My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

here's the story...

Lots to blog about today... may be just in snippets as I chase rabbits... I've got three whole days to recap!

Saturday was awesome. We attended a memorial service at North Georgia College and State University in Dahlonega (the next town to the west of us). This service was organized by the Atlanta Vietnam Veterans Businessmen Association, the same folks who erected the memorial to the kids' grandfather in Atlanta. This service was to honor the 26 people who had attended that school and died in Vietnam. It was nice... held out on the parade grounds in the middle of the campus, bright sunny day, lots of God, country, family, honor kind of stuff.

After the service Austin's dad and his girlfriend came over and helped move the big tv from the living room to Austin's room. Since Austin didn't have a tv in his room, he had been camping out in the living room which meant that my living room looked like a teenager's bedroom. I'm excited to have my living room back.

Then.... we all went out to eat like one big happy dysfunctional family... me, Austin, Cody, Marquee, Robert and Faye. Good times. To keep things cordial, I didn't mention child support and I paid for dinner for everyone except Robert and Faye. It was just easier that way. I want the kids to be able to enjoy both parents at the same time without it being stressful. My issues with Robert are MY issues. When he is doing the right things... by being engaged with his kids... I'm not going to brow beat him about the tens of thousands of dollars he owes in back child support.

After all of that, I was worn out. There was a lot of walking outside in the VERY bright sun and I was sunburned... had a headache... my feet hurt and mychest was full of junk. I spent yet another Sunday completely relaxed (i.e. skipped church) and tried to do the best I could to heal, chill, and prepare for the week.

Austin was exhausted as well... but I pushed him to finish up purging the living room of his mess. It was his mess. He resisted. Then he lied about having done it and got mad when I discovered the truth. He was in such a foul temper. His friend Zack came over and helped him finish up so he could go to his house to play playstation. I was glad to have Austin out of the house, to be honest. He had been sort of a butt all weekend and I was tired of arguing with him. Austin was supposed to leave his friend's number - he showed me where it was in the caller ID on our phone and also acted as if he was programming it into my cellphone.

These became important details later... because after dozing off around nine pm, I woke up at 11:30 and realized Austin wasn't home yet. Zack's number wasn't in my cellphone. The house phone was missing. I paged it... no beep. Our place isn't that big. So that meant that Austin either hid it our took it with him. I had no idea how to get in touch with Zack... no idea where he lives... didn't even know his last name.

Thus began a seven hour odyssey of worrying, watching, waiting, praying, trying to figure out the best course of action. I didn't want to dispatch an APB when most likely, Austin had just fallen asleep where he was and decided not to come home in the middle of the night. Probably. But there was that nagging... "what if"... we live in a super safe community. There is some meth traffic and a small drug element that you find in every small rural area but there is almost no crime here. There are bears and other wild animals, though, and he would have been more likely to come across something like that than a criminal element.

I mentioned the story of the girl with Asperger's who got lost in the Florida swamp last week and who, fortunately, was found alive after four days. This is a common issue with Asperger's kids... they wander. I talked to Austin about this last week and how I had spent so many hours worrying about him being lost over the years and he said... typical aspergers.... "I've never been lost". Although there have been dozens of times that I was stressed by not knowing where he was, he has ALWAYS known where he was so he is unable to understand why it's upsetting to me.

Around six am I got my shower, got dressed and prepared to interrogate the kids at the busstop to figure out Zack's name, where he lives, get a phone number, etc. Then I remembered that I still had Austin's old girlfriend, tasha's cellphone number on my phone and sent her a text. She responded back within ten minutes with Zack's number and she had talked to him. It turned out that Austin had sprained his ankle and was unable to walk home. He tried calling the house number (he said) but it was dead. He couldn't remember my cellphone number. There was no adult in the house (I'll remember THAT the next time he asks to go over there) until the middle of the night when Zack's mom got off work and she was not willing to bring Austin home then (reportedly).

Frankly, Austin doesn't have the capacity for empathy to understand why all of this was troubling for me and was MAD... I mean, FURIOUS... that I was mad at him! It's insane. But that, my friends, is what it means to live with someone with autism. His ankle is badly sprained. I didn't take him to the doctor because it was obviously JUST a sprain. We both stayed home yesterday... him because of his ankle, me because I was completely emotionally and physically exhausted. yay. Another day of lost wages. Just what I needed.

So... that's what's been happening around here. I'm still battling the chest crud so the extra day of rest was probably not a bad thing for me, health wise. I slept from 7am until 11am yesterday morning and then was back asleep at 8pm last night (which means I missed Dancing with the Stars). I feel like I have a lead weight attached to my chest... it's no fun... but I'm heading into the office today and I'm determined to do everything I need to do.

Bitty Kitty is busy chasing his shadow again... which means the sun is coming up! Hope you all have a great day!


Bookncoffee said...

Wow that would have scared and worried me silly. Glad he was ok. I was off yesterday due to my ear and another issue, but head back in today. I watched Dancing with the Stars. It was good. Everyone did fantastic, except for Kate was really really really slow in her dancing. I'm thinking this might be her week to head home. But she has a following.

Annie said...

I'm happy that Austin is back home and in good health, except for his ankle. Try to get more rest. ~Annie

Lainey Laine said...

Awwwwww your brilliant! Brilliant for going out with your ex for your kids and not getting mad at him over the maintenance payments! I couldnt do that! Im glad Austin was ok in the end! Hope you get lots of rest! Laine xx

mawmaw said...

I am sure you remember the days he got lost coming home from school and the day the angel dog brought him home.