My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Friday, August 16, 2013

8.16.13

There is only one toll collection spot on metro Atlanta highways and they will quit assessing the toll in November. There's a news story on right now about how there has been a problem with people "paying it forward" by paying the toll for the person behind them. It happens enough that it's a problem, apparently. It restores my faith in humanity. People, by and large, WANT to be nice. That's what I believe.

Today was my every other monthly visit with the pain doctor. I hate going for a lot of reasons - the cost, the drive, feeling like an addict, having to pee in a cup to prove I'm not using recreational drugs - but I love going to see the Physicians Assistant, "Dr. Matt". Dr. Matt is easy on the eyes... but that's not why I like seeing him. Ok. Not the only reason. He is really just a funny guy and we always have a good giggle.

So when I gave him the update on my disability claim... and told him that they determined that I am unable to do the kind of work I'm trained to do but couldn't determine whether or not there is some other work I could be trained to do. I asked him... for his professional opinion... on what other line of work I could try... and he said, "well... it would have to be something you could do while reclining" and he leaned back in his chair and picked his legs up... so I said, "and... um... what exactly could I do that would allow to recline that is legal and moral?" and he cracked up and I cracked up and... yes. It's official. My doctor thinks the oldest profession in the world is the only one that my condition would permit me to do. And even that... I couldn't do the walking part of street walking.

He said that response makes him think we won't have any problems getting an approval on appeal and he was shocked by how quickly the initial response came. So those are good things. The bad things are that he wants me to go on some kind of anxiety medication to help me let go of some of the fear I have in going anywhere and doing anything that causes pain. I asked him to let me do some research first. He agrees with me that xanax is an evil, evil drug but he does want to start working on finding something that will help me have a better quality of life. The problem is that if they change your meds you have to come every month instead of every other month which I can't really afford to do.

As far as the recent hip pain (which has been particularly nasty today) he thinks we're either dealing with osteoarthritis (which is at the root of my spine pain) or bursitis. He offered a cortisone injection but I reminded him that I'm "self-pay" right now so we couldn't do anything beyond the absolutely necessary for now. He said if I changed my mind to just give them a call. He suggested a few over the counter remedies and ice, not heat, to treat the inflammation.

All in all... not a bad visit but all I can think about is money draining out of my bank account... $140 at the doctor, $75 worth of meds (and I still have two more to fill this month)... it makes me sick to my stomach. I came home and crashed... went to sleep for an hour and a half in that deep, deep sleep that feels like you've been under anesthesia... or like you're Rip Van Winkle... I woke up and looked at the clock absolutely shocked that the time had slipped by so easily.

I didn't blog yesterday because I got into a great rhythm on my genealogy research and just knocked out a lot of those little leaves on ancestry.com. I also started compiling a list of castles in my family. Ultimately I'd love to put together a book about our family that includes fun stuff like that... not just the begats.  I've detoxed from all the online games I was playing. Castleville never would load right. I maxed out at the highest level on Bubble Safari and I got bored with the other Bubble game. I loved playing those games in the beginning but it got frustrating and started feeling more like an obligation than something to do for fun. I'm sure I'll take up another game at some point but for now it feels good to make progress on the old family tree.

I also didn't blog because I have an owie on my left pointer finger. I was petting Little Kitty and something startled him right at the time I reached out for him and he got his claw stuck in the pad of my finger. I screamed which scared him and it took a few seconds for me to get that claw out. It felt like it went all the way to the bone. I (of course) scrubbed it, put about half a tube of neosporin on it and put a bandaid on. All night Kitty just kept coming back and sniffing my finger. He knew he hurt me. He generally behaves as if he has no conscience but you could tell he felt guilty.

Speaking of my sweet kitties... I just cleaned out the litter box and picked up the one random pile that didn't make it to the box. Inevitably there's always at least one rebel pile. What I can't figure out is how one cup of food per kitty translates into about ten pounds of waste per day. I know some of it is the clumping litter but... their ability to multiply intake to an unbelievable amount of output is on par with a loaves and fishes miracle!

Austin has company spending the night tonight... Logan, as usual, plus a boy they haven't seen since graduation. My only reluctance was that they always want to sleep in and we don't know if the grandparents are coming up tomorrow and if so, what time they'll be here. I don't want them coming home to a living room full of sleeping boys. Also, tomorrow is the day that Austin's food stamps are on his card and we need to have a major grocery run. Austin said they could go grocery shopping for me tomorrow and I said something along the lines of not just no but... really, really not. Bad idea. We've got to stretch the grocery money and Austin is generous to a fault. He also doesn't know how to shop for bargains and/or buy things besides chips and coke. I told him they could come but they need to eat first and bring snacks. Which, honestly, Logan is pretty good about doing but the grocery run I made earlier in the week didn't go as far as I hoped due to all the "growing boys" I am feeding. I don't want to be selfish and I love how good Austin is at hosting. I love that he has friends who want to spend time here. I love that I don't have to worry about them bothering the neighbors (because the neighbors are so far away). I love that I don't have to worry about them being on the roads late at night. There are many good things about the tribe that comes here. Many. They just need to STOP EATING!

So, to sum up, the cats need to quit pooping and the boys need to quit eating.

Me, I just need to stop whining and fix something to eat before anyone comes that I would have to share with. Tonight's menu is rice, lentils and kale. Mmmm!

Happy Friday, y'all!

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