My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Itty Bitty Ferocious Kitty

Isn't he a love?

Have I mentioned lately how much we LOVE Itty Bitty Kitty? He is such a ferocious little cuddly ball of fur.

I love to watch him play. He can turn just about anything into a toy/prey. (such as my straightening iron which got destroyed this week)

His favorite is empty toilet paper rolls. He waits eagerly for me to play fetch with him while I’m going potty.

He’s so curious about everything that happens in the bathroom… he can finally climb up on the toilet so he’s been fishing lately. I’m usually into water conservation (if it’s yellow, let it mellow…) but I’ve had to either flush or close the lid to keep him from piddling in piddle water.

He has a habit of bringing me little treasures… last night it was a tag from a pair of Smurf sleep pants that Austin got for Christmas. Who knows where he found it… but he was so proud to drop that little paper smurf at my feet. He is particularly fond of my hairbows. Those are his PRIZED catches. He’s so proud of them that he makes sure he brings them right up to my face so I can see how accomplished he is.

He loves bedtime. Both kitties know that when my light goes out it’s time for “kitty night-night”… and that they’ll both get petted until I fall asleep. They eagerly take their places snuggled up beside me. Michael asked me once – not too long after we split up – if he had been replaced by a cat. I was offended then – too soon – as if I had any choice in the alienation of his affection. But the truth is… yeah… he has been. And they make much more loyal and loving companions than he ever did.

They know what time I get up in the morning and if Bitty Kitty thinks I’m sleeping too late he will put his paws on my eyelids to try to pry them open. If that doesn’t work he’ll start licking my face. He’s just rotten.

BK thinks someone is supposed to cuddle him when he’s sleepy. He’ll find me or Austin or Big Kitty and cozy up to us for a little affection.

He wants to mimic everything I do. When I pet Stubby, he takes his little paw and tries to do it exactly the same way. When I make coffee, he tries to find a way to get up on the counter so he can see what I’m up to. Usually I cook one handed so I can hold him. He loves being high enough to see what’s going on.

He’s learned that when I put on shoes, I’m leaving for the day. I tell both cats the same thing every day, “I’m a bye-bye mommy and you’re both stay-at-home kitties” and I give them their itinerary for the day, “you just find a patch of sunlight and rest until mommy and the Boy get home”. Now he has decided that if he can get in the shoe with me, he can go with me. This morning we fought over my tennis shoes. It’s hard to tie a shoelace with a kitten at the other end.

He’s just such a precious baby… I’m totally smitten with my kitten.

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Chickfila in Cleveland

Garmin doesn't always know best. Every time we would put in Chickfila... it would show a location about 15 minutes from our home. I knew this couldn't be true... but last night, for my birthday... I really wanted Chickfila. So... I decided to let Garmin lead me... even though it seemed a rather remote area that it pointed... like the time it showed Ryan there was a Dunkin Donuts two miles out in the ocean off the New Jersey coast. Well... maybe those Chickfila cows are in cahoots with Garmin because when I got to the location... this is what I saw. This is ALL I saw!

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so far... not loving 42

So far I'm not loving 42.
Yesterday at work there was a little situation that got me upset... and once I got started crying, I couldn't stop. I left to take a drive and clear my head and calm down and got hit with a migraine. I fought the migraine all day... remember, I'm avoiding prescription drugs as much as possible so I didn't go home and pop my usual migraine eraser (which also erases my ability to function)... I went home, took some naproxen, got something to eat, closed my eyes and then decided to try again. As soon as I got into the sunlight, the pain came back so I went back to bed... covers over my head... slept for four hours and woke up feeling ok.
The migraine meds are ridiculously expensive - about $30 a pill. It's interesting to me that the headache went away with naproxen and sleep.
I wanted to go out for dinner but Austin wasn't up for it so I got a salad at the Ingles and bought a piece of red velvet cake for us to split.
It didn't rate among the best of birthdays.
I got lots of good wishes on Facebook, though, so that was nice.
My co-workers gave me a gift card because I wanted money to get my hair cut.
Grandma sent me a check.
I asked Angie and Jim for Weight Watchers for my birthday. Angie made lifetime last summer and has maintained beautifully. Weight Watchers has always been the most successful thing for me as long as I'm totally working it... going to meetings, etc. The meetings aren't cheap but if they get me started for a few meetings and I adjust my eating habits then I can funnel some grocery/eating out money toward Weight Watchers.
May is a ridiculously busy month for Angie, though, so it will be June before we go.
Austin forgot it was my birthday.
Ryan and Cody both called. Cody & Marquee will be up here on Saturday for premarital counseling with Jim.
Day 2 of 42 started with another headache... not as bad as yesterday, just a shadow where the headache was. That happens to me after migraines.
Farmville isn't working for me... I'm out of places to dig on Treasure Isle... so my social network gaming for this morning has been curtailed.
Watching the news makes me feel like the world's gone crazy. People are protesting the law in Arizona that says we have to enforce already existing immigration laws. To punish illegals for being illegal. And that's a problem because? I don't get it.
Gonna go make some coffee... slip into my jeans... and get this unruly 42 under control.
Happy Friday, y'all.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

thankful thursday birthday edition

I'm thankful for birthdays! They remind me of how many people are in my life. I got up to over 200 emails in my inbox this morning. That's just crazy!

I'm thankful that I've lived 42 years without ever getting a ticket, being at fault in an accident or going to jail.

I'm thankful that I've lived 42 years with all four limbs. A childhood friend of Ryan's just lost his leg in a motorcycle accident. He is 23.

I'm thankful that I've never had any major "cut from stem to stern" surgery. A couple of minor outpatient deals but nothing with my guts hanging out.

I'm thankful that I had my kids when I was young. I can't imagine having a baby at this stage of life. Yes, I compromised some other things to raise kids when I was young but it's a blessing now to have three (nearly) grown men who are on my team.

I'm thankful that I don't look my age. Yes, that's vain. I don't care. Living here in the country I see people who are my age who look twenty years older. I don't know if it's hard living or improper hygiene or what. I just got lucky. I have good genes.

I'm thankful to live in the time that I live. I'm thankful that we have the ability to reach out to people on the other side of the world. I'm thankful that we can travel long distances easily. I'm thankful for the knowledge that is easily available to us.

I'm thankful for every gray hair, every wrinkle, every scar. I've earned them. I'm not embarassed by them. I'm proud to have had the time I've had on earth, to have loved and hurt and experienced things that allowed me to grow.

I'm thankful to know what I know... to have been exposed to sports, arts, religion, politics... I'm grateful for everything that I have been exposed to in my life. I know enough to be comfortable in just about any environment. I'm not out of place in the nicest restaurant but I'm not too good to sit down at a picnic table outside of a roadside bbq stand.

I'm thankful to have loved and been loved. There have been heartaches and heartbreaks along the way but there's also a huge treasure chest of memories of diverse people along the way with whom I've shared a glass of wine... a cup of coffee... a vacation... a passionate embrace... a prayer... a tear... a great ballgame... an amazing play... an off key karaoke song... a big bowl of homemade cream cheese icing... a glass of lemonade on a rocking chair front porch... a guitar playing old hymns on a front porch... a plane ride... a butterfly chase... a carpet picnic... a hotel picnic... a Starbucks fruit and cheese platter... a walk through a cemetary... a revelation at the altar... a gravy biscuit... a great movie... I am so blessed.

