head feels a lot like flu. I could wake up in the morning feeling fine. Or I could wake up feeling like I have weights hanging from every limb like I did today. So every time the dogs needed to go out... have more water... get a biscuit... whatever... it wore me out getting up and tending to them. I tried to take a nap this afternoon because I really, really needed it and I got about thirty minutes in before I had a dog in my face.

Day two is done. Praise the Lord. I'm in the "Cat House" and am curled up under a snuggie. The only time I have to get up is when I have to go to the bathroom. I can hold it. I hope Austin does as well with the girls as he did last night - meaning he didn't have to wake me up - and I hope he does better with his own stuff - meaning I hope I don't have to wash a sink full of dishes when I get up. I never managed to brush my hair or my teeth today. For lunch I made hash browns with eggs. For dinner I had carrot sticks with hummus. My sinus stuff is making me not want to eat. All I wanna do is sleep. Last night I dropped off really early. I missed a call from a buddy who wanted to come hang out. I would have been bad company. With unbrushed hair (shown above) and needy animals.

Tomorrow is my day to hang out with the nieces. Tuesday is my doctor's visit. The dogs are going to be unsupervised both times (unless Austin bucks up and handles it) so I'll be doing some pee and poop removal both days.

I'm so exhausted tonight that I can't even imagine climbing the stairs again. Maybe after a good night's sleep I'll be functional.

That's all I've got. Love, hugs and snowflakes, y'all!

Whiny Saturday

Today my daughter in law graduated from college. They only got four tickets and those, of course, went to her family and my son. The family held a graduation party but - like so many other things - it would have meant three or four hours driving for an hour or two at a party and that is more than I can do in the course of a day. Actually, five minutes into my drive to the grocery store this morning I was already uncomfortable. Fortunately, we only needed a few things and I was back home fairly quickly.

My parents were able to go to the party and it's fitting they should. Certainly they have played a huge role in Marquee being able to go to college, having helped her and Cody with bills and giving them a really affordable place to live. My mom drove Marquee to school and picked her up from school hundreds of times. Cody married a smart girl and she's going to do great things. One of the first smart things she did was marry into a family that would support her educational ambitions. I love her and am so proud of her and wish I could have been there to celebrate with her today.

While my parents are down on the southside of town for the next few days, Austin and I are holding down the fort and taking care of the dogs. Usually the dogs travel back and forth with my mom but the girls are getting on up there in years and they don't travel well. Lady gets so anxious in the car that she chews herself raw. It's only five days so the girls are staying here with us. This is a big change in mine and Austin's routine because although I *help* with the dogs, I'm really more of a cat person. Lily has the bladder of an old human woman and has to go out often. Getting up and down is painful for me, some days more than others. Austin has agreed to keep a vampire schedule for the next few days - staying up at night playing xbox so he can take the dogs out while I sleep. I can handle the extra activity during the day a lot better if I get a good night's sleep. Oscar went with the parents so it's quiet at least. It's going to be a rough few days but we'll survive.

I'm really more stressed out about my doctor's visit on Tuesday than I am about watching the dogs. Honestly, I'd like to be very confrontational and let my doctor know how disappointed I am that my medical records don't adequately document my physical condition. I've spent a lot of money seeing them every month or every other month for the past almost three years to not have records that back up what is really happening. I know that they work hard to cover themselves as far as prescribing medication - to make sure they've documented the need for it. I know they work hard to make sure that I don't have any illegal drugs in my system - I pay $25 a visit to cover the lab work. I have to fill out a two page form every visit that describes my pain and any problems I'm having. Every month I describe the problems I have. I don't have a problem with written communication. It should be clear. Anyways... I would like to be confrontational but the truth is I NEED their help. Initially he gave me the name of a lawyer to use and since I have to find a new lawyer, I think I'm better off using one that knows my doctor and who has worked with him before.

It's just so stressful. It sucks really bad to feel like this all the time. It sucks to miss out on so many things. To feel like there's no clear documentation of what I've been through - makes me feel like there's no validation. Like I've suffered in vain. Not that well documented medical records will make things BETTER but they are a means to an end. I'm angry and frustrated with the process. I would say, having lived through this, that this is probably the part that is the most isolating about pain is feeling like nobody GETS it. I've had people say, "you don't look like you're in pain"... which makes me think that the world expects me to constantly grimace and groan. And then I feel like if I go around grimacing and groaning that nobody will want to be around me.

