Down The Rabbit Hole

I am coming to you LIVE from the Whine Cellar at Cedar Hollow this afternoon!

Yes!

We have triumphed over water and mold and after a long sojourn on the spacious and lovely Top Floor of the house, I am back in the basement enjoying the uh-mazing view once again.

I have an outrageous headache that started just a little while ago but I'm medicated and mellowing out in my little wonderland. Down the Rabbit Hole, indeed!

Earlier today I chatted with a friend who is also going through the disability process. It helps to know that I'm not the only one feeling frustrated with the lengthy process even though I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. At times it feels so claustrophobic to be stuck in a place that you have no control over. As much as I love it here, I would love even more to be healthy and able-bodied and independent, more than you know. Yet, being surrounded in such a lovely space certainly helps pass the time.

There's a lot still to be done in getting Mi Casa up to my (very low) standard of cleanliness. This poor basement spent the Summer being occupied by water, mold and boys. I keep finding random empty styrofoam cups... tools... YuGiOh cards... bits and pieces of carpet... Fortunately, though, the "damp basement" smell has dissipated and has been replaced by the lovely aroma of purple paint.

I really love my deep purple accent wall. Mom is suffering the after effects from painting. Her shoulder and arm are hurting her today... that concrete block required more than one coat... but the added color really makes the room feel more like a cozy bedroom than a basement.

I'm loving the deep purple with the sage green things I had. I got Logan (who is the tallest among us) to hang new curtains for me and found a blanket in the color I wanted. My bed is lopsided because of the foam pads and feather cushion I use to try to make it more comfy for sleeping since my back usually is only good for about half the night in one spot. Stretching out on the loveseat vs. either being in the recliner or laying on the bed will help a lot as well... my back doesn't like being in one position for long.

I need to hang something above the bed but I'm not really sure what yet. Maybe a wreath with the purple and green tied in?

I added a few more Fall decorations to the mantle, which has been begging for a theme for a year now. I picked up a few things at Dollar General and added two of my teapots... a little candy corn... and I think it looks nice. We need a bigger focal point in the center but nobody can part with the sweet picture of Jamie running up the aisle before Cody and Marquee's wedding. I think even if we just hung a big mirror there... Maybe when Pop is retired he can paint something to go there... but for now, at least it's sort of Autumn-ish.

My mom planted some mums at the top of the driveway. I don't have a picture to share because they're... well... at the top of the driveway. Next time I go out I'll get a picture for you.

I started watching the series Breaking Bad last night. Now that it's completely over, I can watch it since I know the story wasn't dropped halfway through. The afternoon showing of Grey's Anatomy has cycled all the way through back to where I started watching it earlier this year so I needed a new serial drama to watch. We have Netflix and the Comcast/Infiniti thing where you can watch on your laptop. Since my big - too heavy for anyone to lug and too awkwardly big to fit in anyone's car - tv set is still on the Southside of town, the only thing keeping my little Whine Cellar from being perfect is the lack of regular tv down here. Cody said he'd rather buy me a new tv than have to carry that other one again. He's kidding, of course. And I'm not blowing my budget on a tv when I still need a phone.

ANYWAYS... someone asked in comments about using the little mobility assistance devices - scooters - at stores where there is a lot of walking. The thing is that the position you have to sit in to ride those things is worse on my back than walking. And by the way, thanks for the comments. I love getting feed back!

The headache meds are kicking in and I'm ready to have a little supper and hopefully have an early bedtime. Hope you have a great evening. I'll be looking out my window...

What's New At Cedar Hollow?

Today we made so much progress toward getting me moved back into the Whine Cellar! And by "we", of course, I mean my mom, Austin and Logan. We'll be able to move the bed down there tomorrow and my next blog entry will be coming to you from my newly carpeted and de-molded living room whilst looking out over the lake. I'm so excited!

It was such a beautiful Autumn day here. I wish we could have this weather year round. The temperature is so comfortable and the sun is bright without being scorching or blinding. I took this picture ------>
from the dining room looking out onto the screened porch on the main level. The screened porch is the cats' favorite hangout. Lily the old lady dog sometimes goes out there to do her business when she can't get our attention quickly enough for her to go to the poop pen out front.

