My People

My People
My People - Cosette, Austin, Oliver, Cody, me & Ryan. Just think, had I not lived, these people wouldn't be on the planet. They are my whole heart!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

8.24.13

 Well we're movin' on uuuu-up!

Pop got the last de-humidifier in all of Habersham and White counties and the basement has gone from 90% humidity to 59% at last glance. The wet carpet is out and after a little help from the HVAC guy to get the a/c working on the upper level, Austin and I are set up in temporary quarters on the top floor of the house.

Apparently there are many people with more humidity than they want since Pop got the last de-humidifier in Lowe's with people calling in to look for one. They are sold out. It's a handy little machine and I'm encouraged by how quickly it's working.

overlook the Christmas decorations in the window...
So I washed all my bedding, dragged my jumbo bag of kitkats, my jumbo bag of skittles and the kitties treats  along with all the pillows and cushions it takes to build a proper nest up to my executive suite. I had a little help but still made about a dozen trips up the two flights of stairs and I'm aching as a result. I was semi-tucked in for the night at 5pm. Seriously, stairs are not my friend.

I had made a big trip to Walmart this morning to get groceries for the next few days + fishing worms for my mom and little doggie food for Oscar. If that ain't love, I don't know what is. This girl had never been in the sporting goods section at Walmart until I went with mom to get worms one day. Now I know exactly where to find them - file that in the "things I never imagined doing" section. I also made a couple dozen trips up and down the dog food aisle looking for something that compares to Oscar's special Eukaneuba for dachshunds. We had to settle for something for small breeds but not dachshund specific. Again... minus the bait and the puppy food I could have made a sufficient grocery run in a smaller store... but I did need printer paper. More on that in a minute.

I went ahead and bought a bunch of ground beef and browned it all and put it in the freezer for meals in the coming week. That way... dinner requires less standing time... although it made for a little extra standing time today right after the long Walmart tour... I'm glad to have one chore out of the way. We'll still have our standard frozen pizza at least once this week but we can also have hamburger helper and sloppy joes and such without too much fuss. I try to make at least one decent meal a day when my mom is here because she's little and can't live off the fat of the land like I can. Dinner tonight, however, is animal crackers and orange juice because that's all my tired body could think to eat.

I've ranged from completely unconcerned to full on panic attack over financing my waiting period until my disability is approved. And it will be approved, I'm certain of it. It's just a matter of time. I knew I had a little bit of 401K money that I could use in a pinch but I knew there were some seriously penalties for accessing those funds. After a wonderful chat with a State Farm Mutual Funds representative (shameless plug for my former employer) I discovered that having filed for disability allows me to waive the penalty for early withdrawal. The other big hurdle is paying taxes on the funds and... trust me, I won't make enough money this year to owe any taxes so I have that little bit of money available to me. There are a gazillion forms to complete and the process is a little clunky but at least I don't have to worry about skipping doctor visits and cutting pills in half to make it through. This is a huge weight off of my shoulders.

Speaking of weight... my diet is atrocious lately but the quantity of food that I eat is rather limited because pain takes away hunger for me. We discontinued one medication that was a real amp to the old appetite and today, I was able to see a difference in my shape. This requires a TMI disclaimer but I'm gonna say it anyways... I bought new drawers today because the last time I had bought new underwear was two years ago when we had the fire and ... it was time to get new. They didn't have the size I bought last time in the kind I wanted so I went down a size and... they fit! They fit nice, as in, with still room to spare! I haven't stepped on the scale in the past few weeks but I knew I was down just a little bit. Maybe if I can kick the sugar habit I can really get closer to a healthy weight.

I had a long chat with an old friend today. You know... the kind of friend who, no matter how long it's been since you last interacted, you pick up right back where you left off. The reason for that is unconditional love. It's because you always come back to that person with the understanding that no matter what crazy thing they have going on in their life, you're always going to believe that they are capable to handle it. You believe that their heart is pure, at least toward you, and you can have a conversation that doesn't require any subtext or disclaimers or fear of how we will be perceived of  "gosh, I hope this doesn't make me sound mean" or "I hope he doesn't think I'm a bum" because I know. He knows who I am. And He knows that I know who he is. I'm talking, from the core, from the deepest heart of him and no matter whatever circumstances present to us, I know who he is at the core of his being. I trust his heart and he trusts mine. It you have that as your foundation of any relationship you will always that person as your anchor in any storm.

And for us, for both of us, there are storms raging all around us. We're not going to pack a picnic basket and ride off into the wild blue yonder without owning our own circumstances... and without doing everything in our power to help each of us own each other's circumstances. My friend exchanged rings with me and my kids years ago ... the first initial of each of our first names ... not a wedding but a bond... a promise to be there for each other in whatever way possible for as long allows us to share this planet. I hope some of that made sense. At any rate... he'll be here this fall for several months, tending to two people in his life who he dearly loves who are suffering on a whole new level of crisis than I am. We're planning to get together so I can be with him while he does what he needs to do and so he can get a better idea of what my life is like now. But even if none of those plans to be in the same zip code for a time don't work out... today was a touchstone for us, going back to the foundation our friendship is built on and reminding ourselves that it's still there and it still works. I am honored to be his friend. Today was one of the best days I've had in a long time.

If you would, those of you who pray, if you could lift up Ken and Barbara over these next few months. God knows the needs and I just want their names to on the lips of saints far and wide.

So that was my happy Saturday. I'm up high and dry. Sleeping in a new room feels like a vacation. I worried my dad to death over this water in the basement thing (he's glad, once again, that he only has ONE daughter! and I'm determined to be all the daughter he could ever need!) but I'm comfortable with the plan in place to get rid of the moisture and eliminate any mold. We got this.

And with that... time for me to curl up and read a book... get an early bedtime... just enjoy a few hours with nothing hanging high up on my worry chart. Hope you're having a great weekend! Love and hugs!

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