A Blog Entry About An Upcoming Blog Entry - I Love New York

I stayed up late last night doing some research on my paternal grandmother's mother's line. I stumbled into a huge vat of information about a guy by the name of Abraham Isaacson VerPlanck who was an early settler in New York and, I believe, my 11th great-grandfather. (Again, shooting that whole "Southern Belle" persona right in the foot) I had hoped to finish the entry on that this morning but I slept late (7:30) and had to get a shower and it stormed and my mom had some errands to run so the doggies in this house were up under me all morning. Hard to type when you're patting little furry heads saying, "it will be ok". I just couldn't get back in to the kind of deep concentration needed for reliable research.

At any rate... it's like with anything else with my genealogical study... I'm using ancestry.com for most of my information and can't be for certain that what I'm finding, at least as far as the lineage, is correct, however, it's either a fascinating story about an ancestor of mine or a fascinating story about American History and either one is cool in my book. I can't wait to get back into that research and be able to share the story with you/record it here so I don't lose it or forget it.

Yet... it's another day at work for this girl... I'm working from 11:30 to 4:30 today. I'm excited to go, excited to feel productive again and thrilled at the prospect of getting a paycheck this week! Even though it was my fourth day at the office, I met two more employees yesterday that I had not yet met. When I say that this agency is flexible on it's staffing, it's an understatement. There are people who really work just a few hours a week which makes my part-time hours not seem strange at all. That's a huge relief to me. I didn't want to be in the position where my colleagues were begrudging toward my time away from the office. I am afraid to relax and really believe that this is going to work out because it truly is just exactly what I needed (other than not being in the mountains). I guess, what I'm saying, it seems too good to be true. Pinch me.

Yesterday I was right back into the swing of things, taking phone calls, helping clients, sharing my knowledge, just doing the things that seem second nature to me. This is not the profession I would have chosen for myself but it's something that I'm comfortable doing. The hours flew by. It's a much busier office than I've been in since leaving my Uncle's office and probably, maybe, even busier than his was as the policies serviced are about twice/three times what his was with fewer employees. The phone rings a lot. I love that kind of high volume and I can see exactly why they needed someone like me.

My mom had a long, long day at work and was worn out when she got home. Neither of us felt much like cooking, or even eating initially, so poor Pop didn't have his usual feast waiting for him when he got home from the golf course. I felt a little guilty but I'm also relearning my limitations and I know that for me to be at my best, I have to listen to my body. When I hurt and I'm tired, I need to rest. So that's what I did yesterday evening and this morning.

And now... it's time for work... have a great day, y'all!

Reasons to Love Monday - The Returning to Work Edition

There is nothing like a REAL Reasons to Love Monday post that I actually write before I have a real Monday... you know, the kind where you have to get up in the morning and go to work.

1. First thing I found on Facebook this morning, my friend Beth that I went to high school with is on the British Vogue website for her lovely ensemble at Glorious Goodwood (it's some kind of big deal race). http://www.vogue.co.uk/spy/street-chic/2012/goodwood  Check her out! It's a long way from Riverdale, Georgia to British Vogue. Homegirl has done us proud!

2. Paul Ryan as Vice Presidential candidate. I like.

3. Working 9am to 2am beats the heck out of having to be at work for an 8am staff meeting  and working until 5:30. Even tacking on my detour through Morrow on the way home to pick up Marquee, it's still a great day.

4. Pop made coffee this morning. My mom was worried that she wasn't going to have any because this summer I've been making it for her when she gets up... and she was going to need to leave before I got up... but Trouble and Oscar woke me up... and it was already ready.

5. Nothing like having the animals grieving when you're leaving for work. Oscar and Lily knew something was up when my mom put her shoes on to leave for work this morning. Oscar climbed back on my bed, found the cozy, comfy, blanket and went to sleep. He'll be alright. Lily is still pacing, watching to see what I'm going to do. Lady is too old to care.

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!

6. Forgot I took these... you gotta love my little helper cat who has to be right in the middle of everything we're doing... this is him helping Mawmaw do laundry:

7. Eric Boling on Fox and Friends this morning. Love him.

8. It's a cool 61 degrees this morning. We've survived another hot Summer, most of it without having to leave the air conditioning. Without a doubt we'll have hot days until October but the worst of it is over. Fall is just around the corner!

