Summer Camp Memories

Miss Sassafrass - my niece Jamie - stylin' at camp (on the right) 

This week my nieces are at Summer Camp. The kids from our church go to a camp that is actually located within our small town. Unlike when we were growing up - or even like when my kids were growing up - the kids don't just disappear into the wilderness where you don't have a clue what's happening in their lives all week. The girls' camp is on Facebook (which is how I snagged the photos included in this blog post, used without permission but hopefully with forgiveness). I'm not sure it's better this way because looking at pictures of my girls this morning made me SOB! They're having such a great time and I know this week, like the others they've spent at camp, will be cemented in their memory for the rest of their lives.

Sarabeth says, "Hello Muddah... Hello Faddah"... 

In preparation for their week at camp, I sat down last week and wrote a card to each of them for each day to be delivered during this week of camp. I reminisced about my own camp experiences and shared some (brief) stories with them. Their camp allows you to drop off mail when you drop off the kids and the mail is delivered to them on whatever day you indicate. The girls were excited to know they had mail coming but wouldn't even look at the stack of envelopes because they didn't want to ruin the surprise! I've been excited all week knowing that they are reading what I've written for them and thinking about Aunt Heather at least once a day!

Jamie attacks the pirate

When I was a little girl I went to two years at Camp Pinnacle. It was (still is) located in far Northeast Georgia in Clayton, Georgia. Clayton the town, not Clayton the county. I used to always have to clarify that. It was about a four hour drive from home. I was 9 and 10 the two years I went. We slept in bunk beds in cabins and had a buddy from our church that we chose. The first year I was paired with a girl named Doreen. We never really clicked - she was a bit bookish and odd and I was more outgoing and loud. Between the first year and the second year of camp I got closer to my lifelong friend Dewayna (aka Tay) but when it came time to pick for camp, I picked Doreen again because even back then I was a girl who wanted things to stay the same. Dewayna eventually forgave me but I'll never forget hearing her on the phone crying to her mother, "I have to go with BETTY JO".

Other than that my primary memories of camp are having to hike Pinnacle Mountain (which I HATED), worrying about having enough money for the snack bar AND to buy craft supplies. I wrote about that in my notes to the girls - being sent to camp with only $3.35 for a week that had to pay for snacks AND crafts - and how God provided for me, even then. I remember almost all the goofy songs we sang - "Peanut, peanut butter - and jelly. Peanut, peanut butter - and jelly". I remember chapel services that were sedate and reverent and very much like all our church services were back then - conservative. None of these rockin' praise choruses that we get to enjoy now. None of that Pentecostal raising of hands in praise or shouting "amen".

Bethy on the zip line (on the right) 

The camp the girls go to is more adventurous than our camp was. The worship services are full of actual WORSHIP on a level that we never quite achieved. The facilities are new, modern and yet seem even more rustic than our old cement block cabins.

In my youth group we initially had two Summer camp experiences: Myrtle Beach and Trinity. Myrtle Beach was (of course) in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina which we would reach by traveling in an old school bus overnight after Sunday evening services. The journey was hot, sticky, sweaty and exhausting. The bus often broke down and left us sitting on the curb at a gas station in God-forsaken-nowhere while Papa Joiner tried to fix it. When we finally reached Myrtle Beach we set up tents in an ocean side campground and our meals were prepared on gas grills. We had lots and lots of Bible study and lots and lots of beach time. We had one night at the amusement park, one night at the water slide... and lots of time just hanging out. The two things I remember most from Myrtle Beach are the all-you-can-grab candy counter with every kind of candy you can imagine and the two-sandwich Chick-fil-a meal that we were given at the beginning of our journey back home.

Mess Hall at Woodlands Camp

Trinity was a camp that was set up on an island in Lake Lanier. There was no electricity or running water. A pit was dug for a privvy that we called "the wahine" for girls and the "mahine" for boys. We bathed in the lake. The girls' tents were set up on one side of the island and the boys' were set up on the other side with the adult tents in the middle. Meals were prepared on gas grills that were brought over on boats. I only remember one year of Trinity, I think it was discontinued after that. I forgot my swimsuit so I had to swim in a tshirt and shorts. The lasting joke - the funniest thing that ever happened at Trinity was Mary Beth Warren bringing a hair dryer - there was no electricity!

