thankful thursday, slightly altered

Yesterday my doctor gave me samples of lyrica ... this is a pain medicine that focuses more on nerve related pain, assuming that the nerves that are compromised are responsible for the bulk of the pain I'm having.

If Michael Jackson had taken lyrica, he wouldn't have needed propofal. (sp)

Seriously... I have been on a lot of different medications and combinations of medications over the years. I have NEVER had anything knock me out as quickly and completely as this lyrica stuff did.

It's the devil.

I fell asleep at 5:30 and slept in a coma like sleep until after 4:30 this morning. I got up once or twice to get a sip of water and go potty but for the most part, I was knocked out for 11 hours.

That's not what I consider "quality of life". That's my goal right now... having some quality of life return. We're four weeks into this back pain and I'm really OVER it.

While I was sleeping... Austin sent me a text saying he had heard that schools are closed so he was going to spend the night with his friend Zach (the one who got married). Um. Schools aren't closed. They're delayed one hour. I've been calling this morning trying to wake him up. He's not answering. THE LAST thing I want to try to do this morning with roads icy and dicey is go to Zach's house... a narrow dirt road that is rarely traveled... and bang on the door to try to wake him up in time for school.

I'm not even sure I'm steady enough to drive. That stuff really altered me.

The frustrating thing is that the pain isn't getting better... it's getting worse. This morning I have spots on my left side that are completely numb. I have decreased sensitivity in my left hand - and I'm left handed. I had trouble lifting a coffee mug... half empty... I didn't have the strength in that arm. I have numbness in my left foot. When I walk... I'm half dragging that leg. Something isn't right.

But it's Thursday... and I'm supposed to be doing a thankful Thursday post. So I'll put aside my whining for a bit and focus on some blessings...

1. I have worked more this week than in the past three weeks.
2. One of my "chicks" from my hen party is bringing dinner tonight. That's a huge blessing... when I work a full 8 hour day it's all I can do to drive home and collapse. I have spent way too much money (and calories) eating out in the past few weeks.
3. We had snow overnight... it's pretty... but it's minimal so the roads are clear.
4. By Sunday we're going to have temps in the 60's... it's starting to warm up, maybe the worst of the winter weather is behind us.
5. I was able to get samples of the lyrica and didn't have to pay for it out of pocket. I haven't met my deductible yet so I would have had to pay the whole thing.
6. I live in a peaceful part of the world... no rioting.... no starvation... no evil dictators.
7. My "worst thing" is something I can live with. I don't LIKE it... but on the scale of suffering... I'm very low. I'm functioning... maybe at a lower capacity than usual, but I'm functioning.
8. I finally turned in my overdue library books and paid the fines yesterday. I don't mind library fines because I like supporting public libraries.
9. None of my kids are in danger, sick, lonely or hurt. For that matter... none of my family members are in harm's way.
10. There is a lot of love in my life... a lot of good friends, concerned blog readers, awesome co-workers, dedicated church family, chicks in my hen party, adopted nieces, real nieces and nephews... I am never alone. There are always people who care what happens to me. There are people in this world... people in my community, even, that can't say that. I know that I'm blessed and I don't take it for granted.
11. I'm thankful for the internet... and the ability it provides to connect with people that I might not otherwise have ever met, or that I wouldn't be able to keep in touch with... it's a very good thing. Thank you, Al Gore, for inventing it. *laugh*

My plan today is to work a full 8 hour day. Holly is really hampered with her back... she was out yesterday... and I need to stay on the job and be as focused as possible. Please pray that I'm able to do all that I need to do. I'm grateful to be able to work... and I want to give it my best.

Have a great day, y'all... and remember to be humbly grateful, not grumbly hateful... *hugs*