Nana Life: Cosy Day!

It's 4am and I'm having a cup of hot apple cider and reflecting on yesterday. This time of night/morning I have weird thoughts like, "I should buy one of those atomic beam flashlights for everyone for Christmas". I'm not saying I will. This isn't a spoiler. I'm just saying at this time of night I'm easily convinced of a universal need for such products. Good job advertisers. You got me.

I didn't sleep at all Wednesday night. Ok. Maybe little pockets of sleep here and there but I saw every hour on the clock and I saw big chunks of each hour. Little pockets / big chunks = acceptable measurement of time in my world. Last night I slept from maybe 9pm to 11pm. I went back to sleep but woke up again at 1, then 2, then 2:30 and then I gave up. I am working from a massive sleep deficit. Sleep - deep sleep - allows the body to repair the small muscle tears that happen during normal every day activity. Not having deep sleep for two nights in a row means increased pain levels, especially so someone like me with fibromyalgia, chronic pain, autoimmune issues... The day after Cosy Day also means increased pain levels. I'm a hot mess right now but I'll survive.

Here's the recap from yesterday - I didn't take as many pictures as I usually do since Cosy wasn't feeling well and since I was so tired and dragging but I still got way too many photos!

We picked baby girl up from our regular pick-up/drop-off spot. We got there early, mom was already there and ready for us, which is nice. It's the little things like that which make the process easier.

I added a little gas in the car I was driving because I didn't want the tank to be low if Pop needed to use the car later. This was a bit of an ordeal because I went to the new gas station by Walmart and the pump was confusing. There's a diesel pump handle with another pump handle right beside it. I know diesel is BAAAAD and not what goes in our car so I wanted to stay as far away as I could. There were three other options so I chose the least expensive of those. While I was pumping my gas I actually READ what the instructions said... and it turns out the handle beside the diesel handle was for customers who weren't using a Walmart card of some type to make their purchase. That gas cost 40 cents more per gallon than the advertised price (price that made me decide to buy gas there). I was using a pump that required a Walmart card of some sort, which was for the cheapest advertised price, the price on the sign that made me decide to buy gas there. I thought... wow... great... now I'm going to finish pumping and need to go in to explain to the attendant that I don't read instructions. This is a massive inconvenience because Cosette is hungry and we are hungry and I have massive dry mouth because I forgot to bring a drink along with me. But then... I finished pumping and nothing happened. It went back to the welcome screen. I hesitated because I thought, "am I stealing since I wasn't qualified for the cheaper gas? Are they going to track me down?" And then I decided to deal with that later and just go ahead and go to breakfast. I was really operating on far too little sleep.

Then we went to Huddle House. Cosette was not as content as she usually is about staying in her highchair. She reached for me and I instinctively picked her up to hold her and her dad got mad at me. He thought she wouldn't want to go back into the high chair. I let her sit beside me in the booth and play with my little tube of hand cream from my purse. Cosy is obsessed with taking the lid off and then screwing the lid back on OVER and OVER again. Her hand is so tiny that the cap of the lotion is the size of her entire palm... so she has to lay the cap on the table to get it in her hand *just right* and then she puts it on. We practiced saying, "Open. Close. Open. Close." I got "Ope. OOOOOS. Ope. OOOOS." out of her. I think. We put her back in the high chair and she ate about half of a pancake - which is a lot for a tiny girl. Then she was restless again so her dad put her beside him in the booth. He offered her a mushroom from his plate (a mushroom cooked with steak... mmmmm!) and she loved it and kept asking for more. He didn't have many left but she loved those mushrooms so much that she clapped after she ate them. He offered her the whipped cream off of her pancake (forgot to ask for it plain) and every time he'd offer her a bite she's shake her head "no". I think that's a new one for her... the "no".

We were contemplating going to story time at the library but I was honestly just too tired. I was afraid to sit anywhere for long because if I got sleepy it was all over. My Aunt Ginger and Uncle Carl were coming up to spend the day so we decided to head back home.

