my funny valentine...

And the beat goes on...

Went back to the doctor yesterday... had to get something other than that devil lyrica... and I thought a toradol shot would help with the inflammation, right?

It's amazing what they neglect to tell you... I guess they think you know... I thought the whole osteoarthritis, spondolylisthesis, etc diagnosis was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I found out that the xrays/CT scan didn't really diagnose the extent of the back problem. I didn't realize they didn't know how bad the nerve damage is... I didn't realize they didn't know whether or not I have a herniated or bulging disc... or that they SUSPECT such. Which is why they indicated that Physical Therapy LIKELY wouldn't fix the problem. Nice.

The xrays because they can't determine that sort of thing... the CT scan because they weren't focused on finding spine issues, they were trying to rule out a kidney stone.

THEY KNOW there's arthritic changes, additional vertebrae, compression of a disc.

The reason they suspect herniated or bulging disc is because of the place of the pain and the fact that I'm only comfortable in a reclined position... can't be seated, can't stand up straight... I have to be at about a 45 degree angle... and medicated... to be pain free. And this has continued and worsened for over four weeks now. I'm sick of it... and I know the people in my real world are sick of it.

I can only be completely and accurately diagnosed with an MRI. Which I can't get until we've attempted Physical Therapy. Which...they don't believe will help... but is a hoop we have to jump through. That seems like risky pool with my well-being and my quality of life.

Good times. The real caveat in all this, though, is that the Physical Therapist is a lady my brother has known for a long time... and I know her fairly well, we were in Sunday School together for the first few months I lived here. Super lady.

It has been suggested that I call the insurance company and try to get an ok to have the MRI without doing physical therapy first... walking through Walmart on Saturday left me in tears, I am terrified what any physical activity would do. I've been told to take it easy, not do any exercise or anything strenuous, not lift, not take a deep breath... whatever. I'm joking about the deep breath.

Yesterday I got my toradol shot and thought I'd be able to drive back to work and finish the day.

That got veto'ed. My doctor would prefer that I not work at all until we have a diagnosis. That being impossible... the treatment plan is to keep me as comfortable as possible while working... and do whatever we can do to allieviate the pain totally (as in "Cheech and Chong comfortable") at night.

We spent a long time talking about pain management... she suggested these pain patches which... come to find out are $214 for 30 days. Um... nope... I'll just have to hurt. That was the work day plan. Once I hit my deductible - which should be soon - I can get the patches.

Because they suspect this is the beginning of a long term back issue, they are reluctant to prescribe anything habit forming. (ala Rush Limbaugh) Also... the idea is to improve quality of life... they want to prescribe something that won't alter me (like the lyrica)

My drug sensitivities ... allergies and nausea... restrict a few choices. She started to prescribe celebrex and at the last second said, "oh wait... you have a sulpha allergy!"... turns out there's enough sulfa in celebrex to cause a reaction if you're sensitive. My last sulfa reaction was anaphylactic shock. They told me then to make sure I was NEVER given sulfa again. If I had a hives sort of allergy, it would be worth it to attempt it... but if it makes me stop breathing... well, we have a whole new problem, don't we?

I was given neurontin, muscle relaxers... and that's it for the time being. Last night was a long and painful night. The neurontin isn't as altering... but subsequently doesn't provide as much relief. The toradol shot didn't really do what I hoped it would. I still woke up this morning with muscle weakness in my left side... still woke up in a lot of pain... and still need to get through an 8 hour work day with only motrin to alleviate the pain.

I'm discouraged but not defeated. I hate that this has taken over my life in such a way but I've faced bigger giants and won. It's just a matter of jumping through the right hoops, hanging as tough as I can, accepting the current reality while still working to improve things.

I mentioned to the doctor yesterday that my brother has the extra lumbar vertebrae and she said, "it's congenital... all your siblings may have it"... interesting. I think I remember Bryan having back pain. As far as my kids go... Austin has always complained of back pain. Cody too, I think.

