Random Thursday

It's thankful Thursday and two weeks before Thanksgiving... so I'm going to give this whole "positive thinking" thing a spin. I'm trying. I'm going to just list out some things that are heavy on my heart and trust God to turn them into positives... I'm determined...

Work hasn't been going great for me lately. There's always someone who is the "odd man out" and lately that's been me. I don't engage in a lot of the chatter that goes on... God has really burdened my heart about not participating in gossip or in putting people down. I've been working hard at that... and that leaves me out of some of the bonding that goes on. But I've decided that I can't be sincere in my Christian walk as long as I'm hurting other people with the things I say.

Now... the frustration in that comes from being so sincere at heart in trying to do the best I can for everyone and still having people get upset with you for things that you thought were helpful or constructive or kind. The older I get, the less I understand how people tick. I haven't given up though. My job has always required prayer. At every job. In every trade. Prayer for success, for positive interaction with clients and co-workers. For appropriate compensation. God meets my needs.

Health wise... this week has been a flash back of just about every illness I've faced in the past year. Congestion. Headaches. Earaches. Upset stomach. You name it! Even my pinkie toe has hurt. I think it's mostly stress related and honestly.... I think it's partly a spiritual thing. I'm working hard at pushing through when I can and yet balancing that with allowing myself rest when I need. God is good. I'm trusting him to be my healer.

Austin has been sick too. He's worn out. He's not sleeping well. He's made a lot of friends around here and he wants to go-go-go. I think it's tiring for him, though, the extra stimulation. He manages his autism so well that most of the time I forget he even has it. Until he gets back home and curls up in his favorite tv watching spot and I know... he's had enough. He will get frustrated by loud sounds or bright light. He's overcome so much... I'm proud of him.

Have I mentioned that child support is still really spotty? Robert is out of work again/still. I have been praying - and I asked some friends to pray as well - that I would have a Godly response to the situation. Yes, he owes. Yes, he should pay. God knows that it would make things much easier for us. Yet... in Isaiah it says that "the Lord your maker is your husband" and I am a living testimony of that. All of these financial gaps keep being met. It works. Yesterday Robert sent me an email that he is still out of work and struggling. I felt burdened to pray for his financial stability. It's not really up to me to figure out how sincere he is in his job search ... I figured it would be easier to just pray for God to bless him and trust God to burden his heart to do the right thing by Austin.

When austin was a brand new baby there was a sweet little girl at our church named Joy who was ten years old at the time. She LOVED Austin. She had the opportunity to bond with him fairly early because Cody was in the hospital when Austin was three weeks old and Joy's family helped care for Ryan and Austin. I had a baby carrier and Joy loved to wear it and carry Austin around like her little living baby doll. She was so sweet with him... Yesterday Joy had her own baby! She's 25 now (I think) and she gave birth to a little baby girl. It made me feel like life had been fastforwarded...

My anxiety is at the greatest it's been since I moved here. I think it's fearing the holidays ahead - there's so much pressure to buy and I can't afford to- there's the pressure of family obligations and I feel so distant from my family that it is uncomfortable for me. I really grieve for those who are missing and not a part of things. I grieve for my children who have grown up and moved past our traditions. I grieve for others who are lonely and depressed at the holidays... too much is expected and it drains so many resources that I don't have. I need to start a support group for people who feel the same way...

Last Thanksgiving was nice, though, in that I got to spend a lot of time with a cousin that I don't see often... I got to have breakfast with my friend, Mary.... there were good things. Christmas stunk... I was so broke and really stressing over even having enough for Austin and I to have a decent Christmas dinner. Seriously... one day we'll look back on it and laugh... but the ONE place we found open up here was a high priced chinese restaurant and I only had enough money for us to split an entree... and of course, everyone SPLURGES on Christmas so the waiter looked at me like I was a reject from the Hosea Feed the Hungry and Homeless dinner. Bah Humbug!

Anyways... I have not forgotten how far I've come. These are light and momentary troubles. There is beauty all around me. There is a lot of love and kindness in this world. God continues to meet every need - financial, emotional, physical - and although I don't have my "happily ever after" .... I have my daily bread and I have hope. I am continuing to learn that all blessings are from above. I don't have to trust in any person... any situation... God will meet my needs wherever and however I am.

