same stuff, different day

Wow. What a day! I think I'm starting my blog entries like that an awful lot lately...

The weather was gorgeous. It's surreal to go from snow to sunshine in two days... but that's Georgia for you!

I had a car picnic for lunch... a burger king kids meal with apple slices and apple juice.

After work I went to North Georgia BBQ with Jim, Angie and the girls. North Georgia BBQ is basically a little bbq shack with some picnic tables outside in Helen. Warm weather means that we can get bbq! I got there a little ahead of Jim and Angie but (of course) there was a couple there that I knew from church so I just sat and chatted with them while I waited. Then we just joined this couple...

One of the great things about being a "full-time aunt" instead of just a holiday/birthday aunt is the little routines we develop. Sarabeth always shares my meal at N Ga BBQ... she eats the garlic bread and the fries, I eat the meat and the cole slaw... as soon as I sat down she came over to take her place by my plate.

Jim went on to church for the Maundy Thursday service. They didn't have child care so Angie had planned not to go. Angie and I just sat there and soaked up the springtime sunshine... and caught up a bit... I'm so blessed to have a sister. That may not make sense to most of you but being the only girl out of five kids... I never really had that "sister" relationship. It's also great to watch the girls and their silly sister relationship... they're so sweet!

I gave the girls their big castle rug that mawmaw bought them... and sent home with me last weekend.... Sarabeth was amazed by it... Jamie was distracted by having to go potty.

I can't even remember what this post was supposed to be about. I'm chasing rabbits tonight, for sure. I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning... better get on to bed so I don't have trouble tomorrow too.

Sorry for the boring post... love and hugs, y'all!

my happy Wednesday

I couldn't do it every day but I do love my "leave work early" Wednesdays! The flip side is that I have to work on Saturday but... eh.... it's ok. I left work today and the sun was shining and everything was in bloom and colorful... I picked up some mushy veggies from the Cottage House... a little "meat and three" home cooking place... I picked up a loaf of bread from the Amish bakery... I came home, straightened up just a tiny little bit and then changed into my pjs. I'm in my nest with the *thankfully* still functioning laptop... my bible... my remote... my new Good Housekeeping magazine. God is good.

I'm watching old episodes of Jon and Kate. The kids are so cute but there's so much dysfunction that I never really noticed before. Reality tv is the modern day freak show. I don't mean that Jon and Kate are freaks... I just mean that we have this fascination with things that are out of the ordinary.

I know that I'm the dealer of a lot of "internet crack" and that I have gotten my long time blog readers hooked on a lot of cyber-addictions... but I have to say that I'm enjoying the twitter thing. At first I didn't really get it... it's better now. I have my "tweets" going straight to my cellphone now... which is cool. I hate to talk on the phone but I enjoy texts. Especially when the work day gets long and tedious...

I do have Whitney to keep me company during the workday, even though she's in Jacksonville. We bounce marketing ideas off of each other... ask each other questions... brag on our little successes... and just in general keep up with each other. I miss her! There's not much I miss about Jacksonville but I do miss Whitney!

I made the mistake of going into Austin's room this afternoon. I thought for one BRIEF second about cleaning it and then thought... why put myself through that stress? It will wait for him. We really do need to do a deep spring cleaning here.... but not today. I'm having one... more.... day... to rest. This is my "stay-cation" since I can't take a vacation... I'm chillin' out... ignoring the phone... ignoring the mess... having a break.

Hope you're all safe and happy and feelin' the love...

snow!

Do you hear that sound? *sigh* It's peace. I miss Austin. I promise, I do. Ok, the truth is that I have never been the kind of mom who mourns for her kids when they're away. I don't need to talk to them every day. I don't worry about them. The only exception to that is when I left Cody behind and moved to Jacksonville... but that was different... I didn't know that everything would be ok.... I didn't know anything would ever be ok in my life again. A week here and there... it's good. It's healthy. From the minute your babies are born you have to start preparing for the day they will leave the nest. So I miss Austin... the last one in my nest... but I'm enjoying a break.

His stupid cat, on the other hand, may not survive. My "inspirational thought for the day that gets written on the back of my hand" has been "CAT" for the past two days. I have to remember to feed Stubby the 3legged Wondercat and also Princess, Angie's completely unsociable cat. Princess comes with a disclaimer from Jamie, "don't touch her, she doesn't like people". However, Princess has learned that when I get to her house, her bowl gets filled. She welcomes me and it almost sounded like she was purring today. I still don't touch her. Stubby, on the other hand, is my siamese twin. Ick.