I may not have traveled the world and I may have not yet found a forever love. I may not be the size I want to be and I might not have a fabulous home. But I have lived and I have loved and I am thankful to be who I am, all 42 years of me.

love and hugs, y'all!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

random wednesday

Random Wednesday. Not whiny Wednesday because I did that yesterday and I’m not going to complain today. Honest.

But I just can’t figure out why the people I work with will leave 3 squares of toilet paper on the roll. If it’s down to three squares… common courtesy would be to replace, don’t you think? Drives me nuts. I potty a lot so I’m frequently changing tp. Not that it’s a hard job or anything. Just frustrating to have to deal with bathroom etiquette that I wouldn’t permit my children to have. There’s been an ongoing problem with lack of cooperation in all areas of supplies, though, and it’s been addressed recently. I’m complaining here because if I complained in real life it might not be with enough tact.

My skin is so bad right now that I need a skintervention. My pores are so big you could drive a truck through them. I need a gay man in my life, bad. I miss spa nights with Ethan and Joey… they would color my hair… we’d do facials…give each other massages… have a carpet picnic and watch chick flicks. Drop Dead Gorgeous and Steel Magnolias were two of our favorites.

It’s cold here this morning. That’s not a complaint, just an acknowledgement.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to do the hair routine this morning… it was still straight from yesterday, despite the frizzy weather we had. It makes me sick to think about coming up with the cash for another good straightening iron when the cat needs shots, I need to pay for Austin’s tux for the wedding and I need to also purchase wedding gifts. Argh. Yet… I’m fortunate to have cute hair that needs maintenance… a cuddly kitten that needs maintenance… and gorgeous boys to dress up and give gifts to. I know that it’s far better to be broke with a happy lot of people in my life than be rich and lonely. At least I think it’s better. I’ve not had much experience with the other. Well, other than Jacksonville. Although we were never as financially stable as I was led to believe.

Fortunately, my car started right away this morning. I never take it for granted.

I’m way more congested today. That’s not a complaint. Really. I’ve spent less than $100 on health care this year… a bottle of Nyquil, some cough drops, some advil… by this time last year the number was closer to $2000. I think I’m managing my healthcare costs better, even if I’m not one hundred percent healthy. My reality is that I will deal with chest congestion from time to time. As long as I’m able to still function… work… keep a home… and have some semblance of a normal life, I can live with it. It’s easier since we did all that extensive testing last year and I know why I feel like I feel.

My birthday is tomorrow! Woohoo! It’s not a milestone birthday but in several ways it’s a milestone for me. It’s the first year of my life since puberty that I haven’t had some sort of romantic entanglement for a WHOLE YEAR. I have derived NONE of my self-esteem, none of my income, nothing at all from a significant or insignificant other. Sisters are doing it for themselves, y’all! Just me, Auggie, the kitties and the people who pray for me and stand in the gap for me out of pure, unconditional love for me, not because they HAVE to.

Yes, there are moments that it’s hard… like yesterday morning when the car wouldn’t start and I had to make a decision about whether or not to turn it over to a mechanic or to try to use my own resources to get it working. I prayed. It was a decision I was not equipped to make on my own. I needed counsel from someone who knew more than me about the situation. And in those moments it’s hard to not have a guy to bounce things off… but honestly… I got a swift, decisive result from my brother. The car troubles I had while I was with Michael fell completely on me to resolve. He was zero help. Not even with the damages he caused. I can remember how frustrating it was for me as a young married mother of three who had virtually no assistance from my kids’ dad, even though we were together. I watched the single moms in my church get help from our church family and I thought, “I’m more overwhelmed than they are…”

The moral of the story is that it’s better to have no man in your life at all than to have a dysfunctional, irresponsible, selfish one. The second moral of the story is that God provides everything you need, exactly when you need it. I may not have all my wants. I may have times that I have to stress over how to manage my financial obligations. But God does provide.

Always.

I just remembered that I have to get my car tag. Yikes.

Oh well. Happy Birthday to my cousin Christie today! She’s …. 29.

Hope y’all all have a wonderful Wednesday. Quit yer whinin’!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Whiny Wednesday came early this week

This morning my car wouldn't start.
I'm not gonna lie to you... I panicked. I'm on the edge... there just aren't resources for things like that.
The happy news is that my brother came by and was able to get it started... the ignition was locked up. It's happened before but this time I couldn't get it to budge. It was random but... we dodged a bullet.
I was late for work, though, which stunk.
I had a lot of stuff leftover from yesterday to finish up and I didn't need to be late.
I sucked it up, though and got through it.
It felt like Monday all over again.
Because I was late, I took a short lunch... so I didn't have time to catch my breath.
The day was busy.
I was tired when I got home.
And when I got home... I found my broken straightening iron... the one I just bought a few weeks ago....that I stinking can't afford to replace right now. The cats knocked it off the counter.
Allegedly.
ARRRRRRGH!
I don't want to be rich. I just want to have enough of a financial cushion that a car that doesn't start and a broken straightening iron aren't such a big deal.
I was super proud of myself this morning, though. I didn't stress eat. I ate broccoli for breakfast.
For dinner I had this really good (cheap) soup that I found. It's sort of a high class ramen... it's from Thai Kitchen... rice noodles (not fried) and different thai spices. It was light and warm.
It's cold tonight.
Blackberry winter, that's what everyone keeps saying.
Time for 19 Kids and Counting. I love the Duggars.
No more whining.
Love and hugs, y'all.

Monday, April 26, 2010

monday recap

There is an itty bitty kitty curled up on my chest with his little head tucked up under my chin... makes all the stress of Monday much less stressful.

It was a crazy busy day at work. I made some money, though, so that's good.

I've decided that I have to go to Chicago this summer for Purple Michael's birthday. He'll be 40. Gays don't age gracefully. He needs me.

I'm only a little bit (a lot) jealous that Fabulousity Weekend II is happening in Chicago this weekend without me. My sister-out-law Candice will be hobnobbing with Purple Michael and his BF Ross on Saturday night. Candice is going to some lawyering thing with my brother Bryan and she was able to arrange a Gay Old Time... and it's not with the Flintstones. It's with MY Michael!

I'm very super ridiculously happy that two of my favorite fabulous people have connected, though. Purple Michael and Candice were destined to be friends. Long as they remember how they got together!

So I need a Chicago trip. I priced tickets today and I won't get there for less than $300. Plus I have to come up with Bitty Kitty's vet fees... argh. I need to make more money. I need more crazy days like today.

I put dinner in the crockpot this morning so I came home to a fully cooked meal. That made me soooo happy!

My birthday is in three days!

I had to move Bitty Kitty because I couldn't type with him on my arm. He was not happy with the relocation but he stretched and then cozied up again and fell back to sleep. In my next life, I want to be my cat. I'm kidding. I don't believe in reincarnation...

But I do love my cat. I can't remember what we did before we had Bitty Kitty.... he's just such a love.

Happy Monday, y'all. I'm heading to bed...

Saturday, April 24, 2010

my weekend...

Sometimes it just doesn't go the way you planned...

