The 11th

 I absolutely adore sweet Southern women who grow things in the dirt. There is a sense of assisting God with their understanding of how to make things grow. There is something almost Holy - definitely spiritual - in their gift, to be in tune with the patterns of living things. In full disclosure, I also appreciate Southern men and even people who aren't Southern who have this same ability but there's just this maternal, nuturing aspect with Southern women who grow things in the dirt.

I HAD to leave the house today. The weather is overcast (again/still) and the temperature is mild. My pain this morning was bad - shedding real tears bad - but the mild pain meds that I take every day helped me function enough to be able to make a trip into town without making me too loopy to drive. I finally splurged and bought deodorant (I never COMPLETELY ran out, just for the record) but the real necessity was cat litter. I have scooped diligently but I believe all three cats are using the box on the main level as their primary potty therefore it was beyond scoopable.

Whatever the motivation, it really was good to have a change of scenery. The thing about living here, in a small town, is that phrases like, "can I help you find something?" and "how are you today?" are sincere questions and not strictly rhetorical. People look you in the eye and smile and there is no underlying anger or aggressiveness like I feel on the Southside of Atlanta. Even a stop at the McDonald's drive thru (bribery to get the kid to do the litter changing) was pleasant with smiles and giggles (that I had to pour out a cup of water to have room for drinks) and it's always just a pleasure to be out and about even when it IS painful. And it was, increasingly.

Nevertheless, I decided to make a stop by Fritchey's market - it's a little veggie stand a few miles from the house. My preference, of course, is Loganberry Farm where they only sell stuff they grow and you know that it was grown in the most natural, kind way possible, organic and all that. Loganberry Farm, however, is out of the way and a bit more expensive and down a very windy road that frankly, hurts my back like crazy to drive. Fritchey's is mostly locally grown produce (not entirely organic) and although they don't have an inspirational Earth-Mother like Organic Rose, they are still staffed with those aforementioned Southern women who grow things in the dirt. I bought some corn, some peaches, some orange tomatoes (which I love because they're less acidic) and a few cucumbers. We chatted about the over-abundance of rain we've been experiences and the under-abundance of sunshine. Things are green and growing like crazy because of the rain but not blooming and becoming mature fruit (and veggies) because of the absence of sunshine. Figs still haven't ripened and they are typically ready in mid-June. I really, really want some fresh figs that haven't been shipped from Ecuador or wherever.

Even though I have been more frugal this Summer than ever before in my entire life, I think days like today when I splurge on things like a basket of home-grown peaches are an absolute necessity for my mental well-being. I don't spend much money on myself, evidenced by the recent deodorant crisis. Maybe I should clarify that I don't spend much on things other than medical expenses (which is the bulk of my budget currently). I purposely avoid going places because for every little excursion there is the temptation and sometimes the necessity of spending. We've stretched the pantry quite nicely this week and I'm proud of that. I'm also pleased to have spent a little today. I needed that.

More than anything, I think, I just needed to be connected to the world outside this little plot of land. I love it here. The view here will never get old and I will never take for granted being in a small town with smiles and politeness and women who grow things in the dirt. I don't feel the elephant on my chest today. I don't feel the anxiety, despite the pain being at a more severe level. I so very much enjoyed getting out among the three-dimensional people and I so very much wish that my body would allow me to do that more often.

A few unrelated random things: I'm thoroughly disgusted with the George Zimmerman trial. Yes, he was a wanna-be-cop who went beyond the scope of what he should have done. It's a tragedy that never should have happened. However, I don't think it's murder. Manslaughter, perhaps. What disgusts me is the entire trial being carried out under one set of charges and on the day that closing arguments begin the State wants to include lesser included crimes which the Defense has not had a chance to bring witnesses against or include in their prepared closing argument. I also don't understand the presumption of a black/white race war as a result of a not-guilty verdict, should that happen. Um. Isn't George Zimmerman Hispanic? And also, the judge in this case looks and sounds just like my Aunt Clair. I mean, JUST like her, which is weird because Clair has a very distinctive voice.

Austin willingly changed the litter box and even swept. He needs a haircut and I may actually leave the house again this evening to accomplish that task, if possible. Otherwise... I'm going to just bask in the afterglow of my morning excursion and enjoy my peaches.

Happy Thursday, y'all.

