a fun afternoon with my teenager (not)

I guess you could say that I drew a line in the sand.
Austin stayed gone all weekend after he got mad at me Friday night.
I didn't try to make him come home. I figured... what's the point? He'll come home and be surly and disagreeable and ... I definitely carry stress in my back... whenever I get stressed, I must tense up or something because I really feel it.
But today... he needed to come home and make sure he is ready for school next week... he needs to do his laundry... he had dirty dishes that he left in the sink Friday night that I was tired of smelling.
Etc. etc. etc.
I started trying to get him to come home at noon.
By 3pm I was highly aggravated.
He was refusing.
I told him that Zach is worthless and that when he hangs out with Zach, he gets worthless too.
I mean... Zach, despite getting married... (with no wedding night)... the only work he's ever done is Community Service. He dropped out of school after 9th grade. He doesn't work. He sits at his mom's or his wife's mom's and he plays games.
That's not the life I want my child to aspire to.
Austin's texts to me were pretty ugly. I mean... he used rather abusive language.
I finally just said, "whatever. I'm done".
I was. I was tired of begging him to do the right thing.
He came home in a fury. I sensed it and closed my bedroom door to avoid a confrontation.
Honestly... I can't handle it.
He slammed the dishes around... (keep in mind, the only ones he had to do were HIS... i had loaded the dishes i used directly into the dishwasher)... then went into his room and screamed...
"your dishes are done, BITCH!"...
I told him he couldn't talk to me like that.
An argument escalated.
I finally said... "enough"... and called the police.
I've never done that before on any of my kids and there were times... oh boy... there were times... but Ryan and Cody have always had a measure of rationalization... and... honestly... they never treated me the way Austin does.
I also called my brother.
The police came. Two of them. They took my statement. I gave them permission to take a statement from Austin. He showed out a little bit while they were there...
They took me outside and discussed my options. I could file a complaint in juvenile court but that would require him to appear in court and yada yada... or... we could just file a police report and they would keep it in case of any future problems.
Then I showed them the text messages he had sent me.

See... what he did... he left me with proof of how he talks to me.

The cops gave him a stern talking to. They told him he had no right to talk to me the way he did. ... he told Austin that the messages I sent to him in no way deserved the kind of response he gave me.
And Jim said, "I'm not going to let you talk to MY SISTER that way"...
I think that shook him up more than the cops.
The cops asked me if I wanted to take his phone away. In the past when I have tried, he has gotten physically combative. I said... yes. I wanted his phone taken away. The cop took it (and gave it to me... and I gave it to Jim)...
After they left we talked about what Austin had to do to get his phone back.
They talked about Austin getting a job and school attendance and so on and so forth.
Then Jim left... and now Austin is in his room. He hasn't spoken. I imagine he's angry... but if anything... he now knows that there are boundaries... that I'm not going to allow him to talk to me the way he does... that there ARE consequences for his actions... and maybe, just maybe, that will change his course of action.
I'm exhausted... but I think I did the right thing.
I don't ask a lot. I really just ask him to clean up behind himself. And as Jim reminded him... I don't really have a lot of rules, I'm very liberal, open minded, I don't set a lot of boundaries... but...
I didn't go thru everything I went thru to stop Michael Darby from abusing me only to allow my own child to do the same thing.
Tough love. There ya go.

If I was born in a different time.. would I have colored outside the lines

It's odd how much can happen even though the scenery doesn't change much....

I'm so grateful for facebook. It has given me a second chance to build better relationships with people I took for granted when they were in my life the first time. It has given me a chance to meet people who are going thru things that are different... different geography, different weather, different politics, different beliefs... it makes me feel so connected with the world.

I have been watching movies all weekend. I love old movies... I love the clothes, the decor, the habits, mannerisms, speech patterns. It's amazing to see how much we have evolved.

I watched a movie this morning that talked about Women's suffrage. Who would I have been 100 years ago? Would I have colored inside the lines? Would I have allowed my husband to have full reign over me. Gosh. I really doubt it. Although my fundamental foundation of faith, stubborness, independence would have likely been a part of me whenever and wherever I had lived... I also really hate conflict and confrontation. I probably would have been a secret suffragee. (spelling?)

