Good news! I survived! My surgery on May 25th - two weeks ago tomorrow - was a whopping success. I mean, I guess it was a success in that I left there uterus-less and did not die from being held upside down. There were some dramatic moments such as a "must empty bladder to leave hospital" decree that had me arguing with nurses for four hours over 100ccs of urine. I won the draw when I said, "do you have one of those scanners that can tell if my bladder is empty? Go get it.". Once they realized that 100ccs was indeed, all of the urine my bladder had contained after drinking two liters of water (this is not my typical exaggeration) they agreed to release me. I had one nurse who was so precious to me that she returned on day two of my stay despite passing kidney stones... and one who was so evil that I called her "evil" when I filed a complaint, less than a half hour after coming out of anesthesia. Even when I'm down and out, I'm still sharper than most. Her mistake was to bypass giving me the ordered post-operative medications because - in her words - I am a "chronic pain patient and nothing will touch her pain anyways". I was awake. And heard. And demanded to be treated appropriately (I was, with morphine and yes, it did work) and asked for her supervisor.... who held my hands in hers and explained that I had "such very low blood pressure" that they were waiting as long as they could to give me pain medicine. Whatevs. So... yes. That was two weeks ago. And I am (as of today) driving and mostly back to normal. There's one little spot that isn't healing as pretty as I would like but... it's not like I'm going to ever wear a bikini again (you're welcome) so... it's ok. That being held upside down thing - they really do hang you by your legs in stirrups with your head at about 45 degrees lower than your body. Something about gravity moving the other organs out of the way. It was my greatest fear, even greater than fearing pain. I mean, because there is more of a gravitational pull on me, if you get what I mean... My anesthesiologist promised that he would keep me alive and he did so... there's that.
Anyways... I hadn't said much for awhile here. I've been sort of introspective and not out of sorts but definitely not myself. I saw the pain doctor yesterday and he thinks I'm doing fabulously and gave me lots more meds which I hope I never need but I'm glad to have them available if I did. I'm not at full steam yet but I'm feeling better than I've felt in a long time. When I feel good, I have a lot to say so... there you go. I'm still working hard on learning Italian - I didn't take a break from it at all. I'm up to about a thousand words, which duolingo counts as 7% fluency. I don't know about all of that but I am learning. And I'm happy to know that the old grey matter still retains language. And perhaps will even allow me to articulate for you kind folks again here every now and then. I hope you're all well. Leave me a long comment telling me the most important thing that has happened to you in the past month and the thing you're most looking forward to this summer. Until next time... love and hugs, y'all!