My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Ultrasound Numero Dos for our Cinco De Mayo Baby Lindo

Happy Sunday Evening, y'all! It's weird, even though I am no longer working, weekends still seem to fly by insanely fast. I had meant to post about the latest ultrasound of Grandbaby #1 from last Thursday and haven't stepped out of my usual schedule long enough to do it. I've been sewing, watching CSpan book talks, watching football, still trying to finish up the current module on Khan Academy (4th grade math - I'm not kidding!), spending waaaay too much time on youtube and fighting the good fight.

This morning I took another fall which was not as bad as some of the others I've had but it was still painful and I'm sure it will be even more painful over the next few days. It's ridiculous... I was standing beside my recliner leaning across the recliner to unplug my laptop and it was a position that I apparently can no longer hold because I just belly flopped on the recliner. I'm short (not sure if you can tell from my photos but... I'm only 5'1) so leaning over beside the chair, I didn't have far to fall but I braced myself with my hands to keep my head from smacking the end table and the muscles in my arms/shoulders are sore... not to mention the pain in my spine that comes from any sudden movement. It was stupid. It made me feel like a klutz. Every time I tumble and stumble and fall I just feel so out of control. The truth is that my core muscles are just shot because tightening my core hurts my back and that evil gut pain so... apparently I can no longer bend at the waist. That happened.

Back to the doctor visit... things were somewhat awkward at the first visit because Tasha's mom said a lot of things that just made things uncomfortable... you know, things about sharing the expenses and details about Austin's relationship with his dad and Austin's autism ... just stuff I'd rather talk about somewhere other than a public waiting room. In between the two visits baby mommy and baby daddy had a pretty intense disagreement about things so that had the potential of making things even more awkward... and I had been probably too vocal about being uncomfortable at the last visit (so what do I do? I repeat it again, because my initials should be TMI) SOOOooo I decided it would be better for us to meet at the doctors office instead of all riding together. It's about a ten-fifteen minute drive, not far but when things are awkward, a minute is too long for me. Austin and I arrived in quite a jovial mood because the truth is... my kid is funny and we have a good time together. We walked into the waiting room and I cheerfully greeted Tasha and her mom and... *crickets*... from mom. Tasha was pleasant and cheerful and, I think, glad we were there. Her mom would not make eye contact and throughout the entire visit never said one single word to Austin or myself. Not. One. Word.

So that was awkward but... honestly... Austin and Tasha and I chatted and had lots of pleasant conversation and had, in my opinion, a really good time. Pictures of our little Cinco De Mayo baby are posted throughout this post. I'm still guessing it's a he but we can't do a gender scan under the insurance until 20 weeks. We have the option to pay $90 as early as 16 weeks to get an advance peek but I don't think that's going to happen. Everything looks good with the baby and Tasha is doing well and... I wish we could find a happy medium for grandmother relations but... I am at a loss. I've never done this before - the whole grandparenting thing. I've dealt with my older sons' in-laws and I guess I'm just spoiled by how wonderful Marquee's parents are to Cody and how kind Sara's parents have been to Ryan. I know Austin's not where he needs to be yet as a father and provider but I'm just not feeling the love toward him and I know him well enough to know that if he feels uncomfortable in a situation he is going to just avoid that situation. We did put an embargo on overnight visits until things calm down between baby mommy and baby daddy but I really go out of my way to encourage Tasha and be understanding with her. I feel like Tasha and I have a good line of communication and I genuinely enjoy being around her.

The bottom line is that there are two things that are always touchy subjects for me: my kids and my money. I've had to defend Austin his ENTIRE life and that's not going to change. I'm in the midst of a financial drought and there's nothing I can do to change that (or believe me, I would have). I know there was probably a better way for me to express how overwhelmed I was at the first doctor visit with those two subjects being the primary topic of conversation but ... honestly... that's why I don't interact with people very much any more. Pain robs you of tact. It's sad but true.

Anyways. It's a good thing that pregnancy is 40 weeks long because I think it's going to take that long for us to all get our ducks in a row. In the meantime... how precious is this?

Good night, love and hugs, y'all!


1 comments:

Wendy in Oz said...

Hope you aren't in too much pain from your fall. As always love your post and as I said before, love love love the last pic of Auggie! Just such a precious smile. As for the outlaws, it really is up to her to come around now. You have a good relationship with Tasha and she with you. Now it's up to her mum to make the effort with you and Austin. It has to work both ways. If not she is the one who misses out on two great people! Just my opinion!
Love n hugs from Oz...xxx