My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

un-whiny Wednesday

Looks like another rainy morning here in Hooterville. I'm going to volunteer to take Austin to school. I feel time slipping through my fingers. To be able to spend a little time with him on the way to school is a blessing. In 49 days he'll be 18. For those of you who are real life friends but aren't in my day to day existence at the moment, I know that seems as surreal to you as it does to me. AUSTIN, little Austin... goofy, little dirty "lostin" will be able to vote.

And, as he warns me, get a tattoo. I'm not opposed to tattoos. I have one. A small, very discreet one. I tried to caution him to be careful about that process... what you're committed to at 18 can be so very different from what you're passionate about at 40. He wants to honor his grandfather who was killed in Vietnam. I support that. I'm just concerned about him putting something vulgar or that could be misinterpreted in his later years.

He also wants a cigar. *shakes head* What can you do?

Anyways... it's Wednesday. I have worked two full days in a row this week. I have some tender parts but God continues to give me strength. Yesterday on the way to work I prayed that God would allow me to be a blessing to someone. I am learning new humility along the way because I'm not physically strong and I do struggle at times to keep pain from being a distraction... and I'm feeling a little out of the loop, as you can imagine... and that I have lost my edge... so that was my prayer, "Let me make a difference in someone's life today". And of course, it actually happened. A client had a death in the family and needed to make arrangements on their bill that was coming due with us. I (of course) offered my sympathy and the conversation led down the winding road of our similar situations as single moms to boys... and we laughed and commiserated and at the end of the conversation she said, "I'm so glad you were the one who answered the phone... I needed to laugh to day". And I thanked God. I needed to feel worthy.

And there was another young lady whose father had told her not to talk to anyone but me about her problem. That was a sweet validation for me and such a blessing. I keep moving forward in this season of life, suspecting that God has a different season ahead for me soon as my child-rearing duties change to adult-mentoring duties... and I am sensitive to the work that He began in me in this career almost ten years ago... and how He is being faithful to use me even now.

I had this concept wrapping around my mind yesterday about being a Crisis Christian and how limiting that is. It's like we - I - to be honest - have my little god in a box on the shelf to use in times of trouble in the same way that we keep our fire extinguisher under the sink. When someone dies I sprinkle a little "our thoughts and prayers are with you" their way. When money is tight I throw up a little wish or two that God would help out. But it's mostly me, myself and I running the show and... can we face it? Running it badly. How different would my life be if I could be instead a Consistent Christian... making Him the center and focus and decision maker for all things in my life? What if I followed God as faithfully as I follow Tim Tebow (or... insert any distraction, addiction, situation or relationship that comes first for us).

I wrote the word "crisis" on my hand yesterday and mulled it over in the times that I had time to think. I guess, ultimately, if you really believe (and I do) that there is an afterlife, a "just reward" on the way... if you believe what the Bible teaches, that we, as Christians, are in this world but not of this world... if you realize that the light and momentary troubles are achieving for us bigger and better things in the scope of eternity and if... like me... you realize that in this world we WILL have trouble... HE tells us. It's not supposed to be a cake walk for us. Satan seeks to kill and destroy. Man - fleshly man - is set against us. We are set apart, designated to be salt and light so that others can come to Christ.

Some of us were born to be afflicted. For real. Like... every struggle I face presents for me an opportunity to lead the way for others... to give encouragement... to truly be able to say, "I know what you're going through and here's what works for me"... and in addition... since I've been such a hard headed/hard hearted stubborn soul... it's no wonder that I keep having to learn the same lessons over and over again. Most of us ARE in crisis, most of the time... in one way or another... and I guess it's up to us to either be all "woe is me"... or "WHOA! is me!"  Stop allowing our life to be a life of crisis and turn it into a life of consistent commitment lived out to honor Him.

Most of the time it's all about perspective. I'm in pain today, I won't sugar coat it. But I've lived through two really awesome victorious days this week where my life was changed and I was blessed enough to impact the lives of others just by getting out of bed and doing the things that are my responsibility to do and I just really want more of THAT. I want the suffering if it means that I'm going to have a closer walk with the Lord because of it... and even better if my being closer to Him helps others draw closer to Him.

Anyways... time to soak in the tub... do a little bible study before time for my cross county journey. Please be in prayer for my strength today... I've got a little extra something I desperately want to do today and I know how my flesh almost always defeats me in this effort. I need to be propped up a bit, if y'all have time and don't mind.

It's Whiny Wednesday and I forgot to whine. Oh well. God bless, y'all.




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