Update on Cosette and Oliver

When I was a kid I thought of grandparents as the "little old lady" and "little old man" although, to be honest, I had one older grandma who was probably more traditional and one younger grandmother who is still living at the ripe, young age of 94. Now we live in an age where Granny is more likely to be called Mimi or Missy and ... things are just different.

My "babies" (as I still refer to them) are 3 and almost 3. Cosette just turned 3 on April 29 and Oliver will be 3 in July. I see Cosy a couple of times a week and I see Oliver once or twice a month. I talk to Oliver on Facetime once or twice a week so... we're in close contact, even if I don't see him as often as Cosette.

Because Cosette's parents have sort of a fluid, make it up as we go along, joint-ish custody arrangement, and because Cosette's dad lives here with me and doesn't yet drive, I have more responsibility for Cosette than I do for Oliver. I do a lot more actual parenting of Cosette where with Oliver I have more of a traditional Grandma relationship. Things with Cosette's mom are currently pretty good. We have had struggles in the past and when things are going well, I am relieved and appreciative and NEVER take it for granted. It's been a lot of emotional, frustrating work to get to this point. Cosy is shy and introverted and can be a bit more clingy than Oliver... who is a free spirit and (at least for me) rolls with the punches. Cosy though, is my girl. She loves watching me do my hair and makeup. She loves dresses and tights and hair bows (finally). She hangs out in the bathroom with me while I take my shower, watching videos on YouTube and chatting with me. We love to go to Dunkin Donuts and get "pink" donuts for her and coffee.

Cosy is still very attached to her pacifier, although we are trying to substitute chewing gum instead. She is no longer addicted to Frozen. Minnie Mouse is her ride or die chick now. She loves animals and flowers and her daddy. She is happiest when she's outside working with her dad in the yard. She is also a mommy's girl. If we've been gone for awhile she will ask to go to mommy's house (and whenever it's practical, I will take her home... I want her to feel that I support her relationship with both of her parents, they are both important). She is a girly girl who likes having her fingernails painted (by her dad, of course) and loves to watch me put on makeup and fix my hair. She loves anything pink or sparkly.

Potty training with Cosy has been... complicated. She goes through spells where she goes potty for me like a champ and other times she screams bloody murder if I try to sit her on the potty. I would say she is mostly in big girl undies when she's with me during the day but is one hundred percent in pullups at night and about 90% in pullups when we leave the house. She hates diapers and pullups and wants to wear "Minnie Mouse undies" all the time when she's with me but... she can be sketchy about cooperating going potty.

Despite the additional work involved with getting her to go potty... I absolutely love the time we spend together while she's on the potty. I have a little stool I sit on in front of her and we talk while we are waiting for something to happen. I have been taking her to the potty with me since she was a year and a half so... I'm used to her company in the bathroom. My latest trick with her is to suggest that she try to "toot" while she's on the potty. It seems to get her to relax more and engage the right muscles to get the teetee out too. And as my honey always says, "farts are just funny".

Oliver is ALL BOY! He is funny and likes to make people laugh. He loves sports (just like his dad) and Mickey Mouse and superheroes. He loves the Toy Story characters, Buzz Lightyear and Woody. He will say, "to uh-finity and beyond!" like Buzz does. He likes to run and climb and has never met a stranger. He sometimes gives his mom a hard time and he cries when it's time to leave my house (which breaks my heart). He has infinite patience for Cosy who can tend to have a harder time sharing toys (because she's used to being alone with me) and who doesn't like hugs (the whole introvert thing). He has the most gorgeous, long curly hair that his parents haven't been able to bear cutting. One day, eventually. Right now it's sort of his trademark although I do with him the same thing I do with Cosy which is, immediately pull it back out of his face so that he can play without hair in his eyes. He is started to go potty... they use a combination of English and Spanish with him so instead of "undies" like Cosy wears, he wears "chonies". He will also tell you body parts in Spanish and English and sometimes instead of "I love you" he says, "Te amo" which... melts MY HEART!

I knew that I would love being a grandmother but I was completely unprepared for how intensely I would love these tiny humans. I can not imagine a world where I don't see them as often or where I might not get to talk to them as much. They are my people... my reward for putting up with their dads... and they bring so much joy into my life. It breaks my heart that they will probably not remember my mom because she loved them so very much and every milestone with them is bittersweet because she's not here to share it. I just try to love them like she would and I just hope I'm even half the grandma that she was.

Tell me about your grandkids (if you have them)... your favorite things to do together and your experiences with potty training! Love and hugs, y'all!

The 2nd of July

No rain today but it's on the way. Mom worked on the yard without nearly enough assistance from my young professional x-boxer (which is different from being an ex-professional boxer) because it's going to be too wet the rest of the week and she's heading back to Riverdale on Saturday and will be gone for two weeks leaving the yard maintenance up to our less than enthusiastic gardener.