With the windows open and fresh breezes blowing through the house we have added cedar shavings to the poop pen to improve the aroma coming from the front windows. The cedar really smells good. And of course, since we live in "Cedar Hollow" it seems appropriate.

Mom and I made a mega-Walmart run this morning. I was not really up for it - pain wise - but I also felt like it wasn't going to get any easier as the week went on so I just bit the bullet and went. We split up - she made her way around the store starting with housewares and I made my way around the store starting in the produce department and we met in the middle at the paper plates. I got there first but she had some trouble getting assistance in finding the items she was shopping for.

Her big project for the day (after Walmart) was to paint an accent wall in my bedroom with the leftover purple paint from Austin's room. I just fell in love with that purple! None of my bedding matches so we are going to have to put new bedding on my "after disability is approved" wish list but for now I think I can make it work by tying in the sage green and brown that I have been using.

I just wanted something that was unique and feminine and... heck... we had the paint already... so why not? I think it will look better when the furniture is in there and you're not just staring at a big purple wall.

Of course... in the early days of my blog I used to emphasize male names with blue and female names with pink and same sex oriented names with purple which is how my beloved Michael became Purple Michael. So think of this as a way for me to stay connected with him... the purple wall and my thumb ring. I wear a thumb ring because he does. It always makes me think of him. We lost a good friend last week but he also has two other people in his life, very close to him, who are facing huge odds health wise and since I can't be there to make sure he eats and rests.. take care of him like I used to do... I just make sure to cover him in prayer and good thoughts. Being in a place of stillness physically gives you a lot of time to think about the people in your life and spread good their way.

The carpet in the basement has been laid by my Basement Clown Posse. Honestly, these two kids earn their keep over and over by being the Do-It-Yourself-ers I would be if I could physically do what needs to be done. The carpet has some shade variations that look a little odd... and there were a couple of places where things aren't perfectly square but they were the best help that no money could buy! You would think it would be easy to just go in a straight line across the floor but that assumes that the walls are all exactly plumb (and they're not). It was also a really tall order for a kid who still can barely write his own name legibly. He has really poor small motor control for things like writing. His Occupational Therapist gave up on him in 4th grade. Oddly enough... he can juggle... but he can't write and he certainly can't write straight. I'm just glad they got the carpet laid and we can once again enjoy my happy little space facing the lake.

A few more pictures from today...

happy vacuuming boy!

SUCH a pretty face!

looking down the hallway to my deep purple room...

the floor in progress....

the lower part of our yard...

the upper part of our yard... bright sunshine, just the beginning of fall colors

There are two churches around here that mark the true Fall season for me... one is Zion Church on Highway 115 East of Cleveland because they have the most colorful trees on their property. The other is the little Catholic church on Helen Highway because they take an already beautiful church... with a great view behind them... and add PUMPKINS!  I took this picture while driving so it's not a perfectly centered shot but I didn't do any alterations to the colors in the picture. The sky was JUST THAT BLUE today!

Just one more from the porch this morning...

I've fought past pain two days in a row this week to do what I had to do. I have a doctors appointment on Friday. I hope I wake up feeling ten foot tall and bullet proof tomorrow so I can get everything set up downstairs. I rest best when my environment is neat and clean and has everything in it's place. I would LOVE to be able to get everything done tomorrow. We'll see. And if not... I'll just go outside and enjoy the view!


Happy Tuesday, y'all! Love and hugs!

Life is What Happens In Spite of the Pain

 It has been one of those days where I feel so blessed to be living here in this place... in this space in time. I know there's a lot of hullaballo going on with our government. I believe it will get much much worse in our life times. I believe we'll look back on these as "good old days" at some point. It troubles me. Lots of things do. When will I get approved for disability? WILL I get approved? What do I do in the meantime? What happens if I get approved and *BAM* that social service disappears. You have to think about these things but you CAN'T think about these things all the time because you will rob today of it's joy in search of tomorrow's troubles.

TODAY I woke up in a fairly bothersome amount of pain. I have a pain that feels unrelated to my back pain(s). It's a sharp, tender pain in my left side, a few inches above my hip bone. Some days I swear it's diverticulitis because my mom has had diverticulitis and anything she can do, I can do better. Some times I think it's related to the ovarian cyst they found two years ago when they were trying to diagnose my back pain. Sometimes I'm certain that it's a hernia. An alien. Who knows these days? I just know that about once a week that pain hits me and it is beyond the reaches of any of the meds that help alleviate my back pain. It needs to be checked out but I have to have some kind of medical coverage in place first. Still working on it.

