All The Things You Missed / Photo Dump

When we last left this story, I was tucked away at Marvin's enjoying our time together and planning another luxurious day with him including spa night and then... Tasha had to have an emergency appendectomy. Here's how my Nana brain works: Mama is in the hospital, Grandma and Papa are with Mama that leaves Daddy and ... Daddy's team to take care of baby girl. While I know that Austin is a good dad, I know his patience has a limit and I knew that when they dropped Cosy off, she was a little out of sorts about what was going on with mommy. So I cut my time with Marvin short and went back to help with Cosy. It ended up being a good thing because she got really emotional at bedtime and needed lots of Nana cuddles to settle down.

Have you slept with a three year old? I can't understand how someone so small can take up so much space! She did finally go to sleep and I finally got some sleep but it wasn't my normal rest and it certainly wasn't a night at Marvin's. Then Friday morning I had a doctor's appointment in Gainesville and of course, everyone else has to work so it was just me and my chickadee (gosh, she really hates it when I call her that... I can call her anything else - Princess, Monkey, etc... but if I call her "chickadee" she says, "I'm called Cosy"). My back is still not good and I'm trying so hard not to pick her up but sometimes when she's doing things in her own time, it's easier to just pick her up and move her rather than trying to convince her to move herself. I had several errands to run Friday and eventually mom was released from the hospital (she's fine) and Grandma came to pick up Cosy. I was absolutely wiped out and just rested the rest of Friday.

Then Saturday Oliver and Cody were coming up so I wanted to have Cosy come over. It's a lot of work, especially when I'm tired, to wrangle two three year olds. I mean, Cody is always there but I'm not a sit in a rocking chair and observe kind of Nana. I'm down on the floor with them, up and down the stairs with them, jumping on the bed... ok, I don't really jump on the bed. It is really important to me that Oliver and Cosy have a close bond. They may very well both end up as only children so it's important to me that they have each other. They definitely are thick as thieves when they're together... it requires a little refereeing with them from time to time but they definitely love each other.

at the dr with Nana

feeling artistic

 Backing up a bit in time... on Thursday night Oliver Facetimed while Cosy was with me and she just took over my phone and carried on her own little conversation with him, showing him the dog and the cat and toys and chatting away to him... giggling at how silly he is... it was the most complete conversation the two of them have ever had and it just melted my Nana heart into a little puddle. This is what I'm after with them! So although I was way too tired Saturday, I wanted Cosy and Oliver to be able to spend time together so I rallied. Tasha's parents had a church thing to do that was easier to do without Cosy anyways so it just made sense for her to hang out with me. BUT MAN... when everyone went home, I crashed so hard! Austin's girlfriend Jessi hung out with me for a little while and then I said, "I'm really going to need a nap... " and she went and took one too, I think.

2018 is the summer of swimming in buckets

 

So basically what I'm saying is that I've just been either ON DUTY or RECOVERING continuously since my last blog post. I'm also on a new kind of muscle relaxer and it's making me feel really doped up. The other one made me sleepy but I was used to it and at the very least, it worked great. They just needed to increase the dosage of the one I was on and it requires a lot of documentation because it's strong stuff - usually given with things like muscular dystrophy and other muscle wasting kind of disorders. That's how bad my muscle spasms are... anyways... we needed more documentation for the insurance to cover it so they have me on a different kind in the meantime and... I just don't know that it's going to work. I feel drugged up and it doesn't work as well.

Saturday Morning BP

And my blood pressure is still high. Today it's 165/105 and I feel horrible from it. I have an appointment for a follow up in three weeks. I can call in the meantime and they'll probably do what they did when I called a few weeks ago - adjust medication - but I really just need a good sit down with the doctor and a discussion on the next level of intervention because what we're doing isn't working. The thing is... as long as it's hot outside, I don't care to do anything that involves leaving my air-conditioned space.