Worship Service at Woodlands

The Bible teaching and group bonding that I had during those weeks away at camp helped form my character and made me who I am today. Those friends from way back then are still friends to this day in many cases. It was such a precious time in life and such a wonderful adventure. My family rarely took vacations - there were too many kids and not enough money. These weeks at camp were my first vacations and my first grasp of independence. They are precious memories to me now.

I'm struggling with a lot of pain and depression this week. My money has completely run out. I've always had times where funds were low but this is the first time in my adult life where all my money was gone with none on the way. It's humiliating to not be able to even get a 99cent drink at McDonalds without asking for a parental donation and I hate having to be a burden on them. I'm facing having to close my bank account because I can't afford the $10 a month service charge and having to turn in the registration on my car because I can't afford car insurance.

Lake at Woodlands

It's absolutely demoralizing to have worked from the time I turned sixteen and to have nothing - absolutely nothing - to show for it. I'm grateful that I was able to make it through the first thirteen months of no income before reaching this point but man... it really stinks to be truly broke (not Hillary Clinton broke with millions of dollars in book deals in the bank). And I can't help but think - what if my case is eventually declined? What if there really is no money coming my way, ever, unless I suffer? I struggle to get through a brief trip to the grocery store... how would I ever work? It's been heavy on my mind this week.

Not Yo' Mama's Summer Camp! 

Mom and Pop have gone to spend the day with Grandma. She had a pacemaker put in on Monday and is recovering back at her Assisted Living home. She was having bouts of tachycardia and they hope this will regulate her heartbeat. Austin - who has been doing amazingly well at keeping his sleep schedule on a normal routine instead of his usual vampire schedule - graciously volunteered to do dog duty so I am not having to be up and down like I normally would be if my parents are gone. I'm so grateful for his cooperation. I'm even more grateful that some of stresses with him from last week have gotten better and he is doing much, much better with a much more positive outlook. It's a huge relief for me. The visit from Cody and Marquee went a long way toward neutralizing things up here.

Nothing at all like the lake at Camp Pinnacle! 

And... that's about all for today. Hope you enjoyed the trip down memory lane and I hope you enjoyed the photos of my girls! Love and hugs, y'all!

Answer Me This

Me on my 2nd birthday - just sharing because it's cute

Since my blog views increase by a few dozen every time I do it... I'm linking up with Kendra at Catholic All Year for her Answer Me This questions. It also gives me something to talk about when I don't have anything blogworthy to say.

1. Do you have a land line?

We have one but don't use it. The plan we're on charges something ridiculous for outgoing calls and since the number was never given out to anyone we know, if it rings we know it's telemarketing so it never gets used. We all have cell phones.

2. What is your least favorite food?

I'm about one rare steak away from being a vegetarian so most of my culinary dislikes are meat of some kind. I would never, could never eat organ meats - brains, intestines and other unmentionable parts that some consider delicacies however I also dislike red meat that is less than medium well or chicken on the bone. I love almost every vegetable or fruit you can think of and my diet is primarily vegetarian when I have the choice.

3. What's on your summer reading list?

I'm currently reading Appalachian Adventure - a journal with many, many photos of a group of journalists that collectively hiked the entire Appalachian Trail in 1994. Normally I'm not crazy about books that far back, especially non-fiction because non-fiction is real life and life changes a lot in the course of twenty years. The mountains, however, are timeless and I am enjoying every single page of this book. I'm also reading Rick Steve's guidebook to Rome. I know it seems sorta crazy to read a guidebook when I'm never ever going to be able to travel but honestly, it's a mental escape for me. Travel and biographies are at the top of my reading list for now. 

4. Is there something that people consistently ask for your advice on? What is it?

I get questions about the following subjects:

My grandma - around 1944

• raising boys
• raising a child with Aspergers
• costumes - especially period costumes because I'm such a history buff
• genealogy - Grandma called yesterday to see if I knew of any Revolutionary War veterans on her mother's side of the family. Why yes, there are FIVE! 
• insurance
• theatre and show tunes

Cody, Marquee, Austin & friends floating in the lake yesterday

5. What's the most physically demanding thing you've ever done?

Childbirth x3.  Nowadays the most physically demanding thing I do is walk down to the dock. I don't go down there unless we have company or something interesting going on down at the lake but I love it down there.