And by "still working on it" today I was in too much pain to even think about adding the aggravation of dealing with our FUBAR government. This afternoon I spent some quality time with my little red haired girls. And when I got home I was wiped out... completely worthless... in bed just after 8pm. That tired. Pain is exhausting.

I had pain all day but I also spent a lot of time admiring the lake... after the rain we had last night it seemed like everything was lit with sparkle lights this morning... every tree, the lake... just beautiful. I just stood there and breathed it in.

Sarabeth had to stay late for chorus this afternoon so I picked up Jamie and we hung out in the parking lot until sister's class was over (it was only about fifteen minutes). I made a cute little video of Jamie talking about her big sister - who will be 11 years old next Monday.

I was still in pain, in some ways it was much worse but to sit there with little Miss after her day at school... chatting about her day... just soaking up the precious soul that she is... and then adding big Miss into the mix after chorus... it makes it all worth it. I was going to hurt no matter where I was... to hurt in the midst of the little girls I love the most in this world... very, very ok.

When we got to their house we watched their videos from Camp Woodland and they reminisced. It's funny to see how much they've grown just since the Summer (and the Summer before)  It was so sweet that they wanted to share those memories with me... making sure they had my undivided attention... *fighting* over my attention... and then we put in the movie Tangled and Jamie curled up beside me. Sarabeth is not a cuddler but Jamie is. And I got to be a girl mommy for a few minutes... watching Disney princess movies.

I got back to the house and knew I didn't have it in me to make dinner. I stuck a frozen voila meal in the microwave. Not the healthiest but better than having just kitkats and ice cream for dinner.

The temperatures dropped fast when the sun went down. I had to switch to a long sleeve shirt and warm fuzzy socks to be comfortable. And I had to take some nyquil for this junk in my chest that is becoming problematic. And the combination of my usual knock out meds and the warm fuzzies and the nyquil made my bed all too appealing. I won't be awake much longer.

The boys are working on laying the carpet in the basement. I might be resettled back in my happy little Whine Cellar in the next day or two! I can't wait to curl up on my loveseat and look out onto the lake... that's my peaceful place.

Mom and I have to make a trip to Lowe's and a food shopping trip tomorrow. That's a lot of walking for one day and I'm praying that I'm feeling better than I did today. I need a break from pain to get a few things done. I just want to feel better.

Gonna hit the hay. Hope all is well. Love and hugs y'all.

7 Quick Takes - #3

Linking up again because... well... it's just what I do on Fridays, apparently. 

Oscar hoping we're going fishing instead of just looking at carpet. 

1. Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Luke 6:45

I was trolling for interesting quotes on Pinterest this afternoon and I came across this verse. All of us have our favorite literary works for whatever reason in which we find our truth. The Bible holds my truth. Even when I'm not deeply, actively studying the Bible (you know, because I have so little free time lately :cough:LIE:cough:) even when I'm not seeking His truth, it has a way of finding me.

And my truth is this... what I write here in this little old 100 views a day blog (which trust me, is peanuts in the blogosphere)... what I have to say is transparent and relate able enough that people get me... maybe even sometimes I give a voice to someone who isn't sure how to articulate what they're feeling. Maybe seeing what others go through on a daily basis validates what you're going through. All I know is all I know. I can give you my opinions on things but I can't speak with authority on many things. My blog comes from the overflow of my heart.

2. This week... it's been a little sadder than I like. First my friend Amy's Nanny dies (and I wasn't well enough to go to the funeral) and then a girl from my youth group at church lost a sibling... and a friend from high school lost a sibling... and Fast Eddie passes away... and there's just a lot of loss going on in the lives that touch my life this week. There are a lot of reason to be sad. There's a lot of reasons to be well aware of our own mortality.

Trouble is OVER all this political stuff!