I cooked dinner last night for the first time in awhile... chicken sausage with red peppers, onion and collard greens over orzo. It was fabulous! I have enough left over for lunch today.

I'm starting this morning with a headache as well.. I've got steel cut oats cooking in the rice cooker... a big full belly of comfort food should get me out the door in a good way.

Still no child support. Money just about can't get any tighter. I'm so frustrated. If he's not able to pay, the least he could do is let me know.

Austin gave me a big Valentines Day card yesterday. My brother took him to get it while they took the old couch to the dump on Saturday. It meant the world to me... and was exactly what I needed in my post doctor visit depression... after finding out I couldn't afford the pain patches... finding out Austin ate the last piece of chocolate pie... burning my broiled bananas I was going to eat instead... he brought me in this goofy card and it made all the difference in the world.

It doesn't take much does it?

Reasons to Love Monday

I have barely moved from my nest over the past two days. I did exactly what I intended to do this weekend: NOTHING. I'm satisfied with my success.

Nevertheless... it's a brand new week and even though five long days stand between me and the next opportunity to succeed at nothing... I've got to find a few reasons to love Monday.

1. The boss is off today which means.... "just take those old records off the shelf..." Hehe. Just kidding. It means no staff meeting today which means my weekend is extended by a half hour. Woohoo!

2. I get to call the doctor this morning and say, "um... no on the lyrica... what else have ya got?"... because it makes me feel like ambien to the third power and I'm not about being altered that way. Seriously. I wake up still feeling drunk.

3. I'm going to finally take off these pajamas that I've been living in for the past two days and put on "outside the nest" clothes. Dangit. I mean... I do enjoy feeling cute and putting on my tights and boots and a cute skirt... that does a lot for your mental wellbeing. Right?

4. Only two more days until payday.

5. Singles Awareness Day today... by working, I'll avoid a nonstop barrage on facebook of pictures of long stem roses that my coupled friends got... and other trinkets, sappy "so blessed to be loved by my man" yada yada status updates... I won't see any of that until I get home.

6. 8 more hours on the clock = 8 more hours of pay + more if I manage to earn any bonus today. Which will help because the kids' dad is playing hide and seek with the child support... ignoring my messages.... why is it so hard to just say, "I'm not paying you this week" so that I know to guard what's left of my cash and can budget accordingly?

7. I overdrafted my checking account... a check I wrote on January 15th for rent was deposited last week. I keep such BAD records that I thought it had already been deposited. SO today... I get to sort out my negatives... but I'll figure it out. It always works out. Right?

8. I get to catch up on all the Grammy winners since I fell asleep 45 minutes into the show last night and missed most of it.

9. I joined NETFLIX so Austin and I are going to catch up on the movies we haven't seen since we moved up here to the land of no nearby movie theatres.

10. I'm still alive, I'm functioning... I'm able to to work... that's reason enough to love Monday, right?

sisters are doin' it for themselves...my Grammy recap

I'm so inspired by the Aretha Franklin tribute on the Grammys... those five ladies had PIPES! Christina Aguilera definitely redeemed herself from her SuperBowl mishap. Loved Jennifer Hudson - my Weight Watchers buddy - and the other ladies really stepped it up. Good times.

I watched the red carpet shows... that's my favorite part of all these award shows... I love fashion, love to see people all glammed up. I'm more of a classic, traditional kind of style... don't really go for avant guard, over the top stuff ala Gaga. I mean... seriously... I can't even listen to her music because I'm so put off by her desperate need for attention... an egg? Arriving in an egg/womb/spaceship? Audrey Hepburn (as my friend Stacey noted) is rolling in her grave. What happened to taste?

My favorite pop star right now is Katie Perry. I think she's edgy, talented, cutie patootie, funny... she doesn't take herself so seriously as Lady Gaga.

Jennifer Hudson makes me want to lose a bunch of weight this week.