Marvin and I did have a nice lunch date on Thursday before I came back home. We went out for Italian at this place called Biba's near his house. I had the chicken parmesan... he had some kind of chicken pasta special and we had fried calamari. Other than that I'm eating healthy (ha!). It was enough food that it fed me for lunch that day, Austin and Jessi for dinner that night and me for dinner the next night. I'm picking our big adventure lunch date for next week and I have NO IDEA what I want to do. So Atlanta area folks, give me some suggestions for a fun lunch date restaurant that you might like to have me review for you next week.

fried calamari

chicken parmesan

In other news... Pop is doing the show Sweet Charity in Habersham County and I think he's having fun. He's had a bad cough/cold over the past week that has really sidelined him. I've been trying to get him to go get an antibiotic and he's been... totally ignoring me. Even Cosy, when she heard him coughing early on Friday morning said, "Awww... Pop will be ok...". Bless her sweet little heart... when the nurse at my doctor's office told her Friday morning, "I hope your mommy feels better soon... " Cosy just looked at her and shook her head and said, "Poor Mommy...." she's such a little mother.

Hugging/Wrestling... who knows?

He has a mouthful of popcorn

And... I think that's it. I'm going to include some photos and leave it here for now. I'm not trying to be a bad blogger... I'm just too tired for intelligent thought. Hope you've had a great weekend! Love and hugs!

Adventures with Cosy and Oliver

 

Back update: no improvement. I see the doctor on Friday. I am having a hard time sleeping even while taking ambien. The pain breaks through. I haven't checked my bp today.

Next order of business: the beginning of "date night" (and day and night and day) has been moved from Tuesday evening to Wednesday lunch date (and night and day and night). Don't want y'all to be disappointed when I don't check in from some place fabulous tonight... just know that I'll check in from some place fabulous tomorrow and then tomorrow night I'll have a fabulous What I Ate Wednesday post telling you ALL about it! (Well, all about the food anyways... *wink*)

I picked Cosy up this morning about 8:30 (in the car, I don't mean that I physically lifted her) and brought her to my house. She stayed and played a bit. She and her dad made a donut run... and then they took Jessi to work... and in between we played with beads and bubbles and used the bug zapper. She is addicted to these moronic toy opening videos on YouTube and I had reached saturation point today so I changed it to the Wizard of Oz in hopes of creating a new, much better obsession. Cosy loves to sing. She will sing "the itsy bitsy spider" with me as many times as I will. I'm out of breath and sweating and having a full on cardio workout from helping that spider crawl up the water spout a gazillion times and she's clapping her hands and saying, "AGAIN! AGAIN!!!". SOOOO... I thought, as long as I'm singing along and being animated, she might just be ready for the Wizard and YES, it worked! She did ask a few times to change it to her thing but I said, "let's just see if that Wicked Witch comes back...." and I did the evil laugh with her and... I'm not saying she's asking to be Dorothy for Halloween but she's definitely following the yellow brick road.

 
I have so much work to do with this one to fully indoctrinate her into loving musical theater. There are so many alternatives out there. She is a country girl, after all... but her name is Cosette and it would be a shame for that name to never been listed in a Playbill somewhere... is there any better name for a musical theater geek?

I digress. Austin carried down the laundry for me and Cosy helped me load the washer. This is one of her favorite things... watching my clothes take a bubble bath... see how even laundry becomes fun when you're looking through the eyes of a child?

  

I took a lot of pictures of Oliver when we FaceTimed last night. They were outside on his new trampoline so the light was good. He was tired and not Tigger bouncing all over the place like he normally does when we FaceTime, ironically, since he was literally ON A trampoline.... so I was able to get some photos that weren't just blurs. I just can't get over how beautiful he is... that gorgeous curly hair, his big brown eyes... he's so articulate and witty and smart. I had heard that kids who are bi-lingual sometimes have delayed speech but that's not at all the case with Oliver. I also wondered if he would realize that some words are English and some are Spanish because to him, they're all words, right? But we've noticed that he uses the same phrases with the the people he heard them from... and he ends up speaking Spanish with Marquee's family and pretty much just English with me, except for the Spanish phrases I use with him. It's fascinating to watch a little one grow up with two languages from birth.