6. How do you feel about massages?
I've never really had one so I can't say. 

The next set of questions (I'm never really sure which set is the current set so I just go ahead and answer both because... why not?) 

1. What’s something you intended to do today, but didn't?

The day is young so I haven't disappointed myself yet. Mom and I did plan to go to the grocery store this morning but neither one of us is really up to it.

2. What's your favorite grilling recipe?

My cutie-patootie niece Jamie when she was around 3

I'm abnormally afraid of fire so I hardly ever do my own grilling but if someone is grilling for me I'm a big fan of kebabs and well done hamburgers.

3. What movie did you see most recently?

High School Musical 3 with my nieces.

4. Would you say your tendency is to over or under react to medical situations?

I always tend to lean too heavily on Dr. Google for medical advice which means that I can make a mountain out of any mole hill! However, considering that a lot of the stuff wrong with me is unusual for someone of my age, I can't really say that I over react because a lot of times stuff is really wrong. REALLY wrong.

5. Do you squeeze the toothpaste tube or roll it?

Squeeze because the kid does and there's no fighting it.

6. What are you doing for Father's Day? 

No plans as of yet. 

Friday the 6th

I have about two dozen blog posts swirling in my head but none of them seem to be making it to the keyboard. Some are too deep, too controversial, too sad... and some are pictures of cats and cute kids. I really feel like I could jump off either side of the bridge any moment: life is pure bliss or life is a hopeless mess. I could be easily nudged in either direction by the smallest of events.

My kid is going through such a rough time. You are only as happy as your saddest child. I look at the accomplishments of the other two and am so relieved that they are safe and happy and loved but that can't undo the heartache that I feel for the one lost lamb. His whole life has been a struggle for people to understand and accept him. To those who show him grace I feel infinite gratitude. To those who treat him with indifference... I understand and accept because I know he's hard to deal with but I still hurt for him. I don't think there's a day lately that I don't shed a tear for him. He's the child who has the least amount of contact with his father - his entire life has been about rejection from him. He's a pariah in our family for something that may (or may not) have happened when he was very young so he carries that burden. The Darby years were traumatic for him for several reasons and honestly, for every person who showed him any kindness there are a dozen who treated him like an outcast. Years of those kind of events and this recent breakup have left him really discouraged and just... lost. The people who are hardest to love are truly the ones who need it most.

He was dating a local girl that he had dated in high school. They got together last Summer just a few weeks after she had a baby. She told him that the baby was a product of date rape and ALTHOUGH the story always seemed sort of suspicious to me, I never challenged it because what if it HAD been true and something like that had happened and no one believed her. I'm such a huge proponent of choosing life, no matter what the circumstances that I wanted to support her decision to have her baby. As it turns out the baby was conceived with a boy who was going into the military and the story was concocted to keep him out of trouble. She got bored since he was away and basically just used my kid for amusement lying to him about her situation for the past nine months. Honestly, I'm glad that she's out of his life because the last thing he needs is to be with someone so dishonest and manipulative but he's hurt that he was made a fool for so long. It sure doesn't help him be able to trust in the future.

Otherwise... I had a great day with my nieces yesterday. We went to Babyland General and then to the peanut stand for boiled peanuts. It was a hot day and I did a lot more walking than I'm used to so by the time I got home with them I was really feeling awful. I don't know if it's the meds or the pain but I was so sick to my stomach that I just knew I was going to have to pull over and throw up on the way home. The road that leads to our house is so curvy and those curves were killing me! I knew that if I got sick it would freak the girls out - I had the air on full blast and was breathing deeply trying to keep it together. We got home and settled into my very cool Whine Cellar and we all just sort of melted. When my mom popped down for something Sarabeth said, "Mawmaw.... Jamie needs something for lunch... and so do I..." and that's the last thing I heard out of her for a long while. She woke up long enough to eat and then crashed for the afternoon.