I think I've mentioned how our new covered porch makes an excellent playpen. Not a "leave the child unattended" playpen because the slats in the railings are space wide enough apart that Cosette could fit through if she tried... but enough of a playpen that we can just get comfy and watch her play without having to get up and redirect her away from stairs or the cat litter or anything else her curious little self might get into. We spent a big part of the day out on the porch.

Austin took her down to my living room for a nap on the day bed but she didn't nap long. She has a really stuffy nose and when her pacifier was in her mouth she couldn't breathe. She can't sleep without her paci. We tried several times during the day to let her get another nap in and she just couldn't. Nana understands how rough it is to be sleepy and tired and exhausted and just not be able to sleep. Fa schifo! (it sucks).

We went back up to the covered porch to hang out with Mawmaw and Ginger and Carl. She had her lunch up there - two string cheese sticks, a banana and a bag of dried apples. She wanted SO VERY BADLY to drink my sweet tea from Chickfila but Mommy and Daddy say no to that. She asked for that cup all. day. long. She would eventually give up and drink water but then a few minutes later she would go back to asking for the tea. We ordered pizza for lunch for the grownups - but as per usual I don't eat lunch when we have Cosy. If I combine pain with a higher activity level, not to mention getting overheated by playing so hard with baby girl - I get really sick. Throw up sick. I dislike throw up sick so I just don't eat if I am in a lot of pain and can't just "chill" until my food settles.

During the hottest part of the day we came back inside and we brought Cosy back down to my living room and let her explore down here. She colored with crayons, wrote on the porch (my porch floor is poured concrete) with sidewalk chalk, wrote on the cat with sidewalk chalk, watched Sofia the First, played ball, sat in the swing with me, built things with the squares from her letter mat.

She played with my makeup brushes - which is funny because she's maybe seen me put on makeup once or twice in her whole life and her mom doesn't wear makeup but Cosette still knew what to do with the makeup brushes!

She found a package of alligator clip bows that I've been saving for her. The clip is too big and rough to clip onto her elastic headbands. She doesn't have enough hair yet to gather it into a clip. So she took the bows and put them in daddy's hair... and daddy pinned bows to her clothes which frustrated her!

She found my old cheap cheaters (reading glasses) and put them on like sunglasses and wanted to go outside. The grass was itchy to her feet so she had her dad carry her. Then she directed him to take her to the flowers so she could pick flower petals... which she then threw up into the air and giggled as they drifted to the ground. This is something we did last week so I'm surprised she remembered. She's a smart girl!

We spent a hour or so doing all of those things and several times attempted to get her to sleep but that stuffy nose... she couldn't lay flat. I tried bouncing with her. She would lay her head on my shoulder and would get sooooo close to going to sleep but breathing through her stuffy nose was just too frustrating/distracting and she would wake right back up.

We went back to the covered porch to hang out for the rest of the afternoon. It was a warm day but we have fans out there and there was a good breeze coming across. We stripped baby girl to her diaper and let her play in water. I have a problem with naked babies so I added a little bikini top to protect her modesty in the pictures in this blog where she is topless. It was good to hang out with my aunt and uncle. Jamie came over after school to hang with us and it was just a nice informal family get-together.

Because Cosy didn't get a good nap, we asked Tasha if she wanted to pick her up a little early... and in exchange let us have Cosy long enough to have an early dinner with her - i.e. just have a little visit - on Sunday afternoon as that is Austin's short day. He gets off at 2. She agreed... and also agreed to pick her up at our house - which was awesome because I didn't have to get back out or leave our company... and it all felt like such great progress. I'm really grateful. We don't know what the near future is going to look like with my mom's cancer... Austin's time off from work gets flipped around a lot during the holidays... having a little flexibility is going to be really important and I'm really grateful that Tasha was willing to work with us yesterday. And of course, it benefits her too because she was worried about Cosy since she was sick and hadn't napped well. It was a win-win for everybody, but especially for Cosy. Every time her parents are able to come to an agreement about ... anything ... I consider it a victory for Cosy.

After baby girl went home... and Jamie's parents picked her up... we got Chinese takeout for dinner and after that I crashed. But I didn't sleep well so I'm hoping today with be one of those days that I can just rest in the nest and nap if I need to.