9. Kitty cat kisses. Dog kisses are all tongue and ... ick! Kitty cats just barely touch their nose to yours. Trouble does it when he wants me to get up. Eddie, the old orange "Ginger Cat" (who is part feral and comes in at night) climbs up on the bathroom counter and gives me kisses when I'm going to the potty. 

10. Last Monday I thought it might be slightly possible but I didn't know for sure... this is the first Monday in a long time that I've had a job. Huge Reason to Love Monday!

Have a great day, y'all!

Weekend Recap

It was my intention to continue the story that I started on Friday before work... and yet, here it is Sunday evening and I have yet to do this. It hasn't necessarily been a *busy* weekend but it's definitely different living in a house with two adults who actually communicate versus living with a teenager who would rather not. I find myself talking less to the computer and more to people. And animals. Heaven knows that this is a family who speaks to animals.

Anyways... my mom starts back to work tomorrow, her last year as a crossing guard. My daughter-in-law starts back to school tomorrow, I forget what year exactly she is, but I think she's got about a year and a half to go. I will work from 9-2 tomorrow, which is a little different from what I thought my "written in stone" schedule was because I'm working in a really flexible workplace and have volunteered to be used in whatever time slot works the best for the office, so tomorrow, that time is 9-2. The office manager plans the schedule a few weeks in advance and as many requests are honored as possible so that has me working 9-2 tomorrow and 11:30-4:30 on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week, with Friday off. Next week I have two early days and two later days with Friday off. After that, early Monday, off Tuesday, early Wednesday, late Thursday and Friday and then three days off (Labor Day). I am sure I will be referring to my calendar often. Tomorrow it works well because my mom has to train someone so it would be harder for her to pick my daughter-in-law up from school so when I get off work I will drive to the college to pick up Marquee.

The closing on the mountain house is set for Thursday. My parents have a funeral to go to on Saturday so there will be no moving into the mountain house this coming weekend, which means we need to accomplish a lot the following weekend, in order to clean out the two storage places (mine with my stuff and dad's with the stuff he inherited from grandma, which is in storage in North Carolina). It works better because Cody has a test for his work this Saturday and we really need his help. Honestly, I'm a bit anxious about finding help because I can't lift, mama can't lift and daddy shouldn't lift. There's a lot of heavy stuff to move and we haven't found a lot of people who are excited about the prospect of helping us move.

At my parents' church they have lost two young people in the past three weeks, one due to a drowning and one due to a car accident. So sad, especially for a small church. We just never know. For that matter, my mom's brother John is in the hospital and not doing well so my Aunt Ginger and Uncle Carl have headed to Texas via RV to be with him. John is the middle child out of seven.

Pop was helping with the school supply giveaway their church was doing yesterday so my mom volunteered to do the grocery shopping this weekend (my dad usually does it and I tag along). I usually know what we're out of and carry coupons (we saved about $12 yesterday!) Yesterday I went along to show mom where pop finds the things he buys. We spent more and forgot a few things so we may not be trusted with that chore again soon but it was fun. We also went to Kohl's to buy shoes for my mom and ended up with a 30% off coupon that could be used in the next week so we went back today to get a new dog bed for Oscar and a wardrobe rack for me, since there isn't a closet in my room. My hanging clothes spent the summer in the trunk of my car but since I'm actually working, I actually wear something other than pajamas and it's helpful to not have to dig in the trunk of the car every morning before work. Two days shopping in a row is more than either of us would normally do, added to preparing for a work week instead of another week of unintentional sabbatical, really wore me out. I suspect this will be an early bedtime for me tonight.

The latest in the DISH saga, I have received a bill for my "DISH-pause" service and a confirmation email saying that my coverage was paused and that I should hold on to my equipment... then yesterday I got a notice in the mail that they were planning to debit my account on the 25th for the cost of the equipment which hasn't been returned. If I wasn't so aggravated at having to make yet another phone call to them, it would be funny. I'm telling you, DISH is the devil.

Yesterday I lost my big toenail. Hurts like the dickens.

