tuesday newsday...

I don't know if it's the changing weather or my two recent visits to the doctor's office (a hot bed of germs) or what... but I'm not feeling great... sinus-y stuff with the out of body feeling... uber fatigue... just the hint of a cough and some chest congestion. I worry more about the congestion than anything because of that blasted scar tissue in my lungs. I'm eating healthy, taking my vitamins, making sure I get enough rest... I'm fighting it with all the holistic power I have.

And my weight is up today... argh! I am not freaking out... this is a cyclical thing with me and I know that I've been on track and within my points range and *I KNOW* that the weight will come off. I just want it NOW!

But the main thing on my mind today is that my mom is having surgery and I can't be there. We're shorthanded at work and it would create a hardship on my co-workers if I left them... and honestly... there's not much I can do at the hospital... but it's just a southern thing... when someone has surgery you make a casserole and sit in vigil at the hospital. And... even if we weren't shorthanded at work, I can't afford the unpaid time away from work, especially if there's illness of my own brewing.

I believe that I was supposed to be one of those genteel southern belles who marry a good, hardworking man who wants his wife to be a stay at home mommy and housewife... so that she could keep a lovely home, represent him well in the community, be available to visit the sick in the hospital and serve on the PTA committees and volunteer in the schools. I believe that's who I was supposed to be. I'm not. I'm a poor, single, full time working mom who can barely get the laundry washed, much less put away... I visit the hospital when I'm sick... and my idea of being out in the community is a trip to the farm and the bakery once a week.

Austin was traumatized yesterday because the imaging center called to schedule my mammogram and left a message. He said, "they shouldn't TALK ABOUT those things on an answering machine!" Reminds me of the time that someone said something about breast cancer and Cody started giggling like a school girl. He was about 5 at the time. We said, "CODY! Do you know what breast cancer is?" and he could barely speak for laughing... he said, "well... I don't know what cancer is... but I know what a BREAST IS!". And apparently, breasts were funny.

I need to wrap this up so I can get the glam routine and the food prep for the day completed.

Remember mama in prayer today, if you would. She's having a bowel resection done - which - from what I understand - means taking out a diseased part of the bowel and linking up the healthy parts. Hopefully it can be done laparoscopically (sp) so that the recovery time is limited. I imagine the recovery is unpleasant, no matter how you slice it. Um. pun unintended.

Have a good Tuesday, y'all...