My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

lazy day = late blog entry

Blogging late today because.... well, I just didn't want to earlier. I was busy rearranging my frontier on frontierville. Maybe that's lame... I was highly entertained by it.

So... the big hockey date was called off for today. I was more relieved than anything. I'm in pain. There's just no way around it. I can ease it by being on the electric blanket... and by being in a reclined position... but when I sit... or walk... or breathe... or lay down... seriously, any other position... hurts like the dickens. The kind of pain that takes your breath away.

And... honestly... besides being in pain or BECAUSE I'm in pain, I'm in no mood to entertain. I'm not good company right now. That's also why I wasn't blog-worthy this morning.

I'm enjoying the Biography channel today... and there are a few good movies on TCM... does that mean I've reached the age that I like to live in the past? Notsomuch... I mean... I've always been fascinated by history and anthropology... I love knowing how people lived before I lived. I love the fashions and mannerisms in the old movies. Have you noticed that there was an era of black and white movies where women of a higher class ALWAYS had a cigarette in their hand? It was as much an accessory then as Manolos were in the Sex and the City series. Love watching for those kind of things...

I had to run Austin's buddies out last night... I was so uncomfortable... was trying to sleep through the pain... and he had four people in his room playing Wii. I texted him (ha! it's ten feet away... small house) and said, "get your noisy friends out of my house before I embarass you"... and he complied.

Oddly, my brother found out a year or so ago that he also has this extra vertebrae. I still think we lived on a toxic waste site or something. That's purely a joke... our first home was a lovely apartment in my great-grandmother's huge old home in the Druid Hills area of Atlanta... which was built before there WERE toxic things being randomly buried. I think. Maybe it was the lead paint or asbestos?

I don't know if this is a genetic phenomenon. Austin thinks it must be. It looks like an extra vertebrae is found in ten percent of the population.

Anyways... I solved my disappearing dish problem, I think, if Austin will comply. I bought him all plastic/paper goods to use. I bought myself a lovely set of clear glass plates and bowls, 8 new forks, 8 new spoons and he is NOT allowed to touch any of them. We had gotten down to one fork and three plates and two bowls, which is ridiculous because we had something like 20 plates when we moved in. I really believe they're somewhere in his room... but I'm afraid/unable/unwilling to go in there to investigate.

I watched some televangelism this morning on tv. I have a strong desire to be in church, to have a time of worship... but unless I go and stand in the crying room, I can't really sit through a service. I've got a good friend who has really drawn closer to the Lord over the past few months and I'm so encouraged by her spirit. She is a huge blessing to me. The televangelist had a great message but I had to flip the channel when he started hawking his latest book... I understand they have to pay for these broadcasts ... I'd rather they have commercials for laundry detergent or something.

Last night I finally saw Fireproof. Despite the really poor acting... and despite the fact that it's about saving a marriage... I really gained a lot from watching it. I think the Love Dare is something you could employ in any relationship... and some of the concepts of the Love Dare and our attitudes and selfish behavior could really change our most important relationship, the relationship we have with God. I cried at the end when they hugged. It was a sweet story. Poorly acted, as I said...

This frustrates me about Christian material... every time we watch a video in our bible study class, it's almost always laughable. The acting, costumes, staging, production quality... it's all so poor. Sad reflection on our society that the most professionally done movies are about things that don't glorify God at all... but the movies that are intended to teach about God... you can't hear the message for being distracted by the quality of the movie.

I will say one thing about being in a difficult place in life, here over the past few weeks... it makes you more dependent on God. At least it has me. I know I can't make it through a day at work unless He helps me. I'm carried on prayer. I don't want to do anything to get in the way of being able to come to Him and ask for His help... and I believe that if you have sin in your life, you are separated from God. It's caused me to make some different choices over the past few weeks, I have to tell ya. Not that God is fooled... He knows the intent of my heart... I just don't wanna mess things up with Him.

The Daytona 500 is starting. I'm not a NASCAR fan, I mean... it's "go fast, turn left" what's the big deal? Only... you know my attraction to passion... and NASCAR fans are some of the most passionate there are anywhere. I love to watch the pageantry and pomp and circumstance around the start/finish. I'll be watching an old Fred Astaire movie during the bulk of the race.

I've got some bad memories of Daytona... courtesy of "guess who?"... it was in Daytona that he tortured me by lighting his "fire wallet" again and again in a restaurant, even though I'm terrified of fire.... and was tired from a very long/busy/disappointing weekend of constant abuse and frustration. I ended up sitting outside the restaurant while they ate. I guess that was better than having to watch everyone eat... since I wasn't allowed since I had eaten something earlier. Everyone else got to eat again but I didn't. Then... because I complained about the poor treatment I had received at dinner... I was threatened with being put out on the side of the interstate between Daytona and St. Augustine... in the dark... on a rarely traveled road... miles from an exit. The kids cried and begged Michael not to make me get out... and the abuse continued for the entire trip home... it was horrible. That's what i think of when I think of Daytona.

I do, however, have some good memories of watching NASCAR at Michael's brother Tim's house. The guys would grill a dozen different kinds of meat and we were in a race pool so it was fun to see who won. It would be me, the two men and a half dozen little boys... but Tim was always good about taking up for me. More because he liked to argue with Michael, than because he was concerned about me... but there toward the end he told me very sweetly and sincerely that he prayed for me every day. His family could see how I was being treated. They knew. They would rarely confront him about it, but they knew. I hated losing his family because they were all precious to me.

At any rate... it's Pajama Sunday around here... and other than a really awesome Frontier, I've accomplished very little today and have plans to do even less for the rest of the day. I'm worried about the week ahead... Singles Awareness Day tomorrow (copyright Natalie Flake)... a lot of painful sitting... the attempt at Physical Therapy on Wednesday which I've been told could end up being really painful... so I'm storing my reserves of energy for the week. Not trying to do much of anything.

Hope wherever you are... that you're having a wonderful weekend... enjoy the last 20 or so hours of it...
love and hugs!

3 comments:

Jeanne said...

So remember a while back when I suggested that perhaps you needed to get back into some sort of theater production? Well I am now thinking that you need to do some sort of production thru your CHURCH...then you could tell you stories in a way that's not so corny and that's acted well!!! I have got it all figured out for you Heather! We are going to get you back to the stage!!!

FEEL BETTER!

((hugs))
Jeanne

LYN said...

didn't you have a "date" with crunch and munch that you said you couldn't miss because you don't want to be a hermit?? i knew you wouldn't go..:-(

Heather said...

Just for the record y'all - Crunch & Munch cancelled on me. I'm definitely a hermit... but I did make an attempt not to be. He was sick with a bad cold.