My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Random Tuesday

It turns out that I was scheduled to work Monday and Wednesday this week and not Tuesday and that's ok.

It's not much cha-ching but yesterday was painful and I was needed at home today anyways so that mom could go sit at the hospital with Uncle Charles who is in step-down and really needs someone to be with him and my Aunt is really, really tired. If mom's not here there's no one to take care of the fur-babies. They were by themselves for about five hours yesterday and you could tell that their little bladders were about to bust by the time I got home.

Oh, and I woke up with blisters on my back from burns from the heating pad. Which I have since put away because even though I have MISERABLE muscle spasms away from the warmth, it's become obvious that I have too much nerve damage to safely judge the appropriate temperature. Of course, the nerve damage means that the blisters don't hurt that much. I noticed them because I was scratching my back (out of habit more than because of an itch) and my back felt wet. I checked it out in the mirror and realized it was a blister that I opened up by scratching and that the blister had several friends.

I am so sick of my "woe is me" blog entries but I have to tell you what's happening because the three-dimensional people in my life are so sick of hearing it. I mean... they haven't said that but in my mind that's the case.

I am also sick of saying, "WE DON'T EAT POOP" to the four dogs here that think the litter box is their candy dish. It's like when my kids were little and I used to have to constantly say, "STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE" and "QUIT TOUCHING YOUR BROTHER" and "WE DON'T EAT POOP!!!". What is that saying? Same... stuff... different day.

Work yesterday WAS good. I so very much enjoy being there, I enjoy doing what I know how to do. And even though I haven't been able to work as many hours as I would LIKE to work, I know that God put me in that place because if my working years had ended where I was a year ago that I would forever doubt my abilities and I would forever struggle to overcome the lack of kindness that ended my career. Instead, I'm in a place where they care, they are supportive and encouraging, they pray for me (and really pray). I even got a really sweet card and a bag of Easter goodies from the girls in the office.

When these people ask how I'm doing, I know that it's from a place of genuine concern. There is no bitterness or anger toward my restricted schedule. There is no guilt handed out for how busy they are when I'm not there. They respect and appreciate my efforts. I feel validated. We don't always get that in this life and I'm a big enough girl to know that just because others may have agendas that won't allow them to validate you doesn't mean that you aren't deserving of this validation. However, the truth is that this final gasp to do whatever I can do would not be possible in the least if I didn't have the kind of support I get from my co-workers. They are simply the best. I could not have dreamed of a better work environment. Trust me when I say that I don't take that for granted!

So... tomorrow I'll work and then we'll pack up the car and head to the hills. Other than that one night in February I haven't been to the mountains in three months. Crazy, isn't it? I think that's the best way to determine how I'm feeling... the fact that I haven't taken advantage of my time away from the office to be in the mountains. I just don't feel like moving a muscle. But... we're going up tomorrow - me, mom and three dogs -  and Austin and his girlfriend are moving in... and we're keeping my girls on Thursday (and we are SOOOO excited!)  and fixing a birthday cake for Austin's girlfriend and grilled chicken for dinner with rice from the rice cooker (I almost typed that as grilled "children"... LOL!) and the bakery is open so I'll stock up on treats and just enjoy springtime in the mountains for a few days. I go up again later in April for a long weekend and doctor visit where we'll have to discuss this increased nerve damage.

And then... later this month...  I turn 45 which doesn't bother me as much as feeling 85 does.

The washer stopped. Time to put the clothes in the dryer so I can finish up packing today.

Love and hugs, y'all.





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