The feedback I'm getting from my new employer is really encouraging. The girl who is training me has had only good things to say. The office manager has been incredibly kind, even offering to advance me some pay if I needed it. From about a year and a half ago until last week, I truly wondered if I would ever be valued as an employee again. I have carried so much guilt about my limitations because of my back and really believed that it was impossible in this economy for someone who was, essentially, "damaged goods" to expect to find work. To be welcomed and appreciated for what I can STILL do, to not have to feel guilty about what I can't do, it's been liberating.  Working four days a week is my choice, I could work more or less, based on what I can do. They are willing to work with me and have asked that I just keep them in the loop so that if I find that I'm not able to work as much we can reduce hours if it becomes necessary. I love my job! I'm so grateful!

Pop made barbeque chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner last night. He made french toast for breakfast. I made tabbouleh for lunch (my mom likes it, my dad still thinks it's kinda weird). We're having chili dogs for dinner. I'm not even hungry at this point... but I'm sure I'll eat!

So... that's my weekend... hope you had a great weekend... I'll finish up with the story I started on Friday... soon!

The Bulloch Family of Buena Vista, Georgia (part one)

Not a lot of time left before I leave for work. My normal hours will be 11:30-4:30, four days a week. They will try to structure it so that I have one long weekend a month to go to the mountains and I'm perfectly happy with that. The philosophy and work environment at this new agency could not be a better fit for me - well, it could if it were in the mountains, but I know that God has placed me here for a season, for so  many reasons - ones that are apparent to me and I'm sure, many others that aren't. I am enjoying a relationship with my parents while we're all still in the prime of life. Many children move back in with their parents or vice versa when there's been a health crisis or decline that creates a caretaker/dependent relationship. We all have our little issues but for the most part, we're healthy enough to work and keep a home and I'm so glad to have this time to share with them.

I wanted to share this bit of history that Grandma gave me while I was with her last month. I have kept the little piece of paper front and foremost in my stack of stuff but I'm afraid it will be lost before I make good use of it so I wanted to transcribe it here for a longer lasting record. You may find it interesting as well.  Have a great Friday and a great weekend y'all!

The Bullock/Bulloch Family of Buena Vista, Georgia and a Glimpse Into the Life of Charles Pelham Ward Family
(written by my grandmother, Leta Mae Ward Gant Harris)

We are descendants of the Bullocks from Buena Vista, Georgia (Marion County) - a small town located in the southwestern area of the state, about 25 miles from Columbus which is 109 miles south of Atlanta.

Our ancestors settled there, presumably having immigrated from England, as told to me by my mother, Sarah  Jane Bullock Baldwin Ward. There were two brothers who came to the United States. One settled in Virginia (we have no location there nor name) and Hardeman (Hardie) came to Georgia.

Cordy Bullock was Hardie's son. He was a merchant, farmer and stockdealer. Cordy was killed in his own store by Carpetbaggers. (Carpetbaggers were Northern civilians active in political, economic and educational life in the South during Reconstruction - 1865-1878 Many were fortune hunters and power seekers. )

Cordy was married to Jane Richardson Combs. They were the parents of George W., James E. and Osborne Cordy Bullock.

Our Grandfather was George W. Bullock. Estelle Mae Maddox became his wife. George was a "jack of all trades" - politician, worked for the post office, farmed, had a wagon train, taking orders for supplies. He provided well for his family, loved to fish and attend the circus.

George and Estelle had six children: five lived to a full age: Eva Mae, Sarah Jane, Lillian, William David and Kate Lou. 

Grandfather died rather young. His brother Jimmy, died during war. Uncle Osborne Cordy became a millionaire through business ventures. President of the Farmers & Merchants Bank at Columbus, Georgia. He also operated a hardware store. Uncle Oz, as he was called, handled Grandmother's business affairs after Grandfather George Bullock died. 

Aunt Mae, mother (Sarah Jane) and perhaps Aunt Lillian ("Nunnie") were school teachers. Mother taught in Americus, Georgia and surrounding areas. Uncle David was employed by the Post Office in Buena Vista. I do not know about Aunt Kate's working career, she was the youngest child. 

