My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Friday, February 15, 2013

Trash or Treasure

Pajama Friday! Wooohooo! Me and mama are both off today so we slept until nearly 8am. It meant that I missed part of my early morning tv watching but I'm really ok with that. Small sacrifice.

I used to watch the Today Show but when they squeezed Ann Curry out in such an ugly way, I couldn't help but take it personally, having been there myself... you know... the "ratings" are bad... find someone to blame it on, something similar to that... now when I see the Today Show I see a toxic workplace. Nobody wants to start their day watching a toxic workplace. Good Morning America and Fox and Friends are both much more loving, fun, easy environments to watch. I particularly appreciate the way that Good Morning America has supported Robin Roberts during her illness. They didn't just toss her out because she wasn't physically as strong as she once was.

It reminds me that one man's trash is another man's treasure. We really do have to keep the perspective that just because one relationship doesn't work out, it doesn't mean that you're banned from all future similar situations. When you feel like trash... you start to see yourself as worthless, it's easy to give up and just wait to be disposed of. You aren't inspired to find a new situation because you buy into one man's (person's, organizations, whatever) perspective of your value.  In a situation where you're seen as a treasure instead of trash, you are inspired to raise up to their perspective of you. You have the courage to be who you really are, you have the freedom to do bigger and better things.

There are about thirty eleven situations that I've followed on Facebook of people who found love again after years and years of a wrong relationship - or a series of wrong relationships. Watching people go into relationships with the knowledge and experience of failed relationships - not carrying the old stuff as baggage but treating it as an education,  as preparation for their happily ever after - I think it's just beautiful.

It's no secret that I don't have any warm fuzzy feelings leftover for my boys' dad... I just basically, to be very blunt, don't have any use for him. He didn't do what I needed him to do as a partner and I just figured out other ways to fill those gaps. All that ended years and years ago. But now he's in a relationship with a girl that I grew up with, a girl that in any other relationship I would be giving her high fives and celebrating with her that she is in a happy relationship - because they are, or at least appear to be - happy. It's sort of awkward. But you know what? Just because he wasn't who *I* needed him to be doesn't mean he's not who she's needs him to be.

And the good part... the other day I was thinking about the future, when I finally get to be a grandma (not that I'm rushing anyone, don't get me wrong, I want my kids to become parents when they're ready to be good parents and not a single day before) but I realized that if my friend continues to be with my kids' dad, she will be a step-grandmama to my grandbabies and it really made me feel good to know that she and I would share a mutual interest in the lives of my future grandbabies.

And I'll add a disclaimer that I would have been happy with the lady he was previously in a long term relationship being a step-granny to my babies too... but for an equation that I have zero input in, it's sort of nice to know that someone I have such a long history with - and her family that my family has such a long relationship with - will be a part of Ryan Jr or Cody Jr or Austin Jr's life.

My wardrobe is another great example of turning trash to treasure. I get a lot of compliments on my work outfits. About 90% of my work stuff is hand-me-downs or thrift store finds. Just because someone else didn't see a way for it to work doesn't mean I won't.

I love antiques... and old houses for the same reason. Just knowing that these things have a history, a back story, a time where they were once treasured possessions that brought some measure of purpose into someone's life.

I love ancestors... even the ones that are long since dead and gone leave a legacy just waiting to be discovered. Learning the "begats" are nice but it's so much sweeter to learn an anecdote or interesting fact about someone who came before me.

I guess the trick is having the imagination to believe great things, to see beyond the obvious, to let go of the "trash" in your life with good wishes and the best intentions for it and to learn to recognize the treasures around you.. Just because you don't want it doesn't mean that it can't be rehabilitated. And if you're the trash in someone's life, it doesn't mean you can't be rehabilitated too.

I'll close this blog entry by wishing you a very happy Half Priced Chocolate Day. I made a trip to Rite Aid this morning and stocked up on Lindt Truffles, Hershey's Kisses and Hershey's Kisses with Almonds. Oh. And a big stuffed teddy bear at half off... because he was meant to be somebody's sweet little Valentine's gift and I wanted him to be able to fulfill his destiny by being mine.

Love and hugs, y'all.


Fat Free JAM said...

great post...good reminders for me too!