Funniest email of the past week: my friend emailed me and said, "Where were you when I got pulled over for speeding? I sang the State Farm jingle, "like a good neighbor..." and you didn't show up. WTF?" I must have been off that day. Cracked me up, though.

I kinda want an ipad.

Austin and Justin Bieber were born on the same day.

I love the whole concept of sisters doing it for themselves. I love being independent. Especially on Stupid Cupid day. Who needs a guy? Who needs stinking Vermont Teddy Bears or long stem red roses or a heart shaped box of chocolates or whatever other stupid over commercialized crap for a made up holiday that makes single people feel like great big losers. I don't need it. I need my curtains hung... my drawer fixed... things like that, maybe... but I'm doing alright on my own.

OMG. Have you seen the commercial about examining yourself for testicular cancer for Valentines Day? Instead of giving her a diamond, protect the family jewels. Funny stuff.

Watching the Grammys for me... is sort of weird since I don't listen to popular music on the radio. I'm mostly Contemporary Christian... showtunes... or my "learn to speak Italian" cd whenever I listen. I watch TMZ, though, so that keeps me in touch.

What's up with guys in tight pants, Ricky Martin? Emo much?

Truly impressed by the Lady Gaga number. Great dancers... she has a great voice, great stage presence, amazing body. I just wish she wasn't such a freak. Mercy.

Looking forward to the performance of Usher, Justin Bieber and Jaden Smith. That should be interesting. If I can stay awake. The meds are kicking in... I'm getting fuzzy...

And... hello neuropathy... no feeling in my toes, sort of a numb/tingling...

Looking forward to the next Survivor but HOW MANY times can they resurrect Russell and Boston Rob? Not that I don't enjoy watching them both but... geeezzzzz.

Love Miranda Lambert... wonder if she's any relation to Adam?

Why is it that women think they have to wear six inch heels these day? It hurts my feet to look at them. It stresses me out, seriously. I also get stressed when they wear strapless dresses... afraid that they will have a wardrobe malfunction. Maybe that's the costumer in me... I think about how the outfit will hold up on stage.

Lenny Kravitz has a towel/dead dog around his shoulders. I don't get that outfit. Bless him.

Muse. Another band I've never heard of. I'm old, y'all.

I'm also half asleep. Better stop blogging... love and hugs... be back in the morning with Reasons to Love Monday.

lazy day = late blog entry

Blogging late today because.... well, I just didn't want to earlier. I was busy rearranging my frontier on frontierville. Maybe that's lame... I was highly entertained by it.

So... the big hockey date was called off for today. I was more relieved than anything. I'm in pain. There's just no way around it. I can ease it by being on the electric blanket... and by being in a reclined position... but when I sit... or walk... or breathe... or lay down... seriously, any other position... hurts like the dickens. The kind of pain that takes your breath away.

And... honestly... besides being in pain or BECAUSE I'm in pain, I'm in no mood to entertain. I'm not good company right now. That's also why I wasn't blog-worthy this morning.

I'm enjoying the Biography channel today... and there are a few good movies on TCM... does that mean I've reached the age that I like to live in the past? Notsomuch... I mean... I've always been fascinated by history and anthropology... I love knowing how people lived before I lived. I love the fashions and mannerisms in the old movies. Have you noticed that there was an era of black and white movies where women of a higher class ALWAYS had a cigarette in their hand? It was as much an accessory then as Manolos were in the Sex and the City series. Love watching for those kind of things...

I had to run Austin's buddies out last night... I was so uncomfortable... was trying to sleep through the pain... and he had four people in his room playing Wii. I texted him (ha! it's ten feet away... small house) and said, "get your noisy friends out of my house before I embarass you"... and he complied.

Oddly, my brother found out a year or so ago that he also has this extra vertebrae. I still think we lived on a toxic waste site or something. That's purely a joke... our first home was a lovely apartment in my great-grandmother's huge old home in the Druid Hills area of Atlanta... which was built before there WERE toxic things being randomly buried. I think. Maybe it was the lead paint or asbestos?