I've had some busy weekends lately. This was supposed to be another one... but my head is killing me, we've got bad storms coming and I'm broke. The child support that was promised has not materialized so we're going to have one of those *counting pennies* weeks ahead. Happy. Birthday. To. Me.

Honestly, I just know that what needs to happen always does happen in my life. I know that I'm not really up for a four hour drive this weekend. I know that Austin and I both need to be tending to our chest crud. I know. I know. I know all this is true. I think a sign of growing older is the ability to take a realistic inventory of your resources of time, energy and money and use them in the best way possible.

I hope that's what I'm doing today.

Friday, April 23, 2010

friday countdown

I came home yesterday to find a card from the sheriff’s department… once again looking for Michael regarding a civil lawsuit. Unpaid debts. Again. Hard to believe this is the same guy who refused to marry me until MY debts were settled! I guess that’s all part and parcel of the massive deception he had going. I called the sheriff’s department and let them know that I left him to escape an abusive and dangerous situation and that I was not able to contact him without fear for my health and sanity. They were terrific… very kind… I gave them the name and address of the company where Michael works and they were going to have the papers served there. They told me to let them know if I hear anything from him – especially if he tries to retaliate for me giving them his whereabouts. Good times.

And then….Austin disappeared again last night around 9pm. I drove the neighborhood for awhile trying to hunt him down… called all of his friends houses… it’s just aggravating and frustrating. Made me really want to hurt him. I passed a bunch of police cars at his ex-girlfriend’s house – there was drama there but she’s a young girl so I won’t go into details here. It’s not my story. I passed some State Patrol officers at the local convenience store- they had a few cars pulled over. I drove slowly to make sure Austin wasn't in any of them. It was nerve-wracking. I decided it was too stressful. I gave up the search and headed back home- and was met in my driveway by a pit bull. It took a few minutes for me to scare him off so that I could get out of my car. I was not happy. Austin was right inside the door. He knew I was mad. I screamed myself hoarse and then collapsed in exhaustion but couldn’t sleep for hours. So frustrating. He just doesn’t get it. He thinks he should be able to come and go as he pleases. The really sad thing is that for the most part I let him come and go as he pleases. He has been restricted this week because of his disappearing act over the weekend. And he didn’t like that I refused to let him go anywhere… so he faked like he was going to the kitchen… and slipped out.

It’s rare for me to need the alarm to wake up but I was close this morning. Instead of my usual hour ahead of the alarm, it was more like a few minutes. Bitty Kitty protested… he knew we were sleeping great when the time came. He even gave me kitty kisses trying to convince me to sleep a little later. It was tempting.... I got up. I got a slow start but since it was Friday, I rallied. Fortunately Austin is cooperative in the morning. Thank heaven for small favors.

On my way to work today I had to stop and take photos of a home we’re going to insure. I knew it was going to be a little more taxing than usual because the homeowner was out of town and they have a chain blocking their driveway. He said I’d have to walk about ¼ mile from the gate to the home. Ok. I can walk a half mile… on a lovely spring morning in the mountains, especially! I love field trips! What he neglected to tell me was that the driveway was such a steep grade that there was no way my little car would make it up the hill. And that ¼ became nearly a mile… nearly straight up. I am not sure what possessed me… but for some reason I thought my fat butt could travel a hill that my car could not. It could not. My lungs were screaming and my feet were killing me and I slipped a few times (but never fell) before I even caught sight of the chain. I decided this was NOT a good idea and turned back… without the photos.

Once I got to work I realized that traipsing off alone in the wilderness at a good distance from my car was a really bad idea. Even though crime is practically non-existent in our area, it does happen. I was so far off the beaten path that if I had fallen, I wouldn’t have had a cellphone signal to call anyone. The nearest house was ½ mile down a winding dirt driveway. And there are also all kind of lions and tigers and bears around. Or maybe just bears. But that's bad enough. I think I had best retire from the photography side of my business.

We have a busy weekend on tap and I'm so wiped out... planning to head to the southside of town again for the second time this month. It's a long drive with a lot of road construction but I'll soldier thru. Just pray for good weather and safe travels... (although I think we're expecting major storms. Yikes). Hope y'all have a great one! My lunch is over now... love and hugs!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

thankful that it's thursday

Working up the right frame of mind for a Thankful Thursday post.

I’m in a dilemma. My dear friend, A.T. is getting married on Saturday. In Newnan. Two hours away. And unless I get a cash infusion (such as child support) in the next few days, it’s going to be near to impossible for us to go. I talked to the kids’ dad and he says he’s paying tomorrow. Hope that holds true. I missed A.T.’s first wedding because I went into labor with Cody. She’s been such an important part of my life… I want to be there for her big day.

I’m so sick of being poor. I don’t need to be stinkin’ rich but to not have to plan my life around whether or not we have gas or grocery money would be nice.

Church last night was great. I love my girls – both the little red-headed ones who share my blood – and the big ones who are my sister friends. It was awesome to have time with all of them. Jamie is having asthma trouble… I could tell by her flush cheeks and the ring of white around her mouth. That was Ryan standard look for six months of the year when he was little. I asked her how she felt and she shrugged… I said, “give me a thumbs up or thumbs down” and she pointed her thumbs exactly horizontal. That’s my Jay-gurl! She has this wit about her that is far beyond her age.

I really needed that time at church to “re-ground” myself. There are some things that have been really weighing on my nerves and my heart… I guess you would call them “every day frustrations”… but they’re piling up. I needed to sorta clear my heart and mind. But… it’s Thankful Thursday, so I won’t complain about those things today.

The weather here is gorgeous. Sunny and perfectly mild.

Austin has a horrible cold but his ankle looks much better.

Angie was a bit bummed last night because there’s a scheduling conflict that will keep them from being able to have her 40th birthday party the day she wanted. But the good news is that it will be postponed until the following week and Candice and Bryan will be here for it! (or as Stasha said, “Aunt Candice is coming! Yay!”) It will be the day after Cody’s wedding. So glad it’s Memorial Day weekend and I’ll have Sunday and Monday to re-coop from a busy Thursday, Friday and Saturday!

The weekend prior to that will be the girls’ first ever dance recital. You know I’ll be a picture taking fool! Ryan will be in town at the time of the recital… hope he’ll be able to come to it.

The church directory came out this week and wow. Our picture is pathetic. Does anyone ever take a good church directory photo? They need to let me do the photos. I take much better pictures without the price or the hassle. I’m still not over their pushy salesman telling me I needed the “retouch package” to get rid of my wrinkles and Austin’s acne. AS IF! I think I look purty good for almost 42. One week until my birthday!

Today’s Thankful Thursday list is by Bit-Bit the Ferocious Warrior Kitty…
1. I’m thankful that mommy has strings on all of her pj pants. LOVE STRINGS!
2. I’m thankful that mommy lets me sleep on her chest. And her hip. And her leg. And whatever else part of her I decide to sprawl out on.
3. I’m thankful that mommy is soft and cozy.
4. I’m thankful that mommy put up with all the scratches I inflicted on her while I was still learning to retract my claws. I’m better at walking on soft feet now.
5. I’m thankful that Big Kitty helps keep me clean.
6. I’m thankful that Boy changes my litter box every few days.
7. I’m thankful for kibble, tuna juice and treats.
8. I’m thankful that people love to pet baby kitties. I can always get a little lovin’ when I need it.
9. I’m thankful that I’m so cute that people want to pick me up and cuddle me.
10. I’m thankful for empty toilet paper rolls, ribbons and other little trinkets and treasures lying around the house for me to play with.


