My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Whiny Wednesday - with my thinking cap on...

I've had my thinking cap on lately.
Not that I normally go around like a zombie.
I just feel that God is revealing things to me that I would normally miss... for no other reason than I've asked Him to.

I feel this enormous burden to pray for people. Evangelicals call that "intercessory prayer". I've just had this overflowing heart for people in my world. Yesterday after I mentioned praying for prodigals... the Lord showed me more and more people - not necessarily prodigals - just people who were standing in the need of prayer.

What a blessing it is to realize how many lives intersect mine... despite the fact that I am such a homebody.
I realized yesterday morning that I was entering my mission field... that I WAS in full time Christian service, as long as I would choose to serve the Lord wherever I was.

And at work... from the 88 year old widow who is adjusting to losing her husband of 55 years and the loss of her vision... to the dad of the 17 year old with leukemia who has been receiving treatment since October and they've had to go to stronger treatments... to the man who had his assets frozen by the IRS... there are a lot of walking wounded out there who need the kind of encouragement and compassion that I am uniquely gifted to be able to give. I truly care about these people. I don't just endure their phone calls and questions. I am honored to be the one to help them.

But I don't have to tell you that... a lot of you are walking wounded yourself. I'm going to do a better job of praying for you too... because you're important to me.

Something else God showed me... another Tim Tebow lesson... so often in my job I feel ill-equipped and unsuccessful. I feel underpaid. Unappreciated. Disrespected. Maligned at times. And yet... every day I can point to client after client whose lives I have touched, people who ask for me because they know the compassion I bring to my job, people who are in our agency only because I'm there, only because of what I do.

I'm not a salesperson by nature... but I'm still successful in what I do. Timmy isn't a traditional quarterback, but he gets the job done.

Something else I realized... just as I'm not as good at sales as I am with service... I'm not as good at evangelism as I am at discipleship. I don't always have the words to lead people to Christ... but I'm good (I think) at helping people know how to live a Christian life.

Just as I'm not a great performer but I'm great behind the scenes in the theatre... with organization, support, costuming...

This is the reason I always say I'm a "fan of fans"... I love watching people who are passionate about things. My heart is to help people be even better with what they are best at.

I was excited to move here to be close to Jim and Angie so that I could be supportive of their ministerial roles by helping with the girls. It hasn't worked out that way. Illness and injuries and pain and fatigue have plagued me the whole time I've lived here. I don't feel any closer to them than I did in Jacksonville. I'm not a part of their ministry. Most of the time I don't even know what they're doing. And that's my fault. I've been so absorbed in walking zombie like through my life, stumbling, struggling... barely getting from point A to point B.

Yet. I believe that nothing in our lives happens by chance. Even when it could be used for evil. God has shown me a lot through my struggles. My deepest desire is to take the very things that have prevented me from doing what *I thought* I would be able to do... and use them as a springboard to strengthen my relationship with God and more importantly... to be serving God through my circumstances.

It is difficult ...but it is helping me to exercise discipline that I have needed to develop my entire life. Instead of stomping my feet, throwing a fit, engaging in confrontation, so far, by the Grace of God, I have absorbed the information... I have recognized what it is and I have set my intentions on being where God wants me to be, being WHO God wants me to be and letting Him control my circumstances. If God is for me, who can be against me? No weapon formed against me will prosper.

Do you see the process that has happened in my heart? If I am meant to be there... God will make a way. And if that job ends for me... God will make a way for me to do whatever He intends for me to do and I am resolved to serve Him wherever I am.

You know what Tim Tebow says to people who tell him he's not good enough? He says, "pre-shate it". Recognizing that he isn't enough in himself lets people know that GOD has raised him up to be able to do what he needs to do.

When David faced Goliath and was mocked and teased that he couldn't kill that Giant... David gave them his testimony "I have killed the lion and the bear"... and he went on and did the thing that God had told him he could - and should - do.

This Whiny Wednesday, I know for sure...in this world we will have troubles, Christian friends, but take heart, God has overcome this world. When you're feeling stepped on and beat up and insignificant and weak... know that in your weakness, He is strong.

Whether I succeed or fail, I know that God has a plan for my life and I just have to keep my "thinking cap" on and let Him guide me.
Have a great day, y'all.

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