And. This doctor visit will wipe out what's left in my bank account and I won't have money for meds this month. Some things I can stretch - and do stretch. Some things I have to take. The trick for me will be to figure out what I can afford and what I can't do without to make the most of my pharmaceutical purchase. In the past this doctor has let me sign a payment contract and defer payment. I'm going to try to do that... until I get my tax return. My family is brainstorming ways for me to have an income without "going to work" and they're coming up with good ideas... I'm open to suggestions. The truth of the matter, unfortunately, is that I have days where I can't function at all. Pain affects your ability to articulate, to be pleasant, to be productive. That's why there are some days that I just don't blog. Some days I don't have anything worthwhile to share with the world. I would have to do something that doesn't have a deadline or require me to punch a time clock because I never know from one day to another what I'm capable of doing.

Gloom, despair and agony on me... but in other news... the girl doggies were great this afternoon for me. Lady is more attached to my mom than Lily. Lady will literally howl and moan and carry on if my mom leaves her. Today she got kind of wound up as they were loading the car but then when they left she was very calm and she stayed calm all day. It was almost as if she was relieved not to have to get in the car. I thought that once it got dark she'd be upset and she really wasn't. She took her glucosamine, her baby aspirin and benadryl like a good girl. Both girls want to go outside of the fenced area to go to the bathroom. I let them go and they both came right back as soon as I called. We had one hour where Lily needed to go out four times - and actually went to the bathroom every time - but I get that. It happens to me sometimes too. My left hip/side/leg are hurting today and getting up every fifteen minutes really stunk but Austin has already relieved me and is settled in with the girls for the night. I can just sit and rest until morning.  I told Austin if he got frustrated or tired or anything to come wake me up and let me sit with them. I don't want him to get overwhelmed... but it's really not unusual for him to be up all night.

Anyways... so that's what's happening at the Hollow today. Hope you're having a wonderful weekend! Love and hugs! I promise my next blog post will be cheerful!

Santa Needs Spellcheck

Twenty days until Christmas and the gifts are wrapped but the cards are not addressed. I have the gifts downstairs "under" my tree. No gifts upstairs yet.

The weather is warm and frizzy. I mean, steamy.

Lily, the old dog, follows us downstairs any time we have food and she's afraid to go back up the stairs. One of us has to take her outside and walk her up the (wet, muddy) hill to go in the front door. She's done it so many times that once you open the back door she just automatically heads for the hill. Austin says it's getting old.

Lady is unhappy that the Christmas tree is where her bed usually goes.

The old lady dogs are staying with us when my mom goes back down south for a few days. The biggest obstacle to that is that Lily has the bladder of an old woman. She has to go out several times a night. Austin says he'll just stay upstairs playing xbox all night and I can take care of her during the day. The only flaw in that plan is that I'll be gone several hours on Monday with my nieces and several hours on Tuesday when I go to the doctor.

I finally took a few pictures of the main floor Christmas decor and realized that I misspelled my daughter-in-law's name on her stocking. Of course, I lost "best Mother-in-Law ever" on their wedding night when they had to drive 200 miles round trip in the rain to get the keys to their wedding venue that I had in my purse.

I try. I really do. I don't think God made a mistake by not giving me daughters. I would have messed a girl up BIG TIME. I'm talking therapy before she was out of Middle School.

I had to double check to make sure that Ryan's girlfriend Sara didn't have an "h" at the end of her name. They've been dating for... a long time. I should know how long. I don't have any idea.

I knew that it was a mistake to start working on the tags for the stockings an hour after ambien.

They are more stocking shaped than they look. We almost need a penny in the toe to make them hang right.