I had caldo de pollo (chicken soup) for lunch and ... a few... chips with salsa. I have the most uncomfortable heartburn now. I never get heartburn. I feel like I'm choking on it. Ugh. I had prayed that God would help me eat responsibly. Think He's trying to tell me something?

Well, if nothing else, I'm thankful that it's Thursday. Love and hugs, y'all.

Thankful Thursday. Really. I'm thankful.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

sometimes the fog makes things clearer

Sometimes the fog makes things clearer.
Seriously.
There was dense fog here in the mountains this morning, which meant that I couldn’t see the sunrise or the mountains on my drive in… but I could see…. On both sides of the road… these little white fuzzy flowers… or so I thought… about the size of sunflowers. I was calling them “moonflowers” in my head, although I’m not really sure that’s a real kind of flower. Then I realized… they weren’t flowers at all but spider webs accentuated by the fog. I never would have known there were THAT MANY spider webs on the side of the road. Never would have realized how beautiful a spider web could be with just the right conditions. Never paid that much attention to the sides of the roadway, since the distant mountain ranges are so incredibly beautiful.
Sometimes, I guess, there is beauty far closer to you than you realize, and all you need to do is quit gazing wistfully at the distance and appreciate what you have close at hand.
That was my Whiny Wednesday philosophy for you.
Tomorrow is Earth Day, which sorta grates on my nerves because it gives a platform to all the Tree-Huggers and Environmental Whackos who still believe in Global Warming. GLOBAL WARMING IS A MYTH, PEOPLE! It’s a generation of people who are more concerned with the creation than the Creator. It’s a departure from pragmatism and common sense and it’s an effort to place animals and plants in higher order than people – a direct conflict with God’s plan for the world He created.
Just like last summer… my voice is leaving me. And of course, over the past two days at work I’ve gotten every half deaf and/or non-english speaking person, requiring me to strain even harder to talk.
Austin went back to school today. His ankle still hurts but it’s going to hurt for weeks. He’s going to end up not finishing tenth grade if he doesn’t get his act together. I asked that they excuse him from PE. I’m still halfway expecting to get a call today asking me to come pick him up. If he calls… argh. No idea what I’ll do.
Just finished my emails from Monday. Missing a day messes up the next two days. Then I had some extraneous issues – extra little assignments- and the computers were down yesterday afternoon.
I love how Whiny Wednesday always lives up to it’s name.
Emailing with my sister-out-law Candice this morning. She and my brother Bryan are coming down for the wedding next month. She asked if there was a place we could get our hair done before the wedding… I suggested my usual girl up here in Hooterville. Candice was thinking more of an Atlanta based location. She’s worried that we’ll look like we just stepped out of Steel Magnolias. Big hair, my friend, never goes out of style! In the south the bigger the occasion, the bigger the hair! She could pretend to be the Aunt from Jersey. Allegedly. I have no first hand knowledge of Jersey hair. In late May, in the south, as long as I don’t frizz I don’t care how big my hair is.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

here's the story...

Lots to blog about today... may be just in snippets as I chase rabbits... I've got three whole days to recap!

Saturday was awesome. We attended a memorial service at North Georgia College and State University in Dahlonega (the next town to the west of us). This service was organized by the Atlanta Vietnam Veterans Businessmen Association, the same folks who erected the memorial to the kids' grandfather in Atlanta. This service was to honor the 26 people who had attended that school and died in Vietnam. It was nice... held out on the parade grounds in the middle of the campus, bright sunny day, lots of God, country, family, honor kind of stuff.

After the service Austin's dad and his girlfriend came over and helped move the big tv from the living room to Austin's room. Since Austin didn't have a tv in his room, he had been camping out in the living room which meant that my living room looked like a teenager's bedroom. I'm excited to have my living room back.

Then.... we all went out to eat like one big happy dysfunctional family... me, Austin, Cody, Marquee, Robert and Faye. Good times. To keep things cordial, I didn't mention child support and I paid for dinner for everyone except Robert and Faye. It was just easier that way. I want the kids to be able to enjoy both parents at the same time without it being stressful. My issues with Robert are MY issues. When he is doing the right things... by being engaged with his kids... I'm not going to brow beat him about the tens of thousands of dollars he owes in back child support.

After all of that, I was worn out. There was a lot of walking outside in the VERY bright sun and I was sunburned... had a headache... my feet hurt and mychest was full of junk. I spent yet another Sunday completely relaxed (i.e. skipped church) and tried to do the best I could to heal, chill, and prepare for the week.

Austin was exhausted as well... but I pushed him to finish up purging the living room of his mess. It was his mess. He resisted. Then he lied about having done it and got mad when I discovered the truth. He was in such a foul temper. His friend Zack came over and helped him finish up so he could go to his house to play playstation. I was glad to have Austin out of the house, to be honest. He had been sort of a butt all weekend and I was tired of arguing with him. Austin was supposed to leave his friend's number - he showed me where it was in the caller ID on our phone and also acted as if he was programming it into my cellphone.

These became important details later... because after dozing off around nine pm, I woke up at 11:30 and realized Austin wasn't home yet. Zack's number wasn't in my cellphone. The house phone was missing. I paged it... no beep. Our place isn't that big. So that meant that Austin either hid it our took it with him. I had no idea how to get in touch with Zack... no idea where he lives... didn't even know his last name.

Thus began a seven hour odyssey of worrying, watching, waiting, praying, trying to figure out the best course of action. I didn't want to dispatch an APB when most likely, Austin had just fallen asleep where he was and decided not to come home in the middle of the night. Probably. But there was that nagging... "what if"... we live in a super safe community. There is some meth traffic and a small drug element that you find in every small rural area but there is almost no crime here. There are bears and other wild animals, though, and he would have been more likely to come across something like that than a criminal element.

I mentioned the story of the girl with Asperger's who got lost in the Florida swamp last week and who, fortunately, was found alive after four days. This is a common issue with Asperger's kids... they wander. I talked to Austin about this last week and how I had spent so many hours worrying about him being lost over the years and he said... typical aspergers.... "I've never been lost". Although there have been dozens of times that I was stressed by not knowing where he was, he has ALWAYS known where he was so he is unable to understand why it's upsetting to me.

Around six am I got my shower, got dressed and prepared to interrogate the kids at the busstop to figure out Zack's name, where he lives, get a phone number, etc. Then I remembered that I still had Austin's old girlfriend, tasha's cellphone number on my phone and sent her a text. She responded back within ten minutes with Zack's number and she had talked to him. It turned out that Austin had sprained his ankle and was unable to walk home. He tried calling the house number (he said) but it was dead. He couldn't remember my cellphone number. There was no adult in the house (I'll remember THAT the next time he asks to go over there) until the middle of the night when Zack's mom got off work and she was not willing to bring Austin home then (reportedly).