I don't know if this is a genetic phenomenon. Austin thinks it must be. It looks like an extra vertebrae is found in ten percent of the population.

Anyways... I solved my disappearing dish problem, I think, if Austin will comply. I bought him all plastic/paper goods to use. I bought myself a lovely set of clear glass plates and bowls, 8 new forks, 8 new spoons and he is NOT allowed to touch any of them. We had gotten down to one fork and three plates and two bowls, which is ridiculous because we had something like 20 plates when we moved in. I really believe they're somewhere in his room... but I'm afraid/unable/unwilling to go in there to investigate.

I watched some televangelism this morning on tv. I have a strong desire to be in church, to have a time of worship... but unless I go and stand in the crying room, I can't really sit through a service. I've got a good friend who has really drawn closer to the Lord over the past few months and I'm so encouraged by her spirit. She is a huge blessing to me. The televangelist had a great message but I had to flip the channel when he started hawking his latest book... I understand they have to pay for these broadcasts ... I'd rather they have commercials for laundry detergent or something.

Last night I finally saw Fireproof. Despite the really poor acting... and despite the fact that it's about saving a marriage... I really gained a lot from watching it. I think the Love Dare is something you could employ in any relationship... and some of the concepts of the Love Dare and our attitudes and selfish behavior could really change our most important relationship, the relationship we have with God. I cried at the end when they hugged. It was a sweet story. Poorly acted, as I said...

This frustrates me about Christian material... every time we watch a video in our bible study class, it's almost always laughable. The acting, costumes, staging, production quality... it's all so poor. Sad reflection on our society that the most professionally done movies are about things that don't glorify God at all... but the movies that are intended to teach about God... you can't hear the message for being distracted by the quality of the movie.

I will say one thing about being in a difficult place in life, here over the past few weeks... it makes you more dependent on God. At least it has me. I know I can't make it through a day at work unless He helps me. I'm carried on prayer. I don't want to do anything to get in the way of being able to come to Him and ask for His help... and I believe that if you have sin in your life, you are separated from God. It's caused me to make some different choices over the past few weeks, I have to tell ya. Not that God is fooled... He knows the intent of my heart... I just don't wanna mess things up with Him.

The Daytona 500 is starting. I'm not a NASCAR fan, I mean... it's "go fast, turn left" what's the big deal? Only... you know my attraction to passion... and NASCAR fans are some of the most passionate there are anywhere. I love to watch the pageantry and pomp and circumstance around the start/finish. I'll be watching an old Fred Astaire movie during the bulk of the race.

I've got some bad memories of Daytona... courtesy of "guess who?"... it was in Daytona that he tortured me by lighting his "fire wallet" again and again in a restaurant, even though I'm terrified of fire.... and was tired from a very long/busy/disappointing weekend of constant abuse and frustration. I ended up sitting outside the restaurant while they ate. I guess that was better than having to watch everyone eat... since I wasn't allowed since I had eaten something earlier. Everyone else got to eat again but I didn't. Then... because I complained about the poor treatment I had received at dinner... I was threatened with being put out on the side of the interstate between Daytona and St. Augustine... in the dark... on a rarely traveled road... miles from an exit. The kids cried and begged Michael not to make me get out... and the abuse continued for the entire trip home... it was horrible. That's what i think of when I think of Daytona.

I do, however, have some good memories of watching NASCAR at Michael's brother Tim's house. The guys would grill a dozen different kinds of meat and we were in a race pool so it was fun to see who won. It would be me, the two men and a half dozen little boys... but Tim was always good about taking up for me. More because he liked to argue with Michael, than because he was concerned about me... but there toward the end he told me very sweetly and sincerely that he prayed for me every day. His family could see how I was being treated. They knew. They would rarely confront him about it, but they knew. I hated losing his family because they were all precious to me.

