My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Stuff I'm Thinking About Today

Is 45 too old for french braids? I think not. Rocking two braids today.
Is it a waste to put on makeup on a day that you're probably not leaving the house? I don't think so. I go to the bathroom a gajillion times a day and I prefer having a pleasant reflection looking back at me when I wash up.
Every day I make a point of getting dressed, putting on makeup and at least showing a brush to my wild hair.
Well, most days. Lately.
It's sort of overcast and dreary out. Ever notice how green seems greener when it's not as bright out?
The look out our back side of the house is that gorgeous lake view.
The look out of the front windows is lovely, too, with the lush green wooded area.
And the squirrels who think the bird feeder is their fast food restaurant. One just bit the dust.
Do squirrels, like cats, always land on their feet? This poor guy hit with a loud thud.
Yesterday... after gearing up with our all day Toddlers and Tiara's marathon for the new episode that was to start at 9pm... we had a beast of a thunderstorm that temporarily knocked out the satellite. Fortunately it came back on just two minutes in so we didn't miss much.
One could say... I guess... that we wouldn't have missed much even if we didn't watch any of it.
Everybody needs something to look forward to, right?
Today our "thing to look forward to" is picking up my mom's computer from the young man from the church who fixed it for her. I hope it's fixed. She has had a problem where it shows that she has internet available but it won't let her sign on to the internet. He said it was working for him. Hoping this is true. We are internet addicts.
I have offered to share mine often but she knows that I'm lost without it.
Last night and the night before I had trouble going to sleep so I got to spend more time with my Nook. (that I adore, thanks again to Cody and Marquee!)
I finished reading a book about Joe Paterno. I read a few more chapters of Tim Tebow's book (which is just not as entertaining as I had hoped). And I kicked butt on the medium challenge level of sudoku. I'm a closet sudoku master.
Once while married to he who won't be named, he taunted me for doing the easy/medium challenge level of sudoku and said that I couldn't do the hard ones that he was struggling with. He gave it to me and I knocked it out of the park.
I'm smarter than I look and I do well with logic problems, despite the fact that I am frequently illogical in real life.
My Uncle is still doing poorly and your prayers are appreciated. My Aunt is exhausted. My mom's heart is breaking that she's not able to do more to help... she will spend next week, at least, down South helping out.
We are so blessed that we, as a family, have not had much to deal with in the way of lengthy illnesses of this sort and so I think we are not entirely sure of how to help.
Granddaddy passed away in 1978 and Grandma in 1998. His was an extended illness - brain cancer - and I was ten so I wasn't involved in the process much, other than staying over there to keep them company part of the time.
When Grandma was ill I was a young mother with three little boys and the youngest was not yet diagnosed with Aspergers but he was definitely already quite a handful and therefore my hands were, well, full.
I almost feel that my generation is missing the education of correct etiquette for end of life, as far as appreciating the obligation of supporting family members and so forth.
And again, this is a thing that goes on the "can't do list" for me, as I am unable to do much of anything that involves sitting for long periods of time, lifting anything, driving long distances and so forth so I am not in a position to question anyone else's level of involvement.
To be completely transparent, I am really struggling with interpersonal interactions because it's so very hard to participate in social activities. I either end up not feeling well enough to go or end up backing out because of anxiety about variables that I can't control - seating choices, for instance, length of time involved, and just anything that will cause me to be uncomfortable.
And I really don't want to be that PITA (pain-in-the...) high maintenance person who can't just go with the flow (something I was very good with in my former life, before pain). It's easier to just not do anything or go anywhere than risk being IN pain or being A pain.
I feel like I need to do something to change that but I'm not sure what to do.
I'm very sad for Paris Jackson. I know that's random but this is a child who has had a very screwed up existence and obviously doesn't have the skills to process real life. Anytime, whether for dramatic effect or cry for help or a legitimate desire to stop living that a young person harms themself, it's sad.
And so, that's about it for today.
Happy Thursday!

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