Frankly, Austin doesn't have the capacity for empathy to understand why all of this was troubling for me and was MAD... I mean, FURIOUS... that I was mad at him! It's insane. But that, my friends, is what it means to live with someone with autism. His ankle is badly sprained. I didn't take him to the doctor because it was obviously JUST a sprain. We both stayed home yesterday... him because of his ankle, me because I was completely emotionally and physically exhausted. yay. Another day of lost wages. Just what I needed.

So... that's what's been happening around here. I'm still battling the chest crud so the extra day of rest was probably not a bad thing for me, health wise. I slept from 7am until 11am yesterday morning and then was back asleep at 8pm last night (which means I missed Dancing with the Stars). I feel like I have a lead weight attached to my chest... it's no fun... but I'm heading into the office today and I'm determined to do everything I need to do.

Bitty Kitty is busy chasing his shadow again... which means the sun is coming up! Hope you all have a great day!

Friday, April 16, 2010

weekend countdown

Cody’s getting married six weeks from today! I wish I could broadcast live on my blog for everyone who can’t be there… I’m so proud of him and happy for him.
I woke up this morning to a clean kitchen. I complain when Austin is a pain, I guess it’s only fair to compliment him when he’s a blessing.
I talked to Ryan last night. He’s got major allergy/sinus stuff happening. Apparently he isn’t used to whatever is blooming in PA right now.
My chest is stuffed with cotton. I feel fine. Just a little tired.
Woke up before 4am today. Again.
Bitty Kitty scratched my toe last night… cut a big old slice in it. It bled pretty good. I’m going to end up with cat scratch fever. He didn’t mean to. He thought we were playing “find the feet under the covers and cut them to shreds when you do”. He won. And then… when Austin gave him a time out from my room as punishment… he stood outside my door and cried. When I let him in… he came in and licked my face. He was sorry. He didn’t mean to hurt me. He loves his mommy.
I’m sorta grumpy today in that people are getting on my nerves but not in the “woe is me” kind of way.
Tomorrow we have the memorial service for my kids’ granddad at a nearby college. They’re doing a memorial for the men who graduated from their school and were killed in Vietnam. I’m not super excited about going because I don’t feel particularly well but I think it’s important for the boys to remember their Papa Ned and honor his memory any way they can.
Working on the Facebook page for the office. I can’t access it from the office so it’s been slow going. I have a hard time redirecting to work stuff on my off time. Especially since I haven’t been feeling great for the past two weeks. I go home and crash. So much for my little exercise reward hearts. I can’t do anything without being out of breath… I was out of breath brushing my hair yesterday. It’s frustrating.
It might help if we hadn’t started a “Dilly Bar Thursday” tradition at the office.
My weekend countdown has started. Yabba Dabba Doo can’t get here fast enough.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

my thankful thursday post - I'm trying, I really am

Only a teenager would be nasty to his parent for consequences of his own disobedience.
Mom: "Austin, don't forget to put your clothes in the dryer. Do I need to remind you?"
Austin: (aggravated) "NO! I know! You don't have to keep telling me! I know what to do!"
fast forward 12 hours
Austin: "Did you have to put ALL of my clothes in the washer? Now I don't have anything to wear."
Mom: "Didn't you put them in the dryer last night?"
Austin: "I forgot. I didn't know you did all of my laundry."

You're welcome. Butthead.

And the reason he has to put his own clothes in the dryer? I can't breathe. I really can't breathe when I bend over. He knows this because he very solicitously assisted me in loading the dirty laundry into the washing machine. Good times.

Oh yeah. I was working on a Thankful Thursday post.
I'm thankful that my kid has clothes, even if they're wet - and now soured.
I'm thankful that we have a washer and a dryer in our home.
I'm thankful that we have running water and detergent.
I'm thankful that he is in school.
I'm thankful that he lives at home still and is (sorta) helpful.
I'm thankful that I have a computer to post a cyber complaint about teenage behavior.
I'm thankful that I know how to type, that I woke up early enough to post, that although I'm uncomfortable, I'm still functioning.
I'm thankful that I've been able to sleep this week because I've really needed the extra rest.
I'm thankful that Big Mike didn't get eliminated from American Idol last night.
I'm thankful that I finished and filed my tax return yesterday. (more about taxes later)
I'm thankful that I'm no longer married to a tax evader because eventually, those years of unpaid taxes are going to catch up with him.
I'm thankful for the beautiful, colorful, fragrant spring we're having.

Ok... I'll leave you with something to think about... it's a good example of what's wrong with the American tax system. I had about $350 withheld for federal taxes last year. Yes. That's it. My REFUND (yes, refund) amount was $1932. Instead of paying taxes, the government gave me a handout of $1600. Now, due to some *errors* on the only tax return I allowed Michael to have any involvement in... I have a past due tax liability that I've been paying on... and will actually get back probably nothing or, if anything, enough for a good grocery run. But even so... I can't understand a tax system that redistributes wealth. That $1600 was money that someone else earned and I have no right to it. It's not mine. I did nothing to earn it. It's not Random Joe Taxpayer's fault that I didn't go to college, that I made bad choices in marriages that ultimately landed me in a position where my annual income is significantly less than Mr. Taxpayers. And my skewed refund is a smaller percentage than people who have more children or make less money than I do. So people who screwed up worse than I did, get a whole lot more of Joe Taxpayer's money. I just don't think it's right.

Gotta glam and get to work. Love and hugs, y'all.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Nadia Bloom - what I love about this story

1. It brings Aspergers Syndrome to the attention of the public. How many times have I watched and waited and wondered where my wandering child was? The truth is that parenting a high functioning autistic child is exhausting. It just is. They know the rules but when they are chasing a butterfly or pursuing any interest they develop tunnel vision and that becomes their only guiding light.

2. They found her safe and healthy. There are happy endings.

3. The man who found her searched in an attitude of prayer. He trusted God to lead him to Nadia and she was right where God sent him. It took complete trust, complete courage to step out alone, complete obedience to find this lost child.

4. Her rescue is a perfect example of a properly functioning church family. Her church members refused to give up. They prayed, they searched, they supported the family. Why go to church? Because in times of trouble a church family is the hand of God here on earth.

5. Her resuer was not afraid to go on national tv and give testimony to how he found her.

God is good!

caution: whiny wednesday ahead

Watching the morning news makes me sad for our world. There's just so much meanness out there.

I haven't yet filed my taxes. I will do that immediately after work today. Ugh. I don't really get much back because I don't have much withheld. I need my money more than the government does, although, the argument could be made to the contrary. I'll file online. It takes about thirty minutes since I don't own any property or anything. My assets are easy to evaluate... um... none. Done. It is a huge blessing to have worked the entire calendar year at the same place... first time that's happened since 2005. Thank you, Michael Darby.

The sun is just beginning to rise... they're saying we'll have a warm day today. The pollen count is lower. I am having more trouble breathing this morning than I did yesterday. It is not fun. I just want to take a good, deep breath without feeling like I'm wearing a too-tight bra. I'm just trying to manage things as well as I can without adding medications... because once I start on meds, things just spiral out of control. No drugs. Hot tea, hot coffee, soup... all work well at breaking up congestion. I'm functioning but not terribly energetic.