 
What else can I tell you about Oliver? He's pretty much potty trained (still working on the poo... he tends to do that when he has his pullup on at night). He loves sports, just like his dad. He loves music and animated stuff and... really, all kinds of things on tv. He loves his cousin Cosy and has endless patience with her when she won't hug him or share toys with him. He will sometimes be an instigator, especially if he thinks he'll get a laugh like when he is persistent with trying to hug her and she is shrieking and pushing him away. We shouldn't laugh but it's just so stinking funny!  I won't make Cosy hug back though because I think it's important to let her know she has ownership of her body and doesn't have to share affection with anyone unless she wants to. (these are things I didn't think about as a parent but I think about now that I'm a Nana and have a lot more time and experience). (also, these are things I think about when raising a girl that never occurred to me when raising boys, which is sad, because boys get abused just as much, if not more than girls).

 
Oliver is outgoing and friendly and loving and smart... he will have the occasional meltdown as all three year olds do. He is constantly in motion, he mind works overtime. When we FaceTime he always has to know where Cosy is... where is Uncle "Hoggie"?... where is Pop?... where is the cat?... what are you doing? And when we start to say goodbye he will kiss the phone and tell me he loves me. He can show you how many fingers old he is and he can also make the sign for "I love you" in sign language. He is honestly, the most perfect little boy that I could ever imagine and I consider myself an expert on little boys. It's hard not living closer to him because I don't get the one on one time with him that I have with Cosy but we talk on Facetime a couple of times a week and I feel very bonded and connected to him. He has so many people in his life that truly cherish him and I know that he's growing up feeling loved and supported and will be able to do great things because he is loved.

And now... please, God, I'm going to try to catch up on a little sleep because my body needs rest, deep sleep rest, in the worst way. Hope you have a great day and I'll be back again tomorrow night with a restaurant review for What I Ate Wednesday!

 

Throwback Thursday - June 14

That awkward moment when Throwback Thursday becomes Flashback Friday... Wednesday night into Thursday became the worst headache I've had in a long time and I could not bear to even do something as simple as post a blog post that was already written. Boyfriend Brag Time: my guy gave me the most relaxing, amazing week(end) (which is actually most people's midweek but it's our weekend. It's complicated.) and took such wonderful care of me. If you've never been a single woman... or a woman married to a man who just doesn't give a rip what you're feeling like... which describes my entire adult life... you cannot imagine how lovely it feels just to have something as basic as, "can I bring you a cool compress for your head?" or to hear "I'm sorry you don't feel well" from someone who means it. He watched over me and let me sleep and made a superhuman effort to keep a quiet, cool space for me to be in so that I could be comfortable. It just melts my stone cold heart into a little babbling brook when he does these sweet things for me. He also fed me so that I didn't have to leave the house until time to go home. And I had to go home because there was this med that I've been missing, as described in my last blog post. I got home... called the pharmacy, they got it ready quickly and Austin hurried over to pick it up for me and although I have bit of a residual headache today, I'm so much better than yesterday!

So let's pick up where you were supposed to be yesterday with a review of blogs from YESTERDAY in blog history. I hope you enjoy!

It's that time of week where I look back to this day in past years on my blog and share a few clips and updates. Since 2017 and 2016 were a bit crazy... I'm going to start with this day in 2015. We had just returned from Connecticut (where we attended my brother's wedding, see Wedding Wednesday from last week if you missed the flashback). Cosy was here and melting my heart but Oliver was not yet here. I was looking forward to holding both babies at once and I have so many times since then... but what I wasn't prepared for, that has been the bigger joy for me, was their sweet interactions (and sometimes not so sweet) with each other. I never, ever, ever talk to Oliver that he doesn't ask me where Cosy is. Any time I say, "guess who is coming to play with you this week?" she immediately guesses Oliver. They might... possibly... who knows... be my only grandchildren and they might very likely be only children. I so very much want them to have each other to lean on! That's another thing about grandparenting... you find yourself focusing on helping your grandchildren foster relationships with other people who will be in their lives long after you are gone. Cosy is really attached to Austin's girlfriend, Jessie. I would be jealous every time Cosy asks me to let Jessie push the shopping cart instead of me... but then I think, if Jessie is involved in Cosy's life long term, I want Cosy to WANT to be around Jessie. I want her to be surrounded by people who love her and make her feel loved. This perspective helps me a lot in dealing with the fact that Oliver is so far away... he sees his other grandma and her mother and sister more than once a week and me just once a month, usually. As much as I wish I could see him more, I'm so glad that there are three other ladies loving him to pieces when I am not around!