Just keep us in your prayers... and if you know someone in your orbit that may be having a difficult time this year, show them a little extra consideration. Love and hugs to all of you!

ugh. whiny. wednesday.

I just didn’t want to move this morning. I did. I got up and dragged my reluctant self to work. I don’t feel great. Nothing major or earth shattering… little bit of an earache… little bit of a headache… a little nauseated… probably all stress related. Not that I’m incredibly stressed about anything. Nor am I completely at peace. Ambivalent enough for you?

Yesterday I went home early. More stomach issues. There’s a stomach flu going around the office. I wasn’t violently ill. Just ill enough that I felt like I was a risk to get others sick and/or embarrass myself. I watched the memorial service from Fort Hood and my heart was both warmed and broken… watching the young military families gathered… lots of really young faces with lots of little kids… we don’t often get a realistic picture of our servicemen and women… that was more realistic than I wanted. I was proud of them and for them. I know behind every sweet young face is a worried mom…

I’m really angry about the whole deal at Fort Hood. Those thirteen people were killed by political correctness. We have put ourselves in a place where we bend over backwards not to offend anyone… even those who are wrong, evil, dangerous… we have silenced those who might be courageous enough to speak up for what is right because they risk public persecution. Right is now wrong and wrong is right and to say otherwise brands you as intolerant or a hatemonger. Why is it hateful to love what is just, right, pure, Godly?

It was interesting to me yesterday to hear people use scripture, sing Amazing Grace, call on the name of Jesus for mercy in that time of grieving. Jesus is excluded from every decision our nation is making right now. I’m reminded of the nation of Israel… they would call out to Jesus whenever they got into trouble and return to their idols when they no longer “needed” Him.

I found out yesterday that my 86 year old grandmother had fallen and hurt herself the day before and was at the hospital. I got an email from my friend Amy who works for my uncle asking how she was doing… I replied that I didn’t know and asked if she knew something I didn’t. Not that I am in a position to do anything… but maybe I am and would love to be in the position to decide for myself if I could be there for her, instead of being excluded from the information. At the very least I could pray… It was hurtful to get that information third hand like that but not surprising. This is what I have been dealing with for quite some time. I’m not going to dwell on it now because I’m trying to stay at work all day… and those sort of things put me in a bad place mentally. I have learned to overlook and ignore those sort of things. I am powerless to change others. I only have power over my response. My response is that I have a lot more to offer than what I get credit for and if people choose to overlook my value then it is their loss. I also know that the hand of God reaches beyond what I can control. Nothing is a surprise to Him. I know that He was watching over her even without my knowledge of the situation or my input. Just as I know He watches over all my loved ones that are beyond my reach.

So let’s talk about the weather or something. The rain from Hurricane/Tropical Storm Ida has finally stopped. It rained for 36 hours straight! The sun is just now starting to break through. With the time change it is dark here by 6pm – when it’s overcast it’s dark at 5pm. I am not loving the dark. Last night I was asleep before 9pm. I may shoot for even earlier tonight. We have church tonight but I have a feeling that I’m not going to feel like doing anything… days like today take so much energy… it’s hard to sell stuff to people when you don’t have energy or enthusiasm in your voice. I’m trying… I’ve kept my nose to the grindstone today, avoided any personal conversations because that takes too much energy… I’ve kept a spirit and attitude of prayer and just let God lead me where He needs to today. Literally… on Jesus Take The Wheel mode…

And can I just say that I am glad I made the decision not to let Austin have a pig? I don’t think there’s been a day in the past week that I haven’t had to feed his cat. I would be soooo aggravated if I was having to go down to the ag center and “slop hogs” for him. Lord have mercy.

Happy Whiny Wednesday, y’all…

healing broken hearts

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead

Hmmm. Hold that thought for a second.

Monday is flying by.

Ok. Not really. But it’s going faster than I thought it would, which is only fair because the weekend sure went by fast.

Austin is sick with a cold. I have a nasty earache. (Yes, we’re back to the ear again.) I’m congested but in denial… as if I could DECIDE to not have anything else settle in my chest. Over the weekend I had horrible sinus headaches and was OUT of my headache meds… got those refilled today. Got all my meds refilled today.