Austin has been back home for four days and the house is already a wreck. His back has been bothering him (trying to keep up with his old Pop on the golf course) (it's a shame when a 16 year old needs a golf cart before his grandfather... sad). I had to spend my lunch break yesterday driving the one hour round trip to the high school and then back to the office. It was aggravating. I just don't understand how you can feel well enough to make a mess but not well enough to clean it up.

Time to glam and dash... have to stop off and pay the water bill on my way to work... it's my short day and I may actually take lunch at the end of the day and leave a little bit earlier so that I can get taxes done AND get to church on time. Lord, give me strength!

Hope you have a fabulous Wednesday! Love and hugs!

ADDENDUM:
More whine:
I had to stop on the way to work to pay my water bill... so I decided to go to McDonalds since it's on the same side of the road. (My sister in law Candice just said, "that was your first mistake") We have the dual drive thru lines. I was stuck in one where the computer wasn't working. Finally... I realized what was going on and moved... and it started working. About eight people got ahead of me. And the egg mcmuffin wasn't that good.

I can't breathe.

I'm wearing a gorgeous new scarf but I can't figure out a good way to wear it and I keep fiddlin' with it.

There was a dead skunk in the road this morning and it smelled like, well, dead skunk.

Ok. That's it for now.

Happy, happy, joy, joy.
It's my friend Barbie's birthday... she's been fighting breast cancer over the past year and doing it IN STYLE! This girl is a powerhouse of energy. There's no invalid in her anywhere! So glad to see her doing so well.
An old blog acquaintance, Charmaine, has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Many prayers for her.
Also prayers for my lifelong friend, Dewayna, who is working the single mom thing far away from home out in Kansas and feeling like she's on a high wire without a net. I know a lot of y'all know that feeling. Keep her in your prayers.
Gonna try to focus a little less on my whining for the rest of the day and have an empowered day. God is bigger than all my aggravations and inconveniences!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

tuesday morning report

The sun is shining. We expect a high of 80 today. The pollen count is 2351. Anything over 120 is extremely high. My lungs are filling up with green junk. I'm trying to postpone/avoid a trip to the doctor, lung xray and bronchitis diagnosis. The fatigue has set in like last year but I am still in the denial stage. Eating lots of fresh produce. I've figured out that citrus foods irritate my bladder so I'm trying to do vitamin c without citrus. It's doable.

I had a wonderful break in my day yesterday picking up Jamie and Sarabeth and taking them to dance. Sarabeth just wanted a headband.... Jamie got a real ballet hairdo... I did two french braids joining into one braid in the back and then tucked up into a bun. She was waaaay cute! We had a lovely chat in the car as Jamie read to me from Max Lucado's "When Christ Comes Back" and Beth Moore's "So Long Insecurity". She's in pre-school and she could read the word "insecurity". The Max Lucado book launched us into a discussion of the rapture which was incredibly interesting. I love thinking about things through the mind of a child.

Kate Gosselin is on the Today show. I still find her interesting. I don't think she's the best mom in the world but neither am I. I was drawn to their show initially because they were real people and she still feels to me like a real person dropped into the middle of a surreal situation. I think Jon is a huge tool. I've been where Kate is... working her butt off and being criticized for working too much as a single mom. You have to do the best you can and non-custodial parents have no right to complain. Her dancing was much better last night, too.

Time to glam and dash... hope you have a great day!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

my no-lettuce salad

I was feeling creative this weekend and really craving fresh produce so I came up with this little recipe. Thought you might like to try it! Austin said it's a "no lettuce salad" so that's the official name. I don't measure stuff... so you can alter to suit your taste.

radishes- sliced super thin (I used the vegetable peeler)
jicama - sliced the same way
cilantro - I love it so I used a bunch. Literally, a whole bunch. .
watercress - any soft green would work
diced yellow onion
chopped scallions
diced jalapenos
diced seeded cucumber
diced seeded tomato (I seeded the cucumber and tomato so they weren't so soggy)
diced anaheim pepper

I tossed all of this together with some lime salt and apple cider vinegar. Lime juice would have worked just as well. It's sort of a mexican flavor.

It makes almost a slaw type salad... I thought it would be great with croutons and I didn't have any but I did have some stale bread.... so I made my own croutons. I just took bread and cubed it, tossed it in a little olive and canola oil, seasoned it with parmesan, garlic powder and pepper, baked it in a 300 degree oven for about 45 minutes.

I served the salad over the croutons so they could soak up the good vinegary flavor. Good stuff!

my weekend.

I had an asthma attack this morning. I had the meds on hand to relieve my symptoms but the meds have me geeking like crazy... I hate this feeling.



Austin is home now... I missed his sweet little personality last week. He's a pain in the rear but he's also funny and smart and kind. I love my kids.



I got to spend time yesterday with my parents, Cody and my future daughter in law, Marquee. It was a good day. The trip down to Atlanta was awesome... the trip home was miserable because of traffic... but it was a good day.



I helped my dad set up his first blog. He has been sending out a little bible study/devotional email every morning for quite some time. I suggested that maybe setting it up as a blog would be a good idea. It's short and easy to read to start your day. Check him out at http://www.mrjimsgoodmorning.blogspot.com/ and be sure to tell him that I sent you!



I went shopping with my mom and Marquee yesterday for a dress for the wedding. I found something that I really like... it matches the color scheme perfectly... it's the exact length I wanted and it's appropriate for a woman my size without being a flour sack. I will post a picture later so you can see. I also bought a short sleeve sweater as a cover up or a scarf so I can decide which way I want to go on the day of the wedding. It's an outdoor wedding in May... so it will probably be warm. Marquee's mom and aunt also shopped with us so I got lots of feedback. I just wish Candice and Purple Michael could have been there too!



Thanks to mom and dad for buying my dress for me! And thanks to Pop for the beautiful pink scarf he made me! It's exactly the color I wanted!



Cody had a break in between appointments at work so he was able to join me, mom and Marquee for lunch at our favorite mexican restaurant. We had a really good time... even if mom did get a little out of control with the margaritas. (I'm totally kidding... we only joked about getting mom drunk). I had a tamale and a side order of the mexican veggies that this place fixes and they were soooo good. It was nice to have mexican without filling up on mushy refried beans.



After lunch we were able to go see Cody's massage room at the spa where he works. I'm so proud of Cody.... he's doing what he wants to do and is making a living. Not bad for a 19 year old kid who- just two short years ago - we weren't even sure he was going to graduate from high school. It's awesome to see my boys doing well, being successful and being mostly self-sufficient. During the Darby years I took a lot of criticism about my parenting style... but I'll put my boys up against ANY one else's kids. They're smart, kind, successful and happy. I'm a very proud mommy.



Then I dragged mom and Marquee with me to the thrift store. I have been rotating the same tired four work outfits all winter. I'm sick of them, I know my co-workers are sick of seeing them. It was time to get a few new things and since mom and dad paid for my dress for the wedding, I was able to use the money budgeted for that to beef up my wardrobe at the thrift store. Marquee had NEVER been to a thrift store! I told her to stay in school and get a degree so that she doesn't have to shop in thrift stores... but then I told her truthfully that I really love shopping that way and would do it even if I could afford to buy anything and everything retail. I like the treasure hunt of it all... and so many things are brand new with tags still on them. I bought 5 tops, a skirt, a gorgeous scarf, a pair of shorts and two nice dresses for $34 - including tax and also including a golf picture that Marquee picked out for Pop.