Mother married R. P. Baldwin, a prominent Columbus, Georgia resident. He was Editor of the Columbus newspaper at that time. Robert died with Brites Disease after sixteen months of marriage. There were no children by this marriage. Robert bequeathed mother two farms in the Opelika, Alabama area. It is my understanding that Mother Baldwin and our mother were devoted to each other.

Mother met daddy, Dr. Charles Pelham Ward, through a patient of his, Mrs. Lola Honiker. Daddy's first wife, Leta Virginia, died while birthing a child. She and the child both died. Leta Virginia and Charles Pelham had two children: Charles Parmalee, about five and Cyntha Martha, close to 3 1/2 years of age when Charles Pelham married Sarah Jane. 

Charles and Sarah lived at 1208 North Avenue in Northeast Atlanta. When I was six weeks old they bought 1001 Oakdale Road. It was a beautiful big house made of white clapboard, with green shutters and a rust tile roof. There was a screened in porch on one side of the house. The house was located on about an acre of land in the Druid Hills section of Atlanta. Daddy and brother planted apple, pecan and cherry trees. There were grapes, scuppernongs and muscadine vines over hanging either a fence or an arbor. There was a barn way back in the yard where Bill Pony, an Indian Pony, the cow and chickens and pigs were housed. Bill Pony belonged to "Sis" (Cynthia). When Jane, Bette and I were small, Sis used to hitch Bill Pony to a cart, taking us for jaunts around the neighborhood. 

There were fig bushes, rose bushes, lilacs, peonies, iris, forsythia, wisteria, tulips, daffodils, jonquils, narcissi... all kinds of beautiful plants, flowers, shrubs - january jasmine, spirea, butterfly bushes, etc. Each year we planted a vegetable garden. 

The garage had  servants quarters. Later it was renovated into an apartment. Many interesting people came to live there. 

During my childhood I vaguely remember Grandmother Estelle Mae Maddox Bullock. I can, however, see a tiny woman in a back dress. She must have been in her eighties. She was visiting our family on Oakdale Road. Shortly thereafter she died - must have been around 1930.

As a family we visited Buena Vista where Uncle David and Aunt Relia resided with their children: David Jr., George and Frank. Aunt Hattie Maddox lived there also . She was employed by the Post Office. 

We had many fun times, visiting Aunt Relia and Uncle David, Aunt Hattie, Barbara, Bette and I helped Aunt Relia shell peas one summer. For a reward she made each of us a pretty dress with a white collar. Mine was blue... Bette and Barbara's, pink.

Since Aunt Hattie worked during the day we would spend nights and weekends with her. She had a big scuppernong arbor in the back yard and fig bushes. Many times Mother was with us. Aunt Hattie loved to talk, knew lots of town gossip. Cousin Hattie had jet black hair from the day I knew her 'til the Lord called her home. She was quite a lady!

(to be continued....)

Thankful Thursday - The New Job, etc

Remember when I used to get up and blog at 4am? Yeah. Not so much any more.

I had a painful day yesterday and a sleepless night. I'm supposed to go to the mountains tonight for a doctors appointment tomorrow morning but. Yeah. Not so much.

I know that by the time I work today I'm not going to have enough left in me to drive up there. It's only about an hour and a half drive but by the time I get off, it's going to be rush hour so it will be a longer and more tedious drive. I can't imagine being up to that today.

I can postpone this doctor visit for another week or so without it causing too much trouble.

I think there's a plan to move into the mountain house next weekend or the next one so it would make more sense to do it then, I think.

I also am stinkin' broke. It makes me nervous to get too far from home with only a few dollars. But I'm employed! Woohoo!

Yesterday I worked six hours. I thought the plan was for me to do five hours, four days a week. They asked me to work six yesterday. I'm not sure if that was a misunderstanding between the office manager and the girl training me or if they're planning on having me work six hours, three days a week. I'm not crazy about working six hours a day and it hurt like the dickens HOWEVER at this point, I'm just going to do what I have to do. That extra hour might not seem like much but my back did not appreciate it.

I really love the way this new office is structured. It's a huge, huge agency. Bigger than even my Uncle's agency, which was huge. Everybody has a different role to play, using everyone's strengths. There are people who literally work two or three hours a week and others who work a full 40 hour week. Everyone is valued for the different skill set they bring to the team. There are people who have been with one of the agents for more than thirty years, who are well past retirement age who continue to work because it's such a flexible and pleasant working environment.