3. Our nation is as sharply divided as it's ever been in my lifetime. There's no sense of compromise on either party. People are out of work - people with decent, steady, government jobs are missing a paycheck. Kids are missing out on preschool. Parents are having to scramble to make new arrangements. We're a dysfunctional nation and lots of people are collateral damage of the egos in Washington on both sides of the aisle. All I know for certain is that we are broken and nothing ever got fixed by yelling and posturing and holding press conferences pointing fingers at others. Communicate. Govern. Do what you're elected to do. Compromise. That's all. Kum-bay-ya.

4. And honestly, I think I probably talk about it every day but I can only tell you what's in my heart... I'm in a lot of pain. The pain is getting worse. At first it was just positional and now, even in the best position with the minimal amount of abuses to my spine (abuse = sitting on a hard surface, carrying something heavy, repetitive motions) it hurts all the time no matter what I do or don't do.  Every two or three days I allow myself to take one of strong painkillers and in the 3 or 4 hours that it's at it's peak efficiency, I get some relief. In those few hours I try to accomplish anything I need to do that day. Then it wears off and the pain comes back and I try to distract myself until time for bed. And then I just pray that the combo of knockout meds will sustain me through the night.

5. There is a community of suffering that exists right where you live... I will bet you know somebody (besides me) that lives with chronic pain. They're that weird cousin who never comes to family gatherings. They're the weird girl who used to come to church every Sunday that you haven't seen in two years. They're that girl behind you in line at the grocery store who looks like she might cry when there's a problem ringing up your items. We're everywhere, us pain sufferers. And what's worse, most of the time we're nowhere. You don't see us because it hurts too much to walk among the able bodied. We don't talk about it because you're tired of hearing it. We don't moan and groan because we don't want to run off the people who live with us. We don't help each other because what we have to live with is already too heavy of a burden to take on concern about someone else's pain. We work hard to look normal and not let you see the pain in our face. We're here with our blogs and our online gaming and our cats and our favorite tv shows and websites that offer us a distraction from the pain. But I can promise you... we're here.

6. Tonight we started looking at the new carpet for the basement, deciding which way to lay it. Do we want the pattern running horizontally or vertically? I'm pushing toward vertical as it seems to make the room feel longer. I'll (of course) take lots of fun pictures so you can see our progress. I would be so very happy to have this done this weekend and be able to start feathering my new nest again.

7. I'm going to embark on a Greeting card project starting very soon. I need something to do that will help me connect with the world outside of my nest. I've got a big stockpile of greeting cards and I'm going to just start sending them out randomly... in hopes that my mailbox will get something in it besides the local pizza coupons. If you're willing to play pen pal with me, please send your name and address to my email - heathernancine@gmail.com . I'm the world's worst at getting stuff done but I'm going to do my best to make sure I get something in the mail to everyone who gives me their address... it may be a Halloween Card... it might be a Christmas Card... it might be a homemade card, you just never know. I just know how exciting it is when those things start coming back to me. I love knowing how far and wide we're spread.

And that's my Friday. I'm getting sleepy. Love and hugs, y'all.

A Sad Thursday

 For some reason our ice maker always gets clogged up with one little ice cube. You'll hear it jam up and it just a constant knocking until someone dislodges the ice cube. I can't reach it so I use a long grilling tool. 

Yesterday I stepped on a tennis ball... you want to guess what happened next? Let's just say it wasn't graceful and it didn't HELP my pain.

It's not that we play tennis. The ball belongs to the dogs. And not that the dogs are here. We have cats who play with dog toys when the dogs aren't around. And we have people who can't keep their balance when they step on dog toys.

So I'll be feeling that pain for a few days.

Fortunately I bought groceries yesterday and have no other obligations this week. Also fortunate - Austin has been relatively cooperative this week. He even cut the grass with no prompting from me. I told him that this might be the last time he has to do it this season. Maybe once more.

Another childhood friend lost a sibling today. He was only 42 and died after a short illness. You know what's weird? When Elvis died at 42 I thought that was SO OLD and now it seems so incredibly young.

My kid is installing an organ at Carnegie Hall today. The stagehands are on strike there and he was warned not to cross the picket line. However, he said the striking workers offered him coffee and donuts. He spent five hours waiting to be able to install the organ. Ultimately, he was able to complete the job and the show will go on tonight.

Unions aren't that big here in the South. All I ever knew about unions growing up was that it was a strike that put Eastern Airlines out of business and a bunch of my friends from school had parents that worked for Eastern. I grew up just a few miles south of the Atlanta Airport in sort of a blue collar community. Everybody's parents either worked for the airlines or for the Ford or GM plants. A lot of mothers didn't work.