Once we got back to mom and dad's Cody had gotten off work and was able to give me the official tour of his and Marquee's house - aka the Guest House - aka "Mawmaw's House". My parents bought the house next door to them last winter for about $23,000 - which was $1000 less than what they paid for the house they live in when they bought it in 1976! Cody has worked hard at refinishing the floors, redoing the kitchen cabinets, cleaning, painting and getting the house in good shape. I had not been able to see the "after" yet.... so I got the grand tour. It looks amazing! It's such a cute little house.... about 1200 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, big den... with a nice fenced in backyard. It's a perfect first home for a young couple. Heck... if it wasn't in Riverdale, I'd live there!

After our tour, Austin and I hit the road... and promptly got stuck in some random, inexplicable Atlanta traffic. It was MISERABLE! MY head was hurting, my throat hurt, I couldn't breathe... it took about an hour longer to get home than it should have. We stopped off for Chickfila and were literally counting the minutes until we got home and then... seven minutes from home there was an accident that had the road closed. Ugh. We sat and ate our chickfila and moaned and groaned...

I can't shake the headache and I can't breathe. I'm having yet another pajama Sunday. They're going to take away my church membership if I keep missing...

Pop sent some golf clubs home with Austin so he can practice... and Bitty Kitty LOVES golf balls! He looked like a little Pele - playing kitty soccer with his golf ball in the kitchen this morning. It was hilarious!

Anyways... bitty kitty and I are curled up in the nest watching the Sunday morning talk shows. Hope you're having a beautiful Sunday wherever you are.... love and hugs!

Friday, April 9, 2010

my five minute plan

I've got five minutes to blog this morning before I need to head out... so I want to tell you about my five minute plan.

With great optimism this January I purchased some little heart clings to put on my bathroom mirror for every pound I lost. After staring at four little miserable lonely hearts for the past two months... I decided to change my strategy.

I've said before that trying to lose weight without exercise is like trying to drive a car without a car. You just can't. I've proved that theory again over the past three months. I just can't seem to get moving. Neither can the scale.

Soooo... I decided to give those little hearts a new assignment. Instead of marking pounds lost, they're marking every five minutes I exercise. My goal is six hearts a day. That way, I don't feel overwhelmed by the exhausting task of exercise. I can chip it away in bits and pieces. I got five minutes in this morning already!

It may not seem like much.... but that's how I started in 2005.... a little bit at a time... and as the weight went away, I was able to do more and more and more. Goodbye FAT! You're on the way out!

Daily whine: the light in my bedroom burned out this morning. I can't reach - even on the tallest stool I have - to change it. It will have to stay dark until Austin comes home.

Time to glam and dash! Happy Friday, y'all! Hope you find five minutes in your day to do something good for yourself!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

random extra stuff for thursday

It drives me crazy if my underwear doesn’t match my outerwear but I think nothing of wearing mismatched socks.
Sometimes telemarketing for my job feels like an attempt at world domination. Must. Get. Everyone. Insured here.
I’m looking for a good pair of black flats that are similar to my beloved brown sketcher flats. Closed toed. Soft soled because our floors here at work are noisy.
Having lunch with Princess the Fabulous Feral Feline at Jim and Angie’s. Hope it’s not raining at lunch. I’m having a kashi meal. She’s having kibble.
Someone stole the birdhouse outside of my office window. Who steals a birdhouse?
We’re playing John Denver over the office radio system. I’m not AGAINST John Denver but it’s sleepy music. I need UPBEAT music. The others like it so I try not to complain.
Consequently, I figured out how to turn the music off at my desk. *wink*
I’ve made a ton of calls today and it’s not even lunch time yet.
I'm feeling quite vomitous. I don't think that's a word but it's definitely a feeling. Not sure what's making me so nauseous so I'll blame the pollen.
I'm always sick the first week of April. It's not fair.
the dogwood tree outside my window is in full, beautiful bloom.
Happy day.

goodbye gravy biscuits

There’s a weird glow outside… it’s overcast and sprinkling… and the yellow tint of the pollen in the air makes it look sort of grey-green outside.
And I don’t feel good. I missed most of the workday on Tuesday and all day yesterday and no, I couldn’t afford to miss. This pollen stuff has me just about shut down. I can’t breathe, my eyes burn, my head is pounding and dizzy, I don’t feel like eating, my throat hurts… just miserable. I keep fighting back nausea… it feels like my body is trying to expel the pollen.
But I’m working today and completely stressed out trying to fix things that popped up in my absence.
It’s apparently still whiny Wednesday in my world.
To make matters worse… I got on the scale this morning and weigh only ½ a pound less than what I weighed on January 1st. Apparently, what I’m doing ain’t cutting it.
Of course, we’ve had a lot of social eating over the past month and that HAS to stop, both from a financial standpoint and a weight loss standpoint. I've eaten too much and spent too much and it's just not worth it.
I wish I could just quit eating cold turkey. (“then heat it up.” yukka yukka)
Every other addiction you just STOP altogether. You have to eat to live. But I am going to cut out meat for a bit. Seriously. I was praying about it this morning (or, more accurately, whining before the Lord) and I felt really strongly led to give up eating all meat except fish. I bargained, “fish and chicken” and was reminded in my spirit of how many hormones are in chicken. So no chicken.
I’ve decided there will be no “free day” every week. Maybe once a month. I’m going to eat on my birthday… and on Cody’s wedding day… and other than that, no sugar, no meat, nothing fried or processed.
I’m done playing like I need to lose 20 pounds. I need to lose 100 pounds. I need to be for real about it.
Just had a talk with Theresa about holding each other accountable about exercise. I need to get moving.
I just feel like I’m trapped in a case that holds me down. Like… I need to let the real me, the ambitious, creative person that I really am, out of the cage.
Think about it… could you carry 100 pounds very far? That’s what my body carries every day… an extra 100 pounds. It’s insane. No wonder I’m exhausted.
It’s really going to take an enormous determination and strong will to get moving… especially until some of the weight comes off. It’s gonna be hard and I’ve been afraid of “hard” lately.
But it’s sorta like the poo making the grass green… in order to get the result I want, it’s gonna stink for a bit.
Poo makes the grass grow. That’s what I’ve got to think about.
Goodbye gravy biscuits! Our love affair is ending. I’m moving on to stinky things.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

praise for poo

I love nature. I'm not a tree hugger or anything like that but I am infinitely appreciative of the beauty of the world around me. I love the colors of spring. I love driving through my "neck of the woods" and seeing the beautiful lush green pastures... the gorgeous mountains... the incredible views...

Until I moved here I didn't really understand how those pastures got to be so green... but now... riding with the windows down... there is an inescapable reality of fertilizer. Poo. Our beautiful scenery smells like poo.

And then today it hit me: Poo makes things beautiful. All of this natural beauty that surrounds me comes from icky dirt, smelly poo, the pollen the makes me miserable and.... rain. All those ugly things add together to make the beautiful world I live in.

And so it is with all of us... if we didn't experience a little ugliness every now and then, we'd never reach our full beautiful potential.

