My People

My People
My matched set of grandchildren - Oliver and Cosette

Thursday, January 15, 2009

surviving a plane crash

If you survive a plane crash, do you complain that you didn't make it to your destination? Do you get mad about the lost luggage? It's a serious question.

I've been watching the news coverage of the plane that crashed in the Hudson River. First of all... what a miracle that no one was killed, in the plane or on the ground. It could have gone so very differently.

It could have ended very differently.

Warning: real life application ahead.

I've said an awful lot about what went wrong in my marriage. The undeniable truth is that we had different perceptions of what marriage should be. Of what commitment should be. And... well... I didn't handle the disappointment very well. It was crippling. Devastating. Heartbreaking.

The other truth is that I had wanted out of the relationship before we even got married. I knew. I just knew. I knew there was no chance of the relationship surviving. I knew that we were just fundamentally different people. I'm not pointing fingers (this time) as to who was right and who was wrong. I just know we were very rarely on the same page and most of the time when we disagreed, it was ugly.

Long story (that most of you have already heard) short... it was a downward spiral for me, until I eventually crashed and burned. Crash landed by the grace of God into the loving arms of my friends and family. Gently pulled out of the cold water and wrapped in warm blankets, safe and sound.

I didn't end up where I thought I would be. I lost a few things in the journey. There was a time of true fear and uncertainty. But I survived. I'm safely on the ground and one day I may even fly again.


Anonymous said...

Wow that is a beautiful way to look at it and just know you are right where you need to be... Now I was reading the Blog when you meet MJD and I knew right away just in your words that it wasnt going to last But I also knew that no matter what happen you would rise above it Iam not happy your marrige is over But Iam so glad for the true love of God you have found There is nothing MJD could have given you or said that could beat what you had waiting for your life... You talk about prince charming and wanting a fairy tale you got something better you got the real deal and that is unreplaceable God Bless

Peaceful Epiphany said...

OMG Ryan and I were just watching the news and we were talking about the luggage/vs carry on thing and we were like...what if you saw someone wanting to carry some shit off the plane...would you hit them??? I was like I would try (in this calmer plane on fire so on so forth) to get as much out of my purse and shove it in my pockets and bra as I could before getting off. Especially my cell phone. I mean seriously. LOL.

WHY did we think of the same damn thing as you did?? Are we the only one who thought about that? OH man. TOO FUNNY. I have stuff in my purse that can't be easily replaced. ROFL. Okay...yes, my LIFE is far greater importance and the lives of those around me...but I was definitely thinking the same thing you thought. RANDOM THOUGHT PROCESS OF a 40 YEAR OLD WOMAN STUCK IN HER WAYS I guess.

Not even gonna touch the marriage issue YET. I am still holding my tongue. AH LOT!

Anonymous said...

People who survive uncontrolled plane crashes are generally incredibly happy to be alive.

The rest is gravy. Really. Everything else is just stuff. You may miss something here and there, but then you realize that you're alive to miss it.

You cry, thank heavens, and realize that the rest of your life is a big beautiful gift.

You can always buy another phone. You can't buy another mom.

moshell's lilbit of space said...

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I beleve I have ended up where I intended to be." ~ Douglas Adams.

My heart to you.