Throwback Thursday - May 31st

As usual I'm using Throwback Thursday to look back over this day in the history of my blog. You can click the enclosed links to read the actual blog post if you like. I really enjoy them and I hope you will too!

The most recent May 31st blog entry was 31-derful things about May back in 2013. The whole post is worth a re-read if you have the time, just click the link here. I'll repost the last thing because it is especially poignant to me:

31. I think that in the future I will look back on this season of life... as a 45 year old single, empty nested woman, living in her parents' basement/converted garage, wearing the same maxi-dress and hoodie and the side braid that seems to be my go-to hairstyle lately... and I will treasure these days. Despite the uncertainty of the disability thing, despite the pain, despite the whole hermit lifestyle, for some reason, these really feel like good ole days.

And they truly were.

In 2012, things were a little less settled for me. I was making the move back to Riverdale, to my parents' house and trying to find a job with just enough hours for me to get by financially. You can click here to read the whole blog but the part that is particularly interesting for me to read, six years later is

What I want is my little cabin in the woods and a job that will allow me the right salary that will allow me to work the kind of hours that my back can sustain and ... well, that's not gonna happen... so I'm just thankful for the right kind of job (lord willing) with the right number of hours... with the right amount of responsibility that will allow me to be around people I love, have the respect that comes from gainful employment but not PAINful employment.


Yep. I did find that perfect job but what I gained most from that job was the understanding that even in the most supportive employment environment, I was no longer going to be able to stay gainfully employed. They were so kind to me and allowed enormous flexibility but I found that even just an hour or two of sitting was more than my back could take. Even now... when I find myself at dinner that runs a bit long... or a social engagement that doesn't allow me to sit as comfortably as necessary, I still end up in a lot of pain.

In May of 2011, I was about four months into the struggle with back pain. I was still trying very desperately to work full time and keep our little household running so that Austin could finish school in White County. The pain and fatigue were overwhelming but I still kept getting up every day and trying. I really admire that girl from seven years ago. So much uncertainty ahead. I'm not sure I could have handled the truth of what was coming but I know that in those days of struggle, things were lining up just as they were supposed to be. I was supposed to stop working, move in with my parents and spend some precious, precious time with my mom. I was meant to be in that place, in that season of life so that I could be with her at the end. I'm ok with how things went, even though it was really hard at the time. I said in that blog that:

You can like the life you're living or you can live the life you like. I think I do the first one. I could change a lot of things... if I wanted... but there are a lot of things I can't change and I don't stress over them too much.

I just kept living and eventually, things sorted out the way they were supposed to be. You can click this link here to read my blog entry from this day in 2011.

My blog post from 2009 is here... it was a weekend recap from the weekend that my sister-in-law, Angie, threw her parents a 40th anniversary party. We didn't know then how soon her dad would be taken from us and so ... in retrospect... I'm glad they had such a wonderful party. I guess that's the biggest lesson I learn in these throwback blogs... how very precious these little events in life will be for us one day. Yes, we appreciate them in the moment but I think we appreciate them so much more when we look back.

That's all I have for this day in blog history. I hope you enjoyed this little trip back in time. Thanks for taking the journey with me! Love and hugs, y'all!