Who would I have been in the face of segregation? Would I have dared in that time to love a man with a different skin color? A friend recently described his coffee preference by saying, "I like my coffee like I like my women- blonde and sweet"... I couldn't let it go... I said, "and I like my coffee like i like my men - strong and black"... teehee. I'm ashamed that when I first got to know Bear better as a single girl, I commented to a friend, "he would be perfect for me if he was white" and she said, "then he's perfect for you"... I have never forgotten that admonition... and I know that my heart grew much larger by realizing that friends come in all colors, shapes and sizes.

Of course... in the end... there were (and still are) too many obstacles... color being only one of them. Not because MY family wouldn't accept him. I have a sister in law who is black... and I have a niece, two nephews and a grand nephew who are of mixed race. We love them all the same as we do the ones who are pale white and freckled. What kind of family would we have been fifty years ago?

His family, however, would have a harder time accepting me. And I don't blame them. His father is well into his nineties... what kind of world did he see? I wonder what kind of injustice he faced... and his father before him? I imagine there were things that happened that were hard to forget. Even now, as his memory is fading and his mind isn't as sharp, I bet those old memories, that old intuition and suspicion lingers.

What would the world have thought of me a hundred years ago as a twice divorced woman? Or would I have been divorced? Would I be stuck in a loveless, frightening place with either one who had no capacity for sobriety? Or would I be held captive with an abusive situation until I finally did succeed in taking what I saw as the only way out?

Medically... where would we be? I know that my brother would be raising two little girls by himself because without medical intervention - drastic, life saving surgery wouldn't have been available to save Angie's life after Jamie was born. Where would I be without the kind of intervention that discovered and diagnosed my back problems? Would my dad have survived cancer? Would my mother have lost her sight? Would I have become obese if my life were physically harder? Would we have eaten better? Would there have been a kidney infection or pneumonia that would have killed me without antibiotics?

And I wonder... should the Lord leave me here... leave us all here for another 40 years or so... what will this world become? Will democracy be completely set aside for socialism or communism? It certainly feels like we're headed in that direction. More and more is taken from those who have... and given to those who don't. Would it be a better world if those who don't have had to work harder to get... and those who do have could be allowed to decide for themselves whether or not to help their neighbor? Would people be more responsible if they faced a debtors prison or a work house? Would employers be more willing to hire if they didn't face such huge taxes and labor laws and union agreements? Did the pendulum swing too far?

Will there come a day where you can buy alcohol on Sunday in Georgia? Will there come a day when same sex marraige holds no stigma in the same way that mixed race marriages are no longer such a big deal? Will Christianity continue to be so strongly disdained... or worse? Will we lose our right to believe what we believe? Will the genteel manners of my grandmother and her sister - the Steel Magnolias - will they become as old fashioned as a horse and buggy? Will we respect the past so as not to repeat it? Will we honor our roots? Or will we forget where we come from.

I love the show "Who Do You Think You Are" that comes on Friday nights. This past Friday they showed Rosie O'Donnell... and it was amazing to see that in just a matter of three or four generations her family went from poor Irish who lived in a workhouse and then immigrated to America to the amazing success and prosperity that Rosie has found. My great-grandfather was a doctor in Atlanta but I don't know that you could have considered him wealthy. I know my grandmother had a decent childhood without want... yet struggled as a single mother, just like me. Her life is comfortable now... her second marriage left her more financially stable. Her sweetheart who just passed away also included her in his will. But she carried a great heartbreak and disappointment over the years... her first husband turned out not to be who she thought he was. She rebounded...

I know that God doesn't make mistakes. I know that who we are and when and how we live is by divine design, not by chance or happenstance. At least... that's what I believe.

That's why today... instead of lacing up my corset... or piling on the crinolines... I'm sitting here in comfort and ease, watching old movies, playing on the internet and thanking God for putting me here in this time and place.

Hope you are having a great weekend! Love and hugs!

finding the good things about the past week

You know... there was a lot of aggravation in my week last week. There were a lot of times I felt frustrated and limited and compromised. But there were a lot of times that I knew I was walking in grace, giving a great effort, doing my best.