Of course, we weren't really sure where to make the cut on who had a stocking and who didn't. One brother is Jehovah's Witness so we don't see him or his kids on the holidays. They were out. His daughter is no longer practicing the no holidays thing so I could include her and her husband and kids but they are too far away to be here on Christmas. My brother in New York might come for Christmas (have no idea) but I don't think his girlfriend will. (Even though we have a great guest room now complete with private bath!) So I included him but not her. My other brother, his wife and four kids do Christmas with her family every year. Let's not go there. And Austin's girlfriend and her little girl... I think it's too new to include them. There could be another 17 stockings just from our immediate family!

The truth is that every time we get together - whether it's a couple of us or a couple dozen - it's a blessing to be a part of a large family. I try to focus on the ones we get to love on more than grieve the ones who aren't with us often enough.

Tonight I'm watching the Sound of Music on tv. They're doing the stage version and not the movie. People who have never seen the stage version might be disappointed. Truthfully, the last time I saw the Sound of Music on stage it was with Purple Michael and this particular community theatre performance was bad. So very, very bad. He and I got started snickering - so disrespectful, I know! We ended up slipping out at intermission. People who work in theatre sometimes make the worst theatre patrons. My friend Gina and I went to see a performance one time and there were so many things that we would have done different/better that she started making a list... and we had a good time dissecting the show afterwards.

I made a little more progress on my living space today. Today I worked on putting books back on the shelf.

The missing ornaments and wrapping paper finally resurfaced. We have four attics. It was in the one attic that nobody checked. I knew it was here somewhere!

I cut my leg shaving this morning which means that it will be a long, long time before I do that again. I liked to never got it to stop bleeding.

Anyways... that's my Thursday! Time for me to remake a stocking tag...

Marquee. M-A-R-Q-U-E-E. I know how to spell it. I really do.

Decking the Halls

It feels like we've been working non-stop for a week but my cozy little Whine Cellar is taking shape. It's not Southern Living worthy... my budget and style fall a bit short... but it feels like home! Austin has been splitting time between helping me in the basement and helping Mawmaw on the main floor and top floor and he's had a great attitude through it all.

We still need to work on the kitchenette/dining area so no pictures from that corner of my world yet... and the stockings are not yet hung by the chimney with care but we're getting closer, we'll get there.

The great thing about being single is that you can have stuffed animals in your living room and Barbies in your dining room and nobody's manhood is threatened. For that matter... you can have a deep purple bedroom and keep Little Debbies in your nightstand.

You can also have pink and purple Christmas trees... and trust me, both can convert to Valentine's trees with the removal of just a few ornaments. I found one really long strand of lights in the one tub of Christmas decorations that has survived and we decided to use them to highlight the trees and the hearth. There are more ornaments somewhere, I'm sure of it. I have the important ones, though, like the little pictures of me and my brother from when we were maybe 6 and 8 in those green little rubber rings.

My Aunt Ginger bought me this gorgeous ornament - a little ballerina, Clara from the Nutcracker and she's holding a tiny Nutcracker. Speaking of... my niece Jamie is going to see The Nutcracker on a class field trip tomorrow and I'm uber jealous. I miss the days of my kids being in The Nutcracker. I need to do a blog entry of Nutcracker memories - at least the ones I can share - because trust me, Dance Moms were crazy long before there was a reality show about them.

Here's one little story for you... one year Cody's class was dancing in two numbers very close together. I think there was one number in between. If you've ever seen the Nutcracker you know that each number is about sixty seconds. We had to get kids out of the Mother Ginger costumes and into Russian costumes (or the other way around, I forget) in that one brief number. This meant that it was all hands on deck backstage getting these kids changed. I think we had about a half dozen mommies in a very, very small space helping with the change. The kids were maybe 2nd or 3rd graders - too young to handle a quick change by themselves. Annnnnyways... the side of the stage we used for their change was only accessible from an outside door and the pathway leading to that door was very, very dark as was the changing space. We couldn't use flashlights because we needed both hands to help the kids change so one of the moms had the bright idea of using those little round lights that you can stick anywhere. They were about six inches round and you tapped them to turn the lights on. One night we were particularly punchy while waiting around backstage and one of the moms - who may or may not be a member of a local school board - stuck two of the lights under her shirt and turned the lights into breasts. Funny enough, just by itself but then we realized we were not alone - the male guest dancer was also back there as his dressing room was also in that corner of the backstage area. We all dissolved into stage whisper giggles and snorts! Good times.

