Continuing my theme of whining as little as possible... and just letting you know what's up without all the woe.
This morning I decided that I needed to get out of the house for a little while. Not that it's unpleasant here... quite the opposite. There's plenty to eat... my room is big and comfy... I have lots of fur-babies to keep me company... It's just that I don't have the usual issue of kids who need to be various places (other than taking my daughter-in-law to class but usually my mom does that)... I don't have the responsibility of running a household, from the perspective of paying bills (dad usually does that online) or shopping (although I do enjoy grocery shopping with Pop on Saturdays)... me, Pop and Cody sort of alternate cooking but I don't do it every day... I try to do the dishes before they pile up and I make coffee if Pop hasn't yet... I make my bed the minute I'm out of it (as usual) and I keep my space relatively tidy... but for the most part, I don't have much that I HAVE to do so I've been just in sort of no-makeup, hair in a ponytail, staying home and not spending money kind of state.
My big adventure for the day? Thrift store shopping. I bought four new pairs of shorts a long sleeve hoodie made out of tshirt material, a big roomy sleep t-shirt and a great cowl neck top. I also bought a pair of Old Navy capris but the bad news is that I'm so fat now that even the fat pants don't fit. Ugh. I'm taking them back. So... not counting the Old Navy pants, for all of that - seven pieces of clothing - I spent about $16. You can't beat it. It's guilt free retail therapy.
I also went to Chickfila and used the change in my car to buy a large lemonade. I'm not boycotting Chickfila as some are, due to the company position on gay marriage. I think the Cathey family (which owns Chickfila) are good people, I know that they have changed many, many lives and enabled many young people to get an education, I know that they support their community and do a lot, a lot of good. My opinions on homosexuality are based on my personal experience - Purple Michael has been a very good friend and co-parent for me. My friend Charlie has practically raised Ryan. Austin still talks about Josh (whose mother cuts my mother's hair) and how he took such good care of him. Joey opened up opportunities for me in theatre that I would have never had before. I love these guys - and many other gals and guys -with all of my heart....I want them to be happy. However, I am weary of the politically correct police who want to basically banish Christianity or anyone who believes differently from them. Our society has evolved to the state that Christianity is "bad". I love and appreciate the gay men who have literally colored my life. I also love Jesus and I love my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I'm a conservative Christian who votes Republican and loves a lot of people from a lot of different walks of life and believes that we all have the right to believe what we believe. I don't want to take sides. I just want everyone to love one another. The greatest commandment is that you LOVE one another. I don't have it all figured out. I don't really know how to reconcile these two different ideologies any more than I know how to foster peace in the Middle East.
But the lemonade at Chickfila is awesome. And that's all I have to say about that.
A few of you have asked about Austin and I really don't have much to share. He's still, to the best of my knowledge, living with his married friend. I don't believe he's working. My brother tried to take him to lunch and Austin was busy doing some game thing and couldn't go. Austin called and asked his dad for money and his dad refused. I sent him $40 (that I didn't really have) and paid to have it sent priority mail so he would have it the next day (it cost $5.90) and although the post office shows it being delivered on Saturday morning, I didn't hear anything from him until Tuesday. And that was after me making several attempts to connect with him on Monday. I was THISCLOSE to asking the Sheriffs office to do a welfare check on him but I didn't. He finally, on Tuesday afternoon, sent a text that said, "yeah. got money". No "thank you"... nothing. I was worried about keeping his cell phone paid for so that we would be able to get in touch with him but... yeah... I'm over that.
Speaking of cell phones... I changed my plan from a $60 a month unlimited talk and text to a plan that gives me 250 minutes of talk and unlimited text for $25 a month. I never talk on the phone. Never, ever, ever. The only time I might use my cellphone is if I'm out in the car and have car trouble OR if there's a time sensitive thing that needs to be discussed before I get to a landline. I do text. Slowly, but I text. So this plan makes much more sense for me right now.
Back to Austin - I do worry about him but I also know that worrying won't change his perspective. He's got to go through this process in his own way and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change his mind. He is emotionally about five years behind his age and so - in my heart- it's like leaving a 13 year old kid to fend for himself with people who have demonstrated to me that they have poor judgment. Even if I had all the money in the world and could afford to allow him to live the way he wants to live - I wouldn't do it. I had a dream the other night that I had delivered a baby and left it at home alone... and all my friends were asking who was watching the baby and ... yeah, it's fairly easy to interpret that I'm feeling like I have a helpless child out there all alone without supervision. But the fact that he's not taking advantage of the resources available to him - the Vocational Rehab place, the many, many businesses within walking/biking distance from where he's living that he's never bothered to apply to, the fact that he only took flipflops with him and sees no problem with applying for work wearing flipflops, the fact that he'd rather download some games than have a free lunch with Bubba, the fact that he didn't want to have lunch with me when I had the opportunity to see him... this tells me that he's going to have to find out the hard way that the path he's own may seem smooth and easy but it's really a rocky, steep, unpleasant journey that he's mapping out for himself.
And... so that's the deal with Austin and that's what's up this Wednesday.
Love and hugs, y'all!
The Lost Mail and Express Building - 203 Broadway
10 hours ago
2 comments:
glad I stopped by. I am making my rounds again and getting back into blogging.
My nephew is 17 and has the same challenges as Austin. sometimes i want to wring his neck. The aspy may explain his behavior but as you know, it doesn't excuse it and boy the challenges there!
and I rarely talk on the phone either. I text!
Tina, formerly of Steel Mags & Hairspray, now of Moon Shine.
Thanks for stopping by, Tina! How are your girls?
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