I’m tired. I tried to just spend the weekend resting. It’s bad in one aspect because it makes me feel so disconnected from the rest of the world… it’s what I needed to do, though, to make it through the week. I wish it was a “snap out of it” kind of tired but it’s deeper than that. I don’t know how to explain it… but I definitely feel it. I’ve been pushing it today… kinda keeping in the back of my mind that if I need to go, I could go. It’s close enough to the end of the day now that I know I can make it.

That verse… that’s from Phillipians 3:13. That was from my bible study today. ACTUALLY… I worked ahead a little bit in my bible study for tomorrow and found that. It’s a good reminder… forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead.

Hearing Rihanna’s interview with Dianne Sawyer Friday night was … well, it was interesting. I won’t try to quote her but basically she talked about having to forgive herself for choosing to be with Chris Brown. Did you know that on average a woman will allow herself to be beaten 8 or 9 times before she leaves? Why? A good friend said something to me early on in my relationship with Michael that has stuck with me… “If someone shows you who they are believe them – the first time.”

A friend from high school recently found herself in a relationship with another high school classmate of ours. Turned out, he was a total con. I don’t know all the details but I know he served time in jail in the past and I know that she had to meet with the police regarding things he did to her. I don’t think he physically hurt her but I believe he may have stolen from her. I know for sure that he shook her faith in mankind… or “men-kind”…

I think that’s what angers me – even still, about my situation, that Michael robbed me of things that I can’t get back – such as blind faith in people. I’m much more cynical. Jaded. Bitter. He robbed me of precious time with my children – Cody’s senior year. Even with all the good – he made it bad. I always wanted to travel. I went places with him that I might not ever have gotten to by myself – but my memories of all of those places are tainted by the stress… the fears… the fights… the ugliness. Even the most beautiful vacation destination is hell on earth if you’re with someone who treats you unkindly.

I think – no, I know- in my case I genuinely hoped for the best and I think we all do when we’re in love.

I watched the Kardashian wedding on tv last night. I know… mindless… reality tv…. I didn’t watch the whole thing, I switched back and forth to the Amazing Race. I just couldn’t shake the urge to scream at the tv, “you can’t know a person in a month!”. At that point there are still so many skeletons lurking in the closet.

If it seems like I’m rambling it’s because this has been an often interrupted entry… but time is flying today… I’ll be tucked in my nest in T-minus two hours and counting!

Ok… that’s it for today… be sure to keep baby Stellan in your prayers… www.mycharmingkids.net - and his family. That baby has a REAL broken heart, not just a metaphoric one.

There’s so much hurt and heartache in the world… makes you realize just how fortunate you are… makes me realize how fortunate I am… I’ve just got a couple of bruises, maybe a scar or two… but my heart will heal. I’ve already healed so much… love and hugs, y’all!

counting down...

9 hours until the weekend.

Had a great drive into work this morning. It was beautiful – frost covering everything.
It’s casual Friday and I’m in jeans… turtle neck… cable knit sweater… penny loafers… looking like an ad for Old Navy Plus sizes. Of course, this office has two temperatures: too hot or too cold. I’ll be peeling off layers before long, I’m sure.

Yesterday afternoon work came to a stop for about ten minutes while we watched a deer eating grass in a field across the street from the office. So peaceful.

I’ve spent a lot of time in prayer over the past two days. “Meditation” for those of you who aren’t bible thumpers. It’s helping. I’m feeling much less overwhelmed. Much more peace.

You know how sometimes you KNOW people are talking about you behind your back? I’ve had that feeling this week. It had me really stressed out, discouraged.

Then I realized a few things:
1. Bitterness is a cancer that destroys it’s host.
2. I haven’t done anything worthy of being maligned. They're just giving someone else a break.
3. God is my protector and provider. Words can’t hurt me. Not really. They only have as much power as I give them. If I am secure in who I am and steadfast in doing what’s right… then those words mean nothing in the scheme of eternity. Not for me. Only for them… And in a way, it’s an opportunity for me to show what’s different about me. I’m not defined by the whispers behind my back… I’m defined by who I am in Christ. I know that I have the power. Power (capital P) to turn what is meant for my harm into something that is used for my good.

I know that there are eyes on me… I know people watch what I do and I know there are some who see my journey as inspirational. So any opportunity to turn a negative into a positive can potentially impact others. That doesn’t make me any more excited about living through it. I need peace in my life.