While a big chunk of the country is experiencing record cold, we're having unseasonably warm and incredibly foggy weather. It's spooky outside. Austin took several pictures down at the dock this afternoon.

We're all feeling a bit sore but the house is definitely taking shape. Austin hung pictures for me this afternoon and it's amazing what a huge difference that makes.

Another week is tripping by... hope yours is going well! Love and hugs, y'all!

 Reflection of the trees in the lake.

 from the dock... he was trying to get some contrast to show the fog.

 My loopy lights... from the angle of my nest (the pink chair) it looks good. It sort of frames the stone hearth. You can't really tell in the pictures but the lights are hanging over the part of the room where you wouldn't normally walk because of the hearth.

 The cats are fascinated with Austin for some reason. Maybe it's the hat. 

 My little helper. So far he has totally ignored the trees. He watched me hang the ornaments but hasn't tried to knock any off yet. He wants to make sure Santa Paws is coming to see him!

I'll take some pictures upstairs tomorrow. Good night, y'all!

Catching Up and Christmas Kitties

It's been a busy past few days here in the Hollow. My "busy" probably in no way compares with anyone else's busy but still... at the end of the day I've been able to look back on more than just a successful day on Farmville2 and that's nice. I just realized it's the third of December and I haven't posted since November so I thought I'd catch up with you and share a few cute kitty pictures.

When we last left this story it was Moving Day for the parents. Thank the good Lord they didn't downsize for retirement because then there wouldn't be room for me and Austin and the kitties! Nor would there be room for all their accumulated stuff. Much has been repurposed and/or discarded but you can't have five kids and a dozen grandkids and not have mucho stuff. One day when I'm bored I'll count my mom's angels in the library. Seriously, probably a thousand.

Mom has spent the past few days organizing the top floor in anticipation of Pop's boss coming up for an overnight visit. I've worked hard returning the top floor bath to a guest bath instead of being my dressing room. All of my clothes and books have been on the top floor since this Summer when there was water in the Whine Cellar. All of my clothes and books are in the process of being returned to the Whine Cellar. Stairs are not my friend - you do the math. I've got one more load of stuff to bring down but that will not happen today.

I've downsized several times over the past fourteen years due to divorce, remarriage/merging of households, divorce and fire. I'm fairly conservative in my clothing purchases and tend to donate more than I purchase but still ... it's taking quite a bit of organization to fit my stuff in a regular (as opposed to walk-in) closet. I'm also super particular about my closet - clothes must be in color order. I'm not OCD in any other way but it's a strict ROY G BIV, brown then black in my closet at all times. I'm going to have to make a run to Walmart to get a few more coat hangars and I'll have that task licked but it was no easy chore.

I've also been sorting through boxes that were brought from the other house and finding new homes for things in our space. Truthfully, the Whine Cellar probably has more square footage than my last apartment, minus closet space. There are two big storage areas down here - a huge space under the stairs and a good sized space where the water heater and electrical panel are. In addition there's a big storage shed right outside the door. We have plenty of space for the stuff we don't use everyday. I've just got to find room for the stuff that needs to be easily accessible. When you can't lift anything the term "easily accessible" takes on a whole new meaning.

That whole "easily accessible" thing is the main reason I've relocated my "dressing room" from the top floor. I'm having increasing difficulty with stairs. I'm having a lot more trouble with my knees and hips lately and I needed to scale back those hikes up two flights of stairs every time I change clothes, especially first thing in the morning. I'm a mini-fridge, microwave and coffee pot away from never having to leave the Whine Cellar at all. At the risk of sounding like my life revolves around a tv, having tv down here on the bottom level has significantly improved my quality of life. (And thank you so much Pop for satellite tv down here and for purchasing the larger plan with more channels!) I feel so much more at home now.  Once it's sorted and cleaned to my standards, it will be even more so.

This little piece of ribbon entertained Little Kitty for the longest time!

