blogging under the influence

After a really comfortable night... I slept better than I have in weeks... I woke up this morning and realized two things: my back was in a major spasm and I had broken a tooth in my sleep.

Really?

I mean. Really? What the heck?

I took a muscle relaxer. That's all. Just one little muscle relaxer. And I am completely altered. For real. I am blogging under the influence.

My plan for the day was to get out early and do some grocery shopping as the cupboards are bare. I stood up a few minutes and realized that I was really woozy. Will have to wait until this passes before I go anywhere. Which... puts me in a bind because I need to go weigh in less than an hour from now.

Which... may be for the best as that mysterious few pounds that popped up the other day is still hanging around. I'm bitter about it. I have stayed under my point totals every single week except Christmas and my weight has been soooo stuck. I blame meds, of course. Lack of activity. Lots of things... but really...

Whoever is holding my voodoo doll, kindly take the pins out of my back... and my mouth... and quit adding stuffing. Enough already. I just want a normal life. Well... what usually constitutes as MY normal... which may not be normal but I still want it back.

Remember Austin's friend who got married? You know, the one who wasn't having a wedding night because they got married by a Justice of the Peace and therefore didn't have a wedding. No wedding = no wedding night, apparently. Well... Austin told me yesterday that *surprise* they're splitting up. Go figure. Youthful indiscretions.

I was really touched - day before yesterday, but I forgot to mention it - that one of our pastors at the church called to see how I was doing and asked if I needed anything. I shared with him a few of my concerns and he prayed with me... it's always good to know that people care. When you're single and live with a pretty unobservant teenager... you start to feel invisible. Kinda like if a tree falls in a forest... or something like that.

Anybody excited about Superbowl tomorrow? I love sports, as you know, but I'm not particularly invested in this particular game... but I'll watch... regardless.

I don't have any more answers from the tests that were done yesterday. I go back to the urologist on Monday afternoon. I'm over it mentally... now I have to get over it physically. I hated doing those tests yesterday. The guy who does CT scans at our area hospital (which is more than a half hour away) is sort of creepy. They don't give you gowns... they just tell you to take your bra off and leave your top on. I mean... gravity has been a friend to me, in that respect... but it's awful cold in there... and he STARES a laser beam at your chest, you can tell he's trying to see what's underneath (I outsmarted him this time... I wore a button up oxford shirt and a thick cardigan, completely not see through!)... and yesterday, since I had on jeans... he had me unbutton my pants and slip them down below my hips. Sure, that's fine... he covered me with a sheet first. But then he determined they weren't low enough so he reached under and pulled them down further. I was like, "PARTY FOUL!" and through gritted teeth said, "I can do it. MYSELF!" creep.

Then for the xrays, they have sort of a "holding tank" for the women... and it's women who are having all manner of testing done... you sit in a waiting room wearing a hospital gown, your shoes and socks, trying to cover your bits and pieces as delicately as possible while watching an annoying infomercial looping over and over again on the tv in the waiting room... and look at backdated issues of Coastal Living and Modern Photography and ... Sports Illustrated? Really? In the women's waiting room? I mean... I enjoyed it but I was the only one. Of course, there were lovely pamphlets everywhere in both english and spanish advising you to tell the technician if there is any way you could be pregnant.

OH, back to creepy guy... I watched the prep nurse note on my form the two reasons why I couldn't possibly be pregnant. (tubal ligation and endometrial ablation, if you must know - basically, the parts aren't there to make it work)... and then Creepy CT Scan Tech stops and asks me if I'm sexually active and if there is any possibility I could be pregnant. I answered, "read the chart". None of your business, Pervy McPerverson.

This tooth really hurts... hope it's not abscessing. Mercy.

But I made it to work by ten... worked about six hours... and came home and crashed and burned. I had chicken salad and crackers for dinner. I really do have to get to the grocery store today. I'll have to time it in between feeling woozy and hurting too bad to move. There's a small window of opportunity but I should be able to manage at least long enough to pick up a few things.

Anyways... just planning to have that peaceful easy feeling all weekend... rest, recoop and recover and be ready to work a full week next week. Hope you're all happy, well rested, warm, pain free, peaceful... love and hugs!