We had snow flurries all day. I love that - since I'm such a southern girl - that falling snow still makes me giggle like a sixth grade girl passing a note. The snow didn't accumulate at all and it never snowed very hard but it was SNOW! In April!

My ear/jaw pain has been off the charts today... coming in waves that take my breath away. I see the doctor next Tuesday. Meanwhile I'm sorta halfway doing the things that are supposed to make it hurt less but ... I've also sorta halfway given up on it.

Max on TMZ - the blonde one that I think is so cute - just made a comment that he is "no good at insurance". They were talking about how kids of sports stars usually grow up to be good at sports. Apparently he has a parent who sells insurance. *sigh* That endears him to me even more...

Such interesting characters come through my office. We had an article on the company website today that talked about how people in corporate America are getting themselves into trouble with facebook and twitter... so maybe I shouldn't share my "interesting client" stories. But I will. Last week I quoted insurance for an elderly man who was illiterate. It broke my heart. He needed to take the quote home to show his wife and I tried to make sure he understood it all. How? How in the world are there people living around us who are illiterate? Today I visited with a man whose son is a missionary to China. The son is coming home for a few months and needed a car - and insurance.

Time for American Idol... love and hugs, y'all!

Bring the Rain or snow?

There is a beautiful song that has been posted on Angie Smith's blog http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ with a new and incredibly powerful message. Because the song is from Selah's cd that will not be released until August, Angie only has permission to post the song until Tuesday, April 7th.

Tomorrow is the first anniversary of the day that Audrey Caroline was born and died. Many of you have followed Angie's story with me... so you can appreciate how beautiful this song must be to her.

I don't know what the copyright limitations are so I'm not posting all the lyrics as I normally would but here's a precious line from the song...

But when anything that’s shattered
Is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be
Unredeemed

Today I talked to an old friend (ok, she's not THAT old... we're the same age... what I mean is that I've known her a long time). She has been through a situation very similar to what I went through... down to the strange text... looking at the verizon bill and realizing that something isn't right... having her husband bring his girlfriend around the family. The difference is that her marriage lasted 21 years and she had three children with this guy. I cannot. Really can. not. imagine the heartache. People tell me all the time that I am strong. I think the strong ones are the ones who don't overdose because their husband tells them he doesn't love them. I think the strong ones are the ones who keep going and stay put and make a normal life for their kids. I ran. I fled. I bailed. I quit. It was one year of marriage for me. God bless the women who lose the love they shared for a lifetime. I can't imagine that kind of pain.

I'm not blue today. I'm just uniquely aware of pain around me. Feeling empathy. Knowing what it means to feel shattered. And also knowing the amazing strength that comes from surviving to put the pieces back together!

Today was another crazy Monday at work. I don't know what it is. I'm glad we have a lot of work, a lot of clients, I'm glad that there is stuff to do... but my head is spinning. My house, however, is blissfully quiet! I'm going to bed early tonight but tomorrow I have to actually do things like take out the trash and hang up my clean laundry and wash dishes. Not tonight. Tonight I'll nest.

Have you guys checked out my son Ryan's blog yet? It's sorta edgy so I haven't exactly pimped him... he writes honestly, just like I do... and sometimes I cringe at the "we were so trashed" sort of things. I'm also reading the blog of a certain young lady who has captured Booboo's heart. I'm posting both links here because I know my blogger babes/mother hens will enjoy these blogs like I do. I'm still waiting for Joshy to update his blog since returning from his honeymoon. I'm posting his link too. If you stop by one of these blogs, tell 'em I sent ya!

http://musicalmarie.blogspot.com/
http://paseminole.blogspot.com/
http://gtownsfuturemd.blogspot.com/

They're predicting snow for us tonight. I refuse to believe it. It is bitterly cold outside. Not Minnesota cold. But cold for April in Georgia. The wind is howling!

I have some emails and some comments to answer but I'm brain dead tonight.... gonna curl up in the nest and zzzzzzzzzz.
Love and hugs, y'all!

my great weekend - so far

Power cord #3 has crapped out on me but miraculously, power cord #2 is working again. I don't understand it but can't afford to fix things now. Anyone who wants to donate to the "Repair Heather's Laptop" fund are welcome to. I was ready to drop it off at the Geek Squad yesterday and all of a sudden their promise of $50 same day repair ballooned to $159 and three weeks. Thanks but no thanks. I'll just have to leave work early one day this week to go see the local guy and take my chances there.

