Raising Cosette - Life In A Multi-Generational Household

When we first began to discuss the possibility of Austin and Tasha moving in here with us... I had reservations. We were going through a time of uncertainty with my mom's cancer. I was dealing with a lot of pain and exhaustion from trying to do the things that my mom would normally do for me. There's a dynamic of guilt that comes, even with grown kids... when they do things that makes them more difficult to live with... like leaving dishes in the sink or leaving any mess... or being too loud or... anything. Sure, the flip side is always the pride that comes from seeing my kids act unselfishly and with compassion to help out around the house... but the guilt is a real struggle. Also, as an introvert, every extra person who comes into my daily orbit creates another relationship to negotiate. There are so many days that I'm in too much pain to nicely say, "go away" and it's hard to express, "I love you but I don't want to spend time with you". And I was afraid that would all be multiplied times a thousand when it came to my precious little granddaughter. I don't ever want to think or feel "please go away" where she is concerned. If she is in the room, no matter how badly I feel, I am going to hold her. I just am. We've adapted to where she will sit beside me in my big recliner and play with whatever is nearby - iPhone, laptop, camera, her little purse, gatorade bottles - but there are still times that holding her, even just on my lap, will hurt.

But ultimately, the situation was such that we needed Austin and Tasha here and they needed us. Their room here is bigger than the room they had at her mothers. We're mostly passive people and my parents have a stable - almost 50 year - marriage. We have a lot more living space. As a family unit, although we had not had a baby in the household for many years, we have a lot of experience with babies. This is a good place for Cosette to grow up.

No matter what of my reservations have proven true - and some have - the ultimate reward for having a tiny little girl in our home has far outweighed any problems. She loves her Mawmaw, especially now that Mawmaw has recovered enough to hold her again. She loves Pop and giggles when he talks to her. She's gotten to spend a lot more time with her "big" cousins and she loves them- almost idolizes them! It's fun to watch how she plays with them, like she realizes that they are kids like her, even though they're big like the grownups.

Tasha is good about seeing if I'm up to company before they come down. I've gotten better about saying, "I can't today" even when I really want to see my girl. I don't know if this is a little girl thing or just Cosette's temperament but she is mostly content to sit and play with her little pocketbook on my lap. She will sit beside me and play for an extended period of time. She's starting to like books - she's a fast page turner but she does like books. Sometimes I get down on the floor and play with her... the getting back up ain't too pretty but I can do it.

Yesterday she was a bit cranky so Mawmaw brought her down. Initially she was out of sorts to the extent that she didn't want Mawmaw to put her down even to hand her to Nana. (my mom is a baby whisperer) I got her a piece of swiss cheese to snack on. She's learned to sip through a straw so I gave her a little carton of orange juice to drink. She sat sweetly on my lap and nibbled like a little mouse at her cheese and sipped on her juice, enjoying having both Mawmaw and Nana close by. I keep thinking about that little scene because it's such a great reflection of living in a multi-generational household. There is almost always an adult who has time to see to her needs. My mom and I get to love on the same babies... not that she didn't love my babies, because she did - she kept them while I worked - but we didn't have a lot of opportunities to just sit together and enjoy my babies - when one of us was with them, the other one had other things to do. Now we can just sit in adoration and compare notes and photos of the adorable things she does (and that Ollie does).

It's just a very sweet blessing, something that I never really anticipated in this time of my life... having a little girl to love on and help raise... and I'm just really grateful.

Love and hugs, y'all!