At any rate... it's Pajama Sunday around here... and other than a really awesome Frontier, I've accomplished very little today and have plans to do even less for the rest of the day. I'm worried about the week ahead... Singles Awareness Day tomorrow (copyright Natalie Flake)... a lot of painful sitting... the attempt at Physical Therapy on Wednesday which I've been told could end up being really painful... so I'm storing my reserves of energy for the week. Not trying to do much of anything.

Hope wherever you are... that you're having a wonderful weekend... enjoy the last 20 or so hours of it...
love and hugs!

weighing in... or not...

I made it thru the entire work day yesterday. It was painful... at times I didn't think I was going to make it... there were times that it was hard to stay focused... but I stayed. I had a decent week, commission wise... and it feels good to find success. Work is important to me. I'm not one of those people whose self-worth is defined by career success... work is what I do so that I can afford to do the things that matter to me. But I still want to do good, I'm competitive enough that I want to be good at anything I do. And I appreciate what I have... I worked hard to learn my job and it's important to me to continue to do well at it, even if it's not comfortable.

But when I left yesterday afternoon at 5:30... I was relieved that I had another sixty something hours before I had to sit at a desk again. It just hurts so much.

I'm undecided about the meds they have me on for the back pain. This lyrica stuff is potent... and after some research, I realize I'm at a low dose of it. It helps with the back pain but it knocks me out... it's causing swelling in my hands and feet (didn't know until yesterday that was a side effect and woke up this morning unable to take off my rings). It causes weakness in your extremities... I can barely lift a full coffee mug. Yet, when my back is fully flared up, I can barely lift a coffee mug.

I am just wondering if this is the new normal. And why... if these problems existed before, and surely, they didn't JUST happen... why are they cropping up NOW? And... will the symptoms be dormant again? Will it go back to the way it used to be? Why did they get bad AFTER I'd lost 30 pounds?? I mean, I guess I could say that I had back pain when I walked a lot or sat on a hard surface and that sort of thing in the past... but I never really thought much of it. I start physical therapy this week... on Wednesday... but the doctor is doubtful that physical therapy will work. In fact, she said that if it increases the pain AT ALL to discontinue it until I have a full work up with the neurosurgeon. (again, neurosurgeon because it's nerve related, not because she anticipates surgery being necessary). My doctor said on Wednesday that this will be a process... this is not an acute situation where it will resolve quickly... it's a chronic condition that will take time to deal with... not encouraging.

One thing I can't do is let this be an excuse to eat anything I want, gain weight, let go of my healthy eating, clean eating, eating with purpose, counting Weight Watchers points, etc. I will have to adjust my expectations of progress with losing weight... right now I'm so swollen that it's certain that I'm up a few pounds... but that's not FAT. I stayed within my points allowance this week, again, regardless of cravings, difficulty cooking, etc. I'm not going to weigh in this morning. It would be too discouraging. But I will continue to track every bite, stay within my points and do what I can do to get the weight off. It can only help.

I have absolutely nothing planned for today. I plan to take the lyrica as prescribed - 3 times a day - which I CAN'T do during the week because it makes me too sleepy. I'm hoping that will give me enough relief that I'll make it through the week. I am more aware of the nerves that are compressed the longer this goes on... I can tell when I've been sitting for awhile that my legs are really weak and it's hard to walk. I'm having some numbness in my legs... numbness in the middle of my spine... it's bizarre. Today is the only day until NEXT Saturday that I can truly rest and recover.

Bubba is coming this morning to haul off the old couch and then I'll take some pictures of the new living room furniture so you can see how FABULOUS it looks. Stubby is loving the huge ottoman and has made that his perch. For me, it feels more like a home than I've had in a very long time. With Michael, I gave up all my furniture when we moved in together... then we sold his old saggy baggy handme down living room suite with the promise that he would buy something for us in Jacksonville. That never happened... we had a crappy, used futon in the living room and two horribly uncomfortable chairs. Then when I moved here I was thrilled to receive donated furniture... it wasn't my taste but it was in good shape. That is...until Bitty came into our lives. For the last year I've just been mostly embarassed by my furniture but completely unable to do anything about it... so it's a huge blessing to have a living room that I'm proud to show off. It's finally home.