There's this thing that I do... unintentionally... where the more frustrated and discouraged I am, the harder I work to SOUND cheerful. I heard that cheerfulness in my voice yesterday with clients several times. It's like... I used to say about my kids... generally they were absolute angels for other people but they were little heathens at home. I was always glad - on the bright side - that at least they knew how to act in public. I realized yesterday that I know how to act in public.

I worked three full days last week and two days I left early (once for the doctor, once for physical therapy). I have physical therapy scheduled twice for next week. I am allowed 50 visits per calendar year. I'm not one hundred percent sold on it... I think it will help the osteoarthritis that is impacting my mid back... but I think it hurts the disc compression in the lower back. I still would feel better if I had an MRI to determine the extent of damage there. This is a "jumping thru hoops" sort of thing... if the back pain doesn't totally go away with physical therapy, we go to the next step. I'm proud of myself for the days that I stayed at work despite the pain.

The good news... I've met my deductible for the year. Everything I have done will be covered at 90% for the rest of the year.

I got up this morning and went to the grocery store before 8am. It was soooo much easier shopping when I was pretty much the only person in the store. Less walking, I accomplished things more quickly and easily... I wanted to wait until Austin could go with me but by that time, things would be crowded. I pushed myself ... lifted things that were too heavy but... I got it done. I bought a lot of healthy stuff but I changed my focus a little bit to buy stuff that is healthy and easier to prepare for the times after work (or in the morning before work, even) when I'm in too much pain to cook. I was proud of my choices... and my resourcefulness. There are some sacrifices I'm having to make... it hurts to move my arms to chop veggies... so I bought some things that were already chopped. You pay a little more but you pay less than you would if you ate out. I bought more frozen vegetable than normal. They're easier to prepare.

I bought stuff for Austin to make the cobbler that he had a tantrum over last night. Wonder if he'll notice and/or if he'll thank me? Not holding my breath.

I've been told that child support is coming but that he "hasn't had time to take care of it". Things like that really set me off... his whole relationship with his children has been based on his comfort and convenience. Mine has been about THEIR needs, their comfort, their convenience. Never marry an only child... I'm telling you... there is no end to the selfishness. So what if we didn't have money to buy groceries last weekend?... he couldn't be inconvenienced to pay his child support. I'm proud of myself for not going off on him when he told me that... I just reminded him that I've been accepting less than he owes for the past ten years and if I have to go to court to get child support, I'm going to court to get it all.

I'm proud of myself for holding my tongue in another situation where someone was behaving in a way that was just... ignorant. I'm proud of myself for having consideration for their feelings, even though they didn't have consideration for mine. Sometimes... it's easier to bite your tongue than to try to negotiate with a fool. I will, however, make my exposure to that person less frequent.

I'm glad that I've survived another Singles Awareness Day.
I'm glad that I went ahead and bought Easter cards and can't wait to send them. When is Easter this year?
I'm glad that I took the time to write to my Steel Magnolias. That made me happy...
I'm enjoying TCM and a free preview that we have of Fox Movie Channel right now.
I'm so in love with my living room... it's gorgeous. Now I just need to get a tv in there...
I made the effort to completely make my bed and get it looking all showroom perfect. It's up against the wall and it's a full bed so it required a little stretching beyond my comfort level but it was worth the effort. Although... I have to admit... I've gotten back in the habit of sleeping on top of the covers again.
I'm so glad for my electric blanket... makes the best heating pad ever... since my pain is in two separate areas of my back, it would be hard to get a heating pad at just the right angle. This works great.
I worried that heat wasn't the right treatment... but the Physical Therapist said, "if heat feels good, use heat"... it does.
Now that I've hit my deductible, I'm going to try to get a tens unit (the electrical stimulation thing)...
I'm glad that I abandoned the dating game. Friend dates are more fun... less obligation, no stress, I don't have to worry about where it's going... it's not going anywhere...I'm not trying to sell myself or impress. I can just be me.
I'm glad that none of the guys I "interviewed" for the position of Mr. Right were "hired". This would have been a heckuva bad thing to go thru so early in a relationship.
I'm glad it's the weekend and I can rest. I still plan to go to church tomorrow... hang out in the cry room during the service...
I'm glad that Bitty found another place to be. I loved him... I was crazy about him... but he was a wild cat... he needed to be able to roam. It's nice to not have to worry about him and Stubby fighting... to have less cat food and cat litter to buy... to not have to deal with his "issues".
I'm glad that the weather is warming up... it feels great outside... it smells fresh and clean (except for the fields where they've put out manure)... it's 71 degrees here today. We may have another cold spell or two but for the most part, we survived another winter.