In my blog post on this day in 2013, I talked about my thoughts about boys and girls (men and women) and their different perspectives in relationships. This was while I was in sort of an "I'm not ever doing that again" stage of life when it came to relationships but I still stand by what I said. If anything is different with this whole "later in life love" this time around, I'd say that it's taking my own advice of not trying to change him...

Girls fall in love with boys hoping they can change them.... boys fall in love with girls hoping they don't change a bit. And what happens? Guys do what they've always done and if they want to play video games from dark til dawn, they do. And girls get lazy, feeling unappreciated and... let themselves go. I've done it in every single relationship of my life. I've seen a guy as a rough draft that I can improve on... a fixer up, so to speak. And they see me as "move in ready" and expect things to stay perfect, with no attention from them. Relationships fail because we love people for who we want them to be, not for who they are.

If anything is different with this whole "later in life love" this time around, I'd say that it's taking my own advice of not trying to change him... just appreciating who he already is. I don't mean that we never have anything to gain, no opportunities to grow. I hope that I'm always going to learn new things throughout my life and I know he feels the same way. I'm talking about someone's fundamental personality and character traits not their knowledge and abilities.

On this day in 2012, I was getting ready to move back to Riverdale for (what I wasn't sure then would be) a short time and looking for gainful employment / trying to decide if I should go ahead and file for disability. When I look back to that period in time there was so much uncertainty in my life. I'm really glad that things are so much more stable now. Obviously, life can change in the blink of an eye but wow! that was a time of really big decisions. I moved to Riverdale in June and my parents bought a house in Cleveland in August. In the meantime I found a job in Fayetteville (near Riverdale for those who aren't local) and it was exactly what I needed to end my career with a little bit of self-esteem but also with the documentation that was crucial in getting my disability approved. Being able to attempt to work as little as an hour or two a day and not being able to do even that small amount of time consistently was key.

I really focused on finding humor in the situation back in  2011 as we were sort of figuring out that things were not going to get better. I read these posts in 2011 KNOWING that my house is about to get struck by lightning (literally) and I'm about to have to move and what little rest and comfort I had at the time (my home base) was going to be ripped out from under me. Of course, I also didn't know that I was going to find a cheaper, quieter place closer to work... and because of Renter's Insurance the move was going to be done by someone  other than me, including the packing. Yes, it was a real stressful situation at the time but it ended up ok. That's the important thing. It always ends up ok.

In 2010, I was getting back into Weight Watchers and did lose a good bit of weight before my back problems started and I had to get on meds that really don't allow me to lose weight. Even when I eat practically nothing for an extended period of time I don't lose. It would be great to have less weight to carry around but I'm not too stressed over it. I'm ok with me.

And that's all I have for this week! I hope you enjoyed this look back on today in my blog history. Happy Flag Day!

Update on Cosette and Oliver

When I was a kid I thought of grandparents as the "little old lady" and "little old man" although, to be honest, I had one older grandma who was probably more traditional and one younger grandmother who is still living at the ripe, young age of 94. Now we live in an age where Granny is more likely to be called Mimi or Missy and ... things are just different.

My "babies" (as I still refer to them) are 3 and almost 3. Cosette just turned 3 on April 29 and Oliver will be 3 in July. I see Cosy a couple of times a week and I see Oliver once or twice a month. I talk to Oliver on Facetime once or twice a week so... we're in close contact, even if I don't see him as often as Cosette.

