My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Friday, June 14, 2013

Boys and Girls

Last night we had some pretty dramatic storms pass through. They caused far more damage closer in to the Atlanta area but it was still a change in the same old/same old hot Summer weather. Austin came upstairs and said that it looked like an "old timey photo" outside - sepia tone. I didn't alter the color in either of these photos. It was definitely an eerie glow.

I took both of these through the  screened in porch and I love the texture it gives this one ----->

I also took a few pictures of the side yard. We take so many of the back of the house because the view there is so beautiful with the lake and all... but we're really in a lovely little wooded area. There are neighbors and sometimes you can hear them but for the most part, it's very peaceful and quiet.

 It almost looked like a small tree has blown over in the wooded area in front of the house but it may have already been that way. I'm not much of an outdoorsy girl. The screened in porch is about the extent of my communing with nature. Mama likes to go to the dock and fish and Oscar LOVES it. He dashes from side to side watching the water for fish. It's almost like he's some kind of retriever/hunting dog. Once Mama reels one in, he goes nuts. I'm going to try to get a videotape of him fishing...make one of those "viral videos" that they show on the news. And that will be my first trip to the dock since right after we bought the house. 
The thing is... that hill is so steep and the incline squishes those bulging discs in my back so - on top of the fact that I'm waaaay out of shape and it's a steep climb - it's a climb that also hurts like the dickens. So I mostly enjoy nature from the back porch.
Here's another picture of the really weird sky after the storm passed.

So we've had company for the past three nights. The first night I was... ok, Austin needs company. The second night I was... eh, a little frustrated because I like sleeping in my little space downstairs but I could sacrifice for one more night. Yesterday I was like... without having to be rude and say, "game over"... I said, "I'm sleeping in my space tonight"... and so what did they do? Set up in the living room and made that their little Honeycomb Hideout for the night. One night is company. Second night is pushing it but after the third night... you're paying rent. I was really trying to stretch our groceries since I haven't gotten the food stamp thing straightened out and just had a very VERY small budget to work from. Those two have eaten non-stop... and eating comes with leaving dishes and mess all over the house and I'm really, honestly at the point of being a really hateful person about it. And of course, since they slept upstairs, they're up here in the living room with their stinky boy smell. I unloaded the dishwasher very loudly and that didn't help.

However... one good thing that hanging with a peer does for Austin is makes him realize how much he doesn't want to be tied down. He had a nasty phone conversation last night with the girlfriend that was so loud they heard him on the other side of the lake... telling her that he didn't want to text back and forth 24/7 and that sometimes he was doing things (like playing video games) that kept him from being able to text. Here's the thing: yes, I think these guys need to get a life, stop staying up all night playing video games, be responsible members of society, take care of their responsibilities and so forth but you know what? They don't.

Girls fall in love with boys hoping they can change them.... boys fall in love with girls hoping they don't change a bit. And what happens? Guys do what they've always done and if they want to play video games from dark til dawn, they do. And girls get lazy, feeling unappreciated and... let themselves go. I've done it in every single relationship of my life. I've seen a guy as a rough draft that I can improve on... a fixer up, so to speak. And they see me as "move in ready" and expect things to stay perfect, with no attention from them. Relationships fail because we love people for who we want them to be, not for who they are. And I think it's so important to really read the fine print and know who you're getting involved with. Girls... you just need to know that these boys are still in the "all about me" stage of life. That will change, slowly, over time but probably not fast enough to suit you.

The other thing I always tell young folks is that you are nowhere near the same person at 20 that you are at 40. Oh, by the grace of God, you're not the same person! My twenty year old self was much more concerned with the superficial things and my forty year old self appreciates depth. My twenty year old self made selfish demands without gratitude but my forty (five) year old self is much more humble and grateful. Be humbly grateful, not grumbly hateful. The trick (I think) to extending a relationship through your own metamorphosis is to allow others enough space to figure things out and love them unconditionally. My last husband told me he didn't believe in unconditional love... which told me everything I needed to know about our potential as a couple. The only thing I can guarantee is that there are going to be times that I am less lovable.

These guys... they have a lot of growing up to do... but by the same token, without taking sides, I would encourage young ladies to not depend on someone else to entertain them or continually validate them. We (as girls) ask for more than most guys have to give. Any guy who gives you his undivided attention is probably a control freak and at some point you're going to realize that his attention isn't always positive. There's a delicate balance in there of not losing yourself to someone else and not placing so many rules that they lose themself in you. Obviously, I haven't figured out how to create that balance since I am, obviously, very single.

Anyways... I've had my shower, walked (WALKED!) to the mailbox, had enough of a breakfast to be able to take my (mild) pain meds (not the heavy duty stuff) made coffee, emptied the dishwasher, started loading it with the mess the boys left last night and got grossed out and had to stop. I'm gonna spend some time with sweet little girls this afternoon and hopefully, by the time I get home, this Honeycomb Hideout nonsense will have passed and I can have a peaceful weekend. I go to the doctor on Monday and may be heading South for a few days, depending on how well my Uncle is doing.

Happy Weekend, y'all!
Little Kitty watching to see who is coming up the stairs.