I'm planning to make some potstickers... I've been craving them so I thought it would be a good idea to make a lower calorie version. I've got to research some recipes but I think I can do it. How hard can it be?

I guess in everything, there's always good... if you choose to look for it.
Have a great weekend, y'all!

finding a teachable moment

My aggravation with Austin has been really building over the past two weeks.
I mean... the school attendance has become an issue again... He HAS been sick but he feels well enough to do what he wants to do.
I asked him on Saturday to do HIS laundry. Not done yet.
I asked him on Monday to change the litter box... not hard - you carry one of the disposable litter boxes to the dumpster and open a new one. I can't lift it. But that... has not been done yet.
I asked him on Tuesday to do the dishes. Not done yet.
The trash got taken out... there's that.
He cooked and left a trail of ramen noodles all over the counter... I asked him at 6pm last night to clean it up.
Still there.
I asked him to pick up his pajama pants from the middle of the living room floor at some time this week. Still there.
School book bag - still in the middle of the floor.
Dishes still in his room.
Room still not clean.
I ask. I cajole. I beg. I plead. I rationalize. I speak to him like a child. I speak to him like an adult.
He does exactly what he wants, exactly when it benefits him. No exceptions.

I left for work this morning in tears after he refused to go to school...
This afternoon he called with his grocery order... listing the things that HE WANTS that we didn't have in the house.
Don't get me wrong... there is food in the house. Just not what he was craving at the moment.
And I said... sure... we'll go... not feeling like it... wearing the weight of a long week on my back... wanting only to get home, get on the heating pad... rest...
And as I was driving home... talking to God... and thanking Him for allowing me a full day of work... and asking him for another hour of strength since I had to take Austin to the store... and as clear as day, I heard Him say:
Make him wait.
That's right.
Teachable moment.
He makes me wait for everything I ask him to do.
Makes me beg. Get mad. Be inconvenienced. Not get what I want, what is necessary for the orderly upkeep of our home...
He refuses to work on my schedule. Why should I be a slave to his?
And so I came home and you know what I did?
I made him wait.
My plan was to make him wait until I could explain my disappointment at his lack of cooperation.
I wanted to tell him how much I need him to work with me.
I wanted to demonstrate how there is give and take in every relationship.
But he cursed me. He slammed doors. He screamed at me. He left the room. He acused me of depriving him.
And so... I will make him wait until he is ready to listen.
Sometimes God is a really awesome co-parent.

living within a new normal

I'm absolutely befuddled by the situation in Wisconsin. It's a microcosm of what's wrong in this country... states have made deals with unions and obligated themselves to pension plans that the budget just can't support. When the state goes in and says, "unlike the U.S. Government, we can't just print more money when we run out... we've got to renegotiate"... teachers walk off the job, legistlators walk off the job and refuse to make the tough decisions. I mean... I think it's time we face facts... this economy is the new normal. People are taxed to death. You can't work from a deficit forever. (trust me on this, I've lived it) I predict that what has happened in Wisconsin is just the beginning. All but 3 states are working from a deficit... something has got to give.

Yesterday I started off feeling pretty good. It only took my normal glam routine for the pain to set back in with a vengeance. There are two places in my spine that are causing problems... the osteoarthritis is affecting my upper back... the spondylolisthesis is impacting my lower back and it's the lower back where there is an inpingement of the nerves... yesterday my hip hurt worse than it has yet. The pain is not limited to one place... I can have one part completely fine... and then have numbness in my foot... or pain in my hip... or muscle spasms in my back. The longer the week drags on, the more time I work, the more the pain accumulates (for lack of a better word). It is so discouraging.

