Today is my first Monday of my "retirement".
Although we know the road ahead to a confirmed, legitimate, compensated disability is a long and winding one...
For the first time in a very long time, I'm waking up to a Monday that doesn't include work or the need to find work.
I'm not really sure how to process it, how to be someone who doesn't work or raise kids or do something, somewhere.
But that's who I am now.
I feel a little bit guilty for not being able to hang on longer
And I feel a little bit of pride for fighting the fight as long as I could.
I believe that the first day of the week is Sunday, at least that's how it should be.
Yet we all feel like things reset on Monday... and we all feel the weight of a long week ahead on Monday.
Well. Not me. Not any more.
Despite being reduced to zero income, I feel incredibly at peace.
Peace that comes from trusting in a Heavenly Father who has never let me fail...
And an earthly father who does the same.
And a mama who, despite her own pain, always does what she can to help me manage mine.
So... with all of that said... with so many of you heading to the office or taking care of the responsibility of a home and children... and for those of you who do all of that and much, much more, let's find a few Reasons to Love Monday!
1. I'm not sleeping well - 3 or 4 hours a night at most - but at least, if I'm sleepy, I can grab a nap during the day.
2. We had a really social and a more-stressful-than-it-should have been Sunday. We have declared today to be Pajama Monday.. the hair is already in a ponytail and I'm ready to lounge. (continue lounging, as the case would be).
3. For the first time in a long time my eldest was in the State of Georgia on Mother's Day. He had a business trip in Athens which is about an hour and a half away. He came and hung out and watched the Braves game (my two oldest boys are HUGE Braves fans!) and cooked this amazing dinner for us - blackened tilapia and linguine with garlic lemon butter sauce and tomatoes. It was SOOOO good!
4. The boys went to Walmart and picked up a chocolate creme pie and cool whip for dessert. I was too stuffed from dinner so I've got that still waiting for me!
5. Pop is going up to check on Austin after work. There is a lot of frustration/confusion/aggravation with the situation of him being up at the mountain house alone with no job, no car - and truly, no way to get to a job- and his questionable ability to manage the household on his own. On Friday he told Pop he had enough food to make it until their next trip to the mountains (the 18th of the month) and then by yesterday he said he was out of food. The truth is that he REALLY isn't mature enough to be self-sufficient. Up until a week ago even though he had not been under the same roof as me, he was at least living with others who were slightly more experienced at managing things. So... being a mom - a mom who doesn't have a durn thing to do but also who is struggling with mobility - I sent out a call for help which resulted in an accident and a lot of frustration which made me feel really guilty that my child was causing stress and frustration and guilty that I had not been able to sufficiently prepare him for adulthood or motivate him to do what he should do. I feel so guilty that like, literally, there is property damage from someone trying to take care of my kid which, of course, as a mother feels like it should be my responsibility and mine only. So instead of golfing today, Pop is checking on Austin and making sure he's set until Saturday when Pop and Mawmaw will be up there for the homeowner's association work day... and from then until next Monday when we plan to head to the mountain house for an extended period of time and hopefully get that kid to work.
6. Now that Marquee is out of school for the summer and doesn't need a ride... and mom is retired... and I'm no longer working... we have all the freedom in the world to be here or the mountain house or wherever, as needed. I love that sense of freedom. I wish I felt like doing something.
7. It's Monday which means that the CSPAN series on First Ladies is on tonight. I think there's also a new episode of How I Met Your Mother. It's a great day to be a couch potato!
8. My brother came by to visit on Saturday and I managed to sit in a normal chair for almost an hour and visit with him.
9. My sister-in-law is starting a new job this week and I am so proud of her!
10. Cody and Marquee are leaving for Disney on Thursday. They are celebrating her college graduation (even though she has one more semester) and her parents' 25th anniversary and her grandparents' 50th anniversary and Cody's big promotion at work.
11. Marquee made the Deans List again - all A's!
Little Kitty is laying somewhere between the arm of the chair and my left hip and the side of the laptop and keeps adding random characters to my blog entry so I guess it's best for me to wrap this up and ... do nothing.
And so friends... whether you're working or resting... here's hoping you're able to find a few Reasons to Love Monday! Love and hugs!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Today is my first Monday of my "retirement".
Posted by Heather at 8:40 AM