The fact that it is two complete agencies under the same roof and with the same staff creates some new challenges than what I've encountered before but they are very organized and things seem to run really smoothly. Neither of the agents or the office manager were in the office yesterday.

I was able to get into the computer system... there were a few snags but fortunately, my experience enabled me to navigate through things and get to the right people who could get things going for me. My training is consisting of just learning the office procedures and learning the new auto quoting system that started this week (and one of the reasons my hiring was delayed). I know all the State Farm stuff, I just have to get updated on any policy changes or procedure changes that have happened since I last worked.

I took a thirty minute lunch break and went to Krystals. I love a cheap lunch!

The office closes at 5. I was home by 5:20. It's a good fit for me. If I need to work six hours, I'll adjust. Working anything less than 40 hours a week is going to be a better situation than what I was trying to live with before... working anything more than zero hours a week is going to put me in a better position than what I've been with over the past five months. Going in later helps because it gives me time in the morning to ease into the day without having to get up at the crack of dawn. That way, if I have sleepless nights like last night, getting up and getting ready for work will be less of a challenge.

I swore I wasn't going to ... but I watched "here comes honey boo-boo" on TLC last night. The family was a little crass... the little girl was slightly over-exposed to things that were beyond her age... but there is a real solid, honest, genuine quality about them that is interesting to see. Even though Alana never won the big prizes at the different pageants they've shown her in, she had a really sweet sportsmanship that was encouraging to see. Honestly, that little girl is a female version of my former stepson... I was amazed at the similarities and... as much of a pain in the tukas as that kid was to me...I miss him and wish I could have been in a position to have been more supportive of him.

I'm totally over the Olympics. NBC's coverage has been ridiculous with the delays of the good stuff until prime time and the way they only show snippets of the stuff I want to see and show unlimited coverage of things like skeet shooting which is about as interesting as watching paint dry. I'm slightly disappointed that I won't be home to see the women's soccer gold medal match today and I won't even be in a position to know about the score until I get home. So... closing ceremonies... eh, whatever.

I'm over Big Brother this year. Janelle, my favorite, is being voted off tonight so I've lost interest.

I'm back to watching documentaries and every episode of How I Met Your Mother that comes on and since it's in syndication... that's a lot.

So ... that's my Thursday. Hope you're all having a good week!

What's Up, Wednesday? The Old Folks Home

What's up today? I'm going to work for the first time since March 16th. That's what's up!
They called yesterday and said they had reinstated my computer sign on and said I could come on in and learn the different office procedures, etc. They want me to work 11-5 today and said they would make sure I had breaks so that I'm not sitting the whole time.
Isn't that a unique perspective? To say that we understand your disability and value you enough as an employee that we will make sure that you are not suffering while you're on the job. It's a super morale boost for me, to know that there is a concern about my well-being.
I'm anxious, of course. It feels like the first day of school. I even have my outfit laid out -it's the outfit I wore for a few hours yesterday when I took my mom to the doctor and when we went out to a late lunch/early dinner at Olive Garden. Clean enough still for a few hours at the office. I need to get the rest of my clothes out of the trunk of my car so I have a few more work outfits. I've been in tshirts and shorts most of the summer.
By next week we'll all be back to a somewhat normal schedule - Marquee starts the fall semester in college, my mom goes back to her last year as a crossing guard and I'll be gainfully employed.
The poor dogs are going to have to remember how to "hold it" for a few hours in between all of us coming and going.
The morning schedule will work great - Pop leaves at 5, Mom leaves before 7 and I will leave around 10:30. This is important in a house with one bathroom.
I'll have plenty of time in the morning before work to blog, run errands, glam, watch the shows that I've come to enjoy watching in the morning and I'll be home in time to watch The Five at 5pm every day.
Of course, my hours and work days are not set in stone yet. I mentioned yesterday how much I would enjoy a four day weekend... I'm going to ask for that but, also, as a brand new employee, I want to be as flexible as possible.
And, finally, I have the luxury of flexibility. No kids to worry about after work. Just my fur-boys and there's always someone around to make sure they're loved and fed.
Cody got off early yesterday and came and played with Trouble. Trouble misses Austin so much... Austin would always play with Trouble and gave him an outlet for his energy. Cody's cat, Tommy, has gotten too old to play so Cody comes and plays with Trouble. Cody even brought over Tommy's old toys for Trouble and Trouble LOVES them... whenever Oscar the wiener dog doesn't take off with them. Trouble even lays in the windows on the end of the house by Cody's house to watch for Cody to get home.

