The 8th and 9th of July

Let me just start this by saying, "ugh".
My back pain is off the charts... searing, hot pain.
I feel like I have cotton stuffed in my chest. Not coughing... just tight, in an asthmatic way.
I am having major anxiety about the disability paperwork. It is so overwhelming.

Austin came upstairs at midnight last night to tell me his carpet was wet. The kid spills so many drinks, I assumed that was the cause. He sleeps on a mattress on the floor. He has had a bed. More than one bed. He tears them up. After the fire he refused the free bed frame that came with his new mattress and box springs that the insurance was paying for and since we were moving into a smaller apartment, I didn't have anywhere to store a bed frame so we went with box springs and mattress on the floor. It took only a few months for him to completely break the box spring which left him just this (once very nice, expensive) mattress which he has drug from pillar to post with him over the past two years. And now this (once very nice) mattress is laying on damp carpet that... we have no idea how long it's been damp. And you don't have to be a genius to figure out what happens when you have water on cloth for a long time. It's been wet long enough that the springs in the mattress are rusted. So. Midnight crisis = adrenaline = not sleeping.

Fortunately I figured out that Big Brother After Dark is on a channel that we actually have here and so I watched that until 2am. It's pretty fun because it's like just watching the live feed, not the edited tv show. I rather enjoyed it. But then enjoying tv show = not sleeping.

Because of the water in Austin's room he slept on my couch in the Whine Cellar and I meant to sleep on my bed in Pop's room but... fell asleep on the couch in the living room which doesn't sleep well at all. I woke up in a heckuvalot of pain. I went to sleep around 4am, slept until 7am moved to the recliner and slept until 9am.  When I woke up I was feeling the whole elephant on the chest/chest stuffed with cotton thing and it took a long time before I felt like I could breathe freely which increases anxiety which makes it hard to breathe.

I finally gathered my wits enough to make lemon poppyseed muffins (from a mix, you know, add milk and stir) and got dressed but I didn't do makeup. I had enough deodorant to scrape out again today and so far I don't stink. I know you're all wondering about the state of the deodorant crisis.

I settled in to edit the photos I've taken around the house for the past few days and the exterminator came. I spent an hour showing him the creepy crawlies we've found and he told me things he had found over the time he's been servicing the house - and of course mentioned the teenage hoarder. He has an 18 year old with some learning delays and speech issues so he understands that not all teenagers are created equal and that we have to choose our battles. Fortunately there is no infestation as a result of his mess (other than his penicillin farm).

Little Kitty is hilarious. My mom says he's scary smart/intuitive. He actually went around with me, found bugs and would meow when he saw them. What's odd about that is that Little Kitty hardly EVER meows. He has more of a tiny little whine but nothing assertive like a pointed meow. He pointed out a spider, a moth and a june bug to the exterminator (who also thought the cat was pointing things out - I'm not imaging things).

Enough of my exciting life. Here are a few more captioned photos for you. Hope you enjoy.

We just had round two of "can the girlfriend move back in" and rather than get into the semantics I just honestly said I can't see a scenario where it will be ok for her to live here. It's sometimes easier to do it that way rather than give conditions. The conditions - and the clarification of the conditions - were given before and during her stay here before. I'm just unable to think of any angle where it makes sense. Austin's mad. Life sucks sometimes. Mine does. I mean, I know it's all relative but at the same age I worked like a dog to make sure me and my baby daddy were able to live together in wedded bliss. And it wasn't all bliss and it sucked rotten eggs to try to motivate a teenage dad who wanted to get drunk and sleep all day more than he wanted to be a dad. The point is that my experiment with young love was on my dime. If he wants to live with his girlfriend he needs a job where he can pay for a place for them to live.

And now I am exhausted. Happy Tuesday. Love and hugs.

The Seventh of July

I actually left the house today... first time since Tuesday, I think. I had to pick up a few necessities (but forgot the deodorant. there's enough to scrape it out and use it and once that runs out I'll go back into town). It was amazing to see the world after the storms of the past week. Everything is extreme green, muddy and soggy. All these dirt roads up here have flooded out onto the main road leaving a trail of mud and gravel on the paved roads. There was a huge branch across the road at the entrance to our private road (with enough room for me to drive past it without having to move it).

I'm having one of those *must medicate* pain days. Bad enough that the brief trip to town (about twenty minutes total) had me in tears on the way home. It stinks. It really does. I got a ton of paperwork in the mail - the stuff that I'll have to fill out over the phone with the disability attorney. I'm going to have to do some research to find the names of the doctors who have treated me for all my respiratory stuff. So many doctors over the past five years that I can hardly remember who is who. The sooner I have the info together and the more prepared I am for my next phone call with the attorney, the quicker this process will go.

I started the night last night on my couch down in the Whine Cellar but woke up with not one but TWO cats on top of me. Eddie the Ginger Cat has finally gotten up the courage to venture downstairs and even though he doesn't much like people ... he likes me. I woke up because Little Trouble Kitty was trying to wrestle Eddie off of me. Nothing like a literal cat fight on your BELLY.. so I decided to go upstairs and sleep on the bed so there would be room for all of us. Wouldn't you know... they both stayed downstairs. Goofy cats.

You can tell that the local wildlife knows that the doggies have left the building. I watched a bunny and a beautiful deer hang out in the front forest this morning. They wouldn't do that with Oscar The Guard Dog in residence. I didn't get a decent picture of either.  I guess I should make sure Mr. Deer doesn't avail himself of the garden. Little Kitty is still stalking visiting with the squirrels on the front porch. He tapped on the window with his claws again today while one was on the bird feeder. Totally cracked me UP! Funniest cat ever. Besides pathetic Stubby the Three Legged Wondercat who waits on the counter for his food. Actually. The only reason we have cat food on the counter is because if it's on the floor the dogs eat it. I guess I could put it on the floor until the dogs come back and save Stubby from having to haul his fat belly up to the feeding trough.

Speaking of feeding trough...the kid came home today. Woohoo. I mean , "WOOOHOOO!!!" Lots more groceries being used today than yesterday. I had oatmeal for breakfast today and watermelon for lunch. Seriously. It's amazing that I can maintain my weight with as little as I eat some days... but then again, I make up for it by having gigantic bowls of ice cream at other times. The kid, likewise, will sleep for twelve hours and wake up famished and eat half the pantry in one sitting. There's a good bit of food here. A lot of ingredients, I should say. Nothing quick and easy, really, but that's ok. I could seriously live on watermelon. I just wish the tomatoes would start coming in. My body knows that it's tomato time and is wondering why I'm holding out on it.

For the rest of the day I have dinner, more TV watching ahead and then bed. And that was the seventh day. Captioned photos ahead:

 

Ok... see the gutter there on the deck past the screen porch? It's overflowing and the water is running down between the porch and the house and it's going into the ceiling of my bedroom. All it needs is for somebody to clean out the gutter.

Have a great week! Love and hugs!