There are a lot of good movies on tv today... I'm planning to stick close to my warm and cozy nest. I've got to run out and get coffee but otherwise, I think we have enough groceries to last us a few days. I've got a little bit of laundry to wash... a little more to put away... but for the most part, I can rest without guilt. In a way... I would feel more guilty if I didn't rest and then found myself unable to function during the week.

So that's what's up... won't be posting a weight today... but that's ok... I'm still on track, still doing the right thing and eventually, it will pay off.
Love and hugs!

freaky friday

The evil lyrica that knocked me out cold on Wednesday night did NOTHING for me last night. I was so frustrated.

My back pain has changed. It was lower left sided... now it's mid-spine. And it went from sharp pain to muscle spasms to an unreal pressure. It feels like my spine is about to explode. I couldn't get comfortable last night.... I had to arch my back like a cat to get any relief. It feels like there's something in there...

I woke up with the same weakness and numbness in my left side that I had yesterday. I am sooo over this. I know you are too. I know you're ready for me to write something witty and inspirational. Right now... I've got nothing.

The only thing I can say about Lindsey Lohan in the white dress she wore to court... she needs a better bra. She's too young to be so greatly affected by gravity. I'd fire her stylist.

If Donald Trump ran for President, I'd vote for him. He knows how to run a business and the Government IS a business. He'd have enough sense to know you don't save money by spending money. IF the Republican party has any sense... they'll get behind Trump. Controversial candidates like Sarah Palin and Ron Paul don't have a prayer. They're too polarizing. Like coconut... you either love it or hate it.

One of my chicks from my Hen Party brought us dinner last night. It was such a huge blessing. The truth is... by the time I get home from work, I can't stand to stand...I can barely move... it hurts to stand, walk, move my arms... it hurts to not be on the "heating pad" (electric blanket). I am absolutely worthless after sitting for 6-8 hours... we've eaten out more in the past month than we had in the past six. I'm sure that's part of the reason that the scale has bailed on me. It's just not moving. So... this sweet girl brought us a huge meal... enough for 2-3 meals for me and Austin... she made turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, baked sweet potatoes, yeast rolls, green beans, chocolate pie... it was all sooooo good!

Another one of my chicks, Cyndi, is getting new living room furniture so she gave us hers and it is gorgeous! Bitty had made mincemeat of my couch... and Austin had spilled on it... and Bitty had "marked it"... and it really just looked pitiful. Now I have a real, adult living room that I'm not embarassed for people to see. We got a new couch, loveseat and chair... huge ottoman... and it looks brand new (which I don't understand because Cyndi has four kids). I got up late last night and found Austin stretched out on the couch reading a book... it was sweet.

The snow from yesterday disappeared quickly. There was still a patch of "shade snow" behind my house but the roads cleared by midday. I made it in to work by 10:15, which was fine because it lessened the time I had to sit. I don't know what I'm going to do if this pain doesn't ease up soon... I have to work, I have to work full time... I can't stand the pain... it's almost crippling. I want my life back!

I'm guessing Bitty won't be coming home. It's been two weeks now. Honestly... I'm almost glad because I don't want him to mess up the new furniture and I can't afford to get him declawed and fixed. Austin and I have consoled ourselves with the thought that he found a new family who loves him and cherishes him like we did. That's probably NOT what happened, but... we have to believe the best.

Austin woke up on his own. So proud!

My weekend plans are to find someone with a truck who can take the old couch to the dump... spend as much time resting the old back as possible... Sunday I have plans to have lunch and take in a hockey game with Crunch -n-munch so Kuntree will be goin' to town! I'm worried about the hockey game... that's a lot of sitting, walking, riding in cars... all things that cause me pain... but I can't be a hermit. Right?