Monday, April 5, 2010

editorials

Tiger Woods... John Edwards... Jesse James... Jon Gosselin.... Michael Darby... they're all the same: men who believe they operate under an invisibility cloak. Be sure your sins will find you out. Tiger's apology tour is pathetic. Jesse James and his rehab - more pathetic. Michael "we helped each other get out of our marriages" the most pathetic of them all.

I found myself thinking this morning about the women who give an outlet to these egomaniacal figures. Where is their self-respect? Do they really think it makes them special to be able to win the affections of a married man? Who wants a man you can't trust? And who wants to be sloppy seconds? To the victor goes the spoils.

This came to mind just now as I was glancing through the headlines looking for info on the Easter Earthquake. Nope. Natural disaster that impacts millions - relegated to the bottom of the page. Man who commits depraved acts of infidelity - headline.

Been a stupidly busy day but it's almost over and I'm going to curl up in my nest with my laptop and remote and cringe at Kate Gosselin's efforts at dancing. good times.

love and hugs, y'all!

you're not missing much

I didn't post over the weekend because there wasn't much to say. Lazy - super lazy - restful - barely moved from my nest - kind of weekend. It was much needed. I'm still exhausted. The pollen count ridiculously high and my allergies are off the chart. I can't breathe. My eyes are burning. My head is killing me and I *think* my blood pressure is high. I have that dizzy, mushy headed feeling.

Aren't you sorry I didn't post? Riveting stuff. Whine. Whine. Whine.

Crazy earthquake in San Diego! It's hit all points along that Pacific Ring of Fire, hasn't it? What's next, Alaska? Georgia is on a fault line, it's just not very active.

We're a man down here at the office today or I'd be thinking about taking the afternoon off. I'm gonna tough it out. My attendance is better than last year but still leaves a lot to be desired. I need to toughen up. I mean, after all, Monday is half over!

More from the Tales of Little Bit the Ferocious Warrior Kitty - he has adopted a little black scrunchie as his security blanket. He takes it everywhere he goes. He likes you to hold him like a baby with his belly pointed up while you rub his belly and chest. He puts his two front paws together like he's playing. He always needs a nap after he eats... he still prefers to lay on my chest when he naps.

Ding! There's my lunch! Have a great afternoon!

Friday, April 2, 2010

great quote that sums up exactly what I believe!

You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

Dr. Adrian Rogers

Yabba Dabba Dooo where are you?

It’s always harder to work when it’s a holiday everywhere but in my office. Good Friday… a day that I consider far more holy than Christmas… but hardly noticed by some. I guess if we had a Good Friday gift giving tradition more people would take notice. As it is… we overlook the day that commemorates the greatest gift that was ever given to us. Just another day. Schools are out in Habersham (the county where I work) but not in White (the county where I live). Our office is open, like most businesses. Banks are open. Mail gets delivered. I think we take more notice of the day that Elvis died than the day that Christ died.

So I’m here … and working at getting my mind set for work. Someone just asked if I’m ok. I’m fine. I’m great. I’m just in a state of quiet reflection. And tired. It’s been a long week. We had a busy weekend last weekend and I’m dragging. Not much on my plate for this weekend. Getting Austin ready for his week at his grandparents. Easter Service at church. Peace and quiet. I’m tired. I need a break. It’s been so long since I had a real vacation. I’ve had tons of sick days scattered over the past year but no real vacation. No real time off just for R&R. It’s catching up with me. I’m stuffy and my eyes are burning and my face itches from allergies. I have a little cough. Just a little. Not too bad. It was more noticeable yesterday.

I got to work early this morning. It was unintentional. Just happened. Gave me a few minutes to collect my thoughts here.

Bitty kitty woke me up at 5am trying to bite my butt. I don’t know why. He climbed UNDER the covers and apparently I looked like a good juicy teething ring. He’s a little trouble maker. He loves to climb on the little side table beside my nest and find some little treasure to carry off. He has created a little fort for himself under my tv stand and he takes all his pirated booty there. He thinks that is home base for him. He will “hide” in his fort and grab at Stubby when he goes by as if Stubby can’t reach him. His other favorite game is to climb up on my stepladder and play king of the mountain with Stubby. Stubby’s not so very nimble. I found a red ribbon, a hair band and a pita chip in the fort this morning. One way to get Bitty Kitty in line is to whimper. He can’t stand it. He puts his paw over my lips to try to stop it. If that doesn’t work, he’ll lick my face. He’s a sweet kitty… but he’s acting like a crazy toddler right now. He hasn’t learned the rules yet. He’s starting to understand “no” but he’s not as good as Stubby about it.

One other thing… I’m realizing how many of my pj pants / loungewear has dangling strings. Every time I go to the bathroom Bitty Kitty tries to climb the drawstrings to get into my lap. Sharp, uncontrolled kitten claws on bare skin = unpleasant potty time.

Ryan bought his plane ticket to come home for Cody’s wedding. I was shocked at the price – much cheaper than I would have thought, especially over Memorial Day weekend. He’s paying $179 round trip from Allentown, PA to Atlanta, GA. Makes me want to book a flight out to see him this summer!

I was shocked to learn – but shouldn’t have been – that there is a White County Agricultural Hall of Fame. Apparently the top farmers in the county are added. When you google it, you mostly see it listed in obits.

I mailed in my census form today. Sometimes it’s still weird to be part of a household of two. It will be even stranger when it’s just me and the kitties. I went from living in a house with five kids… to having three kids… to being with Michael and our Brady bunch blended family of anywhere between 1 and 7 boys at a time… to it being just me and Doodle Bug.

Well… let the weekend countdown begin… Yabba Dabba Doo time can’t get here early enough for me today… beautiful Spring day… I’m ready to get out and enjoy! Y’all have a great Easter weekend! Love and hugs!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

pictures of cute kitties and cute kiddies


My fur boys in the nest

ignore the junk behind the pepto bismol colored recliner... thought the babies were so cute cuddling and playing together that i didn't stop to tidy up


Doodle bug with his new pokemon cheat magazine. And they say that kids don't read these days!



Sarabeth with her ballet hair reading a book while waiting for dance class




Jamie-gurl with her ballet hair, also reading - because SHE CAN!



NOOOOO! MOMMY! Don't leave me!!! bitty kitty hooks on to anything that dangles... this morning it was my keys








they really do love each other...

thankful thursday

I was so exhausted and headache-y yesterday afternoon... but I went to church anyways and it was definitely a blessing. Doing Beth Moore's Loving Well and it's something I really needed.

Four years ago today I went on a blind date with the man who would become my second husband. We laughed about the stigma of an April Fool's relationship. Who was the bigger fool? So thankful to be a year and a half removed from that nightmare.

Got a call yesterday from the brother of my children's grandfather. I thought Papa Ned was an only child. It turns out he had a half dozen half siblings and step siblings. I learned a lot about that branch of my kids' family tree. It sounds like my kids' dad has a lot of the same character traits of his grandfather. Generational sin is no joke, folks. It's the best reason I can think of to live right.

My allergies are in full bloom today. I woke up choking on slime. Good times.

I'm tired. This has been a long week - and yet - I can't believe it's already Thursday.

Gonna finish the glam routine and hit the road. Love and hugs, happy Thursday, y'all.