I made stir-fry for dinner. Usually I just mix a little soy sauce, garlic and honey for my sauce but this time I splurged and bought a pre-made sauce. I like mine better. It was still good and it went a long way. Less than an hour later and the boys have already come upstairs for snacks. I'm still stuffed.

me and Ali after she played Fontine in Les Mis, CAST 2003

As I was typing this blog entry the news popped up on my facebook that my friend Eddie Ramsaier has passed away. His daughters Ali and Gaby are 26 and 23 and little Mary is a senior in high school. I've never known a better father (and I have a great dad and brothers who are great fathers). I've never known a man who more loved by his wife and children than this man. I loved his New York accent. Getting an invitation for dinner with the Ramsaiers was like winning the lottery. When I was out of work he connected me with a friend of his who needed someone to clean his house and at the time I really needed the money. You don't forget those kind of things. His family was one of those strong forces that makes life better for everyone who comes in contact with them, the bedrock of our community. He got sick early this year and has fought... and his family fought... all year to get him back on his feet. Today he lost that fight. He will never have the chance to walk any of those beautiful girls down the aisle and right now my heart just can't take it. Life is just too short. Rest in peace, Fast Eddie! Put in a good word for me with the big man upstairs!

Love and hugs, y'all.

Whiny Wednesday (and a few good things, too)

I am extremely fatigued today. Completely wiped out. It happens occasionally. It's part and parcel of the auto-immune dysfunction I'm dealing with and it's happened before but I hate it so much. So much.

First thing this morning I made a medium sized grocery run. I wasn't really feeling up to it but you reach a point where it's easier to go to the grocery store and pick up a few easy to prepare meals vs. trying to find the energy to prepare less easy to prepare meals. I bought a lot of fresh produce instead of the highly processed, highly preserved stuff. I prefer the taste of real food and I feel better when I eat real food. I'm broiling salmon tonight and doing a beef stir-fry tomorrow. The stir-fry goes a long way so it will make several meals. I bought more of my latest addiction - carrots and hummus - grapes and pears and juice. Trying to experience Better Living thru Farming rather than Better Living thru Pharmaceuticals.

I'm still keeping an eye on the lack of process in Washington. Here's what stumps me: Our President is refusing to negotiate the financial feasibility of a bill that has already been passed yet he has cherry picked which companies do and don't have to participate... he has delayed the employer mandate while implementing the individual mandate... It's the constitutional duty of Congress to balance a budget. If Congress looks at legislation that is pending implementation that doesn't work with the budget, how can they pass a budget? Maybe I'm missing something. The Executive Branch of the government (the President) doesn't have the authority to nip and tuck a bill that has already been passed. Yet he does.

In cousin news today... my cousin Lisa posted this on facebook. This is the reported experience of a friend of her with the healthcare.gov website. I haven't done any fact checking on this, I'm just passing along what I've heard.

I actually made it through this morning at 8:00 A.M. I have a preexisting condition (Type 1 Diabetes) and my income base was 45K-55K annually I chose tier 2 "Silver Plan" and my monthly premiums came out to $597.00 with $13,988 yearly deductible!!! There is NO POSSIBLE way that I can afford this so I "opt-out" and chose to continue along with no insurance. I received an email tonight at 5:00 P.M. informing me that my fine would be $4,037 and could be attached to my yearly income tax return. Then you make it to the "REPERCUSSIONS PORTION" for "non-payment" of yearly fine. First, your drivers license will be suspended until paid, and if you go 24 consecutive months with "Non-Payment" and you happen to be a home owner, you will have a federal tax lien placed on your home. You can agree to give your bank information so that they can easy "Automatically withdraw" your "penalties" weekly, bi-weekly or monthly! This by no means is "Free" or even "Affordable." One persons experience

My kid is in New York City today. I am  only slightly jealous of him because he's there to work and one of the jobs he's there to do is being impacted by a stagehand strike. Still... such a cool job he has... you never know where he's going to end up. For those who haven't been around - Ryan works for a company that installs and repairs organs. Musical organs. He also installs and wires up the speakers that go with these organs. He's done it since he was a teenager and he's very good at what  he does. He installed the organ in the Tampa Hockey Arena... he goes to a lot of chapels and churches and just random places. It's a great job for a single guy except for the fact that it has him living in Pennsylvania and he has to go out of town a lot and be away from his gorgeous girlfriend, Sara. Have I ever shown you a picture of Sara? She's a doll. 

