My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

it's too cold, my head hurts, i can't eat and other complaints...

I started writing a status update and it felt more like a blog entry...
I'm wide awake at 5am and I want to leave this house and go to work.
I'm tired of nesting. I never thought that would happen but I'm tired of being here in the same room 24 hours a day.
I need to go to the bank and the grocery store in a bad, bad way.
I want to go to work. Did I say that already?
I can't, though. I can't sit for more than a half hour at a time.
I can't eat. I have finally unlocked the greatest diet secret of all time: if you know it's gonna hurt like broken glass when it comes out the other end, you're very careful about what you take in.
Yesterday I ate a fruit and yogurt parfait from McDonald's.
That's it.
I've got to do better. I'm not going to heal this way. I've got to get some protein in me. I can't remember the last time I had a real meal. Sunday I had a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Saturday I had some rice. I've got to get back to work.
I have a nasty headache, can't even pick my head up off the pillow. I'm sure that's from not eating but also from not having coffee. After being up all night Sunday night I didn't want coffee, I wanted sleep.
I slept alright last night.
Little kitty woke me up a few times by patting my cheeks. It's annoying but so cute that I don't get mad at him. I think he was cold. It's really cold outside - 22 degrees - and I know that's not cold for some of y'all but it's cold for us. I'm so glad that Austin's still on Winter Break so that he doesn't have to go to the bus stop in that cold. They don't go back until Monday. They had a three week break because the new middle school is ready and they had to move into it.
It's a real pain to type laying down.
With the Iowa caucus today, Fox and Friends is on early today. It's kinda crazy the way that we let two random little states carry so much clout in our presidential elections: Iowa and New Hampshire. I don't think I have any blog readers from Iowa or New Hampshire so I think I'm safe in saying that. By the time they have finished voting, we've usually got a candidate in place... so the "big" states don't have as much of a say. Although, honestly, in this race, Romney has been the presumptive nominee for six months now. It's really more a question at this point of who will be the VP - and I'm leaning toward Marco Rubio from Florida.
It's now 21 degrees and my stomach is churning. I dread going to the bathroom so much... I can't even tell you.  I am beginning to wonder if I'll ever be normal again. I'm worried about not going to work and yet, I know that there is no way I can sit for any amount of time and this morning I'm so dizzy and headache-y that I can't sit at all.
Even when I'm not in pain... all it takes is one trip to the bathroom and I'm in tears.
I know I needed the surgery... there were a lot of times that I would pass a lot of blood. It was something that had to be done. I just wasn't prepared for feeling this bad for this long. I figured... if anything ... by the time it was time to go back to work that I might be a little lazy but I had no idea that I would still literally be unable to sit.
Yet, I will say this: today is better than yesterday. Yesterday was better than the day before. I'm getting there. It just hasn't happened in MY time frame.
It's 20 degrees now. I guess the temperature will keep dropping until sun up.
I'm going to have a cup of coffee and get a shower and maybe have some oatmeal. Maybe that will get me back on track.
I also have the new Beth Moore bible study on James, I think I need to start digging into that. Maybe refreshing my soul will heal my body.
Love and hugs and Happy Tuesday, y'all.

4 comments:

Pamela Walden said...

Man, where was my head when I stopped at your house on Sunday morning? I had 4 cans of chicken noodle soup in the bag with special bottles for you--found them all in my car yesterday.

I'm thinking I put a date on the soup I brought to you; but if you've still got some, don't eat it--it's overdue for safe eating. I'll bring you Campbell's if you need some. Just let me know.

Unknown said...

If your body is craving protein but you system tells you it will hurt afterwards try a protein drink or shake. Might not have the texture but your body needs it. (its a liquid so it shouldn't hurt)

Red_Hot*68 said...

Check in with your doctor - let them know where you're at with pain, eating, bathroom habits, etc., - they can help you judge if you are progressing as you should, or if they need to see you.

Unknown said...

would this help..it would cushion parts you need without putting pressure on the painful parts

http://shopboppy.com/shop/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=1

Its supposed to be for babies but if you were to use it you would have a padded seat without the pressure on the painful parts