The natives are restless here at the Farm today. D is at a funeral so the folks in the back of the office are up here visiting with the folks in the front of the office. I have a big appointment at 10am to do a few cars and a home policy so I’m keeping my game face on and trying to prepare.
I need to renew my license. It was supposed to be done before November 1st. Ugh. No I have to pay a late fee. What’s new? I think I pay more on late fees than I do on food.

Remember the pinkie toe that I broke that kept jumping out and bumping into things for the next year after that. OH that toe aggravated the stew out of Michael! I was forever bruised up. Last night that same little toe starting hurting but this time… there was no impact to it. Just all of a sudden… it hurt. It still hurts. It’s always something.

Eight and a half hours.
Next Friday is the 13th. Ryan's friend Joshy and his wife are coming up to do some insurance!

How sad were those shootings at Ft. Hood?

There are a few things that will ALWAYS make me cry:
1. Reading the book, “I’ll Love You Forever”… which my children refer to as “the crying book”. 2. Extraordinary achievements by ordinary people.
3. Soldiers returning from war.
I think #3 is because my kids’ grandfather didn’t return from Vietnam. I’m always conscious of how different his son (my kids’ dad) would have been if he had survived. There is a generational impact that occurs with these things. Such a tragedy! Men who have fought and survived to come home only to die on base. I thought “base” meant you were safe. It does in baseball. It does in tag. This is another in a long line of examples of folks not doing what they ought to be doing and the result being innocent people suffer. He was a known threat. Instead of being fired, removed… court marshaled… whatever they do… he was promoted and moved to a place where he could be a greater danger. Whoever was responsible should have to attend every funeral, visit every injured person and apologize for gross neglect of duty. It’s insane. Truly insane.

When I was serving my mandatory three day term in the nut house last fall there was a young soldier that was in there for anger management issues. Again – great idea – put a bunch of folks who are considered a risk to harm themselves and others- into lockdown with a guy considered too angry and mean for combat. I called him, “Angry Boy”. I never bothered to learn his name – I had too many other things to worry about. I called him that to his face- “Hey- Angry Boy – do you want to paint with us?” that sort of thing. He was just a kid – maybe 19. In one group therapy session (you had to attend every possible session to be considered for release so I complied, even though it was a total waste of my time and I spent more time counseling others than being counseled) in one session he got upset with a guy who was detoxing from crack – yes, this was a lovely place, indeed!- a HUGE black guy who was obviously not in his right mind – and he tried to stab the crack guy in the neck with a pencil. I looked around to see if this was SERIOUSLY happening… and it was… and the psychologist kept using her “gentle words” to encourage him not to harm others. It’s funny now. Honestly, it was a little funny then but I was also pretty well medicated and mellow. It took a few of the other “patients” to calm Angry Boy down. I just watched. I figured as much as I had survived at that point, if I died as collateral damage in a pencil fight then it was meant to be. Give an Angry Boy a pencil -yet I couldn’t have an underwire bra- go figure.

Anyways…
Eight hours to go.

Not that I’m wishing my life away… I’m just ready for the weekend! Nothing – not a single durn thing – on the agenda for tomorrow. Sunday we have a putt-putt outing after church. That will make Austin happy. He loves putt-putt.

You wouldn’t believe how many people come in here to pay and ask, “who do I make the check to?” Um. Publix? Where are you? Why is this so difficult?

In “Cat’s Away” news… seems like I’m the only one answering the phone today. Of course, I’m also typing this – but it only takes short bursts of time as I type REALLY fast. *snicker* At least I’m at my desk and not keeping other people from working or causing other people to have to do my job. I’m just sayin’….

My pinkie toe really hurts.

Hey! It’s almost noon! One long appointment later and by the time I finish up the paperwork it will five and a half hours to go! And an hour of that is lunch! That was a great appointment for me… three cars, a house, a boat. Good people…nice to talk to… glad to be moving to our company.

Why is the heat set on 72? I’m about to have a heat stroke. My heat at home is set on 64. It came on this morning. That’s enough to keep the chill off but not have the heat run nonstop.
My scanner keeps grabbing papers crooked and crumpling them up. Argh! Gonna post this novel so I don’t lose it during lunch. More later, maybe.

just a few things to be thankful for

Trying to rebound from a particularly trying Whiny Wednesday. Nothing major, just a lot of minor things that add up and stress me out. I pushed through and went to church last night and was so. Very. Glad. I did. My hen party/bible study was great and exactly what I needed to get through the rest of this week. I understand that church isn’t for everyone – and that some people are “Home Churched” and that organized religion seems restrictive and judgmental and harsh to some. I’m definitely guilty of needing a pajama Sunday here and there. But when I go, it’s good. It makes me feel plugged in with my community and that’s something that’s incredibly vital for me. Squeezing in some quality time with Jim, Angie and the girls – even if it is on fast forward – also helps.