Jamie built her little nest on my blue rug with her special pillows and blankets that I keep tucked away in a cabinet in a trash bag so that they don't accumulate cat fur (she's allergic). Mawmaw set up a laptop for her and we watched a few episodes of My Little Pony. Sarabeth had booster shots the other day for middle school and I think that's what wiped her out. Whatever the cause... I'm your go-to-guy if you need a lazy afternoon. After awhile Jamie and I went outside to sit in the porch swing and then picked blackberries.

I'm not getting enough sleep at night because Little Kitty has become so needy and demanding that he wakes me up several times a night to PET HIM. I used to be able to tuck my arms in the blankets and he would think that the hands were gone so petting time was over. Lately he's been starting at my shoulder and tracing his paw down my arms until he finds my hands and then he'll use whatever means necessary to get that petting machine turned back on - nipping at me with his teeth, tapping me with claws, whatever it takes. I could just close him out at night but I'd miss his demanding little self. Austin's been sleeping better at night and I think Little Kitty is missing playtime with Austin. It doesn't matter how late I fall asleep or how little sleep I get, I'm wide awake by 8am at the latest and have a hard time getting a decent nap. This morning Pop had to wake me up to find the keys to one of his cars. I had driven it yesterday with the girls and was so sick when I got home that I dropped the keys in my purse instead of hanging them up. That particular car is the one with his golf clubs in the trunk and he was going to play golf so... after that I made an early morning (before it got too hot) trip to the store to buy more luigi's italian ice.

In other news... the geese around here have gotten really aggressive and come all the way up to the back porch. The yard is covered in goose poop and feathers. I guess that will translate into a really green lawn at some point. Pictures of geese replacing pictures of cats today.

You're all caught up for the weekend now! Love and hugs, y'all!

Picture taken through the sliding glass door... that's how close they are. The novelty of having geese nearby has truly worn off!

Tuesday Newsday

I'm addicted to this stuff... it's blurry because I enlarged the product photo from the website... Luigi's Real Italian Ice, mango flavor is my new crack. It's only 100 calories - but of course I have to eat two or three a day. I guess that's better than eating two or three packs of Little Debbie's a day. I even drove into town yesterday despite feeling icky JUST to get more mango ice. Sad but true. I bought the orange flavor to try but it's a little bit bitter to me. Mango is the jam.

I finished reading the book Empty Mansions about the life of Huguette Clark. It was interesting. I always feel like I should give more articulate book reports but honestly, "interesting" is about the best I can do. I'm glad I bought it. I enjoyed reading it. It was an easy read - much easier than the biography of Queen Elizabeth I that I was reading before Empty Mansions and picked back up last night to finish. I haven't been to the library in the past two weeks, trying to catch up on some of the books on my Nook. I'm missing my library time, though. It's a good excuse to get out of the house but it becomes quite a chore when the books are due back and I don't feel like going into town.

My oldest child is (or was?) in Tyler, Texas for work. He works for an organ company, installing organs and speakers and he travels all over the place doing it. I rarely know from week to week what part of the country he's in so I get tickled when he posts pictures from random spots. He is based in Zionsville, PA.

My brother, the one that lives in New York City, is going to be doing some work in Philadelphia for a month or so. It would be nice to take a trip "up that way" to visit both of them... however... the truth is that they both work so much that they don't have time for entertaining and I work so little (never) that I don't have money for traveling. So there's that.

Ryan's girlfriend Sara is a doppelganger for Hayden Panetierre. (a doppelganger is someone who looks like someone else). Sara is finishing up schooling to be a vet tech. She's got a real sweet way about her with animals. I love that my two "daughters" are both educated and ambitious and passionate about their careers. If you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life. I also love that my boys are experts in their chosen fields and are good at what they do. It gives me hope that Austin will one day find his career path since he has such good role models.

