finding the good things about the past week

You know... there was a lot of aggravation in my week last week. There were a lot of times I felt frustrated and limited and compromised. But there were a lot of times that I knew I was walking in grace, giving a great effort, doing my best.

There's this thing that I do... unintentionally... where the more frustrated and discouraged I am, the harder I work to SOUND cheerful. I heard that cheerfulness in my voice yesterday with clients several times. It's like... I used to say about my kids... generally they were absolute angels for other people but they were little heathens at home. I was always glad - on the bright side - that at least they knew how to act in public. I realized yesterday that I know how to act in public.

I worked three full days last week and two days I left early (once for the doctor, once for physical therapy). I have physical therapy scheduled twice for next week. I am allowed 50 visits per calendar year. I'm not one hundred percent sold on it... I think it will help the osteoarthritis that is impacting my mid back... but I think it hurts the disc compression in the lower back. I still would feel better if I had an MRI to determine the extent of damage there. This is a "jumping thru hoops" sort of thing... if the back pain doesn't totally go away with physical therapy, we go to the next step. I'm proud of myself for the days that I stayed at work despite the pain.

The good news... I've met my deductible for the year. Everything I have done will be covered at 90% for the rest of the year.

I got up this morning and went to the grocery store before 8am. It was soooo much easier shopping when I was pretty much the only person in the store. Less walking, I accomplished things more quickly and easily... I wanted to wait until Austin could go with me but by that time, things would be crowded. I pushed myself ... lifted things that were too heavy but... I got it done. I bought a lot of healthy stuff but I changed my focus a little bit to buy stuff that is healthy and easier to prepare for the times after work (or in the morning before work, even) when I'm in too much pain to cook. I was proud of my choices... and my resourcefulness. There are some sacrifices I'm having to make... it hurts to move my arms to chop veggies... so I bought some things that were already chopped. You pay a little more but you pay less than you would if you ate out. I bought more frozen vegetable than normal. They're easier to prepare.

I bought stuff for Austin to make the cobbler that he had a tantrum over last night. Wonder if he'll notice and/or if he'll thank me? Not holding my breath.

I've been told that child support is coming but that he "hasn't had time to take care of it". Things like that really set me off... his whole relationship with his children has been based on his comfort and convenience. Mine has been about THEIR needs, their comfort, their convenience. Never marry an only child... I'm telling you... there is no end to the selfishness. So what if we didn't have money to buy groceries last weekend?... he couldn't be inconvenienced to pay his child support. I'm proud of myself for not going off on him when he told me that... I just reminded him that I've been accepting less than he owes for the past ten years and if I have to go to court to get child support, I'm going to court to get it all.

I'm proud of myself for holding my tongue in another situation where someone was behaving in a way that was just... ignorant. I'm proud of myself for having consideration for their feelings, even though they didn't have consideration for mine. Sometimes... it's easier to bite your tongue than to try to negotiate with a fool. I will, however, make my exposure to that person less frequent.

I'm glad that I've survived another Singles Awareness Day.
I'm glad that I went ahead and bought Easter cards and can't wait to send them. When is Easter this year?
I'm glad that I took the time to write to my Steel Magnolias. That made me happy...
I'm enjoying TCM and a free preview that we have of Fox Movie Channel right now.
I'm so in love with my living room... it's gorgeous. Now I just need to get a tv in there...
I made the effort to completely make my bed and get it looking all showroom perfect. It's up against the wall and it's a full bed so it required a little stretching beyond my comfort level but it was worth the effort. Although... I have to admit... I've gotten back in the habit of sleeping on top of the covers again.
I'm so glad for my electric blanket... makes the best heating pad ever... since my pain is in two separate areas of my back, it would be hard to get a heating pad at just the right angle. This works great.
I worried that heat wasn't the right treatment... but the Physical Therapist said, "if heat feels good, use heat"... it does.
Now that I've hit my deductible, I'm going to try to get a tens unit (the electrical stimulation thing)...
I'm glad that I abandoned the dating game. Friend dates are more fun... less obligation, no stress, I don't have to worry about where it's going... it's not going anywhere...I'm not trying to sell myself or impress. I can just be me.
I'm glad that none of the guys I "interviewed" for the position of Mr. Right were "hired". This would have been a heckuva bad thing to go thru so early in a relationship.
I'm glad it's the weekend and I can rest. I still plan to go to church tomorrow... hang out in the cry room during the service...
I'm glad that Bitty found another place to be. I loved him... I was crazy about him... but he was a wild cat... he needed to be able to roam. It's nice to not have to worry about him and Stubby fighting... to have less cat food and cat litter to buy... to not have to deal with his "issues".
I'm glad that the weather is warming up... it feels great outside... it smells fresh and clean (except for the fields where they've put out manure)... it's 71 degrees here today. We may have another cold spell or two but for the most part, we survived another winter.

I'm planning to make some potstickers... I've been craving them so I thought it would be a good idea to make a lower calorie version. I've got to research some recipes but I think I can do it. How hard can it be?

I guess in everything, there's always good... if you choose to look for it.
Have a great weekend, y'all!