My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Friday, October 10, 2008

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe

Instead of Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, for me it was fried eggs and biscuits at the Cleveland Country Cafe.... best breakfast I've had in a very long time. I bought a newspaper and enjoyed my coffee and eggs medium well, chicken tenders, biscuit and gravy... mmm! There was this sweet boy named Cody who was the waiter and he was charming all the old ladies... asking about when they had their hair done and such. He may have been a little light in his loafers but you know I'm partial to sweet guys *wink*. I think half the town passed through there while I was having breakfast... and it's only a mile or so from my house. I could walk if I was feeling industrious... although we're in a little valley so the walk up the hill would be a bit strenuous.

My furniture is ON the way! Bubba just called and he is also getting a tv stand and tv for me! How awesome is that? I moved the books that were in that big pile to the bookshelf in my room (a little plastic one from walmart) and to my dressing table.

We have decided that we will be leaving for Jacksonville around 8am tomorrow. We're taking A.T.'s van and should be able to get the things I want/need without any trouble. Cody and his girlfriend Marquee are going with us. It's sort of a trade-off - we sacrifice a little space to have more help. A.T.'s boyfriend is paying for our hotel room... yet another person who has helped make My New Life possible. I'm humbled and touched and amazed at the genuine goodness of mankind... even people I've never met...

It's amazing to me to realize how much "what happened to me" has affected others... and how people process such things so differently. There were those who rushed immediately to my side... and those who are just now starting to speak up and say, "I hope you're alright now". Both are so valuable to me... and both groups had important roles to play in my life. I'm learning more about how those events affected the people in my world and am acutely aware of my responsibility to those who love me to be safe, happy and healthy. I'm also sort of reconstructing events to be able to know what triggers there were and how to know if I'm ever in trouble like that again. We all have regrets... and in the same way that I'm healing from my wounds, the people I love are healing from those "what if's".

The truth is that people don't know what to do when someone around them is suffering. Sometimes people don't recognize the suffering. Sometimes people don't realize how deep it is. I kept up a really good front.... kept up appearances... until the last week or so when things were just crumbling around me to the extent that I could no longer cope. I think we have a tendency to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. And there was nobody who could give me what I needed in those last days because I was beyond reach at that point. The only thing that could have logically been done was to put me in the hospital before anything happened... but we just weren't in a position to be proactive in that way. I needed to work. We thought I'd pull out of it. It just didn't happen.

I say all of that only to say this: you never know what may be happening in the hearts and minds of those you come in contact with. You never know if the kind word you speak may be the spark they need to be able to carry on. I would have collapsed sooner had A.T. not come to visit in June and Jim and Angie in July and Cody in August. That extra bit of love and attention got me through what would have otherwise been a dismal summer. When you ask, "How are you?" Listen to the answer. Make it not just a greeting but an invitation. And by all means, if you feel things slipping away from you and you don't know who else to talk to, talk to me. I understand. I won't have all the answers but I know where to get them!



moshell's lilbit of space said...

I had a bacon biscuit this morning :)

You are moving forward so well, have a safe trip & get what you can!


Love the house....(and all the makeshift tables) very nice....

Indigo said...

Hi hon, I used to follow you on AOL...a while ago. Glad to find you here on this side of the Blogsphere. (Hugs)Indigo

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Maybe someday you will be able to help someone else. For now be thankful and count your blessings.
Have a good trip. 'On Ya' -ma

Happy Being Me said...

I admire your heart and your strength. This is what it's going to take to keep your new journey alive. May God continue blessing you and yours,
Take care of you my friend,
May your up and coming trip be a safe one!

Barbara said...

You are so so right! I work in retail at a rather upscale mall in Columbus OH and most days when isay, "hi, how are you" I get the usual fine.....but there are other days I am sure I am the only person the customer will come in contact with that day...and well, I hear all kinds of stories. Mostly the older ladies and men like the attention, and love to gab, but some days its the new moms with no one to talk to but kids.....they just need that adult conversation. Some days I feel like the local psychologist...maybe like Lucy in Peanuts, I should hang a shingle... have a safe trip, our thoughts and prayers are with you!

Unknown said...

Great post!

Anonymous said...

I regret that I physically could not be there with you in Jacksonville, but you've been on my heart and my mind for quite some time now. I'm not so sure that my presence there would have stopped what happened from happening - it's almost as if you had to remove yourself from the situation you were in (unfortunately, almost permanently)in order to be able to see the other side . . . the side where Heather could be happy and healthy and with a renewed focus on God. God is so good. He gave us all a gift when he saw you through that weekend. He also put so many people in the position to be able to get you out of Jacksonville. I will forever be greatful to your parents for going to J'ville to get Austin, to Whitney (and even Michael's mom) for coming to see you in the hospital, for AT, Jimmy and the boys for making that trip to bring you home. I've thought the "what ifs" so many time - and it still brings tears to my eyes. I am so thankful that you seem to be doing so well - and that sofa looks comfy enough for me to sleep on! I'm serious - I'm planning a roadtrip to North GA!

Myra said...

I think so many people who truly cared for you TRIED to talk you out of this 2 years ago, but you wouldn't hear of it. So you detached yourself from those who could went against what you wanted. You said it so well when you talked of your desperation for love, and nothing was going to stand in your way. You had to go through this. Luckily, you came out of it a wise woman, indeed!