Austin has had so much drama in his life lately. I feel bad for him. He got a call from an old girlfriend (from back in high school) who was trying to convince him that his most recent girlfriend was cheating on him with this guy - Thomas - as far back as January. She got this Thomas character on the phone and the two of them had Austin all wound up. However their credibility is doubtful as Thomas said he had to get off the phone because he was "in the military" stationed overseas and had to get up at 3am his time - overseas. This was at 11pm our time so... depending on where he was allegedly stationed it was already well past 3am. Austin figured that out on his own. I don't know what those two had to gain by teasing Austin that way but if I run into the old girlfriend in Walmart (it seems like she's there every time we go) I'm going to share my thoughts with her. She's married and fat, she needs to stay out of Austin's life. Not that I have anything against fat people. I'm just saying she's settled and there is no possibility of her and Austin having a relationship ever again so she has nothing to gain.

I've been struggling with the evil gut pain and lately it radiates to my spine so the whole left side of me hurts, in a semi-circle from my belly button to my spine. Percocet barely takes the edge off to the point that I can function but I can't imagine trying to "gut it out" without it. It always seems to start overnight for some reason. One day when I finally am able to get this diagnosed I'm sure all these little clues will make sense but for now, I just try to keep focused on good things ahead. My nieces are spending the day with us on Thursday... Cody and Marquee are coming up on Saturday... the Tony Awards are on Sunday night. I can get through this hour and the next hour and the night and tomorrow and that's how I mentally push through it all. It makes the good things - like mango italian ice - a great diversion.

I ordered some lights for my room about a month ago. I had gotten an Amazon gift card for my birthday from a sweet blog reader (thanks again!) and I bought the bulletin board that I showed you a few weeks ago and these lights. They are like Christmas lights but designed to be used year round, like on plants or such for decorating. I wanted them to string around the top of my room. I don't like sleeping in a dark room because I get up so often during the night and am predisposed to wrapping my toes around corners and doors and other obstacles. Having cats means that you can never be sure what obstacles might be in your path... and I hate the shock of turning on the light when I get up. I wanted something with a softer light than my bedside lamp. WELL... finally the lights came yesterday and my mom (my partner in crime) and I started putting them up when Austin came in and told us why we were doing it wrong (we weren't) and finished up for us. They aren't perfectly perfect but they are much better than Christmas lights since they have the white wires instead of that Christmasy green that stands out. ANYWAYS... they have seven different patterns of lighting, blinking fast, blinking slow, fading in and out, that sort of thing. I absolutely love them! I took down the vintage dresses I had hanging up in my room because we have a moth problem and I don't want the dresses to get damaged. You never know when there might be a girl in our family who is tiny enough to wear grandma's wedding gown.  I really need shadowboxes or some other method of display for them. I'm thinking of hanging a sage green set of sheers from the ceiling over my bed like a mosquito net to take away from the stark purple of that wall. More pictures of lights...

And to wrap this up... a few cat pictures because what is a blog entry without cat pictures, right? 

 Trouble stalking a frog through the sliding glass door....

Eddy "Dog" - our cat that thinks he's a dog. We've been shutting the door to the basement at night to keep Lily from wandering downstairs in the middle of the night which means that Eddy has to stay in the basement at night so that he has access to the litter boxes. At first he was unhappy at being separated from his bestie - Lily - but he's settling in nicely. He particularly enjoys Jamie's rug and I think it really sets off his ginger-ness.

 He also enjoys cuddling with the stuffed animals. 

And that's about it for now. Happy Tuesday! Love and hugs, y'all!

My Opinion On Lots of Things

After a 1am visit from Lily, the old dog who cannot climb stairs... that required Austin to walk her around outside in the pouring rain while I ran upstairs to unlock the doors to let them in... and caused me another way too late night and far too little sleep... I woke up at 8am to my happy child whistling while he worked outside in the garden. Because he doesn't work well with others... and doesn't process things the same way that the rest of the world does... he ended up highly upset about an hour later and today will be another that he sleeps away.

As a parent you're only as happy as your saddest child. I feel such a huge burden to be Austin's ambassador to the world and the world's ambassador to Austin that I truly fear what will become of him when I am no longer able to serve in that capacity. Things can go from whistle happy to slamming doors and cursing so very quickly. It's heartbreaking to witness.

So I'm somewhere between exhaustion from not getting enough sleep this week and sadness for my child and pain from all the things in my body that don't work like they should. It's a battle to stay positive and not be overwhelmed by the emotions of being me. My favorite distraction is Ye Olde Internet and I have worn out the surfboard today searching for anything and everything ELSE to focus on besides riding the waaaa-mbulance. It's much easier to sit around and pass judgment on other situations and I thought you might like to hear what I think about random things.