I went to the grocery store to stock up on necessities. We were poor hostesses when Aunt Ginger and Uncle Carl were here. I'm generally the one who does the cooking but only if I'm feeling up to par and that day, I was sub-par. Also. We just didn't plan well. Aunt Linda is coming tomorrow so I actually shopped and planned a bit. It's not exactly turning the mountain house into a Bed & Breakfast but there are things to eat with minimal effort. Stir fry chicken and veggies for dinner tomorrow night. I think our offers of hospitality need to come with the disclaimer that you want to schedule your visit for a time when Pop is here. Then you will be fed. Otherwise... you will have things like this...

 for dinner. Cantaloupe. Sweet, juicy, delicious cantaloupe. Trouble licked the juice afterwards. For lunch I had butter pecan ice cream with caramel sundae sauce. Just keeping it real. For breakfast we had lovely yogurt/fruit/granola parfaits drizzled with local honey. I have an odd, very sugar-full diet lately. I lean toward simple, clean, one ingredient type foods (the yogurt was fat free and greek) but I only want sweet stuff. I have also been snacking on bagel crisps since retiring to the Whine Cellar.


The most exciting thing that happened today was this....

 massive mushroom that is growing in our front yard. It's truly amazing. I took photos from the porch, down below (our front yard is a steep slope) and I went up to the top floor of the house and took pictures looking out the window like this...

 I'm just so fascinated by the fact that it's SOOOO large that it can be viewed from such a large distance.I'm hoping our Mellow Mushroom survives the next three days of torrential rain that is predicted. 

And I love the way the sunbeams shine down right in front of it... 

 In other news... Oscar the Security Dachshund decided that he needed to climb up on the stool (that is where I put my laptop when I'm upstairs during the day since we don't really have a table nearby for me to put it on)...He's watching my mom with the weed eater in the front yard. I just thought he looked so cute here... 

So intense!

 Keeping close watch...















In other news... I got a call from the Social Security office today. They have sent me lots and lots of forms and they received them back from the post office "not at this address". She confirmed the address they used and it's the right address. I had noticed the other day that the mailman had a little card in the mailbox that said, "Grant Family only - all others return to sender" and it worried me some because our last name is GANT not GRANT - and from a legal standpoint, my name is DARBY. But I thought... surely... the little rural mail carrier instruction card we had to fill out listed the names of the people who should get mail here and I was listed - would supercede any little mailbox notes. Furthermore, when I closed my P.O. Box I did a change of address form to send mail from the P.O. Box to this address. We made a new note for in the mailbox and I called the local post office and gave a whiny little rant about how this is causing delays in the disability process which is no bueno! I know that God's timing is perfect and I will dwell on those happy thoughts instead of going down the stressful bumpy road that has me running out of money before disability is approved.

I struggled a bit with grocery shopping today. Had another bad dizzy spell. They seem to happen when I walk for any length of time, if my pain is exacerbated, if it's humid outside... I had hoped that it was detoxing from the neurontin that was causing the dizzy thing. Apparently not. Some of the other side effects that were attributed to the neurontin were things like not having muscle control over elimination... it's not a Depends situation... it's just that when it's time to go, it's hard getting things going... my concern, the last time I saw the neurologist (two years ago) was that this is the beginning of a loss of control over those things and he felt - at the time - that it was just a side effect of neurontin. But now I'm not taking the neurontin and it's not getting better. For that matter... despite not working... I still have pain every single day and some days it's worse than it was when I was working full time. This thing is progressive and it's progressing too far and too fast for my liking.

But ... for now... all I can do is just relax, keep breathing, live the best life I can, be grateful for my family and how well they take care of me... and love on this.... sweet little Trouble Kitty (he's sleepy here, not mad) ...

And cuddle up with little dogs who like to share my recliner....

He's covered up in my skirt. I had only a knee length skirt on so he had to relocate to the couch with Mawmaw because she has all his warm fuzzy blankets.








One more picture...

My adorable unemployed game playing  grass cutting (occasionally) mop head of a teen. Y'all, those of you who pray, will you join me in praying for guidance in his life, that he will find his way. He's not doing *bad* things (that I know of) he just has no real idea of what he wants to do with his life and how to get that ball rolling. He needs to learn to drive. He needs a job. He needs to figure out what kind of college or technical school he wants to go to. Aspergers makes this transitional time of life so. much. harder. Having no paternal influence or encouragement... having a mom who has limited ability to take him places and help him push through the boundaries that make this whole process so difficult. His small motor skills are horrible. His handwriting looks like a six year old did it. Everywhere he is asked to fill out an application, he feels like "what's the use". I'm going to try to get him back to the jobs program he was in last year... see if we can take applications away from the work place so that I can fill them out for him. I don't know. He's just lacking motivation and I'm not good at pushing him.

Anyways... that's what's happening here in Cleveland, GA on July 2, 2013. Hope you're all preparing for a great 4th! We have watermelon and hotdogs - we're all set!

Love and hugs!