My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Reality Checks

Time to start cashing in a few "reality checks".

It's our last day here at the mountain house. I wanted to do more in the way of decorating but... just couldn't get past the pain from last week. I have come to avoid situations like the eight hour work day because I know that once I get to the point of that level of pain, it takes a long time for it to ease up. I'm on my fourth day since ... and I'm still highly uncomfortable.

I have an appointment with the pain doctor tomorrow and - if not for my precarious insurance situation, I would fire him. I mean... I sit in my little exam room every time and hear him refilling prescriptions for oxycotin and morphine and he basically gives me an advil. No, I don't want to be one of those cracked out prescription medicine junkies but is it too much to ask that we move beyond the stuff that we've already determined isn't working? Could I have a few hours a day without pain? A few days a month?  It makes me depressed every time I go.

However... I know that finding a new doctor will be next to impossible. Doctors don't like to take "self-pay" patients. If/when I qualify for medicaid (and I'm not really sure if I do) it will be difficult to find a new doctor that will accept medicaid. Sort of painted into a corner here... and it bums me out. Obamacare/Schmobamacare, it won't matter a bit if  you can't find a good doctor unless you have deep pockets. But I won't get into that today. That reality check is coming soon enough for all of us.

So.. doctor's appointment, drive home, get Austin's laundry caught up and get him packed... cuz he's leavin'... on a jet plane... don't know when he'll be back again. (December 4th)

Back to reality on Tuesday. Tuesday and Wednesday will likely be long-ish days at work. Work tends to either be feast or famine before a holiday. You either have a hoard of people who are trying to take care of business before the holiday or people are too busy getting ready for the holiday to take care of business. I volunteered to be available beyond my scheduled hours if needed. I kinda sorta hope I'm not needed.

Then... Thanksgiving prep... I think I'm probably making deviled eggs because that's what I usually do (and they're usually quite good, if I do say so myself!) and something else but I don't know what else. We won't have to travel far. By "we" I mean "me" because all my birdies will be out of the nest. I've been a mother for 26 years, other than the few months Austin lived in squalor with his friend's family, I've been a "we" longer than a me and even when I was a "me" I was part of a family of seven so there was never much in the way of just me for anything. At any rate... we're having Thanksgiving at my cousin Christie's house which is fairly near to us.

I haven't quite decided if I'll be back at the Mountain house over the Thanksgiving weekend or if I'll just stay close to the Nest. The fact that I have yet to undo the extra damage I did last week while sitting for an extra few hours a day has me a little unsettled. Pain is quite a shocking reality check. It's not like I did anything outrageous or risky like... ride a roller coaster. I just sat for three hours more than usual... and it has cost me dearly. Adding another two hundred miles behind the wheel within the same week seems counter-productive, to be honest. It makes me a little wistful but yet... more than anything.... I'm grateful to have a very short work week and another very long break ahead. These things matter.

And there's the tv factor. I realize this seems really shallow but I'm the kind of person that has a tv on constantly so ... as much as I love the Mountain House, being without tv, especially on football Saturdays, is a bummer. Austin brings his tv and watches Netflix while he's here plus he has a full social calendar. Fat Pat (who isn't really fat) and Logan both spent time here this weekend. Both are decent guys (although I am always suspicious of shenanigans going on down in the Whine Cellar when I'm quartered upstairs) and I'm glad that Austin is able to maintain his connections up here. My friends tend to hang out at the place of worship and I wasn't really up to sitting much this weekend... or any weekend over the past two years, unfortunately. (refer to previous blog entry). But without television or 3d entertainment, I get... not bored... I just miss my tv.

I bought a new computer. I solicited input via facebook and got a lot of good information. My favorite comments were the ones who encouraged me to spend the "extra money" to get a certain brand. OH, don't I wish, I could just access the extra money that I don't have to buy something better than what I can afford? Sounds very much like the government, doesn't it? Come to think of it... that advice came from an Obama Voter, so... there you go. Here at Heather First National Bank we only spend what we have, which, on a part time salary ain't much! But I did manage to buy the same computer (I think) that my mom has for a little bit less than Pop paid for hers. I am SURE that I could have saved another hundred dollars by doing the butt-crack of dawn Black Friday thing but there is no amount of money that would make it worth it to me to be jostled around over a laptop. I found what I wanted online and paid a little extra to narrow the delivery window to a time when I feel certain that someone will be home to receive the delivery. Hopefully tomorrow.

My old computer lasted me three and a half years. I loved it dearly and am sad to see it go. I will take it to the computer guy here in the mountains who helped me save the old girl when she locked up on me a few times... he never charged me a dime and refused to take any tips that I offered. I figure I'll let him replace the power supply and maybe the keyboard and see what he can do to speed it up and then I'll pass it on to Austin. That's further down on the priority list behind fixing the oil dipstick that the mechanic broke when my car was repaired last time... and all those other things that I need to be fiscally responsible with and about.

So anyways... it's getting close to bedtime. Have to be out the door before 9am in the morning to make it to the doctor on time. Back to life... back to reality...

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