I had a conversation (via text) with someone yesterday about potential future relationships... I just feel (right now) like I could never enter into a relationship with someone knowing that I have this chronic condition and that I am going to always be restricted to some degree by pain. It's early in the process but I'm already seeing friends get frustrated with me because I don't feel like going anywhere. I have been isolated from family members... if I can't go to them, they don't come to me. And... at this point... I can't imagine driving any distance. I realized yesterday that RIDING with someone else driving is even more painful because I can't control the speed... the sharpness of turns... the abruptness of stops. When my upper back hurts, it's painful to steer the car but at least then I can control things.

Not trying to be Debbie Downer... just speaking with my usual candor about what I'm living with at the moment. I know that *eventually* we will figure out a treatment for these different issues that will help with the pain. But the realization that ... it's not like a broken bone that will heal... it's not a pulled muscle that will heal... it's not a kidney stone that will pass or an infection that will heal... my spine is not as good as new any more. And as I start thinking about things like... how will I manage to continue to work a desk job for the next 25 years with a spine that can't handle sitting for 8 hours a day? How long until things progress to the point that I CAN'T work? What happens then? It worries me.

I do know that God has a plan. I know that He saw what was happening to my back long before an xray did. I know that it's just a matter of getting from this time of "not knowing" over the bridge of faith to the life He has ordained for me. I'm gonna get there. I just can't help but wonder how, you know?

I've been trying to explain to Austin that his responsibilities are changing. I can't pick up the things that he lets fall to the ground any more. I can't clean up behind him. I can't wash and rewash the clean clothes that he doesn't put away that end up getting trampled on the floor. It's not fair to him... that he was born last and he has to put up with an older (but still young!) mom than what his brothers had. But... he's old enough to at least clean up behind himself. I don't need him to be my maid.... but I can't be his either. I really need one of those steam mop things to help ME be independent. Maybe for my birthday... I keep trying to tell him that things are different for now. Maybe for always. I need his help.

Have any of you faced a diagnosis that was life changing? What did you do? How did you handle the "what happens next" and "what if" questions? How did you retrain the people in your life to accept the difference? What do you do when life ends up taking a turn you didn't expect? When your baggage grows and your marketability declines and you know that you're getting older, getting weaker, not able to do what you once used to do? Is this all part of growing old gracefully? Is this just part of the process?

I'm just wondering...

I've been studying up on what foods can decrease inflammation and I'm going to try to build the next week's menu around those foods and see if it helps. I'm going to keep doing the exercises I learned in physical therapy... and do what I can and hang tough when it gets rough and just keep moving forward.

I'm not depressed. I'm just facing facts. My life story never has followed the path I thought it would take. So far, it's always worked out JUST FINE in spite of myself. God has been good to me, there is no reason to believe that this situation won't be a blessing in disguise... the rest, as they say, is still unwritten...

thankful for therapy thursday

Ok... I'll go ahead and say it... Physical Therapy helped. I doubted it. My doctor doubted it... but it definitely made a difference. It hurt right afterwards... but this morning I have less pain than I've had in a long time. I have appointments to go twice next week... and we'll see how it goes. The objective is to build my core muscles (i.e. abdominals) to take some of the strain off of my spine. The problems I have are chronic... meaning they'll always be there... so the goal is to do whatever I can to alleviate stress on my back. I'm on board with that! The good news is that I'm still young enough to be able to workout... still flexible enough to do things like pull my knees up to my chest - which, surprisingly, actually feels good. I have been so sore and so afraid to move that I haven't done things that, surprisingly, are beneficial. The Physical Therapist (Pam) taught me a few exercises that I can do on my own to build my stomach muscles without putting any stress on my back... I mean... obviously, I can't do things like sit ups and that's what you would think of as the best exercise to build stomach muscles... so she showed me other things that work. I'm relieved... it feels like a light at the end of the tunnel.

I was hoping for a little cha-ching in the mail this week so I've been checking the mailbox every morning before work. No cha-ching yet... *sadface*... but both Tuesday morning and yesterday morning I had some fun things in my mailbox. On Tuesday I got a letter and photo from my grandmother... and yesterday I got a valentine from her sister, my great-aunt Bette - the two of them are my Steel Magnolias... beautiful, strong, delicate... and I really took that as a sign that God was sending me encouragement from two women who I KNOW have endured great hardships in life with beauty, grace and great faith. I made sure to write them both back yesterday and let them know just how precious it is to me to hear from them.