Incidentally, there is also a "catch Heather's car payment up" fund and a "buy new tires" fund. *laugh* I'm stretched thin financially but God is good. I'm staying afloat although I may not be building the best credit rating, I'm hanging in there!

I have discovered (after six months, yes, I'm a slow learner) that my DISH network includes Sirius radio. I have been alternating between Broadway show musicals and Christian pop. Good times! My tv is pre-programmed to take me to the shows I want to watch. At 6pm TCM is playing one of my all time favorite movies - the original "Yours, Mine and Ours" starring Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda. If you haven't seen it, you MUST! It's adorable!

I skipped church this morning. Jim and Angie and Austin are all out of town. I just wanted to sleep until I couldn't sleep any more for once. I slept until 9am. It felt amazing! I had bought coffee yesterday (after being out for over a month) and an Atlanta Journal Sunday paper (early edition) and some of those incredible cinnamon twists at Publix so I had breakfast in bed with my newspaper. Indulgent, yes, but why not? Once in a blue moon...

Yesterday was just a wonderful day. Austin and I headed south to take him to mawmaw and pop's for a week. We stopped at Oodles of Noodles, this little restaurant that we discovered that serves (guess what?) all kinds of noodle dishes. They do asian (I had pad thai) and italian (he had shrimp scampi). We went to the Christian book store and I bought two books... one is on bible customs and curiousities - which is really interesting and makes the bible make more sense.

Once I dumped my kid on my parents... I went into my old hometown and just soaked up some of the old sites... the wisteria is in bloom so I visited all my favorite wisteria patches. I paid a bill. Went to the thrift store and bought two pairs of capris, two new dresses, four new shirts - all for $21! I spent quite awhile in the thrift store but it's great think time for me.

As I left the thrift store I got a call from Cory... he had too much to do to hang out with me but offered to meet me for a few minutes.... we spent those few minutes shopping at Walmart! We spend hours on the phone every day so it was kinda weird to be live and in person but you know... if you enjoy the person, even the mundane is fun.

I headed back to the hills but stopped off at the last Publix before leaving civilization and stocked up with a few of my favorites... then drove thru Chickfila for dinner (and a salad for lunch today!) I had a great time just singing along to the radio and having some time of uninterrupted thought and meditation and prayer. Really... a very good day!

Barry gave me a half-hearted "maybe" about coming up to visit today. He also said he'd let me know when he got off work yesterday so we could hang out for a bit and I haven't heard from him yet. It's just how it works with him. I'm not the least bit concerned. God brings the right people into my life at the right time and I'm more than happy. God is good.

I'm not sure how much this craptop will cooperate... but I have the twitter thing posted to my blog so you can get those updates. I haven't been able to figure out how to get tweets on my cellphone or how to update the facebook status from my cell... but there's at least a way that you'll know I'm still alive! I'm looking forward to a peaceful week - even if I'm not off work.

have a beautiful Sunday! love and hugs, y'all!

teenager for sale

The phone is ringing and I'm not answering it so if it's you, I'm sorry.

People are getting on my nerves today. Ok. Not all people. But enough people that I am done with people for the day. Email me. Oh. I have a couple of emails that I haven't responded to. I will. Later. Right now I'm just grumpy.

I am so sick of Austin not doing his chores. So sick. Today I screamed myself hoarse at him. I'm not really a screamer. Usually when I'm angry I speak soft and slow thru clenched teeth. Austin has had the same chore expectations since the day we moved in here. He has YET to have completed them before I get home. What's worse... when I come home and get on to him about his chores he gets mad at ME for fussing at him. I'm so done. I feel like I traded one prison for another. I'm not a slave driver. His chores essentially consist of him cleaning up behind himself. Horrible things like... not throwing his clothes and shoes in the middle of my living room.... Yes, I'm a mean mother. Today I told him that if his chores were done when I got home that we'd order pizza. They weren't done. We aren't ordering pizza. He asked if we could order once he finished his chores. That wasn't the offer... if his chores were DONE when I got home. He just doesn't get the whole concept of following directions. When he got ugly with me about his no pizza punishment I told him he could spend his spring break at home learning how to do chores.