So… my first item on my Thankful Thursday agenda is my church – Helen First Baptist. If you are ever in Helen and you want to stop in, you’ll find me on the second row, third chair in… although my hen party ladies are threatening to sit there just to throw me out of my comfort zone. I replied that it would move them from THEIR comfort zone… having me in their lap thru the entire service. Creature of habit, you know?

Item number 2 on the agenda – I’m thankful for human kindness. I play this online game – superpoke pets – and it’s a bit of an addiction/hobby for me. Like most online games… you can win points or “coins” for playing OR you can buy “gold” with real money. Obviously I’m not in a position to waste money buying stuff for a cyber pet when my own pet is going without the premium stuff himself. But yesterday this complete stranger spent $15-20 on gold items for my pet. It was just really sweet and I was so blue… it turned my day around. Sometimes just a touch of human kindness goes a long way. A long, long way.

I’m thankful today for the availability of fresh fruit at fast food restaurants. My fruit and yogurt parfait at McDonalds. Apple “fries” at Burger King. Banana at Sonic. So that even when I’m too tired to actually shop for produce… I can always grab some on the run. That’s number 3.

Number 4 - I still love my hairdo. Love. Love. Love my hair. Maybe that’s vanity. Ok, definitely it’s vanity. But unless you’re a girl with naturally curly hair you can’t appreciate the struggle to tame the wild beast every day. It’s so much easier now. I love the length, I love how it feels... I love getting compliments on it! Makes me feel so pretty!

Number 5 – Not sure if this is ready for public announcement yet but my sister-in-law – Dr. Angie Gant – is being promoted to chairman of her department at the college where she works which – among other things – means that she is now her husband’s boss – at least at the college. She works so hard and she’s good at what she does. She worked really hard to get that doctorate too, and it’s good to see it paying off for her. I’m really proud of her! This doesn’t take effect until the next school year but she will assume some duties starting in January.

Time to wrap this up and start hitting the phones again. Hope you’re all having a great day and that you can find a few things in your own life for which you are thankful! Love and hugs!

whiny wednesday

It’s Wednesday already! How’d that happen?

Well… you go home exhausted from adjusting to the time change… and you have a little tummy trouble (details of which I’ll spare you) and spend Tuesday curled up in a painful ball in your pepto bismol pink recliner… then you come in to work to find out that for some reason your cash box has been converted to one third COINS… when you normally keep an amount that is appropriate for the amount of business you do… and stay pissed off all morning over it… and then all of a sudden you realize that your work week is half over… in the blink of an eye…

And so here we are at Whiny Wednesday! Thanks for playing along!

I was supposed to have lunch today with Crunch & Munch… don’t get all excited… just an “old friends catching up” sort of thing. He is supposed to be off on Wednesdays… then he ended up having to work so that has been postponed.

Instead I’m going to run out and grab something quick and cheap- even though I had promised myself I would be bringing from home to save money. See… what happened was… we have had so much rain that we have an overabundance of flies… and some itty bitty flies got into my bread – both loaves – even though neither loaf had been opened yet – and I haven’t had the opportunity to purchase more bread. THEN… I was going to bring a lean cuisine to eat and I got in a rush at the last minute this morning and forgot it. I almost forgot my meds… which would have been a bigger issue… and in my rush to go back and take the meds, I forgot to grab something out of the freezer.

I thought about just fasting today. Seriously. We’re doing this big study on prayer and I’m really excited about becoming a better/more disciplined prayer warrior because I so thoroughly believe that prayer changes things. I think that even IF prayer doesn’t change the circumstances, it goes a long way toward changing your perspective. You simply cannot make yourself vulnerable before the Creator in honest supplication and not feel differently. Even if all you’ve done is take a few minutes to clear your mind and meditate… it helps.

Lunch ended up being a veggie sub and a trip to pay my internet/phone/satellite bill. Yee haw. I was going to pick something up for Jessie’s birthday (Jim and Angie’s adopted daughter) but it took too long to do those two things… so I found a funny and very inappropriate card and modified it with sharpie marker to make it appropriate because I KNOW Jessie will appreciate that.

