The Results Are In...

Well. The results of the functional capacity evaluation are in and they are not going to strengthen my case or help me to find a new lawyer. The summary on the first page says, "Based on this evaluation, the client is capable of sustaining the Light level of work for an 8 hour day/40 hour week."

Since I left from the test yesterday I haven't been able to so much as blink without pain.
When I stopped working in May I wasn't able to even work two hours without significant pain - to the extent that it affected my concentration.
In the past year you could count on one hand the number of times I've been able to go out to eat because sitting causes so much pain.

But hey... good news... I got an A for effort. It says, "Client participated fully in all tasks. No self-limiting behavior noted." It also says, "there is weak evidence of low effort and inconsistent behavior." In other words, I wasn't faking it. And it says, "pain statements were consistent with observed movement patterns."

Here's where it doesn't make sense for me. It indicates that my work should be limited as following:
sitting - occasionally
standing - occasionally
kneeling - never
walking - occasionally
climbing stairs - never
Ok, if I'm not sitting, standing, walking or kneeling, what exactly am I supposed to do?

My major areas of dysfunction are dynamic strength and position tolerance. Again... in an 8 hour day how do you avoid staying in the same position? And how do you have light duty without sitting except for occasionally?

"Patient gave good effort throughout the test. Validity of effort was good with decreased strength, position tolerance and endurance all effected."

but it also says, "No major changes in ROM*/strength testing from pre to post test." Those conflicting statements are in the same section.
It also says I was limping when I left the test. After two hours. But I would be capable of an 8 hour work day.

So... obviously, this makes it even less likely for my case to be successful. I am going to begin the process of searching for a new attorney because I can't see how this would encourage my previous attorney to assume my case again. Since Social Security didn't request this exam, this doesn't HAVE to be submitted in my case but can you imagine how sick I am about the cost of this evaluation knowing that it hurts, instead of helping my case? Seriously. Makes me want to throw up.

I see my pain doctor again in December. Knowing that it will be several months at least before my case goes before a judge gives me time to discuss this with both my general practitioner and the pain doctor to see what they recommend.

I deleted my "woe is me, I'm so broke" post from yesterday because I couldn't stand re-reading that pity party. This is all super discouraging and frustrating - living with so much pain on a daily basis and having virtually no written medical validation just really sucks. I get lots of prescriptions for pain-killers and they happily take my money every month... I'm disabled enough to need Princess Parking and my doctor is super sympathetic while I'm there in the office... but my medical records are doing nothing to back me up on this.

It's a hard row to hoe but this ain't my first garden. I've done far more with far less and lived to tell about it. I'm a smart girl and I'll figure this out. I'm going to do the things I can do - try to find a new attorney, talk to the doctors, and just keep waking up every morning. In the words of the fabulous Shelby Eatenton Latcherie from Steel Magnolias, "there are still good times to be had".

I'm going to concentrate on being able to be with the fam over Thanksgiving...
look forward to Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and all the fun Broadway shows on in the parade (and now I can use DVR so I don't have to worry about missing it!)...
we're going to get mama and daddy moved up here to the mountain house and settled in...
we'll be decorating for Christmas soon. Heck, I may go ahead and decorate the Whine Cellar this week. It will be a great distraction.
I'm leveling up like a mad-woman on Farmville2.
I've added another couple hundred ancestors this week on my family tree.
I just got my cousin's wedding invitation in the mail today... we're going to the chapel, y'all!
My kid is finally going to get to see the mountain house when he and the lovely Sara come down for Christmas.
My tv will be here soon and we'll have tv in the Whine Cellar (and maybe even satellite tv? Please Pop?)
I've got this fabulous new budget busting laptop.
Austin's got a date tonight with the lovely Miss Charity.
I've got three sweet kitty cats who depend on me.
We're going to have snow this Winter, I just know it!
I'm making a lemon poppy seed pound cake this week.
My daughter-in-law is graduating from college next month.

And... I'm sure if I tried really hard I could think of another hundred "good times to be had" ahead. I'm major bummed but I'll be ok. I'm broke but I'm not broken. I'm weary but there is still breath in my body. I'm confident that by the time I meet His Honor, Mr. Disability Judge, I'll be able to convince him that I'm deserving of disability pay. And in the meantime, I'm just going to do everything I can to love life.

Love and hugs, y'all.