Like... high heeled shoes. Why purposely make your feet hurt? They are supposed to make you feel sexy but they make me feel like I'm tiptoeing on broken glass. I hate them so much (as I shared with my friend Gina this morning) that I can't even stand to see those little high heel cupcakes that everyone keeps pinning.

The whole mess with the VA hospitals infuriates me. We are paying for sex change operations for prisoners but let our nation's heroes die on waiting lists for treatment they have earned through being willing to die for all of us. I have a dear friend whose father died at the VA in Atlanta due to malpractice. Our VAs are the worst medical delivery system in our country when the people they serve deserve the best. And how in the world can anyone watch how things go down at the VA and think government involvement in health care is a good idea???

Global warming baffles me. I know now that the politically correct term is "climate change" because things aren't that warm after all but when I hear nonsense like what I heard out of Bob Beckel on The Five the other day... that the oceans are going to rise by fifteen inches in the next fifteen years due to polar ice cap melting I think, seriously? Do people really believe this?

And speaking of politically correct... last night I had a great time watching the National Spelling Bee but it was really odd how the commentators never discussed that 90% of the finalists were of Indian descent. Obviously there is something about that culture that results in exceptional spelling ability but everyone is so afraid to point out anything unique about one race or another for fear of being accused of being racist. How did we get so wound up about race that we can't even say GOOD THINGS about one race or another?

Kimye - the whole Kanye West, Kim Kardashian marriage. First of all, this is a man who has publicly spoken about his dislike for white people and he marries a white woman? He is a huge narcissist who has no self-control. and she obviously has impulse control issues considering her last marriage lasted only 72 days. How long until the headlines are about their divorce and custody battle?

I am generally publicly neutral about other people's path to spirituality. I mean, I may have opinions about certain things like snake handling and Jehovah's Witnesses not celebrating holidays but for the most part, I keep those things to myself because hey... my path to enlightenment and yours may not be identical. However I'm pretty sure that Scientology is a stupid, brainwashing cult and I automatically subtract points from anyone who is caught up in that nonsense. This means that I can't watch Tom Cruise movies or listen to Jennifer Lopez sing. I'm delighted that Leah Remini (a character actress that I really enjoy) left the cult before her daughter reached the age where she would begin undergoing "audits". Honestly. Any so-called religion that is harmful to children is not a religion, it's a cult. That's all I'm saying. Say what you will about evangelical Christians but I had a safe, happy, sheltered childhood with many happy memories of church experiences, not post-traumatic stress from being audited.

I'm still enjoying my book on Huguette Clark and still binge-reading travel blogs featured on Rick Steves' website. Both are allowing me to experience life as others have lived it and that makes me very happy. I'm splitting my reading time between those two interests.

Have you heard the news story about the baby who was horribly burned in a drug raid gone bad? That happened in the next county over... very shocking and sad. The sheriff in that county is a friend of a former co-worker and I know he's good people. I have just always felt that when you associate with people who are doing bad things, you expose yourself to things that might not otherwise have happened. This family, unfortunately, had lost their home due to a fire and was having to stay with family members and I can imagine that this might not have been their first choice for a place to raise their kids. My oldest son was once caught up in a drug raid at his grandmother's house (not my mother). He was in the shower when the police barged in and pulled the shower curtain down on him. He was ten. His grandmother's husband was heavily involved in drugs although I did not know it at that time. From that point on my kids never spent time at her house. I would have been glad for her to spend time with them away from her home and her husband but that did not happen. Relationships are important, family ties are important but exposing children to drugs is too big of a risk.

Celebrities that make me roll my eyes in disgust: Rhianna, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, the aforementioned Kimye, Brad Pitt, Alec Baldwin... and others to be named later. Celebrities that fascinate me for a variety of reasons: Jim Parsons, Mayim Bialek, Neil Patrick Harris, Ina Garten. Celebrities that I'm on the fence over: Tori Spelling, Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon.