I also had a postcard from Mr. Drake and that always makes my day! I love snail mail!

I have really struggled with my limitations over the past few weeks... I'm frustrated that it hurts to take wet laundry out of the washer... it hurts to move my arms at all so even driving hurts... it hurts to take out the trash... it hurts to bend to empty the dishwasher. It hurts to sit at my desk at work. It hurts to walk. It hurts to stand for any length of time. I've whined a lot on here about the fact that I'm IN PAIN... but I don't think I've really talked about what those limitations mean to me. There is no significant other in my life... there's no one to take up the slack. There is only Austin and he is really. really. really. no help. If anything, he increases my burden. BUT ... I say all of that to say this: Yesterday there were two situations... no, three... brought to my attention where there are big, hairy, scary, major, life changing and potentially life ENDING circumstances going on... and it gave me a little perspective.

Yes... my worst thing is overwhelming to me... but I thank God that what I'm facing is manageable, treatable, liveable, not fatal, not devastating... and I stopped whining about my own problems long enough to spend a little time in prayer for someone other than myself. It was a great blessing to me... to be able to use that platform... to ask for grace, mercy, providence, protection, peace... in the lives of others... and an even greater blessing to have confidence that there IS a God and He DOES hear my prayers and He DOES answer them and that no matter how powerless I may feel at times... there is always hope, as long as I have faith to hold on to.

The darker the night, the brighter the light. You notice the light at the end of the tunnel because the tunnel is so dark. If the tunnel were brightly lit... you wouldn't be as acutely aware of the end approaching... you might not see that resolution on the way. Five weeks ago, the day this all started, I prayed that God would show me His power in a mighty way. Be careful what you ask for, right? However... I believe that this was going to happen, regardless, and that prayer was for me, the Holy Spirit preparing my heart and spirit for this new journey. I have, without a doubt, seen His power and I continue to see it each and every day... in every act of kindness, in every prayer lifted up for me, in every word of encouragement, every card that comes in the mail, every email, text, phone call... He is there. And His power is evident. Maybe... just maybe... because I choose to focus on the light, instead of the tunnel.

I'll say it again for those who don't share my faith... if I get to the end of this life and I discover that the end is really the end and there is no after life, there is no Heaven and there is no hell... or perhaps I find that the path I chose wasn't the right one... then I will have STILL lived a much better life by having had something to believe in, somewhere to place my faith, by having hope and belonging to a community of people who also have that hope.

That's what I'm thankful for today. Love and hugs!

How Well Do You Know ME?

UPDATE: the statements that are BOLD are false! The pattern was that every 4th statement was false... here goes! Roberta was the only one who answered ... so she wins by default. Y'all are NO FUN! Berta... wish I could send you some New York related items... instead, I'll send you some goodies from Helen, GA. Message me your address, ok?

I'm going to list a series of statements. Your job is to pick which of these are NOT true. List those numbers in comments... the one who calls me out on the most false statements wins...



(incidentally... my friend Mary usually is the best at Heather Trivia... she's most likely to win)



Here goes:



1. My first address was 1001 Oakdale Rd.

2. My first best friend was named Tonya.

3. My first plane ride was to West Palm Beach, Florida.

4. My first dog was named Spot. His name was SOLID because he was a SOLID color.

5. I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.

6. I can still do a split.

7. The mascot for my junior high school was the Spartans.

8. I once got in trouble for not knowing how to spell Spartans. there was a girl who cheered the year before me who couldn't spell Spartans so she had to practice it over and over.

9. I am left handed.

10. I am missing my big left toenail.

11. I always hated my thighs, even when I weighed 105 pounds.

12. My first car was red... that's false... My first car was burgundy. A 1986 Ford Escort.

13. The first movie I ever watched on video tape was Urban Cowboy.

14. My first time outside of the state of Georgia was when I was 11.

15. My astrological sign is Taurus.

16. I read my horoscope every day. .. not true. While I do believe that God ordained the sun, moon and stars and there are connections/patterns to be discerned by the heavens... I don't hold much store in horoscopes.