The Seventh of July

I actually left the house today... first time since Tuesday, I think. I had to pick up a few necessities (but forgot the deodorant. there's enough to scrape it out and use it and once that runs out I'll go back into town). It was amazing to see the world after the storms of the past week. Everything is extreme green, muddy and soggy. All these dirt roads up here have flooded out onto the main road leaving a trail of mud and gravel on the paved roads. There was a huge branch across the road at the entrance to our private road (with enough room for me to drive past it without having to move it).

I'm having one of those *must medicate* pain days. Bad enough that the brief trip to town (about twenty minutes total) had me in tears on the way home. It stinks. It really does. I got a ton of paperwork in the mail - the stuff that I'll have to fill out over the phone with the disability attorney. I'm going to have to do some research to find the names of the doctors who have treated me for all my respiratory stuff. So many doctors over the past five years that I can hardly remember who is who. The sooner I have the info together and the more prepared I am for my next phone call with the attorney, the quicker this process will go.

I started the night last night on my couch down in the Whine Cellar but woke up with not one but TWO cats on top of me. Eddie the Ginger Cat has finally gotten up the courage to venture downstairs and even though he doesn't much like people ... he likes me. I woke up because Little Trouble Kitty was trying to wrestle Eddie off of me. Nothing like a literal cat fight on your BELLY.. so I decided to go upstairs and sleep on the bed so there would be room for all of us. Wouldn't you know... they both stayed downstairs. Goofy cats.

You can tell that the local wildlife knows that the doggies have left the building. I watched a bunny and a beautiful deer hang out in the front forest this morning. They wouldn't do that with Oscar The Guard Dog in residence. I didn't get a decent picture of either.  I guess I should make sure Mr. Deer doesn't avail himself of the garden. Little Kitty is still stalking visiting with the squirrels on the front porch. He tapped on the window with his claws again today while one was on the bird feeder. Totally cracked me UP! Funniest cat ever. Besides pathetic Stubby the Three Legged Wondercat who waits on the counter for his food. Actually. The only reason we have cat food on the counter is because if it's on the floor the dogs eat it. I guess I could put it on the floor until the dogs come back and save Stubby from having to haul his fat belly up to the feeding trough.

Speaking of feeding trough...the kid came home today. Woohoo. I mean , "WOOOHOOO!!!" Lots more groceries being used today than yesterday. I had oatmeal for breakfast today and watermelon for lunch. Seriously. It's amazing that I can maintain my weight with as little as I eat some days... but then again, I make up for it by having gigantic bowls of ice cream at other times. The kid, likewise, will sleep for twelve hours and wake up famished and eat half the pantry in one sitting. There's a good bit of food here. A lot of ingredients, I should say. Nothing quick and easy, really, but that's ok. I could seriously live on watermelon. I just wish the tomatoes would start coming in. My body knows that it's tomato time and is wondering why I'm holding out on it.

For the rest of the day I have dinner, more TV watching ahead and then bed. And that was the seventh day. Captioned photos ahead:

 

Ok... see the gutter there on the deck past the screen porch? It's overflowing and the water is running down between the porch and the house and it's going into the ceiling of my bedroom. All it needs is for somebody to clean out the gutter.

Have a great week! Love and hugs!

The Sixth of July

Can you tell that I've grown weary of coming up with titles for blog entries? After 8 and a half years of blogging (yes, it's been THAT long!) I've used just about every cute and creative title I can think of. I thought of using the Friends episode format (The One With....) but every day it would be some variation of "The One  With Cat Pictures"... so we're doing this for now. Subject to change on my whim.

The parents and the goggies left town this morning and the kid is still off with his friend so it's just me and the cats today. "Just take those old records off the shelf... " As a result it's been super quiet here and I have loved every blessedly boring second of it. Having grown up as one of five kids and then immediately going into the mothering of three kids - I'm sort of like those people who lived through the Depression and as a result are extremely frugal - I'm never ever bothered by solitude. I consider it a reward for my years of living with chaos.

Meals for one are so easy! I made myself a batch of cranberry orange muffins for brunch and had leftover stir fry for dinner. I loaded the dishwasher... did a load of laundry... watched a lot of tv - Pollyanna, the news coverage of the airplane crash in San Francisco and a Big Bang Theory marathon. Yes, I'm living large. Envy me. No really.