And... it looks like it's going to rain. With that... I'm officially out of topics to discuss. Hope you have a happy, safe weekend. Love and hugs, y'all.

Holiday Haze, Lost Track of Days

Weeks that begin with a Monday holiday screw my internal clock up, even now that I live in a household where nobody works or goes to school. I've just felt like I was in some sort of time warp all week. Not the fun kind, like in Rocky Horror, just a weird floating feeling. Or maybe it's the meds.

I joke. I only have two meds that are mind altering and I try not to be under the influence of either for any longer than necessary, especially not all week.

I got out and about yesterday long enough to pick up the family's weekly prescriptions at the pharmacy and make a quick stop at Ingles. I'm very much addicted to caprese salads and have to make sure to keep stocked with fresh mozzarella. We have a nice basil plant on the deck outside of my parents' bedroom. We don't have any tomatoes yet and I swear, I always feel a little ashamed to purchase tomatoes from the grocery store in early Summer. It's like everyone is judging me for not growing them myself or at the worst buying from a farm stand. I think within a week or so we'll be set for tomatoes for a little while and I can caprese to my heart's content without having to go through the humiliation of BUYING tomatoes!

We're also still dealing with an ice issue. I have lost count of how many times the appliance repairman has been here trying to fix the ice maker but it's often enough that he knows the names of our animals. The plumber had to come last week because the water to the ice maker sprung a leak and still, it's not working. We're back to waiting for the repairman to come back. There should be a lemon law for ice makers because this sucker is not even two years old. I need my ice. I gave up coffee about a year ago. I gave up Little Debbies about six weeks ago. I rarely drink adult beverages because of the possible interaction with my meds. Ice is my vice. I need cold beverages on hand at all times (except when it's cold and then I need hot beverages on hand at all times). So I had to pick up a bag of ice at the grocery store yesterday. It's heavier than what I should pick up and I have paid for it ever since.

Yesterday was also Cody and Marquee's 4th anniversary. It's hard to believe that much time has passed already! I talked to Cody last night. They are planning to come up here with some friends the first weekend in June to go tubing. The Chattahoochee River winds through Helen and it's a big tourist attraction here to "shoot the Hooch" on an inner tube. I've never done it... I'm not really a fan of soaking my seat in cold river water... and I always worried that I would scrape the bottom or get my butt stuck in a tube or something equally embarrassing. The kids love it though and I'm excited to see them and my granddoggie Sammy.

I've been trying since yesterday to conduct a mandatory phone interview with the food stamp people. It's really annoying. They call you and say, "I'm agent number 2034 and I'm calling to conduct your scheduled interview. Please hold while we connect you with an interviewer." And then you hold until you think your ears will bleed from the hod music and then get disconnected. When you call the number they tell you to call if you get disconnected,  you press the right buttons and nothing happens except sending you back through the phone loop over and over again. After about thirty tries this morning I finally got through and it said that the system was overwhelmed. The frustrating thing is that if I can't complete the process -- even though I've done everything I'm supposed to do as far as going to the local office and filling out paperwork on time -- if I don't get this interview done within the time limit, I lose my food stamps. It's not that we will starve but honestly, that little bit of money every month is the only tiny bit of financial freedom I have. Since the Social Security office takes a year to eighteen months to schedule a hearing for me to be able to get the disability that I've paid into for 27 years and I can't get what I'm due that way... since the fact that I live in a state that isn't participating in Medicaid expansion that would allow me medical care that I desperately need... I feel like this small sum of money is the least, the very least they can do. All things being equal things are not equal. Ok. End of rant.

My brother and several members of our church left this morning for a mission trip to Kenya. He's an old hat at this but I do have some friends that are going for their first time. I worry (only a little bit) about the normal travel risks and I worry (a little bit more) about political instability and terrorists and that sort of thing but for the most part I am immensely proud of the work my brother and friends do over in "deepest, darkest Africa". It's a huge deal for my sister-in-law to be a single parent while he's gone but fortunately she has her mom and my parents and me to help out with the girls. I worry more about Angie here at home than I worry about Jim over there in Kenya and I'm glad we're close by.