17. When I was a little girl we had two cats named Patches and Calico.

18. My grandfather used to have a worm farm.

19. My mother is one of seven children.

20. My father is one of four children. False. My father is the middle child in a family of 3 - he has an older brother and a younger sister.

21. I'm an alto but I'm too tone deaf to hear the harmony so I usually sing soprano.

22. I wore a size 5 or 7 in high school.

23. My first rock concert was Madonna.

24. I love horror movies. - nope. Hate them.

25. I was in the Science Club in Jr High.

26. I wasn't in any clubs in High School.

27. I once tore my size 5 Gloria Vanderbilts trying to climb a fence at a local high school.

28. I once had a pet rat named Ralph. Nope. That's false.

29. One of my children used to love to sleep in my queen sized pantyhose.

30. If my children had been girls their names would have been Ashley, Alyssa and Caylen.

31. I can't go to sleep at night until I pre-program the tv to all the shows I would watch if I were awake.

32. I preferred New Coke and was disappointed when they brought back Classic Coke in 1985. - Sorry... I'm a purist. When I drink coke... and it's extremely rare... possibly two a year... at most... I like it in a tall glass over ice.

33. I secretly adore Flo from Progressive.

34. I cannot stand to hear the Family Guy theme song.

35. Austin and I randomly sing tv theme songs.

36. I still wear a retainer at night. Never had one... never wore one.

37. I currently have both a bottle of honey and a container of red pepper flakes in my purse.

38. My favorite lip gloss is Avon's Glazewear. I buy at least a dozen tubes at a time.

39. I love The Nanny but never watched a single episode until it was in syndication.

40. I wish I had a dog. Oh... not me. We are gone too long during the day.

41. My closet is organized in color order according to the rainbow.

42. I never hang my toilet paper on the holder because it's on the "wrong side".

43. I bite my fingernails.

44. I am superstitious. Not really.

45. I have had my Christmas tree up since October and have no intention of taking it down.

46. I love to walk in the woods.

47. I am memorizing Psalms 139 this year.

48. I have a brother who lives in Pittsburgh. WRONG... my brothers live in Clarkesville, GA, Chattanooga, TN, New York City and Acworth, GA.

49. Mr. Drake has tried on several occasions to teach me to swing dance and I'm lousy at it.

50. I find Yiddish phrases amusing.

51. I drink hot tea all day at work, reusing the same tea bags all day.

52. I was a late bloomer. - not true. I wish, but not true.

53. I have five nieces and four nephews and one great-nephew.

54. I am a licensed insurance agent.

55. I love Florida Gators football and Kentucky Wildcats basketball.

56. I live on a dirt road. - wrong... I live "in town" the roads are all paved.

57. My favorite thing that I did in New York was tour the Tenement Museum.

58. The funniest thing in San Francisco (to me) were the suicide prevention signs on the Golden Gate bridge.

59. I once got violently seasick on a dinner cruise on Lake Michigan in Chicago.

60. I got in trouble for picking tulips in Boston. False. I took pictures of tulips in Boston but I didn't pick any and I didn't get in trouble.

61. I hated Miami Beach because I had to use the bathroom and we were stuck in traffic and couldn't find a place to park.

62. I always cry at airports when I see happy reunions.

63. I listen to part of the Rush Limbaugh show every day.

64. I am allergic to dogs. - No. Not allergic.

My alarm just went off so that means that Cyndi is waiting with her coffee to read today's blog so I'm going to wrap this up.

What do you think guys? Out of these statements... which numbers are false? I'll give you a hint... there's a pattern to it... whoever wins will get a special surprise in the mail from me!

I have my first physical therapy visit today... yesterday at work I was in a lot of pain and was under an enormous amount of (unnecessary) stress which made things worse... I was really tearful and struggled all day. I spent a lot of time in prayer... please keep me in prayer today. I would dearly love to go to bible study tonight and I'm afraid that I'm going to be in too much pain after PT.

Have a Wonderful Wednesday! Love and hugs!