My brother replaced the screen door on the screened porch and now we don't have to build a barricade for the cats to be able to go on the porch unsupervised. I let them sun themselves for most of the afternoon and they appeared to be grateful. I understand there is more rain to come and - again - one of those "surviving the Depression" things - although it's been quite a rainy week, I've lived through too many Georgia Summers to complain about mild temperatures in July, even if it comes with rain. I figured I should let the cats enjoy the sun while they can.

The rain has caused some leaking in my bedroom in the basement. I'm not using that room since my bed is in my parents room for now but I do have lots of books and photos and out of season clothes in there. A few photos got damp and some clothing got wet but otherwise, no real damage is done. It seems to be coming from clogged gutters on the main level of the house overflowing down the wall and coming in through onto the ceiling of the bedroom. I would take a picture to demonstrate but... it's dark.

I do have some cat pictures to share, of course.

 Little Kitty is looking out the window at a squirrel on the front porch. HA! I couldn't figure out how to get the video working on my camera in time to catch it but kitty was actually TAPPING on the window to get the squirrel's attention. It was hilarious! You can tell they're making eye contract.

 He was balanced between the couch and the window... quite the hunter... check out that concentration!

Can you tell he misses Mawmaw? He's laying on the couch like she usually does. He's been there for about two hours now.












And.... after standing strong and tall through a week of rain... Myrtle the Mushroom has left us.

It's a poor quality photo (because I was so grief stricken) but you can tell... she's flattened out. I'll have to find some other sort of wildlife to observe for entertainment. Or I could actually go into town and observe the natives. I don't know. I'm out of ice cream and deodorant and (Depression mentality) you don't want to be without either in the Summer. Of course... the cats don't mind how I smell as long as I keep the kibble coming. But I think a trip to town would be a good diversion. It would give me something to take photos of besides cats.

I will, of course, be obsessing over the Royal Baby who is due to arrive this week! Weee!

Anyways... so that's what's happening here on the Sixth of July. Hope you're having a great and safe holiday weekend! (except for Wendy in Oz who isn't having a holiday weekend... and in that case, I hope you're just having a great Sunday.)
Love and hugs!

The 2nd of July

No rain today but it's on the way. Mom worked on the yard without nearly enough assistance from my young professional x-boxer (which is different from being an ex-professional boxer) because it's going to be too wet the rest of the week and she's heading back to Riverdale on Saturday and will be gone for two weeks leaving the yard maintenance up to our less than enthusiastic gardener.

I went to the grocery store to stock up on necessities. We were poor hostesses when Aunt Ginger and Uncle Carl were here. I'm generally the one who does the cooking but only if I'm feeling up to par and that day, I was sub-par. Also. We just didn't plan well. Aunt Linda is coming tomorrow so I actually shopped and planned a bit. It's not exactly turning the mountain house into a Bed & Breakfast but there are things to eat with minimal effort. Stir fry chicken and veggies for dinner tomorrow night. I think our offers of hospitality need to come with the disclaimer that you want to schedule your visit for a time when Pop is here. Then you will be fed. Otherwise... you will have things like this...

 for dinner. Cantaloupe. Sweet, juicy, delicious cantaloupe. Trouble licked the juice afterwards. For lunch I had butter pecan ice cream with caramel sundae sauce. Just keeping it real. For breakfast we had lovely yogurt/fruit/granola parfaits drizzled with local honey. I have an odd, very sugar-full diet lately. I lean toward simple, clean, one ingredient type foods (the yogurt was fat free and greek) but I only want sweet stuff. I have also been snacking on bagel crisps since retiring to the Whine Cellar.


The most exciting thing that happened today was this....

 massive mushroom that is growing in our front yard. It's truly amazing. I took photos from the porch, down below (our front yard is a steep slope) and I went up to the top floor of the house and took pictures looking out the window like this...

 I'm just so fascinated by the fact that it's SOOOO large that it can be viewed from such a large distance.I'm hoping our Mellow Mushroom survives the next three days of torrential rain that is predicted. 

And I love the way the sunbeams shine down right in front of it... 

 In other news... Oscar the Security Dachshund decided that he needed to climb up on the stool (that is where I put my laptop when I'm upstairs during the day since we don't really have a table nearby for me to put it on)...He's watching my mom with the weed eater in the front yard. I just thought he looked so cute here... 

So intense!

 Keeping close watch...