This is a really bad picture of me because it's after Austin's high school graduation and I was a sweaty mess - that spot on my dress? Sweat. It was hot. Sara's the blonde and Marquee is the brunette. I had to wait a long time for daughters and I really lucked out with these two. They're both working hard on getting their education so hopefully I'll have educated grandchildren. One day. 

Anyways... I was hoping Ryan could spend some time with his Uncle Bryan because I miss both of them so much and if I can't be with my family, I like knowing that my family can be together. I'm not sure that they were able to work out the logistics. 

Also on facebook today... when I was a teenager there was a group of girls from my church that I spent most of my free time with - Susie, Andrea, Kim and Stacy. Once I got married (before high school graduation) they all sort of drifted out of my life. When Cody was in elementary school he and Kim's son were on the same baseball and football teams but it ended in a really unpleasant situation with her and I haven't spoken to her in... gosh, I don't know... maybe fifteen years. I recently (through facebook) was able to get back in touch with Susie who is now a grandma. Nothing shows you how much time has passed like your friends becoming grandparents. And then today Andrea posted funeral arrangements for her sister. I don't know how she passed... she's only 50. It doesn't seem right that our siblings would pass away. Makes me really sad. One of those mortality checks that reminds us that none of us are going to live forever. 

 It turns out that the cost of Grandma's birthday party is less than what we see on the menu. That's happy news. 

Also happy news... leaves are changing color. We're only a week or two away from real fall color here. 
I finished a book last night that I've been reading at bedtime for about two weeks so now I'm back to reading the book I started reading two books ago. I have literary A.D.D. I found a Burt's Bees gift set on clearance at the grocery store today - I love Burt's Bees stuff but it's pricey. I got small sizes of five products and a new lip balm all for $6. Usually the lip balm by itself is $3. I also found these perfect little latte bowls/cups for a good price. Basically they're bowls with handles which is great when you take most of your meals in a recliner. (because sitting at the kitchen table hurts really bad). I remembered to buy a birthday card for my niece... now I just have to not lose it before her birthday. I found lighter weight cat litter - making disabled cat ladies everywhere happy. Little Kitty ate a bug today, earning his keep. 

And that's about all I've got today. Happy Wednesday, y'all. Love and hugs. 

Tuesday Stuff

A very rare photo of Austin smiling. Black makes him happy.

So many thoughts today... no logical order of things. This entry brought to you by Better Living Through Pharmaceuticals. I hate them but today has been one of those days that I am so grateful to have access to some sort of relief.

Where to start? Obamacare? Government shut down? Weather? My unbelievably miserable pain? I'll cover them all and include photos of Austin's room throughout.

Ok, Obamacare. I understand the healthcare.gov website is crashing. I also understand that I'm below the income level of being fined for not having insurance. Has Obamacare changed my life or improved my standard of medical care? Am I receiving my "right" to health care? No. Not yet. Those meds I took today were one hundred percent paid for by me. My plan is to go to the local DFCS office and see what kind of information they can offer me. Maybe tomorrow. I just can't get behind any law that is passed with the kind of obnoxious statement Nancy Pelosi made, "we've got to pass the bill to see what's in it." that's dangerous pool in my book.

Logan's dragon

Government shut down. Instead of starting with the hard working folks with government jobs losing their paycheck, why not start with the folks who are failing to do their job by passing a budget? Seems to me that if they were missing out on the cash they'd be a lot more likely to find common ground.

The fact that Obama is more willing to deal with the Muslim Brotherhood than he is with the Republicans in Congress says a lot about what's wrong with our country.

I know of a few people who have been furloughed. A friend got notice that his son's pre-k (which I thought was funded by the lottery in Georgia) may have to close if the shut down continues past this week. I'm bothered by the thought of our military not receiving pay or benefits. I don't understand the concept of "non-essential" employees. If you're not essential, why are you being paid? I'm a big fan of National Parks and it's unfortunate that they would close. I just believe there is so much government waste. Our priorities are out of whack. Help those who can't help themselves. Give a hand up instead of a hand out. Don't create generation after generation of people who are dependent on the government. The people who are receiving have no incentive to achieve and those who are giving up a large portion of their paycheck lose their incentive to achieve. We become a nation of underachievers.

