8.22.13

Today was unofficial Head In The Sand Day for me. I just needed a day to not worry about water/mold/money/disability/my child lacking motivation and anything else that has been keeping the manufacturer of my blood pressure meds in business.

Here's a few of the things I did (or did not) today:

• I went to the store and bought my favorite kind of ice cream and decided I would eat as much as I wanted today. I've had two bowls and I will probably have a third before bed. My current favorite is strawberry cheesecake from Mayfield. Most of the Summer has been butter pecan so this is new.
• I also bought orange sherbet because one day last week I wanted some. I don't today but when I do, it might still be there.
• Continuing my "food is happiness" theme, I made corned beef hash for dinner. It's one of Austin's favorite meals and I know... I know that canned corned beef hash grosses a lot of people out but really, I add a chopped onion and green bell pepper to it and cook it to a crisp and it's better than the best filet mignon to us. The house smells but it's ok. My hands also smell like onion and I'm ok with that too.
• I bought treats for the cats. When I go downstairs at night the cats wait for me to open my night stand drawer and pull out their treats. It's our routine. Or... it was until two weeks ago when we ran out of treats. Tonight, they're going to be treated again because in my world, food is happiness and my kitties need to be happy too. 
• I did NOT try to remove water or mold from anything. Just for today I'm not fighting that battle. What is ruined is ruined and beyond my power to repair. I'm saving all exercises in futility for tomorrow. 
• I'm not shedding any tears today. I've cried enough this week for a month. 
• I bought new cat litter but did not scoop the litter box. Austin has promised to do it for me and if he doesn't, I'll do it tomorrow. I've scooped poop every day for the past three weeks and it hurts to bend that way, it hurts to carry the bag of poop away, it makes it hard for me to breathe and I needed a break. (I did, however, move another unauthorized dump because I wouldn't just leave that sitting around.)
• I enjoyed the early morning mountain air with the windows of the car down on my drive into town... I don't know if it got hot or humid later, I didn't bother to check. I enjoyed what I had of the outdoors while I was out there and it was so perfect that I didn't let anything distort that precious memory.
• I didn't wake Austin up. I didn't ask him to do anything. I waited until he said, "Is there anything you need me to do?" and when he said, "does that have to be done right now?" I said, "no". And I didn't worry about if he really would do it. It will get done or it won't and if it doesn't then I'll worry about that tomorrow.
• I didn't sweep or mop the floors. The house is in desperate need of some sweeping and mopping but my hip pain is wicked today and I decided that I was not going to cause pain to myself just to have a clean floor. Maybe tomorrow. 
• I worked on my genealogy stuff today but I didn't work as hard as I've been working. I took a lot of side trips to research different people and places without feeling the pressure of needing to winnow down the number of hints left unresearched. (which, I think, is not a word, but that's ok).
• I worked a dutch braid into a side fish braid and I thought myself quite clever for doing so. 
• I discussed the fun and folly of playing the lottery with a bag boy who walked me to the car at the grocery store today. He had quite a bad speech impediment so for the first part of the conversation I thought we were talking about whether or not we liked lawyers... and I'm relatively fond of them (hehe... get the pun? my brother's an attorney so I'm RELATIVELY fond... get it?) so I was "pro" lawyers all the way up until I realized that I was agreeing to liking playing the lottery, not liking lawyers. Then I dug up an anecdote about how we played at my last job and that got us to the car and my three little bags plus cat litter loaded so it was all good. 

Today has been a good day. I know that we can't always stick our heads in the sand but I think that for me, it was imperative to have a day of not being upset and stressed about things I can't fix. Between the disability denial, the moodiness and unpredictability of the kid, the water... ugh... all these things... I have felt so overwhelmed and today, well, I just don't. I feel much peace. I hope you had a good day... or at least a Head In The Sand day yourselves. Love and hugs, y'all!