My brother is such a hands on dad... I never had that... when my kids' dad wasn't around our lives were no different than when he was around. It was actually easier for me for him to be gone because then I didn't have to worry about waking him up in the morning (which was ten levels of Hell) or finding him passed out drunk somewhere embarrassing (like the time a friend stopped by early in the morning to let me know he was passed out in the garage naked - with the garage door open - or the time he woke up passed out in the lobby of a Kroger store and had no idea where our car was). Anyways... it's completely opposite with my brother in every possible way and Angie and the girls really, really miss him when he's gone. It's a huge personal sacrifice every year for him to go but I know he makes a huge difference for the people there.

I had a few days with no evil gut pain but it is here today, uglier than ever. I wore my favoritest, prettiest dress and worked extra hard on my hair and makeup so that I would look good even if I didn't feel good.

Austin started his day by making muffins for us all and cutting the yard. He's been in a huge, huge funk lately over his breakup with his girlfriend and has been pretty much worthless. Before I even knew he was upstairs baking this morning I prayed that God would give him a good day where he would be productive and feel better. I was relieved to see him motivated and productive this morning. His finger is looking a little infected which has me worried. He's not the cleanest fella.

When Austin came in from cutting grass this morning Little Kitty was walking beside him begging for attention and Austin didn't notice him and stepped on him. Little Kitty cried out like I've never heard him cry before and went and hid under my bed. I laid down on the floor trying to coax him out to check on him and hurt my knee trying to get up. The good news is that the cat is fine. The bad news is that my knee is KILLING me. Such is life.

Anyways. I've been your ears (eyes?) long enough. That's what's happening around here. Hope your week is speeding along happily! Love and hugs, y'all!

I Spoke Too Soon

No sooner do I bemoan my perfectly boring life and my kid trips in a gopher hole while holding hedge trimmers and slices his finger! Pop rushed him to Habersham hospital and they glued him back together.

They weren't even out of the driveway when I hollered up for mom to throw me down some trash bags. Dishes have been dwindling and I knew it was time to do a recon mission in Austin's room. It's very rare for him to be gone from the house for long so I knew this was the perfect opportunity. I'm sure this detracts from my points toward "mother of the year" for my kid to be bleeding to death and my first concern was cleaning his room. That's just how we roll. My mom came down and joined me in my quest so she loses points (or gains them!) for grandmother of the year as well.

Austin has a serious hoarding problem. I say that without any exaggeration. You would have to see it to believe it and I would be humiliated to let you see it. I don't mind clutter as long as it's not invading my space. What I mind is his grow your own antibiotics farm. And it makes me feel horrible that my parents, who do so much for us and sacrifice a whole floor of their house for us to have a place to live have to scrounge around to find enough forks for dinner because my kid has them under his bed. It's a serious problem.

Mom and I barely made a dent but we did find a lot - UH LOT of dishes. The kid is mad and frankly my dear, I don't. I really don't. He's complained multiple times since and my answer is always the same, "don't make it so that we have to go in there and we won't."

I'm not a clean freak by any stretch of the imagination. I have a few obsessive habits that make things tidy - I cannot leave my bed unmade, I wash dishes as I cook - things like that. I don't vacuum - hurts too much - and I don't sweep or mop for the same reason. I have a habit of trying on several things and/or wearing things more than once between washing that results in a pile of clothes accumulating from time to time in my room but my room is clean and organized. Things have a place. I know where stuff is at pretty much all times. I've never asked my kids to keep their environment spotless but I draw the line when their mess interferes with my standard of living.

Anyways. So that was more excitement than I bargained for yesterday. Today was an appointment at the pain clinic. It was uneventful except for being able to verify that nothing they're prescribing me could be leading to the elevated liver enzyme issue. I don't know what that means in terms of what could be causing the problem or even if it's a problem. I have a faster than usual heartbeat but that doesn't matter as long as the rhythm is normal so this liver thing may just be not a big deal, too. At least I don't have to feel guilty for causing damage by taking pain meds. Or by drinking because I hardly ever do. A couple times a year, maybe, but never much at a time.

No pictures to share of the kid's room or of my doctor's visit so you'll just have to use your imagination. And that's all I've got for today... so far.

Happy Tuesday. Love and hugs and all that.