My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Wednesday Update *yawn*

Sciatica is the special of the day. I've been battling a loss of feeling in my left leg for a few days now. It's a numb kind of pain, if that makes sense. There is a sharp pain at the base of my spine - the kind you would withdraw from if you could, you know, like when you stub your toe or touch the tip of a needle, your reflex is to move away. When you can't move away and your body wants to, it makes your heart beat faster and you get a little lightheaded and it's hard to take a deep breath. Then, from that place, following a line down my left leg is that numb pain. There are muscle spasms in that same hip, I think from trying to pull away from the pain. That's my life right now.

At any rate... I was scheduled to work from 9 to 2 this morning and even after a nice warm soak in the tub... I know I'm not going to be able to handle even my abbreviated schedule today. We already have sort of a contingency plan in place for days that I can work some but not all of the time that I'm scheduled so... I called... and I'm going to come in during the lunch hours and work about three hours. It's not much but it's more than I've done over the past four days.

I'm disappointed in myself and embarrassed, even though I know it's beyond my control. I want to cry but if I start, I'll end up with a headache so I'm just being pragmatic and non-emotional about things. I am determined to celebrate ability and not mourn disability. I will do what I can do for as long as I can. I haven't left the house since last Friday so if nothing else, I need to get out of the house for a bit.

Some of you guys are in the path of that big ole snowstorm. I have extreme snow envy. I don't want the misery of power outage or getting stuck on the road or anything but I do want to look out on a snowy scene just once this year. And... it's not likely. We'll be near 70 degrees this weekend.

Yesterday was my scheduled day off (how do you take time off when you never work? that's my life.) so I made a big crockpot full of beef stew and some homemade rolls. Neither was REALLY that time consuming   but by the time I peeled and chopped and stirred and got things going, I was pretty miserable. It was totally worth it, though, sooooo good! Cody and Marquee came over and ate with us.

My mom's firm last day of work is Friday. I say "firm" because she's been trying to quit for the past year. She'll miss her kids but her vision is not great and she has a hard time seeing when it's still dark out. It's hard to walk out in traffic in the dark when you can't see well. Time change (this weekend?) means that it will be darker longer in the morning and that makes it really rough on her. She's got lots of plans of packing up this house to get ready for the move to the mountains... and cooking... and whatever else she wants to do. Pop will retire at the end of this year.

My oldest is getting a new car, his first NEW car ever. It's a 2013 Chevy Cruze. It's really surreal when two of your kids are driving newer cars than you. I'm not jealous... I'm just really, really proud of how hard they work. And I am still amazed at how these two babies of mine grew to be independent, functioning, contributors to society. And this gives me hope that the third baby will, too, in his own time.

Anyways... that's about all... I'm just going to watch tv and play online until time to go.  Happy Wednesday, y'all.


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