In other news... I got a call from the Social Security office today. They have sent me lots and lots of forms and they received them back from the post office "not at this address". She confirmed the address they used and it's the right address. I had noticed the other day that the mailman had a little card in the mailbox that said, "Grant Family only - all others return to sender" and it worried me some because our last name is GANT not GRANT - and from a legal standpoint, my name is DARBY. But I thought... surely... the little rural mail carrier instruction card we had to fill out listed the names of the people who should get mail here and I was listed - would supercede any little mailbox notes. Furthermore, when I closed my P.O. Box I did a change of address form to send mail from the P.O. Box to this address. We made a new note for in the mailbox and I called the local post office and gave a whiny little rant about how this is causing delays in the disability process which is no bueno! I know that God's timing is perfect and I will dwell on those happy thoughts instead of going down the stressful bumpy road that has me running out of money before disability is approved.

I struggled a bit with grocery shopping today. Had another bad dizzy spell. They seem to happen when I walk for any length of time, if my pain is exacerbated, if it's humid outside... I had hoped that it was detoxing from the neurontin that was causing the dizzy thing. Apparently not. Some of the other side effects that were attributed to the neurontin were things like not having muscle control over elimination... it's not a Depends situation... it's just that when it's time to go, it's hard getting things going... my concern, the last time I saw the neurologist (two years ago) was that this is the beginning of a loss of control over those things and he felt - at the time - that it was just a side effect of neurontin. But now I'm not taking the neurontin and it's not getting better. For that matter... despite not working... I still have pain every single day and some days it's worse than it was when I was working full time. This thing is progressive and it's progressing too far and too fast for my liking.

But ... for now... all I can do is just relax, keep breathing, live the best life I can, be grateful for my family and how well they take care of me... and love on this.... sweet little Trouble Kitty (he's sleepy here, not mad) ...

And cuddle up with little dogs who like to share my recliner....

He's covered up in my skirt. I had only a knee length skirt on so he had to relocate to the couch with Mawmaw because she has all his warm fuzzy blankets.








One more picture...

My adorable unemployed game playing  grass cutting (occasionally) mop head of a teen. Y'all, those of you who pray, will you join me in praying for guidance in his life, that he will find his way. He's not doing *bad* things (that I know of) he just has no real idea of what he wants to do with his life and how to get that ball rolling. He needs to learn to drive. He needs a job. He needs to figure out what kind of college or technical school he wants to go to. Aspergers makes this transitional time of life so. much. harder. Having no paternal influence or encouragement... having a mom who has limited ability to take him places and help him push through the boundaries that make this whole process so difficult. His small motor skills are horrible. His handwriting looks like a six year old did it. Everywhere he is asked to fill out an application, he feels like "what's the use". I'm going to try to get him back to the jobs program he was in last year... see if we can take applications away from the work place so that I can fill them out for him. I don't know. He's just lacking motivation and I'm not good at pushing him.

Anyways... that's what's happening here in Cleveland, GA on July 2, 2013. Hope you're all preparing for a great 4th! We have watermelon and hotdogs - we're all set!

Love and hugs!

bring the rain

It's raining. I guess this is the first time it's rained in the 12 days I've been in Georgia. Maybe not. It's the first time I remember it raining in the 12 days I've been in Georgia. I guess with the drought and all.... I didn't so much *notice* that it had not rained... but it seems like it hasn't. I've just been soaking up the perfect fall weather and not thinking about rain.

The blog I recommended last night, Bring the Rain, is named after a Christian song that I love.

"Bring The Rain"
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

I read the blog about Audrey Caroline last night and was so encouraged by the faith of her mother. I am acutely aware that suffering brings a unique opportunity for us to demonstrate our faith for those around us. Like the old saying, "Christians are like teabags - their real strength comes out in hot water". I pray that my suffering is for His Glory and I pray that there will be someone encouraged by my story.

I also pray for my husband.

Today Austin starts school here, in what I pray will be his LAST school change until he graduates. He has been in six schools in the past five years. That is simply not fair. I'm waiting until daylight to take him as I still get a little bit turned around, even in this small town! There are four options leading off the town square and I always end up taking the wrong road. But the good thing... the really good thing... is that I can always turn around and go back to the right road. The further I travel down that wrong road, the longer it takes to get back and get where I'm going... but it's never too late.

It's never too late.