Is it Wednesday already? Times flies when it's standing still.
Today is another one of those days where I had to take the hardcore pain meds to be able to function. And by function, I mean - sit in the chair with the laptop in my lap and stare at the tv. Minus pain meds this morning I was writhing in pain... hot poker in my spine...
So I made the two phone calls I needed to make this morning... got a shower... cleaned up a little bit... ate breakfast (this is important, otherwise pain meds are no bueno)... and doped up.
This stuff is addictive and I hate it but I hate even more to need it and not take it because even though my quality of life has declined immensely over the past two years, there is absolutely NO quality of life when you can't get comfortable.
I have had to wean off one of my meds (the neurotin - sp?) because I ran out of the samples that the doctor gave me and the cost to purchase the prescription is $250 a month. Even if I HAD that kind of money, I couldn't justify spending that much, even for quality of life.
So I'm using the stronger, more addictive but much cheaper stuff to function. And again, by function... we aren't exactly talking about running marathons... but it is what it is.
It's weird... I read somewhere that if you truly have pain, taking pain meds don't make you *high* per say, they go directly to the pain and even if that is total b.s., I can tell you that I don't feel *high* on pain meds. I get really sleepy but can't go to sleep... and then I hit the peak of their performance and I have about two hours of really feeling ten feet tall and bullet proof. The trick is to not overdo it in that Superman phase or you end up feeling much, much worse. And then... the pain comes back. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Today I'm wearing my favorite maxi dress (muumuu) with the really soft and light weight hoodie. This is really the most comfortable outfit in my wardrobe at the moment and I would wear it 24/7 if it didn't have to be laundered occasionally.
I'm also rockin' the side braid and am so glad that this is relatively stylish right now. I haven't cut my hair in a year and it's the perfect length for a braid. I just use a good leave in conditioner and braid it while it's still wet.
I even put on makeup today. I hadn't for the past two days and I know it's purely psychological but there's something about feeling that I look halfway decent that makes me feel better.
Austin had Logan spend the night last night. They took over my Whine Cellar and played video games all night. They were fairly quiet and didn't interrupt my sleep, except for once but I think it was the cat who woke me up and I just happened to hear them. I would love for these two to be working or getting an education but I am glad that they have each other to lean on. It wasn't easy for Austin to make friends, especially when we moved around so much for those formative middle school years. It's not good for this kid to be hanging out with his mom and Mawmaw all the time. I'm glad he has friends. And Logan is good to the cats which makes a huge difference to me.
Before Austin went to sleep he made french toast for us for breakfast. He's a good cook. All my boys are. I'm only a fair cook. I mean, most of what I make is edible but I cook more from instinct and trial and error than I do by recipes or real instruction. I think some of that instinctive cooking has rubbed off on my kids and it pays off nicely when I get to enjoy the fruits of their labor.
I've got potatoes baking in the crockpot for our lunch/dinner. Not sure what we'll have with it yet. I could eat just that and be fine. We'll see.
A mini photo dump of my fur babies...
1. Trouble climbing up on the built in shelves... he manages not to knock over Austin's stack of YuGiOh cards.
2, 3, 4. Trouble on the back porch. I love how it looks like he's holding the flag... it was just the angle of the shot.
5. Stubby enjoying the back porch.
6. Stubby sitting in the nest, investigating my coffee.
Please continue to keep my Uncle and family in your prayers as he is still battling cancer and not doing well. Another Uncle is dealing with heart issues. My mom is one of seven kids and all are still living... but feeling the effects of long life.
Happy Wednesday! Love and hugs!