Guess I better finish up with the City, Farm and Frontier and then start the glam routine... hope you all have a fantastic Friday! Love and hugs!

thankful thursday, slightly altered

Yesterday my doctor gave me samples of lyrica ... this is a pain medicine that focuses more on nerve related pain, assuming that the nerves that are compromised are responsible for the bulk of the pain I'm having.

If Michael Jackson had taken lyrica, he wouldn't have needed propofal. (sp)

Seriously... I have been on a lot of different medications and combinations of medications over the years. I have NEVER had anything knock me out as quickly and completely as this lyrica stuff did.

It's the devil.

I fell asleep at 5:30 and slept in a coma like sleep until after 4:30 this morning. I got up once or twice to get a sip of water and go potty but for the most part, I was knocked out for 11 hours.

That's not what I consider "quality of life". That's my goal right now... having some quality of life return. We're four weeks into this back pain and I'm really OVER it.

While I was sleeping... Austin sent me a text saying he had heard that schools are closed so he was going to spend the night with his friend Zach (the one who got married). Um. Schools aren't closed. They're delayed one hour. I've been calling this morning trying to wake him up. He's not answering. THE LAST thing I want to try to do this morning with roads icy and dicey is go to Zach's house... a narrow dirt road that is rarely traveled... and bang on the door to try to wake him up in time for school.

I'm not even sure I'm steady enough to drive. That stuff really altered me.

The frustrating thing is that the pain isn't getting better... it's getting worse. This morning I have spots on my left side that are completely numb. I have decreased sensitivity in my left hand - and I'm left handed. I had trouble lifting a coffee mug... half empty... I didn't have the strength in that arm. I have numbness in my left foot. When I walk... I'm half dragging that leg. Something isn't right.

But it's Thursday... and I'm supposed to be doing a thankful Thursday post. So I'll put aside my whining for a bit and focus on some blessings...

1. I have worked more this week than in the past three weeks.
2. One of my "chicks" from my hen party is bringing dinner tonight. That's a huge blessing... when I work a full 8 hour day it's all I can do to drive home and collapse. I have spent way too much money (and calories) eating out in the past few weeks.
3. We had snow overnight... it's pretty... but it's minimal so the roads are clear.
4. By Sunday we're going to have temps in the 60's... it's starting to warm up, maybe the worst of the winter weather is behind us.
5. I was able to get samples of the lyrica and didn't have to pay for it out of pocket. I haven't met my deductible yet so I would have had to pay the whole thing.
6. I live in a peaceful part of the world... no rioting.... no starvation... no evil dictators.
7. My "worst thing" is something I can live with. I don't LIKE it... but on the scale of suffering... I'm very low. I'm functioning... maybe at a lower capacity than usual, but I'm functioning.
8. I finally turned in my overdue library books and paid the fines yesterday. I don't mind library fines because I like supporting public libraries.
9. None of my kids are in danger, sick, lonely or hurt. For that matter... none of my family members are in harm's way.
10. There is a lot of love in my life... a lot of good friends, concerned blog readers, awesome co-workers, dedicated church family, chicks in my hen party, adopted nieces, real nieces and nephews... I am never alone. There are always people who care what happens to me. There are people in this world... people in my community, even, that can't say that. I know that I'm blessed and I don't take it for granted.
11. I'm thankful for the internet... and the ability it provides to connect with people that I might not otherwise have ever met, or that I wouldn't be able to keep in touch with... it's a very good thing. Thank you, Al Gore, for inventing it. *laugh*

My plan today is to work a full 8 hour day. Holly is really hampered with her back... she was out yesterday... and I need to stay on the job and be as focused as possible. Please pray that I'm able to do all that I need to do. I'm grateful to be able to work... and I want to give it my best.

Have a great day, y'all... and remember to be humbly grateful, not grumbly hateful... *hugs*