My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Single and Proud.

Happy Valentine's Day y'all! Or... as I like to call it: Singles Awareness Day. Or... as my friend Matt calls it: Old Furniture Day.
I think I have finally accepted my singleness to the extent that a big old gooey made up Hallmark holiday no longer bothers me. Much.
And... I'm just glad that I'm at a point in my life where I've learned to accept things as they are instead of struggling to make my circumstances fit my preconceived notions of how the world should be.
In other words... I'm ok with not getting flowers or candy or jewelry from "the love of my life" today.
(although I will admit that I'm coveting one of those pandora charm bracelets and even went to all the trouble to build one online the other day when I was bored, knowing that I could never afford it...)
The world tells us that we should be coupled up... and I have spent way too much time and effort trying to fit that mold. I'm single and it's ok. I kinda like me this way.
And... if we're going to let the world tell us what we should do... most of the world doesn't believe in Jesus as the Messiah, who came to save us from our sins. I don't want to fit in - in that way.
The world tells us that abortion is a "choice"... not for the baby, it isn't. I'm ok with being contrary on that point.
The world - at least the media - tells me that I should be a size 2. I'm not.
I had a dear friend tell me once that as a poor, working, single mother that the last thing I should be is a conservative Republican. I'm ok with that. I was never meant to be politically correct.
While Jesus walked this earth he demonstrated His love for the sick, ugly, crippled, poor, meek, weak, friendless, mean, hateful, possessed... He even showed His love to a group of people who ran out of wine! Imagine that! Jesus did an awful lot of things that didn't fit the popular world view.
It's ok to be unique. Different. I'm ok with that.
Aren't I fortunate that I don't need a huge vase of flowers on my desk at work to feel loved?
I got flowers every (both) Valentines Day that I was with Michael and they were beautiful... but they didn't smell good enough to cover up the stink of our relationship.
There are a lot of women out there who are in relationships where they're getting STUFF today... but they're not getting the love they need.
I'm proud to be in a sorority of women who are strong enough to make it on their own. There is no shame in passing up bad, toxic, unholy and unhealthy relationships to say, "I'm going to wait to see what God has for me..." which is what I've done finally learned to do.
I've made a pact with God that He alone has my heart... and if there is someone out there who is worthy of us, Mr. Right will have to ask my Heavenly Father for the right to entertain me.
And if he isn't out there. If He doesn't agree. Then what an awesome time I'm having on my own in the mean time!
There are a lot of awesome relationships out there that I really respect and pray for daily. Marriage is the foundation of our communities and it's the foundation of our churches. I pray for there to be healthy marriages all around me... and I pray that I will always be a source of encouragement to younger women to respect what God has given them in a husband.
I don't ever want to be the poster child for "single is better... abandon your marriage and take a walk on the wild side with me!".
Being single is hard but God is good.
I struggle. That's no secret. But it's very, very rare for me to feel lonely.
I'm so glad that God has changed my heart from constantly pulling at the bit... looking at every single man as a puzzle piece and mentally trying to see if he fits in my life.
I'm just working hard at being the me God intended for me to be and being available to His will for my life, whatever that entails.
And if you want a laugh today... check out this HUH-larious blog entry by Jon Acuff about surviving church as a single. If you're single... you'll laugh at every line. If you're married... you'll see yourself in a few spots.

Time for me to glam and get ready for the day. Please continue to pray for me as I am struggling physically right now. God is propping me up something fierce and I have no doubt it's because of the ones who are so faithful to pray for me.
I want to leave you with just one thought: no matter how alone you may feel... you're not alone. No matter how unlovable you think you may be... there's one who will always love you. No matter how attractive the world's view of romance may be, it will never fill you up. No one man can ever provide enough love for you to fill the God sized hole in your heart. Married, single, divorced, widowed, whatever little box you check ... God is there for you. And I am praying that this Valentines Day you will feel loved like you have never been loved before!
Love and hugs!