My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Saturday, November 8, 2008

saturday morning

I'm going to work at nine. I didn't set an alarm because "I'm always up". I woke up at 5am and willed myself to go back to sleep... and just woke back up at 7:30! I had a split second of panic thinking, "It's daylight!" But then I realized that I still had plenty of time to throw on my clothes and work up a ponytail and head to the office. Since we don't have posted Saturday hours and I only have two appointments scheduled, there shouldn't be much traffic through the office. I'm definitely not working at the whole glam routine. Apparently I needed that extra sleep...

So the thing with Austin and his little friend... this boy came to our house last night and Austin told him that he couldn't be friends with him... after I talked with Austin and we set some boundaries I allowed him to call the boy. He came back to our house then to apologize to me... that showed me a strength of character. I told him that Austin was the one who had the burden to do the right thing toward his mom and that only Austin knew what he was told he could and couldn't do and only Austin knew the limits of my financial situation. However.... I asked if he was willing to help remind Austin to do the right thing and use good judgement...and he said he would.

Then he offered to help do chores around the house to pay me back. I told him that he already helps Austin do chores and that was enough... that if he could just remind Austin every day to do what he's supposed to do and behave, that would be payment for me. He said his stepdad would bring back the gas money to me today when he gets paid.

And this, my friends, is the real root of the problem. The stepfather used bad judgement... but he also was broke and doesn't get paid until today and he had two kids that he was responsible for while their mother works... and he doesn't speak good english and is not a native of this country and probably didn't have a good understanding of what was acceptible... or maybe he did and saw an opportunity... I don't know.

These facts remain for me: 1. I need to keep Austin on a tighter leash. 2. I need to not allow Austin to use judgement or have control over money. He's not ready. 3. I need to more closely supervise his friends and the environment they live in.

I have been mesmerized by the beauty and magic and kindness of this place and it surprised me to find any ugliness here. I still need to be diligent in my supervision here, just as I should have been anywhere else.

Consequently, Austin has to go to work with me this morning and he is sooo angry about it! Oh well!

Hope you all have a great day!
Go Gators!


I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

It never hurts to keep an eye on what they are doing for sure. Hope your day at work is a good one and you can enjoy your Saturday! 'On Ya'-ma

*Tracy* said...


Kelly Dawn said...

have a wonderful saturday :)


Myra said...

You opened the line of communication with the friend, and maybe he doesn't get that at home. Kids love when we talk to them, and helping them to see what is right and wrong is a lifelong lesson

Tina of Moon Shine said...

that boy sounds pretty mature. is he of the same race as his step-dad? Most kids would not have made that gesture so someone, somewhere, has taught him correctly.
I hope you enjoy your day. it was gorgeous here.

Peaceful Epiphany said...

I don't think you found ugliness. I thing you just found a glitch on the happy radar screen.

The boy who is Austin's friend sounds very sorry and clearly wanted to make up for the blunder his stepfather did. And he named issues his stepfather is facing like the language barrier and so on. It sounds like this 15 year old carries a LOT of responsibility at home.

I would definitely take more time with those boys as they bond and get to know him better. Take them out for ice the park, see what his interests are. See what his home life is like. Take an opportunity to meet his mom and get to know her a little. Be the June Cleaver "make the chocolate chip cookies" get out the board games and play monopoly for a while with the boys tomorrow and see what you can find out about this boy and his home life in casual conversation.

Just some random ideas to figure out if allowing Austin to invest his heart and soul into him is worth it or NOT.