I'm not completely hermit-ing down here in the basement, though. I go up and cook. Today I made soup from the leftover ham from Thanksgiving. I had made broth from the bone yesterday. This morning I chopped two onions and three stalks of celery and cooked them in butter until they were translucent. I added about six potatoes, ham and carrots and cooked until they were starting to get tender. Then I transferred everything to the crockpot and added about half a bag of kale and that simmered all day. It's a damp, foggy day here so soup really hits the spot. And it will continue to hit spots for the rest of the week, I hope.

(Last night, I'm embarrassed to say, I made tater tots for dinner. Just tater tots. That's all I wanted.)

My mom and I worked today to make matching stockings for our clan - the ones that will be here for Christmas, anyways. We thought it would be fun to have a dozen or so matching stockings hanging from the mantel and down the staircase. We looked at fabric on Sunday at Walmart and all the Christmas patterned material was pricey but in another part of the store I found those little fleece throws for $2.44 each. Two of those made 15 stockings! I'm still figuring out how to do the names - I'm thinking just with tags - and mom's still working out how to make the loop to hang them from - but so far, they're really cute. I cut them out using an old stocking as a pattern and she sewed them. It took a few hours this morning but I think they'll look nice (and I'll take picture once we're done.) I've still got to pack away our Fall themed stuff from the mantel so we can make it Christmas-y.

I've got a few things put out here in the Whine Cellar but it's still a work in progress. I got as far as taking the pre-lit lights that no longer work off the purple Christmas tree (and earned a blister on my finger as a reward) and I've got new lights on but no ornaments yet. How cute is my Christmas kitty? He doesn't seem to mind the little cape.

On Sunday I worked on putting together my super ingenious present idea (that I can't wait to share and I really can't wait until Christmas when people open their gifts!). I found the second part that I wasn't sure I was going to be able to afford and although there was some assembly required, I was able to get it done in about two hours. I wrapped a few things and have a few more still to wrap. We never did find the wrapping paper stash from last Christmas.

Getting the satellite tv hooked up downstairs ended up being a long, long ordeal. The poor fella that was working on it was here from 2pm until about 7pm. It was supposed to take about an hour and a half. What ended up happening - the technician that set up the first two tvs changed our satellite to HD only. The new tvs were being added as SD (because they're both old tvs and not HD) because that was cheaper. HOWEVER the SD receivers wouldn't work with the HD only satellite so he had to upgrade us (for free) to HD receivers since that's all he had. That was my interpretation of what he said, anyways. It was slightly awkward having him hanging out here all day. I felt like we should feed him! He had a great attitude and was very professional throughout it all, though.

Yesterday the gut pain from hell was KILLING me. I was scheduled to pick my nieces up from school so I was avoiding pain meds. I was worried about being in pain until their mom or dad got home and I could drive home but as it turned out, my sister-in-law was home on a conference call so I was just the bus and not the babysitter. I love LOVE hanging out with them but was relieved to have a short tour of duty yesterday. Ironically, by the time I got home the pain had eased up and I avoided taking pain meds all day. I also avoided them Sunday which was similarly painful. Every day I can tough it out on my own is a red letter day in my book! I would prefer to go the "no pain at all" route.

Anyways. My sweet little grandma has been catalog shopping trying to find something to help with my back. Every time I talk to her she asks about this device or that device that she wants me to try. Today she found a brace of sorts that she wanted to buy me. I told her we'd give it a shot. The "angle" affects me more than anything so maybe if I can get in and stay in a comfortable angle, it will help. It's sweet that she has put so much thought into it. She also wanted me to order ten more copies of the book I made for her birthday. She wants to get them to some extended family members. I found some discount codes on Shutterfly so I can get them for a better price than we paid originally (although I haven't told her how much we paid for the original set of books). She said today that the book is a "masterpiece". I reminded her that the words were hers, I just put them in order but she definitely loves having all of that in printed form. She would have made such a great blogger!

That reminds me that I haven't sent in my RSVP for my cousin's wedding in January. Oy. Or done my Christmas cards. You would think with as much spare time as I have I would accomplish more. A little bit everyday. Hoping to bake a cake tomorrow, get more coat hangars, go by the Welcome Center to get some maps for my mom... and continue feathering the nest.

Hope you're all having a great week! Love and hugs, y'all!