My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Monday, June 15, 2009

some drama and some life lessons

This post is for my sister-in-law Candice... who mused today that it's not as much fun reading my blog when we've talked during the day because she already knows everything that's going on - including the things I don't blog about.

It wasn't really that much of a Monday today. I wasn't that tired. Work wasn't that stressful but it also wasn't so slow as to be boring. I have some good leads for commissionable products. Everyone was pleasant. A few minor irritations but for the most part, work was fine.

So we leave the office at 5:29 and a half... Shirley pulls off. Kevin pulls off. I'm always the last to pull out... just because that's the order we always go in and it's a small parking lot so it's easier to just do what you always do than risk bumping into each other. It was hot as blazes outside. June in Georgia hot. I got situated in the car and turned the key and... nothing. Not a click. Nothing. *sigh*

This time I didn't cry.

When my car wouldn't start a month or so ago - and Ginger's husband came and jumped it off - he said, "you probably need to budget for a battery". And I said, "ok" and ... yes, budgeting for extra things is a great idea unless you don't have enough money to even pay the things you have to pay. So I haven't.

I sent Angie an S.O.S. text. She was grocery shopping but was going to come if needed. I was hoping it would just be a matter of jumping it off again but... had a gut feeling that it wouldn't. The landscaping guy was finishing up cutting the grass so I asked if he had jumper cables.... he did... and was a total sweetheart about jumping the car off... and it took forever... and wasn't holding a charge well so he said, "I think you probably need a new battery".

The battery was original to the car which is five years old... and has over 100k miles on it. It held up well. So I drove STRAIGHT to the auto parts place and got a new battery and the nice young guy at the auto parts place put it in for me. Money I wasn't planning to spend... but it had to be done.

I left out the fifteen texts back and forth to Angie and the "be on standby" phone call to my brother...sometimes it's just a matter of knowing you've got backup. Ultimately, though, it was resolved with only a 45 minute delay getting home. It could have been much worse.

I guess the important thing here is that God is always on time. If this had happened while Jim was in Africa, Angie and I would have been flying without a net. If this had happened YESTERDAY... I would have been 45 minutes from home alone with the girls. Tomorrow I have a class in Braselton (about an hour away). It happened on payday. It happened in a safe place. There was help nearby. Now I just need new tires...

So there you go, Candice, some real news!

I had a real philosophical post all ready to share with y'all today and there's no graceful way to seque into it. I'll just say this... life can be hard... you never know what people in your life are facing... you can't always change their circumstances but you can make sure that you are not a discouragement to them. A lot of people are at the end of their resources of time, money, energy and even courage. For me, having fought back from such deep depression, having to find the will to live - and that's a fight I still fight somedays, it doesn't just disappear - most days I'm fine but there are days that it's a struggle. There are days that it takes all of my strength to continue to function... and I am really good at keeping that information to myself. For me... the smallest bit of encouragement goes a really long way... and the slightest slight can be crippling. I can only speak for myself but I know if I feel this way that there have to be others that walk this same tightrope of survival. Let your words be gentle. Let them be kind. It costs you nothing to give encouragement. If you find yourself at the point of saying something negative, give a second of thought to what damage that might do.

Purple Michael taught me a lot of things but one thing that always stuck with me... if someone wants to relate some bit of gossip or repeat something negative that someone said about you... before you consider whether or not that's true, before you think about how to settle things with the person who's talking about you... consider the motivation of the one who is sharing this information. What purpose do they have for repeating something that obviously will hurt you or cause you distress? If what they're telling you is going to damage your relationship with someone, how can it possibly be constructive? Wouldn't it be better to answer the person who is speaking against you with concilliatory words? Why even be a participant in the negativity?

I'm sharing this because I think sometimes people don't know how to talk to people in their lives who have gone through some of the stuff I've gone through. Here's a clue: just be nice. That's all I need - a kind word. Last week when I posted the headache pictures a really sweet friend answered simply, "you are beautiful". The compliment cost him nothing. The boost to my self-esteem was priceless. I don't need to know if anyone is upset with me. I don't need to hear any criticism of how I spend my time or money or energy. I'm doing the best I can. I'm breathing. Some days that's all I've got.

Hello Dolly is on... time for me to lose myself in the fabulousity of a musical. Love and hugs, y'all.

PS... Candice... next time let's just go for boring, ok?


Myra said...

Boring is not a word I would ever use for you, my friend! You are talented beyond belief in so many ways...hang in there!

Tina of Moon Shine said...

someone said to me, "say only the words that matter." made me stop and think...