That's out of my system now.

In good news... we discovered today that Papa's Pizza delivers to our house. OH! Happy! DAY! Austin had two friends spending the night... Logan (who is here more than he's home) and their friend Sean. The two friends went in with me on the cost of pizza. We had a late lunch/ early dinner so I'm happy. No mess in the kitchen. All good stuff.

the whole dragon

Yesterday when I took my nieces home after school we made a video of them doing the Cup Song. I posted it on Facebook but couldn't get it posted here. It's adorable. You should check it out. THEY are adorable. You won't believe how grown up they look. My favorite part of the whole process wasn't on the video. It was Jamie asking if I was going to put it on my blog. I started blogging the day after she was born. She knows Aunt Heather blogs and she knows she's one of my favorite blog subjects.

Also really funny... Sarabeth is having a birthday party this month for her 11th birthday. When she turned two she had a "Cow and Pig" birthday party- it was farm themed. She says that now she's having the 11 year old version of a "Cow and Pig" birthday - they're going to have bbq for dinner and bacon for breakfast. She's witty, that one. I told her I'd see if I could find some cow and pig themed snacks.

The weather continues to be absolutely perfect. Here's a picture of the clear blue sky and puffy white clouds yesterday while I waited in the car rider line at the girls' school. It was 52 degrees here this morning. Nice chill in the air... mist rising from the lake... just perfect.

Today was supposed to be grocery shopping day but I knew by the time my feet hit the floor this morning that I didn't have that kind of strength today. Instead I made a quick trip to the Dollar General for necessities (juice and cat litter) and decided we'd try again tomorrow. It would have helped if I had cleaned out the refrigerator yesterday. It was one extra step in the process that I knew I didn't have in me. Also... it was "must wash" day for my hair and too cool to head out the door with it wet. I needed pain meds and couldn't take them and drive. So when I added up all the steps - shower, dry hair, clean out fridge, shop, put away groceries - that had to be done while still in pain, I knew I had to hold off. It's not like we're OUT of food. We've got lots of ingredients... just not a lot of quick stuff and when I feel this way, it must be quick. That's what made delivery pizza such a happy, happy thing for me.

I think Austin's room turned out just fine for Austin. Personally, I think it could use two coats of the black but if he's happy, I'm happy. I went ahead and let him move my bed into his room. At the end of November we're moving a bed up from the old house for me. In the meantime I've got the bed on the top floor that we might just move downstairs if there's going to be a time span between the Whine Cellar being ready for me to inhabit again and moving day for the stuff from the old house. If the rightful owner of the bed I'm sleeping in (my cousin) comes to claim it, we'll move my bed back from Austin's room and let him go back to the air mattress. Confusing? It is for me too. My dad has a chart that outlines what bed goes where and when. I just know that my kid is back in his little nest and no longer littering up my Whine Cellar Living Room with his X-box Lounge and his Basement Clown Posse.

I am really fond of the purple we used, though and if my budget would allow, I would totally redo my bedroom that color of purple. I'm strongly considering painting the downstairs bathroom with that color but the thought of taping up all those fixtures (or supervising Austin doing it) makes my head hurt.

In cousin news... I literally have dozens of cousins... that's why there's rarely a day without a cousin encounter of some sort... I had a nice chat on Sunday with a cousin who is getting married next year. This is the only child of the Uncle that I worked for. We didn't really have a lot of chances to get acquainted while we were growing up...and she's ten years younger than me... but we had a fun chat. Facebook has connected me with family in ways that would have never have been possible otherwise.

My cousin filled me in on where Grandma's 90th birthday party is going to be held and good GOLLY Miss MOLLY that place is expensive! There's not a single entree on the menu under $20. I hope the cost doesn't keep people away because to me 90 is a big, big deal. I never go out to eat and I'll do this. It's gonna hurt like heck and it will hurt worse when the check comes but I'll do it.

And now I'm out of steam. Hope your Tuesday has been good. Hope this entry made sense. Thanks for stopping by. Love and hugs, y'all.