My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Friday, May 17, 2013

Random Things

Happy Friday, friends and family!

I see we've made it through another week... although I truly can't tell one day from another other than judging what time Pop goes to play golf (morning = weekend, late afternoon = weekday).

My newly officially disabled self and my newly retired mom are mostly just caretakers of the zoo and rarely do anything worthy of makeup... although I have been trying to at least not stay in pajamas all day long.

I'm mostly dependent on screen time for entertainment and fall a little more in love with my tv, computer and nook every day. I'm particularly enjoying www.bookbub.com so that I can download my free books. I got a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble for Mothers Day but I haven't made a purchase yet. Nor have I actually read a book on my nook. I've mostly just used it to play sudoku.

I also got a really lovely potted flowering plant which, fortunately, my mom knows how to care for. The green thumb skipped a generation... and although my parents are excellent at growing things in the dirt... and my eldest has a major gardening project underway for this Summer... I can barely keep dirt alive.

The roses are in bloom here and I will take photos before they die off, I promise. My mom has made a hobby of filling my teapots with cut roses and it's really lovely and brightens up my room quite a bit. I have a collection of teapots and teacups and saucers. I might not have mentioned this. It's one of those things that I assume everyone knows about me.

It's been a rather boring week and the pain has gotten worse, despite not working (or doing anything much, really.)

Occasionally, just for a jolt of adrenaline, I play, "how long will it take to start getting disability?" and balance that out with a fun game of "how long until I run out of money?". And then I sigh and realize that I have very little control over either.

Cody and Marquee left for Disney World yesterday and I am super jealous. Realistically, there is no way I could manage a trip to a theme park. Heck, I could barely stand the pain of walking through Dollar General to pick up red hots this morning. I just so wish I had the resources of money, time, energy to do fun things like Disney. Or going out to eat. Or anything.

Consequently, we have Sammy duty for the weekend which feels like any other day because Sammy stays with us when his Mommy and Daddy are at work or school or the store or out to eat or whatever. I brought Sammy's bed in my room but he wanted to sleep with Mawmaw and Oscar on the couch instead. It's a good thing that Cody and Marquee's latest doggie adoption fell though because frankly, I don't think my mom could fit another animal on the couch with her.

On Monday my mom and I are headed to the mountain house for an undecided amount of time. Neither of us has any obligation to be at the house in Riverdale other than ... nope. I can't think of anything. There is that one shipment I'm expecting from zulily but other than that... free as a bird.

The only real conflict for me, the only thing that keeps me from being at the mountain house full time is that my nest is in Riverdale... tv, recliner, etc. And the fact that it works best for me to be where mom and dad are because I can't do much in the way of keeping house and running errands. Mom misses Pop when they're apart and Pop has another seven months before he retires and has quite a few obligations at church. So I'm just sort of doing what Mom does and trying not to worry or stress over anything long term. I'm trying to let this just be a sabbatical season.

The flip side of the coin is that while I'm sort of in limbo, my youngest is sort of in limbo and I very much need to be where he is so that I can help him get where he needs to be both literally and figuratively. He needs to learn to drive, get his license, get a job, get some kind of education or job training. Many, many things that I need to help him do, buying groceries, for instance, don't get done while I'm a hundred miles away from him. Fortunately Pop was able to go up and help him out this week and Mom and I will be up as needed in the foreseeable future so hopefully we won't have another "my kid is starving to death" crisis.

I've gotta say.... we had a huge dinner Sunday night that my eldest put together... it was incredible, he's an amazing cook. And then eldest and middle and daughter in law bought me a totally scrumptious chocolate cream pie + whipped cream and I could barely eat a bite of any of it - dinner or dessert, choked by guilt that my other child was hungry. Yes, it was his fault in that he did a poor job of managing his resources and refused assistance last Friday when Pop offered to come up. It's that tough love thing... mothers are never good at watching their kids face the consequences for their actions.

Anyways... he has food now and I've been back to my usual "I know better" diet of Little Debbies and red hots and pretty much 90% sugar.

So this is all the fun that is happening in my life right now. Hope yours has been more/better.
Love and hugs, y'all.

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