My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Nothing New Under the Sun

My mama just asked, "are you not using your computer? you're not on facebook any more."
I'm on the computer all the time. A little less over the weekend as I've been battling a little head cold that made my eyes weak and gave me a bit of a headache. But... still... all the time.
I haven't been blogging because I haven't been inspired. There's really nothing new to tell you.
We elected the same durn President.
I've got the same durn back pain. Worse over the past few days.
I'm still fat.
I still love my job.
Austin is still in Pennsylvania and I miss his little mop head.
Oscar the dog still needs body heat or he will die. (this is an exaggeration... he only *thinks* he will die without body heat. He also thinks he can't feed himself so my parents feed him by hand.)
Little Kitty is still Trouble. He woke my mom up last night because he couldn't get in my room because I had shut the door so that Lily the Incontinent Old Dog wouldn't wake me up.
Lily still wants out several times a night. She takes turns going between me and Mawmaw and Pop. I took the early shift at 11:15pm so I figured I was done for the night and shut my door in case Lily forgot.
I'm sleeping more because I haven't felt good and because the pain meds make me nauseated and sleepy.
Doesn't this look like the same blog entry that I wrote a week ago and a month ago and so on?
There's really nothing new to tell you.
My brother Bryan is coming home for Christmas. I'm very excited that he will get to enjoy the new house. We'll have a four day Christmas weekend and then I have to get back to work and Pop has the youth group from his church coming to the new house for a few days so the rest of us will stay home for those few days.
I haven't seen Bryan in two years and I miss him.
I miss a lot of people.
I still haven't gotten to see Purple Michael since he's been in Atlanta. His schedule has been packed.. so many people to see while he's here in Atlanta plus trying to spend quality time with his parents who are not in good health and so forth. I had a bit of an epiphany the other day and realized that it was highly likely that I wouldn't get to see him at all this trip and it made me really sad. Usually I just go where he is... I would hang out at theatres where he was rehearsing... I would get involved in projects he was working on... I would go to Stone Mountain and visit with him between shows... but my new reality is that I can't walk far and I can't sit for long therefore my days of being a groupie are over.
I guess that's what's new. Learning to accept how my relationships have changed because of my disability.
Living with my parents, which has been wonderful for me... and I hope it has been for them. That's different.
Not being able to be a full time employee. Or have a full time salary. But since I've reduced my living expenses, that's not so bad.
Not being able to go and do and be like I used to. Whether it's church or going out to dinner or whatever it is that involves walking/sitting/pain.
I talk a lot about this on my blog but I don't say a lot in real life. I don't tell people when I'm hurting. I just stay home and avoid painful situations and let people think I'm a hermit. Or I go and I'm not as fun as I used to be. People in pain aren't fun because they can't think about anything but pain.
For some reason this didn't save correctly so I'm updating...
I went to work, spent two hours doing classes, real life and online... and by the time it was time to go I was in a real thick pain fog. I had to go by and pick up a prescription... they got it ready in ten minutes for me, which was amazing, unusual and awesome. I expressed my gratitude excessively.
Now I'm back in the pjs... heating pad on... kitty cat beside me tapping me on the shoulder trying to get me to give him treats...
Another day in paradise.
Happy Tuesday, y'all.



1 comments:

Adirondackcountrygal said...

I have found I have become more isolated since being sick and out of work. I don't go anywhere or do anything. Depression doesn't help either. I make excuses not to do something. I have been trying to get out to the library every couple weeks. I just recently had my dog Buzzy put to sleep. He was wanting to go out frequently too and urinated in the bathroom at night. I miss him but I don't miss having to mop up pee every morning! I know how you feel about the old incontinent dog. I hope you have a good Christmas this year.