We got the inspection report on the Old Folks Home yesterday. There are a couple of things that have to be fixed, one of the a/c units, a little plumbing, a few electrical issues. There is a tree that is too close to the house that will have to be cut for us to be able to get an insurance policy issued. There are a few little minor things that need to be fixed - a nail here and there - cosmetic things. I think the dishwasher has to be replaced. In the scheme of things, even if you add in the cost of the repairs, mom and dad still got a great deal on this house. Pop got a taste of what it's like to live in a small town last week when he called the a/c repairman. The repairman indicated that it was a $125 charge for him to go out to diagnose the problem ... then when Pop gave him the address the repairman said, "Oh, I can save you the trip... I've been out there.... here's what we need to do". That's the way it works a lot of the time.

Here's another view of my part of the house... the one door on the end is a storage shed. Then there's a sliding glass door that goes into a big living space... big enough for my living room furniture and even a kitchen table and chairs (which we have, of course). There are two bedrooms down on this level. One doesn't have a window, which would be great for Austin if he ever decided to move in with us as he always wanted his windows blacked out to maximize the game playing experience. Austin, however, is still enjoying his stay with his married friend and is still working! Woohoo! He said they plan to get an apartment, him, married friend, married friend's wife and their two kids. Don't ask me how that all works... I didn't get into the details with him because even if I had an opinion or suggestion, he wouldn't take it anyways and it would just frustrate me. He's eating, he's working and he has some ambition of bettering his circumstances so... that's all I need to know.

This is one area that we have to work on... there was a little waterfall set up leading to the bottom floor but it's overgrown and needs a little tlc. My mom is a great landscaper so this is right up her alley. But ... even with the little bits and pieces of things that need work... it's all worth it because...

I can't wait to be up there on Friday so that I can take some pictures myself.... I want to get some shots closer to the lake. Pop says there's a little tiki-hut type structure on the dock and mama doesn't remember it. A big reason they wanted this particular house was because it had a place for my mom to go fishing. She's going today with Uncle Carl. She is getting her tackle box together now. She gets that fishing gene from her dad. I did not inherit this gene. I appreciate the view and hope to be able to set up a little outside space for me, maybe with a comfy chair and a little place to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning. I doubt I'll be hanging out at the dock much.

Anyways...  it's been a good week so far. Life is good. Nothing to whine about today!

Reasons I Loved Monday

I had a lot of good reasons to love Monday yesterday but they were so good that I didn't have time to blog about them.

I officially start work on Thursday. There is still some paperwork and behind the scenes processes that have to be completed so they will have me come in on Thursday just to learn the office procedures and stuff like that... the administrative stuff, so to speak. Every agency does things differently. Friday I have a doctors appointment in Cleveland and then by Monday I should be legit and ready to jump back in. There's a new quoting process for auto insurance that I have to learn and a few other changes but I'm sure it will be like riding a bike (you know, you never forget how). This job will be about 20 hours, 4 days a week. The hours are very comfortable for me - 11 to 4. My goal was to bring home about a thousand dollars a month to be able to cover my own expenses (medical expenses, car insurance, etc) to work on some of the debt that I have accumulated (mostly medical debt) to contribute some to the two different households that I will be enjoying (in Riverdale and in the mountains) and to save for the time when I eventually need to go on disability and will have a time without income again. This should be enough to check all of those boxes. I'm relieved and excited but part of me is still fearful that there will be some problem along the way that will prevent this from happening. It's been a long journey.

Ironically, it was working at my sister-in-law's mother's yard sale that moved this process along. She mentioned that she was having an insurance problem, I asked to see the letter she received and realized it was the same agency where I was eager to work. I told Grammy who to ask for... she did... mentioned my name... and the next day I got the call to come in for the second interview. I suppose it could just have been a coincidence but I see it differently. Do you remember that day that I blogged saying that I was wrestling with God about why things weren't going my way and He reminded me that was because things were going HIS way? Yeah. That's what needs to be.