Now. Seriously. I am not really interested in keeping him here during spring break. He wants to see his dad - who he hasn't seen since Thanksgiving since his dad stood him up on Christmas. He wants to visit with mawmaw and pop. I want/need a break. I went from the hospital to the stress of finding a job and a home to the stress of being in the midst of being a single, full-time working mom. I haven't had the opportunity to catch my breath. I've dealt with a series of illnesses for the past year that have been unrelenting. I. need. a. break. But I also need something that will get his attention.

So now... he's in his room pouting. Not cleaning, not trying to earn grace... just having a good old fashioned tantrum. That's ok. You can't out-tantrum me!

Whatever happened to thankful Thursday? Hmmm... let me see what I can work up... it was another crazy busy day at work. I sold a life policy... it's about $50 worth of commission... not huge but it's $50 I didn't have before. If I could sell one policy like that a day, I would actually be able to pay all my bills in the same month I incurred them. What a novel idea!

I really wanted pizza for dinner. That whole thing, "this hurts me more than it hurts you..." sometimes holds true.

random wednesday

If you feed a goat grass seed he will fertilize your yard.

Goat poop is pellets, not piles. The seed mixes with the poop and grows a nice lawn. And then the goat can trim it for you. That's the ultimate in recycling!

Deer poop is also pellets.

I learned this in Bible Study tonight. I love my Bible Study girls! It's the best hen party around.

We talk about more than just poop. But our conversations do turn toward goats an awful lot.

I really feel like a city girl in there.

Watching the American Idol results show.

I mailed my signed divorce papers back to Duval County today.

I went to the post office in Cleveland to mail them. When I came out there were some beautiful tulips. I bent down to get a good angle for the shot and I remembered some other tulips... in Boston... my birthday three years ago... when Michael and I were in the "honeymoon" phase of our relationship and he was still my Prince Charming and I was still Cinderella. There was a beautiful patch of tulips and I knelt to get a good shot... and he took a picture of me taking a picture of the tulips. I think it was his favorite picture of me. I don't have that picture any more or I would share it...

But as I knelt to capture the perfect tulip shot I remembered that other time... and I laughed. God has such a perfect way of bringing things full circle.

April 1, 2006 was our first date. April 1, 2009 I answered his petition for divorce.

Duane notorized my paperwork for me... he asked, "is this an emotional thing?" Because he's such a guy's guy... but he's smart enough to realize that girls are emotional about such things... and he's compassionate enough to realize that it might not be the happiest of moments for me. I answered honestly, "no, I'm past the emotion. this is just the paperwork".

It really was. Just paperwork.

My heart of hearts knew that the big joke was on me, three years ago. I'm sad for what we put ourselves through. I'm sad that it couldn't be fixed... but...

I watched Jamie walk into the fellowship hall tonight and watched her search the room... and when she made eye contact with me her face lit up and she started skipping over to see me.

Of course, I should mention that Jamie being Jamie, she got distracted over by the salad bar and I didn't get my "squeeze" until after dinner... but Sarabeth came right over with hugs... and I got to have dinner with Bubba and Angie and Abbie and Ciara and Natalie...

My friend Natalie is leaving tomorrow for Switzerland.

My brother Bryan and his girlfriend Candice leave tomorrow for Paris.

Bubba, Angie and the girls are going on a camping/mission trip next week.

Austin will be with my parents for Spring Break.

It's gonna be lonely here in these hills. I thought about taking a road trip somewhere but then I thought... hmmm... staying home... I'm gonna enjoy myself. After all, I have to work next week... no spring break for me...

Our church is compiling a book of people who have experienced answered prayer.

We're invited to write an essay telling about a time where we are certain God answered our prayers... my challenge... how do I tell my story in a way that is suitable for all audiences? I would have to leave out a lot... and my conviction is that I can only tell my story when/if I can tell it in a way that doesn't slander Michael. As I was praying about how to approach this... I felt in my heart that the answer is to write the essay and then let Michael read it. If it doesn't make him feel uncomfortable, then it would be ok to share. Isn't that the real demonstration of a changed life, letting go of my dogged determination to tell everything I know everywhere I go regardless of how it impacts others in my world? How could I write something that is intended to glorify God if it hurts someone else? Anyone else.

Ryan reconnected with an old friend while he was here over the last week. It's a girl who he knew in elementary school. Way back in 5th grade I would tell him, "Marie sure is a cutie...." "I think you should like Marie...." and finally... they went out. He's smitten. I think she is too. Does it make me a stalker mom if I'm reading her blog? She worries that by reading her blog I'll think she's crazy...

Little does she know, right?

Ryan's mom loves crazy.

Have a great evening. Love and hugs, y'all!