The veggie sub was $2.94. Not exactly a splurge. And my appetite is weird right now… still have a little bit of a sore throat, nothing tastes right and my tummy is still less than 100% so I didn’t eat it all.

Yesterday I ate pretty much nothing except sweetarts. I don’t know why. You’d think I’d gorge on chocolate. Nope. Sweetarts. Or that I would not eat at all..

Just a little over two hours left in my work day… then home to Cleveland, a trip to the gas station, church and back home around 8pm. Still a lot of hours left in my day but I’m determined to remain out and about among the 3-dimensional people today. Even if my head hurts, my throat hurts, my tummy hurts, my wrist hurts… I’m not going to sit home tonight.

This is sort of a big deal for me because lately I’m feeling closed off and isolated. I think depression manifests itself in different ways. For me, I just want to be left alone. I blog less, answer fewer emails, make fewer status updates… it’s easier to not deal with people at all than to feel less than my usual charming self. And with that...

Ok… got a lot to do. Love and hugs y’all!

rambling monday

I have a sore throat.
Let me go ahead and get that out because if I don’t, I’m going to be thinking about it the whole entry.
It’s a new sore throat. It started out as just feeling sort of thirsty. It hurt to swallow my little lean cuisine lunch…
I don’t really have any other symptoms… other than being tired but it’s Monday and the time changed. But time changed in a good way – to give us more time. Other than the fact that I’ll be driving home in the dark every evening… at least I know my way around here now and I won’t have to try to go scary places on unnamed roads when I can’t see where I’m going.
I guess I do have a few other symptoms. My nose is stuffy. I’m not coughing but I keep bringing up slime. Ugh. I know, TMI. Sorry.
I was a backslidden Christian again yesterday and skipped church. I just couldn’t move. I wanted to stay in my pjs in my recliner. I napped in the middle of the day.
And I was a little bit blue… it was a year ago yesterday that Misty, my stepson’s mom died. I still play the “what if” game. I still think about sitting on a blanket in the bright hot June sunlight with Misty when everything with Michael was still brand new… when she asked if I would take care of Bobby if anything happened to her. I remember laughing and saying, “nothing is going to happen…” People know, I think.
Technically he is no longer my stepson. Legally he still is but I haven’t seen him – or Michael – in a year as of Thursday. Or Stephen. This was the last “anniversary” that I had to get thru. She was buried on November 5th.
I wouldn’t say that I’m depressed over it. Reflective. Contemplative. It still makes me sad, I guess it always will. Not just that she died and left three little kids behind. But that Michael and I didn’t have a strong enough relationship for me to have been able to be there for her in the way she had wanted. In some ways I feel like I let Misty down.
But I also know that Misty, better than anyone, knew what I was dealing with. She was such a great support for me in those days between the time I left florida and the time she died. She worried about me. She offered me a cellphone. She wanted to help me through what she knew was a rough transition.
So. Yeah. What if?
What if she and Michael had stayed together and instead of having three baby daddies, there was just one? What if he and I had never met? How much of my life would I wish back to the time before Michael? My weight, for sure! My confidence. My independence. My salary.
But… would I trade what I have now, where I have it?
I had an epiphany about my weight the other day… while I was flailing around like a turtle on its back trying to get out of the recliner without using my injured arm. Oh, I didn’t mention hurting my wrist did I? no big deal. Just another little ache and pain.
I worked so hard to be thin… to discover the “me” inside the big girl. And then I got wounded. And I think there is a subconscious reluctance to be thin again. As if thin = vulnerable. As if – if I allowed myself to be that thinner, more energetic, attractive person that there would be another Michael lurking around who could possibly wound me again. And who knows if I would survive another him?
I didn’t know Misty that well but I know that she went through a lot of relationships in the time I knew her. She was married, then divorced, then living with someone, then living with someone else, then engaged, then broke up, then living with someone and having his baby. She never recovered from Michael either. She spent the rest of her life with instability. That makes me sad. Both for her… and for me.
My body thinks it’s almost time to go home. I have another hour and then some.
We’re having hamburger helper for dinner. Austin is doing the ground beef before I get home so it will be quicker.
Gosh. My throat really hurts.