My first choice would have been living full time in the mountains and I have to tell you, honestly, there was a job at Truett McConnell College that I coveted. Seriously... I prayed that God would not let the person who was interviewing for it have it so that I could have it. And then I realized that  might just be a person living close to the college who didn't have the options that I have and so, in my heart, I truly conceded to His will. And then I also realized that it makes a huge difference for me to not be alone all the time and I realized that I will push myself as part of a family beyond what I would push myself living alone. I cook dinner because I know that my mom won't eat well if someone doesn't cook. I cook because I know that Pop has been gone all day and needs to be able to just walk in and find a plate ready for him. I get up in the morning because the dogs need to go out and the cats need to be fed and... well, you get the point. Trying to transition between being a single mom with a very dependent child to being a single, empty nester was a daunting prospect. I don't NEED to be alone all the time.

Working these hours will allow me to spend three day weekends in the mountains. I'm even considering asking if I could work Monday through Thursday one week and Tuesday through Friday the next so that every other weekend I would have a four day weekend and that way I could travel to the mountains every other weekend. Once my mom officially retires, that would give her a chance to be up there longer. She doesn't drive on the interstate so she needs a ride. That would also give me the opportunity to still use the same doctors in the mountains without having to change, which is a big deal when you have a couple dozen different diagnosis' like I do.

Initially I will just be working "a couple of" days a week while they figure out where I fit in and how to best use me. There is a guy who is potentially moving to a different role within the company so that will open up a different dynamic in the office. They are open to having my sales agreement with their agency and letting me be a floater in other offices if I need additional hours or if the opportunity arises. There's a lot of flexibility in this situation which is truly, one hundred percent, what I needed and longed for. I just wanted the opportunity to continue to work as much as I could despite this whole stupid back issue. And I prayed that God would allow me to be in a situation where I didn't constantly have to apologize for my limitations, limitations that are beyond my control. Having the guilt on top of the pain was an unfair burden and I am so glad that God has/is moving me past having to carry that burden.

So... within those paragraphs I hope you saw a lot of reasons to have loved Monday yesterday. There's more, though... did you see the soccer game between the U.S. and Canadian women? BEST. OLYMPIC. MOMENT. EVER!!!! It's like I told my dad... you know it's a good game when you scare the dogs at least once. It was absolutely inspirational to watch how hard these girls pushed and pushed and pushed. They were soaked in sweat, obviously exhausted and the level of determination on both sides was unbelievable. I'm only slightly bummed that the gold medal game will happen Thursday during my first day at work. I might be able to see the very end of it but I'll actually be heading toward the mountains after work to spend the night at Jim and Angie's for my doctor's appointment in Cleveland on Friday.

I've heard from a lot of people who are going through the same struggle to find a job... to find a better job or to find something to improve their standard of living. It's a sad epidemic that's affecting so many people, not just in the U.S.  - my favorite Aussie is also looking for work - and it's hard to see the good or, more appropriately, "the God" in all of the discouragement. The world is divided between the haves and the have-nots and it's so hard to be on the have-not side without feeling shame, hurt, jealousy... just so many ugly things that none of us want to own. I will confess to saying, more than once, "God, I need you to reveal yourself in this plan because I'm just not feeling it"... and I can say that now, as the pieces start coming together, that I'm starting to get a glimpse of the final puzzle that is being put together in my life, at least in this season of life. It's been a long transition... from the time that the pain started a year and a half ago and even before, when we were living in Jacksonville in a time of so much uncertainty and isolation... and even before that... as a single mom who just couldn't see how to make it work, couldn't get on top of the bills and expenses... and I will just say to anyone who is trying to find "the God" in what they're going through... just keep holding on... it will come together.

Today I'm taking mom to the dermatologist. Tomorrow she's going fishing with Uncle Carl and I'm making paper dolls with Aunt Ginger. Thursday, my new normal starts. Prayers and good wishes appreciated. Hope you all have a great Tuesday and a great week! Love and hugs~!