My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

In every life... there's some reason for joy!

Adrian Burdick Biggs, born 4/16/12, 6lbs 8.8oz

I wanted to start the day with a picture of my new grand-nephew Adrian. His mom, Tiffany, is my younger brother Michael's daughter. They live in the Nashville area. Adrian is Tiffany's second boy (bless her heart!) joining Ethan James who just turned 4.

And so... now it's Tuesday. I got up early this morning, trying to stay on a "normal" schedule... ran a brush through my hair and put on a little makeup. My friend Barbie told me yesterday that when you look in the mirror and feel good about yourself, you boost your immune system for FOUR HOURs! I've been sort of living from the perspective of "why waste the mascara?" and I've decided that it's not a waste if it makes me feel pretty. I think I'm gonna glam every day, I mean, if it helps my immune system, right?

I've been working really hard at not dwelling on the whole unemployment appeal thing... reminding myself that I never thought I'd get it in the first place and if the decision is reversed, it just means that my suspicions were correct. I decided that I would devote a little time every morning to think back through things, review the documents again, brainstorm and make sure I have as much information as possible for my hearing. That's what I did this morning and it worked well for me. I thought of a few more details... was able to make some notes and when I was done... I closed the folder and put it away for the day. 

I'm no mental health expert (unless being crazy counts) but I know that for me, it's better that I not allow myself to become obsessed or overwhelmed with any one situation. I think when people get depressed it's because they're OPPRESSED by a situation that crowds out any joy from their life. I really have a good life and a beautiful family and a lot of really precious friends that have stood beside me for years. There are so many things that hold my interest, so much love and encouragement in my world. I'm determined to allow myself to be happy. It seems like people think they have to stay in a place of mourning when things aren't going right in their life. Any life - every life - will always have some reason for worry or stress or disappointment, if not today, then in the past or the future. You can flip that perspective around, though, and realize that every life has some reason for joy.

I was facebooking with a friend yesterday about how, as mommies, we tend to make our entire purpose in life be about our children. Now that I am a mom of adults (mostly) ... I've seen how flawed that attitude can be. In the same way that you can't expect a partner to be your entire source of happiness and well-being - nobody can live up to that kind of responsibility - you can't put that kind of responsibility on your kids. Think about how you felt as a teenager... who were the LAST people you wanted to hang out with? YOUR PARENTS! (not me, of course!) It's hard to lose the day-to-day interaction with your kids when they grow up but the pay-off is having well-adjusted, happy, adults that you have contributed to the world... your legacy... your pride and joy. I think from the time they're able to roll over and crawl and hold their own bottle... you start the process of letting go. I struggle with anxiety any time Austin is out of my sight. I just want to protect him from any bad decisions he might possibly make... but i can't. The umbilical cord gets cut at birth... it's not a slinky to pull them back to you if they stray too far. The best feeling in the world is when your kids spend time with you because they want to, not because you guilt them into it. 

I took the kid to school this morning and then made a Walmart run. I love Walmart in the early morning! I walked around for a bit and felt pretty good... then came home and picked up a little... and now I'm worn out! I can't seem to find that happy medium between being a slug and overdoing things. But I'm grateful that I can do whatever I want to do today! The bills are paid and there's food for the kid and the kitties and... it's just a good day to be me! 

Hope you're having a great Tuesday! Love and hugs!