I Finally Did It

After two years and four months of trying to tough it out... I have finally filed for disability.
Effective immediately I am on an extended - perhaps permanent - leave of absence.
I will fill in occasionally at the office if I'm able. All of my licenses and agreements will stay active.
But unless there is a marked improvement in my condition, I will not be working regularly.
I am using a disability attorney who was recommended to me by a former neighbor.
They file all the paperwork and represent me at any hearings.
They are very particular in which cases they take on and have a 97% success rate.
Their fee is 25% of my initial payout, which would be for the amount owed from the time I file to the time it's approved.
A maximum of $6,000.
It won't be that much, I'm sure, but even so, I feel the price is worth it.
If I'm not approved, I don't pay anything.
I feel fairly certain that this is the best way to go.
I am anxious but relieved.
As much as I have loved working in this agency, I have truly been suffering.
Suffering to the point of having extreme anxiety whenever I had to go into work.
Even when I was just working a very short time.
So I talked with my Office Manager today and she feels like this is best.
They have been so good to me... and really bolstered my self-confidence.
If I had never worked again after ... well, y'all know... I would have always lived with the feeling that I was a failure.
Having received such great validation and appreciation from them over these past nine months has restored my belief in my abilities.
It's so simple to extend compassion in a work environment.
No matter how little I was able to work, they always appreciated my efforts.
Being physically hampered doesn't mean that someone isn't trying.
So that's that.
I have enough money to take care of my doctor bills and medication and car insurance for a few months.
After that I'll be passing the hat.
I'm going to try to increase my blog traffic enough to be able to get some of the major ad deals.
For that they want to see that you have several hundred followers and x number of blog hits a month.
I'm not sure what x is equal to, have to research that further.
There are people who are making tens of thousands of dollars a month by blogging.
I don't ever see THAT happening but I would be happy to be able to cover my basic expenses.
I was thinking about what kind of blogger I am... so that I could plug into that community and increase my traffic.
Are there any empty nested/single/disabled/living with parents blog groups out there?
Are there people out there who are interested in this process?
What drives my blog traffic?
People who know me in real life?
People who have read my blog for so long that they have to know the rest of the story?
The same kind of people who slow down to see a car wreck?
Whatever the case, thanks for stopping by, for caring what happens to me.
I'll keep you posted.
Please say nice things but not too nice because I might get weepy.
I'm borderline weepy just from reaching this *milestone*.
It helps that I have known for two years that this was going to happen eventually.
So here we are.
Thanks for being here with me.
Love and hugs, y'all.