Because Cosette's parents have sort of a fluid, make it up as we go along, joint-ish custody arrangement, and because Cosette's dad lives here with me and doesn't yet drive, I have more responsibility for Cosette than I do for Oliver. I do a lot more actual parenting of Cosette where with Oliver I have more of a traditional Grandma relationship. Things with Cosette's mom are currently pretty good. We have had struggles in the past and when things are going well, I am relieved and appreciative and NEVER take it for granted. It's been a lot of emotional, frustrating work to get to this point. Cosy is shy and introverted and can be a bit more clingy than Oliver... who is a free spirit and (at least for me) rolls with the punches. Cosy though, is my girl. She loves watching me do my hair and makeup. She loves dresses and tights and hair bows (finally). She hangs out in the bathroom with me while I take my shower, watching videos on YouTube and chatting with me. We love to go to Dunkin Donuts and get "pink" donuts for her and coffee.

Cosy is still very attached to her pacifier, although we are trying to substitute chewing gum instead. She is no longer addicted to Frozen. Minnie Mouse is her ride or die chick now. She loves animals and flowers and her daddy. She is happiest when she's outside working with her dad in the yard. She is also a mommy's girl. If we've been gone for awhile she will ask to go to mommy's house (and whenever it's practical, I will take her home... I want her to feel that I support her relationship with both of her parents, they are both important). She is a girly girl who likes having her fingernails painted (by her dad, of course) and loves to watch me put on makeup and fix my hair. She loves anything pink or sparkly.

Potty training with Cosy has been... complicated. She goes through spells where she goes potty for me like a champ and other times she screams bloody murder if I try to sit her on the potty. I would say she is mostly in big girl undies when she's with me during the day but is one hundred percent in pullups at night and about 90% in pullups when we leave the house. She hates diapers and pullups and wants to wear "Minnie Mouse undies" all the time when she's with me but... she can be sketchy about cooperating going potty.

Despite the additional work involved with getting her to go potty... I absolutely love the time we spend together while she's on the potty. I have a little stool I sit on in front of her and we talk while we are waiting for something to happen. I have been taking her to the potty with me since she was a year and a half so... I'm used to her company in the bathroom. My latest trick with her is to suggest that she try to "toot" while she's on the potty. It seems to get her to relax more and engage the right muscles to get the teetee out too. And as my honey always says, "farts are just funny".

Oliver is ALL BOY! He is funny and likes to make people laugh. He loves sports (just like his dad) and Mickey Mouse and superheroes. He loves the Toy Story characters, Buzz Lightyear and Woody. He will say, "to uh-finity and beyond!" like Buzz does. He likes to run and climb and has never met a stranger. He sometimes gives his mom a hard time and he cries when it's time to leave my house (which breaks my heart). He has infinite patience for Cosy who can tend to have a harder time sharing toys (because she's used to being alone with me) and who doesn't like hugs (the whole introvert thing). He has the most gorgeous, long curly hair that his parents haven't been able to bear cutting. One day, eventually. Right now it's sort of his trademark although I do with him the same thing I do with Cosy which is, immediately pull it back out of his face so that he can play without hair in his eyes. He is started to go potty... they use a combination of English and Spanish with him so instead of "undies" like Cosy wears, he wears "chonies". He will also tell you body parts in Spanish and English and sometimes instead of "I love you" he says, "Te amo" which... melts MY HEART!

I knew that I would love being a grandmother but I was completely unprepared for how intensely I would love these tiny humans. I can not imagine a world where I don't see them as often or where I might not get to talk to them as much. They are my people... my reward for putting up with their dads... and they bring so much joy into my life. It breaks my heart that they will probably not remember my mom because she loved them so very much and every milestone with them is bittersweet because she's not here to share it. I just try to love them like she would and I just hope I'm even half the grandma that she was.

Tell me about your grandkids (if you have them)... your favorite things to do together and your experiences with potty training! Love and hugs, y'all!